


Knife's Edge

by Auntie_Dot



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Attempted Kidnapping, Chaotic Dumbasses, Depression, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Fluff and Angst, Foreplay, Homesickness, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Long-Distance Friendship, More Characters Tagged Later, Multi, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Past Lives, Past Relationship(s), Physical Abuse, Recovered Memories, Slight Canon Divergence, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2019-12-18 15:54:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 93,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18253055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auntie_Dot/pseuds/Auntie_Dot
Summary: Awoken walk that ever-thin line between Light and Dark. Especially those of the Reef.Vivian Mou was once a longtime member of the Queen's Court. One day as she attempted to return with some scouting reports, her life was ended after a long pursuit with unknown hostiles. Centuries passed. Now, she's alive once more. The only clues to her past? The ruined ship left in the Reef, her hand cannon, knife, and a badge, adorned with her name.The only thing this Kinderguardian wants is to remember. But is the past really something a Guardian should search for? Is it worth ignoring orders? What if it holds the answers to prophetic dreams?





	1. All Endings are Beginnings

There is a certain peace in death. Your actions in life are what determined how you were remembered after you are gone. Nothing more to do than face death in the face, and spit in its eye.

 

Vivian was trying to outrun an enemy ship on her tail. It was proving to be a challenge. What proved to be some of the Reef’s best defenses- giant rocks of stone and ice and pieces of long-abandoned ships- had done more damage to her own craft than the enemy.

 

A Crow’s experience wasn’t one of space fights. That sort of action was reserved for the Corsairs. And their ships reflected such: a Crow’s standard ship was fast, lightly armored and armed, and had cloaking capabilities. Corsair craft were slower, armed and armored for fights in these fields of debris.

 

Memories of her training as a Corsair were keeping her alive. But her craft wouldn’t survive bouncing off the rocks and ships at the speeds she was flying. Rocks exploding on all sides of her as the enemy craft pursued her deeper, deeper. Normally no one would venture to this part of the Reef. It was known as a graveyard for the uninterred.

 

A weaker Awoken would have blown up ages ago. Would have collided with the debris and joined its numbers.

 

As her hands were on the steering mechanisms, her mind focused on firing. The pain from her wounds was making such a task difficult. The feeling in her legs were gone. Her hands would soon join- fingers, normally agile, were growing steadily stiffer.

 

“I need some help out here” she hissed through the open com. There would normally be a squadron of Corsairs that would escort ships this far in. Yet, not a single one was in sight. Something was wrong.

 

“Wrath, I _require_ assistance. I’ve got two bogeys on my tail and the field’s getting heavier by the moment.”

 

Silence. The comms were working, right? There wasn’t any static in her ears. The sound of the alarms in her ship were still blaring. One more ping. Just one more…

 

A shot hit true. It blew off a wing to her craft. At the speed Vivian was going, there wasn’t enough time to course correct. Her ship hit an asteroid, colliding with rock and ice, sending it and her ship to pieces. The impact was enough to shatter the cockpit, enough to kill the Crow on impact.

 

The enemy ships flew by. They weaved through the field of debris.

 

No one else came to assess the damage. Vivian Mou was simply another lost number in the Reef. And for ages, her resting place remained undisturbed. In her absence, the Reef changed. More ships added to the number. And with them, followed scrappers.

 

Something floated through that busy space, centuries later. A Ghost, a Guardian’s tool of survival. Its shell was cracked and singed from a recent close call. If it didn’t find someone to bring back, if it didn’t find its Guardian, it would perish in this debris field.

 

Scanning each crashed ship, the Ghost moved from one chunk of debris to another. It came across the black and gold-painted craft, the Queen’s symbol clear on its one remaining wing. The Ghost scanned the craft, stopped, and scanned again. There was someone here. Someone they could bring back.

 

_Their Guardian._

 

It was difficult to find the cockpit, mostly smashed against the rock. An Awoken’s burnt remains still occupied the pilot’s seat. The Ghost scanned the body. Its cracked shell began to glimmer. A blue light grew out of the shell, expanding its pieces as they floated in the light. The Ghost and the corpse flashed-

 

Within moments, the corpse’s burns vanished. Pale blue skin poked out from burnt out patches of armor. A hand reached its chest. With a light tug, it pulled on the restraints that had kept it one with the craft for so many years. With a few more, stronger tugs, the restraints snapped.

 

No longer a corpse, the Awoken shifted its legs and began to float away from the craft. Blue eyes scanned the surrounding graveyard. They settled on the Ghost floating eye-level.

 

“I finally found one” it said. “I found _you._ See, you were dead. A crispy little Awoken.” The Ghost moved back to the ship. It scanned a hand cannon wedged between the seat and one wall of the cockpit, and a large knife opposite. “We need to get to Earth. To the Last City. They can fill you in there better.”

 

The Awoken merely nodded. They reached for the weapons, found the burned holster and sheath, and stowed them on each side of their hip. There was something else gleaming under the hand cannon. A badge. Bent, but still somehow glowed its hues of yellow and purple. The Awoken found a pocket that seemed to hold it pretty well, and stored it there. Their body ached. They were getting colder, lungs pained at the lack of air.

 

Where could the pair go? How would they get to Earth? The pair floated through the debris field for days before they came to one of its edges. The new Guardian would expire every few minutes, their Ghost bringing them back, expire a few minutes later. Again and again. Until something glimmered before them. In the distance, Mars was a red gem in the sky.

 

“We can call for a ride when we get to Mars” the Ghost explained. “We just...need to get there, first.”

 

The Awoken looked around the debris field. They tapped the Ghost and motioned for it to follow. Together, the pair floated over to a ship. It was damaged, unlikely to hold any atmosphere. The Ghost scanned the closest door mechanics. A minute later, the door slid open without any noise. Inside, bodies of strange aliens and their weapons floated about.

 

Making their way to the cockpit, the Awoken and their new Ghost tried to pile the corpses. What ended up happening instead, but the bodies bouncing down the halls. They created a silent chaos. Some of the remains escaped through the door the Guardian and Ghost entered. At the cockpit, one alien was strapped down to a chair others floating about. The window was cracked.

 

“I don’t think we can make the surface in this” the Ghost warned.

 

“We’ll be fine” the Awoken responded. Speaking hurt. It was a task not preformed in eons. They shoved the aliens down the hall before settling in the pilot’s seat. Despite the alien controls, something deep in the Awoken focused on a few sets of controls in particular. Minutes passed before the ship, much like the Awoken, kicked back to life. Alarms began to go off as something began to weigh on the Awoken. Instead of floating out of the seat, something was keeping her planted in the chair. But the Ghost was floating just fine.

 

“Gravity generators are working again. The hull’s compromised everywhere but the bridge here. Bow’s hull integrity is only at 30 percent.” Even before the Ghost could issue a warning, the craft began to move towards Mars. “Wait, wait! We’re not going to survive atmosphere!”

 

“Yes we will.”

 

“How do you know? Ever worked a broken Fallen ship before?”

 

Was that what the aliens were called? The Awoken didn’t answer. Their focus was on working the craft towards their first destination.

 

“Do you remember what your name is” the Ghost asked some time later. It would take them a few days at the pace they were going. A few good days to get to know each other.

 

“Vivian” the Awoken answered. She reached for the badge in her pocket and pulled it out. “Just Vivian.”

 

“Was that in the ship with you? Do you know what it is?”

 

“It was with the gun. Don’t know what it is.”

 

The Ghost seemed to relax. A faint ripple of light emanated from its cracked shell as it moved closer to Vivian. It vanished in another small display of light.

 

“Should I know what this is” Vivian asked.

 

“Don’t worry about it.” The Ghost’s voice echoed in her head.

 

“I feel like I should know.”

 

“Don’t worry about it” they repeated.

 

Vivian huffed through her nose and pocketed the badge once more. She messed with the controls until a soft chime echoed between the blaring alarms. Switching off the outside audio in her cracked helmet, the Awoken Guardian relaxed in her chair and closed her eyes. Before long, her mind drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

_Flashes. Flashes of faces. A woman with a calm, almost cold expression. Another, smiling and reaching out. A man. First, sitting with the stars in the sky and green fields surrounding them. Another flash of the man, singing along with some kind of glass in his hand_ _with others_ _. More different faces. Then white. Blinding, aching white._

 

Vivian _. A woman’s voice. Strange enough yet achingly familiar. There was a hand reaching out. Vivian turned and saw nothing but darkness. She stood on what felt like a knife’s edge. A hand reached from the darkness. It tried to pull her back in it. Vivian forced the hand off as the hand from the light touched her shoulder._

 

_A city. A large wall, with a tower looming overhead._

 

Your new home _the voice from the light whispered_.

 

A lie _the voice from the darkness echoed. There, buildings among the floating rubble loomed. It felt more familiar to Vivian. A gem buried under her armor burned at her throat, along with the badge in her pocket._

 

You alone make the choice _the darkness boomed._

 

Pick a side _the light reverberated._

 

 

Before Vivian could choose, her eyes snapped open. Her Ghost floated before her face.

 

“You’re awake! We’re entering atmosphere. The ship’s falling apart! I told you this wasn’t going to work!”

 

She leaned forward, poked at buttons. Her eyes found a pair of throttles moments before her hands did. The air around them was starting to get warmer. Pulling both throttles, the ship lurched back. The window before them continued to crack as the air outside began to heat up. Armor and armaments blew off around them, burning up as they continued to descend. The further they went, the more the ground seemed to match the sky.

 

Red. Red everywhere. Buildings dotted the red landscape. Vivian tried to move the ship closer to what appeared to be a landing strip. But when the window rotated and began to show more of the sky, she forced it back forward.

 

“We’re going to crash” Vivian muttered.

 

“It’ll be okay.” Her Ghost blinked out of existence. Its voice continued in her mind. “Close your eyes.”

 

The ship impacted the blacktop, and exploded in a fireball. Vivian only felt a fraction of a second of pain. What seemed like a moment later, she was awake, laying in smoldering rubble. Her flesh burned. So did her armor.

 

Reddened skies above were dark. Stars gleamed overhead. The only light around came from the buildings tens of meters away.

 

Vivian pulled herself from the rubble. Cuts and gashes sustained on her legs in her escape healed in a minute. Her armor was even more burned, exposing further patches of pale blue flesh. She checked her gun, knife, and badge. None of it was damaged in the crash. Luckily.

 

“We need to find you some better gear” her Ghost said as it reappeared in a shimmering splash of light at shoulder height. “That stuff’s not gonna hold up.”

 

It...he? They were right. When she pulled the chest piece off, she could see the paint was flaking off. A different insignia, painted purple and yellow, was dingy and mostly gone. Something about it, deep inside her mind, ached at the sight. It was the only clues to whatever life Vivian had before all of this.

 

Her Ghost vanished as they approached the first building. Vivian used her knife to force one of the large doors open just enough so she could use her fingers. Using all her strength, her muscles strained. The door was slow to move. It groaned and whined. A noise rose up from inside and vanished just as quickly.

 

“We’re not alone.” Ghost’s words echoed in her mind. She nodded, pulled out her gun, and pointed it inside. A flash of light appeared next to her face. Her Ghost had reappeared. It was so bright that she couldn’t stare at it.

 

There was nothing inside. Vivian shook her head, holstered her gun. She closed the door again, and continued over to the next set of buildings. The search continued well into the next day. As the sun crept by overhead, she pulled another door open. One of dozens searched.

 

This time, however, there was a consolidation. A chest resided in the room. There was a dark singe on the floor. Leaning against the wall was some sort of rolled up material.

 

“Must be a cache” Ghost announced as it materialized. It scanned the emblem painted rather crudely on the wall facing the door. “Hunter cache. Should be a radio here somewhere.”

 

“Can I use the stuff?” Vivian refused to take a single step inside. If it was something meant for others, she would do best leaving it alone.

 

“Uh, yeah. Should be fine. We can explain it to the Hunter Vanguard when we get to the Tower.” Ghost continued to scan the objects inside of the room. “It was used a few days ago. The radio should still work. Come in.”

 

The Awoken took a breath before stepping inside. She closed the door behind herself, found a locking mechanism, and activated it.

 

Finally.

 

There was some semblance of safety and peace. For the last several hours, Vivian had been avoiding groups of aliens that were on patrol. _Cabal_ her Ghost called them. _You’re not ready to face them yet._

 

Reaching for the box residing on a crate, her touch seemed to light the screen up. With the turn of a notch, static picked up and echoed off the metal walls. Spinning the dial caused it to fade in and out until there was a patch of subtle silence. A quick scan of the box, and her Ghost sent her a message that seemed to reverberate in her teeth. _Vanguard channel. Speak now._

 

Vivian stammered before pressing the button on the smaller box in her hand.

 

“Uh, hello? I, uh...um...”

 

The sound of movement came on the other end. And then, a voice. Stern, cold.

 

“This is a restricted channel. State your purpose.”

 

“We just...crash landed here on...what is this, Mars? I’ve only been awake for a few days. Ghost here says we need to get to Earth. Is there any craft space capable ‘round here?”

 

Silence.

 

“I found my Guardian in the Reef. We’re trying to get to Earth...this _is_ the Vanguard channel, right?” It was her Ghost’s turn to step in. Yet, further silence.

 

“There is a shipyard five klicks southwest from your position. Are you capable of holding off Cabal patrols?”

 

“My armor’s seen better days” Vivian responded with an awkward chuckle. “Been avoiding them. I think it’s where we crashed.”

 

“Hmm...”

 

“What’s your name, kid?” Another voice chimed in. This one was smoother, slightly mechanical. Far friendlier to boot.

 

“Vivian.”

 

“’kay. V. There should be a flare gun somewhere where you’re camping. Go out to the rocks across from that shack, and fire the gun. Find a place to hide. Some of my people should be out there and can help out. Got it?”

 

“Yessir.” Vivian glanced around the room, peered through crates and boxes. Finally, she came across a small box with some sort of gun inside of it. The barrel was larger. Had to be a flare gun. She collected up the ammo and shoved it in the same pocket as her badge.

 

“Expect resistance” the voice from earlier warned, “there was a Fallen ship that crashed not far from your position. The Cabal are expecting a fight.”

 

“That was...us.” Her Ghost hovered near her shoulder. “Yeah. Probably us.”

 

“In any case, be on alert. Good luck.” There was a click on the line.

 

“Be careful, kid. Don’t get yourself killed too much, okay?”

 

“Uh, okay” Vivian replied. She and the voice on the other end shared a small chuckle before there was another click. After turning off the radio, the Awoken grabbed a small pack of food and water, unlocked the door, and slipped back outside.

 

Picking a spot out in the middle of nowhere, her Ghost vanished as they stood in the middle of the field of red earth. Vivian raised her hand, flare gun aimed at the sky, and pulled the trigger. The shot flew through the sky leaving behind a trail of smoke. It exploded in a ball of red light. The light continued to burn, red-tinted smoke trailing as it fell to the ground.

 

Soon as the shot fired, Vivian booked it back to the shack. She closed the door but didn’t lock it, planted herself in a corner, and waited. The relative silence outside shifted. Rumbling picked up. And with it, came strange alien voices.

 

One of them banged on the door to the shack. Vivian had been sitting in the corner, her gun pointed at the door. When the sound echoed through the room, she nearly fired her gun in surprise. Luckily, her finger gripped the trigger guard. She remained completely silent, in the darkness. Nothing tried to open the door. Heavy footsteps stomped by.

 

Then a shot echoed.

 

At first, Vivian thought she pulled the trigger on her gun by accident. But then chaos broke out just on the other side of the door. The sound of gunfire continued to pick up.

 

Was she really going to sit here, so hapless? Her heart was racing in her ears and chest. With a final swallow, she got up and moved to the door. Keeping her gun in one hand, she pulled out her knife with the other before opening the door.

 

Just around the corner of the small building was an alien. It was about her height, skinny, donned in armor. Whatever it was firing at came from the rocks across the way. Vivian held her breath as she snuck up behind the alien. Grabbing its head, she pulled it back behind cover and slit its throat so deep she could see bone. Blood splattered on her face and exposed skin. She dropped the corpse and rubbed the blood from her visor. Another of the aliens stepped around the corner and spotted her. It cried out in its foreign tongue and began to fire on her.

 

The first shot hit her exposed side. Vivian cried out and fired back on the alien. One of the two shots hit it in the head, exploding its helmet and skull before the rest of its body crumpled. But more of the aliens were approaching. These weren’t small aliens, either.

 

Just as tall as it was large, these aliens had guns nearly Vivian’s height in length and heads as small as her own. They fired on her as she retreated around the corner of the shack. Shots continued to pepper her exposed skin.

 

 _This was a bad idea_ she thought to herself. _So very very very…_

 

A gleam shone across from the shack. It had to be a thousand yards away, at least, hiding among the rocks. Was that who those voices on the radio were referencing? Was that her help?

 

One of the larger aliens bounded around the corner. It rose its boot as if to stomp on the smaller Guardian. A crackle of gunfire echoed. The alien’s head popped in a mist of gore and who knows what, and dropped to the ground.

 

This was her chance.

 

Vivian rose up on wounded legs. They were starting to heal, but the pain of her wounds was nearly enough to keep her planted to the ground. Biting back the pain, she began to run. There wasn’t enough mind power left to turn around and see the enemy. She could hear them, could hear their guns. A shot hit her in the shoulder. There was another shot that hit her in the back, burrowed through her armor, and burned into her spine that finally dropped her.

 

Feeling in her legs was gone. Feeling of the dirt against her exposed stomach was gone, too. Her fingers were numb, but she could still move her hands and arms. Her first instinct wasn’t to crawl, but to play dead. Play dead until the feeling returned. When the feeling would start with tingling in her toes and work its way up. And when the feeling returned, rise again and begin to sprint.

 

As she sprinted full-speed to the rocks, rounds whizzed by her head, arms, hit the red dirt around her, sending it up in the air. The Awoken’s first reaction when she crossed the red stone threshold was to roll to the side and into cover.

 

Now among the rocks, Vivian spotted another figure. They wore armor tinted brown and red. A hood covered their helmet and draped over their prone figure. Two more cracks echoed from the sniper rifle extended between two larger rocks. More of the rumbling sounds began to echo through the canyon.

 

Vivian turned back from whence she started. All the enemies were dead. Rushing toward them was another hooded figure. Their large, bloodied rifle swung over their shoulder with ease.

 

“We’ve gotta go” the approaching figure called out. “Now! They’re sending reinforcements!”

 

The other figure turned to Vivian and gave her a one over. Despite the individual being helmeted, she could feel their gaze boring holes into her armor. What was left of her armor, that is.

 

“Yeah.” The sniper stood up and swung their rifle around their shoulder. “ _This_ what we blew our cover for?”

 

“Cayde said there’d be someone out here. I figure this is who he meant” the other helmeted figure replied. “We don’t have time for this. Let’s just go.”

 

“Fine, fine. Whatever.” Sniper shrugged. Vivian kept silent during their exchange. Her Ghost shimmered into reality and floated around her head. It vanished a few moments later as the two armored individuals got up and began to hurry through the rocks. Doing her best to keep up, the Awoken hurried close behind.

 

The trio ran to the mouth of a cave. Overhead, red ships billowing black smoke descended upon their previous location. The rocks there shattered into small pieces as the ships’ guns opened fire. Rifle grabbed Vivian’s wrist and pulled her inside the cave.

 

Sniper was nowhere to be seen. Rifle’s and Vivian’s Ghosts both began illuminating the stone around them as they descended down a sort of path between jagged red rock. Deeper, deeper, deeper. The pressure made Vivian’s ears pop.

 

“Did you wake up here on Mars” Rifle asked as they finally found some sort of flat ground. They had since stopped pulling her along by her wrist.

 

“No. Woke up in space. Armor was in better shape than this, but...” Vivian knew what had once passed for armor must have looked like some sort of joke. Especially compared to how much better her new comrades’ armor appeared. Neither of them had any sort of crest similar to what she had seen on her own gear and armor, though.

 

“You mean the Reef? Damn. Thought he was kidding.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Cayde. You were talking to Commander Zavala and Cayde on the radio earlier.” Rifle stopped when they saw something flash in front of them. It was just Sniper’s Ghost also illuminating the cave around them.

 

She only nodded and continued following close. Eventually the darkness started giving way to light. Ahead of them was an opening. Red rock exposed the red Martian sky above, and a pair of ships already running, ready to go.

 

“I’ll fly you. Spark doesn’t seem too keen on you.” Rifle pointed over to a black and purple ship, angular, sleek.

 

Vivian stared at both ships for a few moments until Rifle vanished. She hurried over to the ship as her Ghost appeared.

 

“Hold on.” Before the Awoken could do anything, she felt like every bit of her being was pulled apart only to be put back moments later. No longer standing, either. It was a small room. Very dark, cramped, cold. But there was a long cushion here, along with another chair. It was the chair that she picked. The craft felt like it was starting to lift as she sat down and buckled herself in.

 

The ride from Mars to Earth was far more comfortable than the previous trip Vivian and her Ghost- Ripple, as she named it, had from the Reef to Mars. There was no fear of burning up in orbit. No lack of atmosphere. No dead aliens. But it was a short ride. Not one long enough to take a nap on.

 

Her ears popped again. They were descending. It wasn’t until the ship stilled save for its engines running that she unbuckled. Soon as she stood up, that feeling of being pulled apart and back together again happened.

 

Mars’ red skies were gone. Here, the sky was a light blue. White fluffs floated lazily by. To her back, a giant white orb hovered above a...a lot of buildings. The ground below her very feet was stone. But not red. It was a light grey. Steps before her ascended.

 

It was overwhelming. Vivian’s breath caught in her throat as she began to spin around in a small circle. Rifle grabbed her shoulder to still her. When she stopped, she saw Sniper- Spark?- conversing with someone several meters away. Or whom she thought to be such. The armor was the same but the helmet was gone. Gone and replaced with a robotic face. Shades of blue adorned the angular components that formed their face.

 

When Vivian turned to Rifle, she was stunned by them, too. Rifle’s helmet was also gone and replaced with a face. But not like Spark’s or her own. A softer face, made of flesh that seemed similar, yet different her own. Dark skin that seemed to gently glow in the light with piecing green eyes. A red streak accented those stunning green eyes.

 

“You alright” Rifle asked. The Awoken didn’t know how to respond. It felt like too much, too soon. Her throat burned where the gem resided. Rifle had to have noticed it, too, as he glanced down and began to reach for it. Before he could touch it, Vivian’s hand covered the orange gem. “It started glowing. What is it?”

 

“I don’t know.” The necklace was a comfort, whatever it meant. Something about it made her calm. It felt like a part of her dreams was here. “I-I don’t… I…”

 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Rifle’s hand moved to Vivian’s shoulder as he gave her a gentle squeeze. “I’m not gonna take it away. It’s gotta mean something to you, yeah? You’ll figure it out sooner or later.”

 

Too much. It was all too much. A few meters behind her was the railing, and the buildings below. It wasn’t a survivable drop.

 

 _Keep calm._ That rough feminine voice echoed in her head. The one whom usually reserved itself to within her dreams. _You’re safe here._

 

“Hey.” He shook Vivian’s shoulder. When she continued to stare out to the City, the grip on her shoulders tightened. “What’s wrong?”

 

_This is your home now. Focus on the Traveler. Steady your breath._

 

Electric blue eyes shifted from the railing up to the large orb floating in the sky. Something about it helped ease her frantic mind. Pain in her lungs began to ease as a breath escaped her lips.

 

“Let’s get you to the big man.” Rifle’s grip loosened as Vivian seemed to relax. He took her hand gently, led her up the steps. Over the grass, down more steps.

 

Here it was darker, cooler. There were fewer beings around. Some who glanced at her gave her dirty looks. Keeping closer to her newfound comrade, she matched his pace.

 

“I think it’s your armor” he muttered to her. “Don’t worry about them. Once you have some new duds you’ll blend in better.”

 

“What’s wrong with my armor” Vivian shot back.

 

“It’s in pieces. It looks awful.” His hand kept to her back, over the singed insignia that was still there, barely visible.

 

The small hallway opened up to a large room. Opposite the pair there was a set of large curved windows overlooking the wilds beyond. In the center of the room down yet another small flight of stairs was a large table. People worked at stations along the darkened elevated walls, hurried paperwork around. An armored trio stood, one on each side at the far end of the table. At once, they looked up at the new pair that had stepped in.

 

“Rueben, my man!” A member of the trio threw their hands in the air. Their voice was familiar- likely, the same one from the radio transmission. Another robotic type, with a black and red rood. When he spoke, yellow-orange light illuminated below blue metal that resembled a face. “Did you two find the new kid?”

 

“Yeah. Sparks is up talking to Banshee right now.” Rueben turned his head to Vivian, took her hand, and led her down the steps and towards the trio.

 

At their approach, the man standing at the shorter end of the table straightened up. His sharp blue eyes stared into Vivian’s own, and went over her armor. She couldn’t help but tense up. Her fingers dug into Rueben’s palm and her pace slowed.

 

“Hey hey, it’s okay,” the robotic man turned to the other. “Tone it down, big guy. You’re scaring ‘er.”

 

“Where were you resurrected” the larger man questioned. He had to have been the other one on the radio. His voice was as intimidating as he. Before Vivian could respond, her Ghost appeared in a blue shimmer of light and hovered close to her head.

 

“I found her in one of the Reef shipyards. One of the abandoned ones.”

 

“That explains the armor.” The third member of the trio spoke up. She was smaller, with beautiful rich brown skin, purple robes that only made her beauty greater. Books, scrolls, and papers gathered at her end of the table.

 

“What’s wrong with my armor” Vivian asked again, meeker.

 

“Ah, don’t worry about it” the robotic man replied before the larger man could. “Here, let me pull you up a seat.” He hurried up the stairs and began searching along the walls.

 

“How did you get to Mars?” The woman walked around the table and stood in front of Vivian. She offered a hand, which the Awoken took, and shook. The woman’s hand moved to the singed feathers and tatters of Vivian’s armor as the robotic man returned with a chair. He offered it to Vivian and she sat down in it.

 

“Found a ship. There were uh...what was it you called them” Vivian asked her Ghost.

 

“It was a Fallen landing craft. Damaged in a fight. Whole crew was dead when we got there. Against my better judgment,” her Ghost narrowed pieces of its shell over its lone ‘eye’, “we crash-landed on Mars using that.”

 

“And stirred the Cabal regiment stationed there” the larger man responded. He crossed his arms and shook his head. “You blew months of scouting operations with your little stunt, you two.”

 

Vivian fell silent. Her stomach felt like it was at her feet. The lights above their head felt too strong. Her eyes fluttered shut. Rueben’s hand reached out to her arm, then moved to her back.

 

Her mind went blank. The last thing she could remember was hands catching her as she collapsed out of the chair. What little strength she had was gone. Even after sleeping for what could have and most likely been centuries, Vivian was exhausted.


	2. Prognosticator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivian's first impression with the Vanguard wasn't the most preferred. Rueben and Sparks-12 help the Kinderguardian understand her new life as she reels from questionable sights and sounds in her dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter! It's not as long as the first (but really idk if I'll make chapters that long a norm.) Thank y'all for reading <3 <3 <3 <3

Voices. There were voices talking on top of one another. Dozens, hundreds. They spoke to Vivian in her sleep.

 

_Rise._ One singular voice, sharp, feminine, boomed over the others.

 

Vivian sat up from her dead sleep. It scared the pair sitting on cushions next to her. At first, their faces were unrecognizable.

 

Rueben shifted from his cross-leg sitting position to his knees. He offered the Awoken a bowl of fruit.

 

She stared at it. Stared for what felt like eternity. Within her mind it felt like doors were closing, walls were getting smaller.

 

“Eat” the other figure said as they shifted on their own cushion. “You passed out in front of the Vanguard. Nice first impression.”

 

“I didn’t mean...to” Vivian muttered as she took a couple of the smaller fruits. After a few sniffs, she slipped one into her mouth.

 

Spark crossed his arms over his chest. His pale yellow eyes seemed to bore holes into the Awoken’s forehead.

 

“’ey man, chill out” Rueben replied. Brows began to furrow together. “It was probably rough trying to get from the Reef to Mars without a jump drive. Had to take a few weeks.”

 

Out there, time meant nothing. It meant nothing to her, nor her Ghost. The lack of life was oddly calming. Much better than being shot at. Not something to brag about.

 

Sparks-12 shrugged but didn’t relax his arms. He continued to glare holes into Vivian even when Rueben elbowed his shoulder.

 

“We never properly introduced.” Rueben’s expression softened when his gaze turned to Vivian. “I’m Rueben. This friendly Exo is Sparks-12.” When he turned to Spark, his fellow’s expression softened only a little.

 

“Vivian” the Awoken replied between bites of a bright orange fruit. The tanginess of the fruit itself was pleasing. Much more than the smaller fruits.

 

Her eyes drifted from the pair. The cot she was residing was soft, with even softer blankets and pillows in different shades of blue. The window directly to her left washed the room in blue-white light from that large orb in the sky. Orange hues emanated from smaller light sources in the room and lit up banners hung on every wall.

 

Without much thought, her hand went to the gem at her throat. It felt warm. If she were to focus hard enough it felt like it was pulsing. Her gaze was pulled down to her own chest. Instead of patchy, burnt armor, a simple grey shirt covered her torso.

 

Hazy calm was replaced with panic in her heart. Vivian nearly jumped out of the bed and bolted for one of the doors in the room. Rueben and Spark grabbed her, pulled her back into bed.

 

“What’s wrong” Rueben asked.

 

“My armor. Where is my armor?” She wanted the badge and knife hidden in her armor. That combined with the choker around her neck were the only things that hinted at any sort of past she might’ve had.

 

“Commander Zavala said he was going to discard it” Spark replied. “Why? It’s burned and shot to hell. It won’t do you any good.”

 

“There was something in it. M-my knife...my...” Vivian’s words drifted as tears welled in her eyes. She struggled to get up again, struggled against the pair. Rueben in particular kept her planted. He turned to Spark, who got up and left the room.

 

“He’s gonna go see what he can do, okay? Calm down.” Keeping a firm grip on the woman, he shifted to sit down at the edge of the bed. “You were talking in your sleep. You know you do that?”

 

The smaller Awoken nearly stared into his dark eyes. What had she said? There had been so many voices, so many hands grabbing and tugging every which way.

 

“So, uh, Vivian...” Rueben loosened his grip on Vivian. “Did your Ghost tell you anything about us Guardians?” The question made her turn her head. Ripple appeared in that moment and began to float lazily around the room.

 

“I figured the Vanguard would explain it to her better” they replied as they floated by Rueben’s head. The Hunter shook his head and shifted his legs so he was sitting back on the cushion once more.

 

He explained the three classes, and how their Light formed in different ways. From scorching heat, to numbing, isolating void, to electrifying arc. Each class was further divided by whichever of these three elementals one preferred to use.

 

Titans: strong defenders and terrifying when on the offensive. Most would prefer to find more physical solutions when destroying their targets.

 

Warlocks: cunning, intelligent nearly to a fault. The Tower’s scholars. With their knowledge came incredible power.

 

Hunters: the best, according to Rueben. On the forefront because the stuffiness of the Tower was usually too suffocating. Trailblazers.

 

“Usually you can tell by the Light inside someone” he continued, “but everyone’s sort of...stumped, with you. Apparently it’s harder in general to pick it up in Reefborn.”

 

“Reefborn” Vivian questioned.

 

“Reefborn Awoken. It’s clear in your last life you lived out there. Your old armor screamed ‘hey, I’m a spy!’”

 

“Is that why everyone hates me?”

 

“Hates you?” Rueben shook his head. “No, no. No one hates you.”

 

“Clearly Sparks isn’t too fond of me” she muttered back. Her eyes drifted away from the Hunter to the dark skies above. The more she focused, the more she could feel the pulse in the gem at her neck. The more she focused, the doors in her mind began to open-

 

Something hit the back of Vivian’s head. She turned in an instant and found the badge resting on one of the pillows. Along with two more figures in the room. Spark had returned, and he brought the other Exo from earlier.

 

“’ey kid. Feelin’ better yet?”

 

Spark sat down in a chair in the corner of the room. It was clear he still didn’t want to be anywhere near the Awoken. But the other Exo sat down next to Rueben, plucked the smaller fruits off the platter on the cot, and carefully rolled them in his fingers.

 

“I don’t know.” Vivian still felt weak. Her stomach hurt. She had forgotten about the platter next to her, and despite the hunger she felt, she didn’t want to eat any of it.

 

“Gotta eat to feel better. I know the whole ‘come back again and again’ thing is probably new to you, but, you’d never believe this. You can still starve to death.” The Exo popped a few of the small fruits into his mouth.

 

Rueben leaned over and picked up a shiny red fruit. He used a knife strapped to his side to cut it into pieces before offering it to the Awoken. Vivian took the pieces and, one by one, ate them slowly. This Exo was friendlier than Sparks, by far. She almost liked him.

 

_What if his kindness is just a mask?_

 

_You’ll never make friends doubting everyone’s kindness._

 

“She always drift off like that” the Exo asked Rueben. He merely nodded and let out a sigh.

 

But while Vivian stared at the end of the cot, she focused on those mental doors. Her mental self worked to pry at least one open. Reality was a lower priority. Until the Exo grabbed her shoulder. The Awoken reacted by smashing her elbow into his neck, sending the poor man tumbling.

 

Spark jumped to his feet as the Exo nearly flew back. But a raised hand, along with awkward laughs intermingled with coughs stopped his movements.

 

“Uh...yeah...don’t-don’t do that, you two.”

 

Rueben snorted before hiding his face behind his hand. He turned to Vivian and gave her a quick thumb up. Spark on the other hand simply continued to glare at Vivian. He stepped outside of the room and slammed the door on the way out.

 

“I’m sorry” Vivian whispered. Turning her head, her eyes locked unto the ball in the sky. She shifted to her side, laid down in the cot, pulled up the blanket to her shoulders. The Exo let out a quiet sigh before waving Rueben out of the room. Once he was gone, and it was just the two of them, the Exo spoke again,

 

“What’s on your mind?”

 

Silence.

 

“Don’t have to yell.”

 

A small smile crossed her lips. Turning to face him, the smile vanished.

 

“Dreams.”

 

“Those’re normal. We all get ‘em.”

 

“First dreams had faces. Second was of...some city, and somewhere where I came from. Third...it was just voices. Lots of voices, overlapping each other.”

 

The Exo fell silent. His gaze turned from Vivian to the edge of the bed. Arms crossed over his chest, he leaned back a little, leaned forward, then straightened up.

 

“We won’t know much just from that. Keep a journal, write down what you see.”

 

The pair fell into silence once more. The Awoken’s eyes slowly fluttered shut. She was about to drift off to sleep when-

 

“Vivian, right?”

 

Vivian’s eyes remained shut. She made a soft noise of agreement. Shoulder tried to bury against the cot, but found resistance in the frame beneath the mattress.

 

“I’m Cayde.” When he didn’t get a reply, he shifted on the cushion again. “If you have a problem, my office is always open.”

 

“Your office” she asked in a slightly slurred tone. Sitting back up in bed now despite not having any energy, the Awoken stared at Cayde with a raised brow. “It didn’t seem like you had one back there.”

 

“Shared office.”

 

“Ahh.” Taking a breath, Vivian swung her legs out from under the blankets. Skin prickling against the cooler air, a shiver rose from her knees up her back as her feet touched the floor. Cayde stood up at once and offered her a hand. He held her arm as she stood up on shaking knees. Despite being gloved, heat radiated through his palms and fingers, almost warming her to her core.

 

“Where to” he asked. Vivian could have sworn it looked like he was smiling.

 

“Surprise me.”

 

Cayde nodded before carefully leading the shorter Awoken to the door. She stopped at a mirror when she caught their reflections. Fingers reached to her darkened forehead and tried to rub away at what seemed like _ash._ Ash that was the thickest at her hairline and thinned out just at her eyes. It manifested on her lips, too.

 

“No,” his voice was half stern, other half a stifled laugh. “Stop that. It’s not coming off.”

 

Vivian could see herself frown. Sharp, electric blue eyes turned to Cayde’s reflection. _What if I don’t want them_ , her glance expressed. Her stare broke as he continued to lead her out of the room, down a short hall, out to a larger open space.

 

Rueben was cleaning his rifle at the table. Sparks was watching something on a screen attached to the wall across from the large, cushioned seat he resided.

 

“You’re not supposed to be up yet” Rueben called out as he set down his tools. Before he could approach, Cayde’s free hand motioned for him to sit.

 

“Gets boring staring at the Traveler. Spark, move over, let ‘er watch a movie with you or something.”

 

Sparks gave the pair a look, then turned to Rueben. Rueben, in turn, shrugged before moving to the kitchen. Sparks moved from the middle of the large seat to one of the ends as Vivian and Cayde both sat down together. Vivian sat in between the two Exos and stared at the moving pictures before her.

 

She didn’t understand the plot. Didn’t understand the jokes Cayde and Spark laughed at. There was more entertainment watching the pair at each side. Rueben startled the Awoken when he dropped a bowl of some kind of snack unto her lap before joining them on another chair. Vivian stared as Cayde grabbed a handful of the stuff and shoved it in his mouth.

 

The man didn’t seem to mind the rude gesture. He merely pointed to the bowl in her lap which was now being invaded by one of Spark’s hands. Picking up a few of the strange, almost puffy pieces, Vivian slipped one past her lips and let it sit in her mouth. The Flavor wasn’t that bad. A little salty, with something else. It was hard to describe.

 

“Good, isn’t it” Cayde whispered towards her right ear. She nodded and began to eat the remaining pieces in her hand.

 

As the movie, as Rueben called it, wrapped up, her eyes were struggling to stay open. Spark took offense when Vivian started leaning towards him. A hand pulled her the opposite way. Shoulder pressed against light armor and her head found Cayde’s shoulder. Was it normal to feel this tired?

 

_You feel safe_ Ripple assured their Guardian inside her mind. _Get some sleep. From the sound of it, you’ll be heading off on your first mission soon._

 

_Mission_ Vivian wondered. Ripple began to explain. The words were too difficult to understand. There were simply _too many_ for her mind to bear at the moment. As lids fluttered shut over sharp, electric blue eyes, the last sounds she heard were the laughter of her companions.

 

_Your friends_ that other voice commented. It was different from Ripple. It vied for the last drops of her concentration. Ripple seemed concern.

 

* * *

 

 

_Red sky. Redder than Mars. Ground below Vivian’s boots was a grey-blue. There were puddles around her that were as red as the sky. That sickly, sickly hue. Something about it made her stomach drop to her feet._

 

_Then the birds. Hundreds,_ thousands _of them. They were led by a singular bird, more elegant than all the others. It was almost like its white feathers fought off the red sky itself._

 

_Suddenly, they started dropping from the sky. Something clipped their wings. The poor creatures died on impact. Some hit Vivian. Their cries echoed through the valley._

 

_It was chaos. Sheer, unadulterated chaos._

 

_The white bird was hit. It dropped from the sky, but vanished before Vivian could see it hit the ground. The grey-blue stone with its puddles was being dyed the same shade of red as the sky. Bird remains littered the ground, their blood and gore staining the stone, her armor._

 

_When her eyes returned to the sky, only a_ _fraction_ _of the birds remained. But they were scattered, flying every which way but the way they had been going._

 

_Eyes returned to the ground. There was a search for survivors. There were a few birds who hadn’t lost their wings but passed from the impact of their comrades. A few died in Vivian’s arms._

 

_It hurt to cry. A struggle to keep her sobs controlled._ _Such loss made her heart ache, breath catch in her throat._

 

_One crow was on the ground. It flapped its broken wings against the stained rock, its cries echoing out against the stone. Vivian had to take her time to avoid stepping on remains. She picked the bird up and held it close to her chest. The poor creature continued to flap its injured wings. Clawed feet scratched at her arms, chest, helmet. If it weren’t for her armor her blood would add to the field surrounding._

 

_No amount of pleads could calm the poor bird. Its continued fight for freedom caused one wing to fall off. As the creature bled out in her arms, it finally calmed down. Vivian held it close, whispering words unknown._ _Whatever she said seemed to calm it. Or it could’ve been its wounds._

 

_Either way, it passed in her arms. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed. Shaking arms held the bird close to her chest staining her pale hands and armor with blood._

 

Vivian jolted awake. Breaths arrived in waves of gasps as sharp eyes glanced about the room in panic. Before anyone could catch her, she was on her feet, hurrying to the kitchen, towards the sink and faucet. Her hand reached out and turned the water on full blast. But her movements eased when her eyes saw her hands.

 

Clean. Dry. Not like the dream.

 

This wasn’t the dream.

 

Rueben was the first to approach. He turned the water off, then put his hands on her shoulders, grip tightening when the shorter Awoken didn’t lash out.

 

“Vivian? You there?”

 

“Dream” she rasped. Her head turned to him. Tears welled in her eyes as she bit back a quiet sob. The Hunter pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her.

 

Sparks got up from his spot on the couch. A few moments of searching procured several pages of paper with a box of colored pencils. He set them down at the kitchen’s island.

 

“Doesn’t sound like a dream” he remarked while pulling a bar stool over. Rueben glanced at Spark, then to Cayde, who was only now getting up to join them.

 

Vivian sat down in the chair offered to her and looked through tears at the pencils. It was hard to color the page as red as she saw. It wasn’t the right shade. Instead she bit into her index finger and used the blood to color the sky. Much to the dismay of the others.

 

The first image was the sky and ground. For the puddles the Awoken used her bleeding finger to fill in lighter areas.

 

Second was the birds. There had been so many. To sketch out the true number was difficult. The only one she made an effort to look vaguely birdlike was the white one. It was further ahead than the others.

 

“They started falling from the sky. Something was cutting their wings off up there. They died when they started hitting the ground.”

 

Rueben stared at the images. One hand rested on his chin while the other rested under his elbow. Cayde picked up the first image once the stain was dry.

 

“What could it mean, boss” Spark asked out loud. “You work with Awoken more than us. They have bad dreams like this?”

 

“That white bird.” Cayde set down the first paper and picked up the second. He grimaced a little when Vivian bit more into her finger to smear more blood on a third. “Was there anything special with it?”

 

“It fell, too. Didn’t see it hit the ground.”

 

“Anything else?”

 

Silence.

 

“It seemed to glow. When I saw it fall I wanted to cry.”

 

“Huh. Hey, stop. We get it, V.” The Exo tried to grab her hand.

 

“No, you don’t.” Vivian looked up to Cayde when he touched her. Her tears had stopped but still wet her cheeks. “There was blood _everywhere_. Everywhere.”

 

“We get it. A bloodbath.”

 

“It felt _real._ ”

 

“I don’t want her on my team” Sparks interrupted. “Nope. No way in hell, chief. If someone’s getting visions like these I want no parts of it.”

 

“Spark” Rueben sighed. He turned to his comrade, “that’s not nice. It could be just a nightmare. Or it could be something from her first life. Right, boss?”

 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah.” Cayde turned from the pages now to the source of the images. “You don’t mind me taking these for a little? Wanna run it by Ikora. Make sure nothing fishy’s going on.”

 

“There was one bird that lived.” Vivian lowered her eyes. “It died in my arms after trying to fight back. I woke up after that.”

 

“ _Boss_ ” Sparks hissed.

 

“Hush it Sparky.” Cayde collected the rest of the pages up and tucked them under his arm. “Rue, I’ll swing by with your team’s assignment soon. K, bud?”

 

“’Course” Rueben nodded and led the Vanguard to the door. Cayde nodded and vanished as soon as he crossed the threshold.

 

Silence befell the trio. Spark grabbed the remaining, clean pages and pencils off the island before storming off to another room. Vivian glanced up as he stomped off, then back to her hands.

 

“Maybe I would do better alone.”

 

“Don’t mind him. He’s not one for premonitions.” Rueben began to move around. A few minutes of scrounging produced a couple containers of food. “His first team was Awoken. He doesn’t talk much about ‘em.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Well, what I could get from ‘im was that they predicted their own deaths. Sacrificed themselves so he could relay intel back to the Tower.”

 

“So we can die” Vivian asked. Her eyes shifted from her hands as Rueben continued to work around her. “Like die-die.”

 

“It takes a lot, but yeah. If your Ghost dies, you become mortal. You die then...you’re done. Finished. End of the road.”

 

Good to know. The Awoken stared at the bowl Rueben set down before her, and to its contents. It was hot with steam wafting off of it. Eyes moved from the bowl over to the pair of sticks he handed to her.

 

“Here. It’s called Ramen. You’ll love it. Let me show you how to eat it with chopsticks.”


	3. The World Ended Before You Got Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What would it be like going through a low-level mission with friends who're twice the recommended level? Vivian goes on her first op with her team. As is her luck, it's never as easy as that. Luckily it isn't Rueben's nor Spark's first rodeo.

Rueben, Sparks-12, and Vivian walked together through the Cosmodrome’s early morning. Fresh snow fell the night prior, blanketing hills, paths, and wrecks in a layer of white powder. The gentlest breeze tossed sheets of white up into the air. These sheets shimmered and glowed in orange sunlight.

 

 _A simple job_ Cayde had explained to the trio. Vivian was far too green for anything more than just scouting the typical groups of Fallen that occupied the area and thinning out their numbers. If things were to go south Rueben and Spark could handle it out here.

 

Sitting atop one of the ancient long-grounded aircraft, Sparks watched a group of Dregs standing around a Fallen crate. A couple of Vandals stood on each end of the group with rifles at the ready.

 

Rueben and Vivian hid behind nearby rusted-out containers with their own weapons at the ready. The Awoken gripped her scout rifle so tight her fingers were beginning to hurt. The Human, his hand cannon. Another gust of wind blew in over the small valley. As clouds of snow kicked up, Spark’s sniper crackled once, twice. Chattering above them were the surviving Fallen as they retreated to better cover.

 

“Now. Let’s go.” Rueben’s voice filled Vivian’s ears. He was the first to move out from cover. Two more cracks echoed through the air over their heads. Vivian raised her rifle as Rueben was already firing off the first shots of his hand cannon. Each of his shots popped another Fallen’s head. The first shot Vivian fired missed her target. Two others hit its chest as one of Rueben’s shots found its mark in the alien’s skull.

 

Battle cries echoed through the valley. A distorted noise over their heads as one of the aliens’ craft dropped down seemingly out of nowhere. Its turret opened fire on the sniper atop the aircraft.

 

“You good back there” Rueben called out over comms.

 

“Never better” Spark replied. The ship’s fire continued to follow the Exo while he rolled off his spot. There was a sound of impact with the ground and brush. “Never fucking better.”

 

Vivian was distracted. She didn’t see the larger alien charge her until it was on top of her. It raised its dual blades and struck at the smaller Guardian. Her gun was knocked from her hand as she fell to the snow. If it weren’t for her new armor she would’ve lost her head. But with popped shields the alien only had to stab her to finish the job.

 

A fire burned deep inside the Awoken. As she dodged the strike from the larger alien, Rueben was opening fire at its head in an attempt to pop its shields.

 

Vivian made an awkward roll back and got to her feet. The fire inside of her chest exploded out. Her vision was on the aliens, her anger tunneling her sight. She ran forward, flaming hammers in hand. As the first one flew from her hand, another one materialized.

 

“I thought they said she’s a Hunter” Spark yelled over the mic. “Fucking Reefborn!”

 

Rueben was laughing so hard he couldn’t shoot at the aliens. Not like he needed to- Vivian was wiping them out for him. Once the flames that consumed the small Awoken extinguished, the hammers gone, he looked at the scorched earth around them. And began to howl in laughter.

 

“What? What’s wrong?” Vivian approached Rueben. She offered her hand to him as he rolled on the ground. The frown might’ve been invisible behind the visor but it was prevalent in her voice. “What is wrong?”

 

“H-hold on...wait….” Rueben held his hands up in a surrender. Pushing down his laughter was proving to be a more difficult task. Activating the link between themselves and the Vanguard, Rueben was still fighting back his laughs. “Boss, you said Vi’s a Hunter, right?”

 

“We figured, why?” Cayde’s voice came over their helmets’ speakers. “She really a Fallen?” The joke hit Rueben as he starting laughing again.

 

“Ah, n-no...no...c-can a Hunter hurl hammers? O-or is this something new?”

 

Vivian’s shoulders remained stiffened. Her body felt warm to begin with, but her cheeks felt like they were going to combust from the embarrassment. Gripping her recollected rifle, she stomped away from them and turned off her comm link. It wasn’t like Spark hated her existence already. Now Rueben was laughing at her?

 

The young Guardian found herself across the valley from her team. She got too frustrated trying to aim at a Dreg so she challenged the alien to a knife fight. The pair danced around each other. Blades collided causing sparks. Vivian swept the alien’s legs out from underneath itself before plunging her blade between its eyes.

 

“Vivian” Ripple asked in her helmet. “Don’t be upset. He wasn’t laughing at you.”

 

“Then what was he laughing at, huh? I wasn’t laughing!” She stabbed the Dreg several times before getting up on her feet. The other Dregs around her opened fire. Grabbing the fallen creature’s knife, she hurled it at the nearest one. It found its target in the Dreg’s head.

 

“He was laughing at how fast you were murdering those Fallen back there.”

 

“Bullshit.” Swapping to her sidearm, Vivian hit two more Dregs in the chest. The shots didn’t kill them outright. They only seemed to get angrier. The rest of her magazine finally dropped the pair.

 

“Rueben wants to talk.”

 

“ _I_ don’t. Keep the comms off.” More ships were dropping down at Rueben’s and Sparks’ location. A pop echoed over the hills. More pops followed what looked like thin beams of solar that bounced off the environment.

 

Vivian jogged up a ramp towards a large building. There were more Fallen here, too. The damn place was littered with them. Returning to her rifle, she got down on a knee before popping two Vandals in their head.

 

“Cayde wants to talk to you.”

 

“I’d rather be left alone.”

 

“That’s not happening, kid.” Cayde’s voice filled her helmet. “Don’t worry. It’s just the two of us.”

 

“I’d rather-”

 

“You’d rather mope around, I know. You can get back to that after this, I promise.” Cayde took the relative silence, save for gunfire, as an invite for continuation. “So what if you’re not a Hunter? You’re a Titan, so what?”

 

“Everyone was saying what I was...”

 

“Doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. That already happened before you got here.” He waited for an objection before continuing. “You’re still new at this. Think of yourself as some dough. Nice, gently glowing blue dough. Stored in the back of the fridge for a while. You can mold it however you want before it’s put in the oven. Doesn’t mean it’s going to turn out the shape you want.”

 

Vivian ran at a Captain, its shields gone. It dashed at her, blades ready, thirsty to spill blood. She let one run through her lower abdomen. Using the opportunity, she stabbed the offending hand, grabbed the blade, and took several steps back. Removing it from her torso, she lunged at the alien. Its regenerating shields popped on impact. She stabbed it twice in the head, once in the neck severing the head from the body, then several times in the chest. By the time she was done, her blood mixed with its own in the snow. Ripple appeared and used their Light to heal the would-be fatal wound.

 

“Sounds like you’re having a blast out there.”

 

“Yeah, yeah...” She hadn’t realized just how much of the area she could see from up here. Her eyes spotted Rueben and Sparks making their way over to her on foot. Just what she wanted.

 

“Just because you’re different than others, it doesn’t mean you have to be rude to them” Cayde continued. “I’ll have a conversation with Spark when you guys get back. In the meantime, please don’t kill each other, okay?”

 

“Understood, boss” Vivian replied. She still held the Captain’s bloodied blade in her hand. It felt like the energy had been taken from her form. All she wanted to do was get some sleep. Two clicks echoed in her ear.

 

“Vivi” Rueben called out. “Good thing you bailed when you did. Damned Fallen.” The pair hurried up the ramp towards their teammate. Something about the nickname made the hair on the back of her neck bristle.

 

Spark stopped several paces from the Awoken. His helmet angled at the Captain’s remains, the blood mixing and pooling on the ground.

 

“Geez, what’d you do?!” Rueben stepped closer to Vivian than Spark but still kept a couple paces away. “You get in a sword fight with the guy?”

 

“Maybe.” Vivian spun the sword around her hand. Droplets of mixed blood sprinkled around in the snow. “Won against one of the smaller ones. Won against him, too.” The blade stopped long enough to point at the Captain on the ground.

 

“Clearly” Spark’s voice chirped in. He remained at a distance. “Rue, what’s our next job?”

 

“Boss says we have t’go turn on some satellites. Clear the area for the techs, at least.” Rueben offered his hand to Vivian. “Includes you, Vi.”

 

 _Does it_ she wanted to ask him. They could handle themselves better out here without her.

 

 _You will never grow inside the Tower_. That voice again. It wasn’t Ripple. But it was so familiar, so...calming.

 

 _Everyone starts somewhere. You will grow beyond_ _their potential_ _soon. Let them be your stepping stones._

 

“Vi? ‘ey you there? Hello?” Rueben took hold of Vivian’s shoulder and gently began to shake her. The Awoken simply stared forward, seemingly frozen. When she moved her head he swore she would stab him. But it never happened.

 

“Okay” was her only response. Quiet, calm. Whatever these little episodes were, Rueben hoped they wouldn’t occur during battle. Something to talk to the Vanguard about, he figured.

 

Together, the trio stepped into the large building. It was a shortcut, Rueben explained. Most Guardians around here use the building to get to another area. As the light gave way to dark, each of their Ghosts illuminated the hall.

 

Inside, the building looked worse for wear. There was gore of some variety creeping along the edges, up the walls in pillars. Vivian reached out and touched it. Parts felt hard as bone while others were almost slimy.

 

“Ew...”

 

“Yeah it’s a little gross. Don’t touch it.” Spark nearly slapped Vivian when she turned to him to wipe her hand on his cloak. “Don’t touch me with it! Fuck off!”

 

“ _Children_ , come on” Rueben groaned. “I hate running through here.”

 

Traversing deeper, halls gave way to a large room. The pillars that held up the roof were covered in the same strange gore. Eggs of some sort resided around these pillars, in the corners, against the walls. Rueben and Spark readied their weapons. Vivian readied the sword she was still carrying.

 

“Vi, we could use your super again about...” Rueben fell silent. Something was approaching, fast. It was scraping against metal, shrieking, screaming. “Now.”

 

Vivian concentrated on the fire pooled in her chest. It pushed outwards, enveloping her and her armor. Hammers formed in her hands as the first sign of movement appeared.

 

Horrid, eyeless, grey beings were running straight at them. Some stumbled while they charged the Guardians head-on. Vivian threw the first hammer and turned the group of hostiles to ash. The flames were just enough to light more of the room. Two more hammers silenced two more groups as green eyes appeared at the edges of the room.

 

A larger creature with three eyes stomped toward them. It fired a shot at Vivian. The flames surrounding her protected her from the impact as she threw her remaining hammers at it.

 

Rueben and Sparks fired at the enemies hiding just outside of the edges of the light from their Ghosts as yet another wave of the eyeless ghouls swarmed from the front. Fire extinguished, Vivian used the sword. But as they surrounded and used her claws on her shields, Spark turned his shotgun on them.

 

Eventually, the room fell silent. The trio stopped for a moment to catch their breath. Vivian looked to the blade in her hand and groaned at its condition. The blade was chipped and ready to snap if she used it again. A shame, really. She discarded it by throwing it against the wall and watching the blade snap in half. The sound caused Spark to nearly jump out of his armor, weapon at the ready.

 

“Easy, easy. Nothin’s there” Rueben muttered. His hand touched Spark’s leg and coached him back to sitting down.

 

For a while, they remained in the dark. Before long, Rueben ushered the others to their feet to continue through the halls. He explained the creatures to Vivian.

 

The Hive. Terrible, disgusting creatures that infected places like a disease. They came from somewhere. Luna was infected with them. One day they would have ops up there, when she was more adept with her own capabilities.

 

Eventually fighting through to the back end of the building, the Guardians stepped out to another open area. There was Hive here fighting against the Fallen. They used the small battle ensuing to quickly run to the opposite building.

 

“We’re almost there” Rueben reassured them as they stepped through the threshold. After taking out the Fallen residing in the first few rooms, they traversed deeper and deeper. Pockets of Fallen were strewn in the halls, the rooms, every step of their way. Spark hung at the rear and used his sniper to take out the larger hostiles while Rueben and Vivian used their small arms to take out the rest.

 

Through another door, the light of the sun graced them. There were a couple dozen Fallen scattered about. Before anyone could say anything, Spark hurried ahead. In an instant, arc energy enveloped him, concentrating into the form of two blades in his hands. Like lightning itself, he dashed from one group to another, to another, wiping them out in intricate twirls and spins. Rueben and Vivian did their best to watch his six, taking out any survivors of the assault. As the arc energy left his form, Spark was hit by two sniper rounds. He fell to the ground. Part of his helmet was gone and exposed internals that one would compare to brain matter.

 

“Spark” Rueben called out. He swapped from his cannon to a pulse rifle. Aiming at one of the snipers, the other shot his arm. The shot popped his shields and threw his aim off. Vivian raised her rifle and fired at the snipers. First two shots missed, but the third hit one of the creatures in the neck. The other sniper shot at her as she turned to it. Its shot burrowed through shields, armor, flesh and bone and bore its way through her shoulder.

 

The Awoken cried out and fell to the ground. Rueben grabbed her good shoulder and pulled her behind cover. He picked up Vivian’s weapon and fired at the remaining sniper, killing it in a storm of bullets. Now that they were alone, he turned his attention to Spark’s Ghost, who was floating above his teammate. On approach, the Ghost emitted a flash of light. The moment Spark sat up, his helmet was repaired. Whatever internals were damaged had to be, as well.

 

“You good, brother” Rueben asked as the pair embraced. Spark made a quiet noise before looking around.

 

“Did the Awoken see…?”

 

“Yeah. She got hit, too, though.” The taller Hunter chuckled when the other let out a groan. “Don’t feel bad. Bastards were trying to cloak ‘emselves.”

 

“A good spot, though” Spark replied quietly. The pair both got to their feet. With Rueben in the lead, they followed the small stream of blood back to where Rueben left Vivian. Her shoulder was healed, but she was still as death.

 

“Vi? Dammit, not again- Vivian! Hey! Come on, not now!” Rueben got down on his knees and began to shake her.

 

“Reefborn, what can I say?” Spark shrugged before turning towards the sniper nest. “Never rely on ‘em, Rue.”

 

 _They don’t care_ Vivian repeated to herself in her mind. _They don’t care…_

 

 _If they didn’t, you would have bled out in the open._ That voice spoke to her again.

 

_I want to go home._

 

_What is home to you?_

 

 _The Reef._ _Those people. My family..._

 

Sunlight hit her face. It ripped her violently from her thoughts. Vivian was too distorted from the sudden, bright light to fight it at first. Her hands reached for the moving shape as her eyes adjusted.

 

“Come on. It’s not time for your zone out episodes.” Rueben kept her helmet just out of her reach. “Back to reality.”

 

“Sorry.” Vivian’s voice was low. She blinked several times. Where the round had burrowed and left a gaping wound was healed, armor patched, pain waning. When it seemed she was truly back with them, Rueben slipped her helmet back over her head. Together, the pair hurried inside what seemed like a modified hangar. There was one set of consoles in the rear. Skeletons still sat at their stations. Rueben was careful not to disturb them too much as he summoned his Ghost and let it tinker with the console.

 

“You’re in for a treat” his Ghost chirped in a friendly, upbeat, more feminine voice. Loud metallic grinding echoed from outside as a metal tower rose into the air. Like a flower, three arms opened wide, revealing it to be a massive satellite. “The Hive heard that. They’re a little mad!”

 

“’ight. Sparks, hostiles inbound” Rueben barked into the comms. “Vi, how’s your super lookin’? We’re prob’ly gonna need it.”

 

“Not ready. Doesn’t feel ready.”

 

“Right. We’re gonna go with plan...” he swapped his cannon for something much larger. “R.” Silence befell the comms as he stepped out towards the arriving Fallen craft.

 

“The R is for rockets, guys. Come on, give me something.”

 

“Ha. Ha. Ha” Spark dryly replied.

 

“Alright, shut the fuck up and kill some bastards already.”

 

Vivian concentrated to her hand. A ball of fire formed. As the first group dropped in, she chucked it at the center of the group. A few moments of clinging to an enemy Acolyte, it detonated, exploding fire and flames, killing the rest of the group.

 

Rueben fired a rocket at the second group. It killed the Thrall and Acolytes but crippled the Knight. Spark finished it off with a single shot from his sniper.

 

The second ship to appear brought more Thrall. Rueben threw his own grenade towards the group and continued to fire at the remaining stragglers once it detonated. As the second ship’s payload dropped, he fired another rocket into the group, wiping them out before the ship was gone. A third ship appeared as more Hive rushed in from all sides.

 

Rueben saw the Knight that dropped down. It was larger than a standard Knight. One of the teams’ Ghosts had marked it as a stronger foe. He slapped his launcher behind his back and reached into the sky. In a spark of Light, a golden gun appeared in his hand. Aiming at the Knight, he fired all three rounds into the creature. The ricocheting rounds hit some of the nearby Thrall and Acolytes.

 

Spark took out most of the remaining Thrall. Vivian used her sidearm and took out the rest of the Acolytes hiding in the area.

 

“Rue, over here” his Ghost called out. Spark dropped from his hiding place and joined the pair as they approached the console. “Remember how we were having communication issues with the other planets?”

 

“Yeah, why?”

 

“We just fixed the problem. Comms are clearing up across all boards.”

 

Their helms crackled for a moment before a familiar voice spoke up.

 

“-ome in team. Look at that! You guys should see all the green lights lighting up back here! Well they’re yellow for Rueben but that’s not the point...”

 

“We can hear you boss” Rueben responded through grit teeth. “Satellite’s online. How clear is it now?”

 

“Looks like we can go all the way to Venus and Mars. Big Blue’s saying we might be able to open communications with the Reef again. Get home, team. We’ve got a little pizza party for you three when you get here.”

 

* * *

 

 

True to his word, when the three of them finished their reports at the Tower and returned to their flat, there were boxes of pizza sitting in the kitchen. The smell of it hit the trio at once. Rueben and Sparks hurried over to help themselves.

 

Vivian retreated to her room. Though she was hungry, there was a deeper feeling. Soon as she closed the door, she collapsed to her knees and began to cry.

 

Oh, how she longed to leave this place. How she longed to be away from Rueben and Sparks. Aside from Cayde she had no one here. If she were to return to the Reef maybe someone would recognize her? Maybe old friends?

 

Between dying sobs, her mind focused on the crystal that usually remained hidden under armor. Yes, she could feel the pulse. It was a steady, slow rhythm. When she focused hard enough she could almost feel the other person breathing. Matching her breaths with theirs, her sobs stopped, her own heart stopped pounding in her ears.

 

“It’s not a party when someone’s alone” Cayde said from the balcony. Vivian nearly screamed when she heard him. Her head hit the door hard enough to cause a loud sound.

 

“I’m not that scary, am I?”

 

“Don’t do that” Vivian yelled. She had to remember to keep that door locked from now on. The tone of her own voice moments prior upset her. “I’m sorry...”

 

“Talk it out. Come on.” Cayde sat down at one end of the bed. His hand patted the soft sheets next to him. Vivian stood up and joined his side. She couldn’t look at his face after being so rude. “What’s on your mind, Vi?”

 

“I feel it in my bones” she said in a low voice. “I miss the Reef. Something’s calling me back. Something, someone...I don’t know.”

 

Cayde’s hand went to his chin. He made a soft noise and stared at the Awoken next to him.

 

“Do you want a different team?”

 

“I don’t know...”

 

“You don’t know, or you don’t want to upset anyone?”

 

Vivian fell silent. She buried her head in her hands before focusing on the pulse again.

 

“A lot of Guardians who rez out there feel the same way. You’re drawn to where you last died. Especially when you were running with some strong emotions your first death.” He reached out, carefully, taking hold of one of Vivian’s hands. When he pulled it away, he used his other hand to wipe her tears. “Talk to me.”

 

“There’s been these faces in my dreams.” Aside from the nightmares, there were three faces always in her dreams. Vivian reached under her pillow and pulled out the loose pages. Cayde glanced at the faces sketched. His calm demeanor shifted as he stared at them. His hand held hers tighter.

 

“Do they say anything?”

 

“It depends. This one,” she pointed to a woman with almost messy hair yet a calm, cold expression, “makes remarks about going past the Reef. It’s part of my job to scout past the rocks, see if anything’s wrong.”

 

The revelation falls unto Cayde. He picks up the pages and, despite her protests, folds them up and slips them in a pouch.

 

“You’re not allowed out there.” His voice is different; what was once pleasant, now replaced with a more serious tone. “Part of what Zavala wanted to tell you. Don’t go digging.”

 

“I want my sketches back.”

 

“Sorry, Vi.”

 

Vivian puffed her cheeks and ripped her hand from his. She took a deep breath to fight back the tears that wanted to flow. Another to balance herself. Another…

 

There was a knock. Cayde jumped to his feet and hurried over. Standing at the other side of the door was Commander Zavala. It felt unnatural for him to be in a place like this. But the shorter Exo moved aside for him to step inside the room. The pair switched places with Cayde closing the door after himself.

 

Great. Just what she needed. Vivian’s hands clenched into fists as he approached and sat down next to her.

 

“I hear you’re not adjusting well.”

 

“I want to go to the Reef.”

 

“Absolutely not.” Vivian bristled at Zavala’s authority. She wanted to punch him. She wanted to jump out the balcony and fly away. This was her cage. Zavala took a breath. His harsh features lessened only by a fraction. “You’re being transferred to another team tomorrow. There’s another Reefborn there who can help you-”

 

“Tell me that I’m crazy.”

 

The interruption put a visible dink on his calm demeanor. It didn’t help that Vivian was glaring at him.

 

“Adjust. Whatever happened to cause your death was traumatic enough to affect you now.”

 

“And if I say no?”

 

Zavala narrowed his eyes. If she was testing him, it was certainly working. A rarity indeed for someone to question him so openly.

 

“You’re too inexperienced to work by yourself.” _Too volatile_ he wanted to say. “Until you’re more comfortable with your abilities, you will work with a team. Is that understood?”

 

“Until I stop questioning what my dreams mean, you mean?”

 

“You’ll have someone you can turn to about them on this new team.”

 

Vivian let out an audible, frustrated huff. She stood up and began to pace around the room she had been occupying. Grabbing the knife from her gear- _her knife_ , she spun it around her hand and wrist as she paced. Not to intimidate the man, but more to keep her mind from going down darker avenues. If Zavala took it as a threat, it didn’t show on his features.

 

“They’ll be by in the morning. In the meantime...those three are going to eat all that food out there unless you step in.” He got to his feet and walked past Vivian. When he got to the door he stopped but didn’t look back to her. “Celebrate. Because of you, Rueben, and Spark, we can effectively communicate with most of our fire teams outside of Earth.”

 

Vivian didn’t respond as he left. Once the door was closed, she gripped her knife hard enough for the color in her knuckles to turn. Focus now returning to the pulsing crystal, her hand lowered, grip loosened. The blade slipped out of her hand but didn’t clatter on the ground. Instead, it hovered a few centimeters away from her fingers.

 

Her eyes went wide. She lifted her hand and watched as the blade seemed to follow. It returned to her palm and her fingers wrapped around the handle.

 

This wasn’t something she was going to share. Not yet.


	4. Descending Abaddon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivian meets her new team. She discovers she is a horrible person.
> 
> And that Thrall are little bastards.

_Home._

 

_But this place wasn’t of rocks and cold and nothingness._ _Daylight shone through leaves casting dancing shadows over their clearing. Bushes lush with flowers and berries lined the opening where the three Awoken_ _rested._

 

 _Vivian sat between the pair-_ the twins _, that had been gracing her dreams lately. As the man with black hair fiddled with his rifle, the woman with white hair to her right watched Vivian’s hands as she wove stems together._

 

_The flowers in her hand smelt of sweet pollen. Birds and insects were their music as the trio sat in relative silence, in each other’s company._

 

_“Here we go” Vivian said with a smile. She moved unto her knees with the crown of flowers. The woman straightened up as unreadable eyes followed Vivian’s hands. Carefully, Vivian set the crown upon the woman’s head before adjusting her hair with gem and gold hair pins._

 

_“You look adorable, Sister” the man said with a toothy grin. The woman shot him a look that shifted to a small smile moments later. “When do I get one, Vivi?”_

 

_“That depends if your bird doesn’t rip it off your head” Vivian shot back. There were plenty enough flowers for another crown. Plenty of light to still make yet another._ _She returned to her spot between the twins and began to carefully weave another crown together._

 

_When the second crown was completed she moved on her knees to the man. The lighter petals stood out more atop his head as a few butterflies graced the flowers. The man smiled as his eyes watched the insects flutter, settle, and move on._

 

_“There. Crowns_ _that would make the Queen jealous._ _” She dusted off her hands on her pale green tunic._ _Her smile couldn’t be hidden. It died when the woman stood up, removed the crown, and carefully placed it upon Vivian’s head. “My lady?”_

 

_“Crowns do not suit me” the woman said simply. She sat down beside Vivian, fingers running through waist-long red hair. They tugged at sections and carefully weaved an intricate braid._ _When finished the woman sat down closer to Vivian but not close enough they could lean against one another. “You will do best to remember that.”_

 

_“Of course, my lady.”_

 

* * *

 

 

Vivian awoke with a shock. Something had forced her conscience. Before she could react with violence the individual jumped back and raised their hands.

 

“Easy, easy.” Rueben lowered his hands. “Your new teams’ here for you. I see you have everything packed.”

 

There wasn’t much to pack. Her journal, dream-pictures, and few articles of clothing fit in one bag. Sparks insisted on Vivian leaving. Insisted their flat was only for _their fireteam_. And he was more than happy to have the Awoken scratched from that list.

 

The door opened behind Rueben. In stepped a woman a head taller than him with violet hair pulled back in a bun. Her violet skin seemed to glow with faint moving blue ripples. The most striking feature were her eyes: orange, sharp. They seemed to stare into Vivian’s very soul and judge her actions past, present, and future.

 

“Is everything alright?” The woman’s voice was calm, higher pitch than those within Vivian’s mind.

 

“Uh, yeah.” Rueben swallowed before glancing at the woman. “Vivian’s jumpy is all.”

 

The woman made a sound as she approached. She sat down beside Vivian and touched her cheek. Violet lids fluttered shut. One of the doors in Vivian’s mind opened. She felt like the woman was there with her within and without. Her own eyes fluttered shut. Together, the pair sat there for a few minutes. Rueben watched in silence as Sparks and one other Exo walked in and began to watch, too.

 

“What’re they doing” Spark whispered to the others.

 

“Connecting. Sharing thoughts” the Exo whispered back.

 

At once, both women opened their eyes. The woman’s other hand clasped Vivian’s other cheek and held her head.

 

“Come on Kari, I wanna get some breakfast” the new Exo groaned as he slumped forward. “You two can do your whole connecting souls thing or whatever later. I wanna _eat-_ ”

 

“You go ahead.” Kari stood up off the bed. Her hands moved from Vivian’s face to her hands. She pulled the smaller Awoken with her. “We’ll meet up later.”

 

Vivian glanced at Rueben. He closed the gap and moved as if to embrace her. Instead he simply reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.

 

“It’s not goodbye, okay? You’ll learn more with other Titans.”

 

“...Yeah.” She couldn’t shake the feeling that Rueben wanted to be rid of her as much as Sparks.

 

_They do not understand._

 

Vivian turned to Kari. The woman, in turn, glanced at Vivian and smiled. She picked up Vivian’s pack and slung it over her shoulder.

 

_A gift we share. The more intoned you become the easier it will get._

 

Sparks didn’t say a word as the Awoken left. He simply watched with crossed arms and furrowed brow. The Exo accompanying Kari followed after the pair.

 

Once the door to the flat closed behind them, Vivian let out a loud sigh.

 

“They’re a pair of assholes” the Exo quietly said. “They’re scouts for a reason, you know? Can’t work with anyone. Poor Cayde’s got his hands full with 'em.”

 

“Rueben seemed nice” Vivian replied. She didn’t turn back to the door, only held unto Kari’s hand like a child unto their mother.

 

“You said it right there. _Seemed_.”

 

“Chip.” Kari’s tone sharpened for a moment. “No need for Vivian to burn that bridge. It is up to the Hunters whether or not to light that match.”

 

If the pair expected an answer from the younger Titan they didn’t get it on their walk. Down stairs, up them, through alleyways. This new flat was closer to the Wall. You could see the Tower if you craned your head up. There was also a park. As the trio walked past the flowers, Vivian stopped. Before she could pluck a single flower, Kari grabbed her hand and forced her to keep following.

 

“No crowns.”

 

“B-but-”

 

“ _No._ ”

 

Chip snorted. He glanced at the pair and rolled his eyes. It was like watching a mother in public with their young child.

 

“If you behave Vivian, we might go out for ice cream later” he added in with a smile. Kari spun around and punched him full-strength in the arm. The metal creaked and groaned and bone splintered and cracked. Both Titans stepped away from each other laughing as their Ghosts repaired the damage dealt. Vivian could only watch on in silent horror. Was this what it meant to be a Titan? She didn’t know if she wanted that. Maybe being alone wouldn’t be such a bad idea. And being alone she could retreat back to her home-

 

_Which home? The one of dead rocks or the one of lush green? Was the latter even real? If it was, did it still exist?_

 

The smaller Awoken turned to the flowers again. Instead of plucking them, her fingers touched the gentle petals. The scent of pollen was far weaker here. Her thoughts returned to the flowers she wove for a crown. To the two she shared such closeness with. _The twins._ Kari had sifted through her thoughts earlier and must have seen their faces. Hopefully it was a discussion that could be broached.

 

Kari put a hand on Vivian’s shoulder. The smaller Awoken’s thoughts scattered like a nest of rats exposed to the daylight.

 

“Come on, Vi.”

 

Their flat was the top floor of the building. Half of the floor itself was open to the outside. To go from room to room you walked outside under cover of heavy, colorful cloth. These open areas were mostly barren. If only for the simple fact that the Exo and Awoken had occupied the space for less than two weeks. Now, it would be their team’s home. The youngest of them got a corner room. It included a large personal porch and a connection to the rest of the porch the flat had. There were empty pots and dirt beds in this smaller, personal space. Vivian moved her bed to one set of windows that the Traveler wasn’t present in. She kept her journal under the bottom of the drawers of the desk, which was stationed next to her bed.

 

“You ever been in the Crucible” Chip asked from the doorway. Vivian nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of his voice. She dropped the desk on her fingers and cried out when the digits dislocated. “Nice one, Vi.”

 

Instead of words only a hiss escaped her lips. Chip let out a laugh.

 

“All right. Tomorrow morning we’re carrying your ass. Gotta break you in.”

 

* * *

 

 

Vivian’s first match of Crucible went as well as anyone’s first match. Half of her time was spent being dead, a fourth of the remaining time dying or being shot, and the remainder trying to return fire. Her aim, under stress, was terrible. Add in running, jumping, sliding around, and you got someone who earned not a single kill.

 

Chip laughed when he saw the final score. Kari flashed a smile as their fourth left the group. Vivian wanted to leave, too. She summoned Ripple and was about to ask them to send her back to the Tower.

 

“You’re not leaving yet” the Exo said between dying laughs. “That was your first match, wasn’t it? We’re not done ‘til you get five kills.”

 

“I’m done.”

 

“Again, no you’re not.”

 

“Chip, Vi.” Kari held her face in her hand. “At least two more games, Vi, please?”

 

“But-”

 

“But what?” The other Awoken’s voice quieted as she stepped closer to Vivian. “It’s alright. Talk to us.”

 

Vivian didn’t want to talk. She wanted to withdraw, return to their new flat. Wanted to get more flowers, more flower pots, fill her room with the sweet scent of pollen. What she most certainly didn’t want to tell them was about her nightmare the night prior. The same situation but different events: instead of the birds just dropping dead around her their bodies collided with her own. Before death touched her she had woken in sweat-soaked sheets.

 

“Vivian.”

 

“I’m tired.”

 

Kari let out a quiet sigh before pulling the smaller Guardian closer. That familiar look in her eyes was all the words needed to be said.

 

“Chip, find a team to join. Vi and I have to have a talk. Awoken things.”

 

“Fine. Whatev.” He shrugged and watched as Kari summoned her Ghost, held unto Vivian, and transmatted out of the small room.

 

* * *

 

The pair didn’t speak until they were back at their flat. Kari led Vivian to a room off the main sitting area. The only light source was a crack of light peering through heavy curtains in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows. There were cushions on the ground in front of the windows.

 

“Do you have dreams often” the older Guardian asked.

 

“Yeah, I guess.”

 

“Every night” Ripple interjected as they appeared in a shimmer of light. “Last night it was a particularly bad nightmare.”

 

Vivian glared daggers at her Ghost. It wasn’t its right to blurt out her personal issues to anyone. Her cheeks felt like they were warm. Luckily the near-darkness hid their tint. Until Kari moved to the windows and began to pull and tie the curtains back.

 

“What do you dream of?”

 

“It depends.”

 

Ripple moved as if to answer. It took all of Vivian’s restraint not to smack them into the ground.

 

 _You can trust her. Kari is only trying to help_ Ripple spoke inside Vivian’s mind. _Just talk to her._

 

“I have a journal. Keep track of it all.” The light nearly blinded the smaller Guardian. She blinked several times before seeing she was face to face with the Traveler.

 

“Would you be alright with me seeing some of your journal?”

 

“I-I guess?” There really wasn’t much she could say here, was there? Vivian dipped her head, slipped out a door that led to the main porch, and made her way to her room. She retrieved the journal from under her desk and grabbed the pages she finished just before their short Crucible run. Returning to the room, she offered it all to Kari. Kari sat down on one of the cushions as she began to go through the papers. Most everything was loose: sketches, drawings, paintings. When she got to the pages of the twins, her eyes stopped. Vivian had seated herself on the other cushion beside her fellow Titan before Kari ceased. Vivian ceased up when Kari turned to look at her.

 

“You are of the Reef, correct?”

 

“Yes, why?” Her heartbeat was almost echoing in her ears. Vivian wanted nothing more than to grab the pages and run back to her room, to make Kari forget even seeing them.

 

Instead of yelling, or anger, there was a sense of amazement. Kari turned back to the pages and touched the faces.

 

“You don’t know who these people are, do you?”

 

“No. I just know that...they were my friends.”

 

Kari turned to Vivian again and smiled at her. Her fingers continued to stroke the sketches as if she were to stroke their cheeks in person. Something was on the tip of her tongue. Contradiction played in her eyes.

 

“Kari, who are they?”

 

“It’s not up to me to tell you.”

 

“What do you mean? You mean you know them?”

 

“I know _of_ them. I don’t know them as personally as you once did.”

 

Vivian snarled and grabbed for her papers. Kari kept them away as her smile turned to laughs.

 

“Give them back!”

 

“Easy. Let me look through the rest.”

 

“You’re embarrassing me!” Vivian rolled unto her knees. She could feel her cheeks, warm, and could only guess how much of a tint of purple they were. “Give them back!”

 

“Stop! Here, here...” Kari didn’t back down until Vivian started almost climbing the woman. She returned the papers but not the journal and giggled when Vivian let out a growl deep inside her chest. “May I read a few entries?”

 

“No.”

 

“Fine.” Once everything was returned and slipped under Vivian’s cushion, the other woman’s smile vanished. “I want to help you with these dreams. Sit, sit. _Properly._ ” Kari shifted her legs, moving to sit on her knees on the cushion. She watched until Vivian did the same.

 

“Close your eyes.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Close your eyes” Kari repeated. She waited. Waited until Vivian’s stubbornness subsided. When Vivian’s eyes were closed, she too closed her eyes. “Focus on the within. What do you see?”

 

“Doors.”

 

“Doors?” The taller woman reached out and took hold of Vivian’s hand.

 

Within Vivian’s mind, she saw Kari step through one of the doors. Kari glanced around the large room, at all the doors. There had to be dozens, if not at least a hundred. Together the pair went to one of the closer doors. Vivian yanked on the door, pulled on it, pulled on the knob. Nothing she did could open the door.

 

Kari stepped up, turned the knob, and carefully opened it. Within, it was like seeing through another’s eyes. Whoever it was was busy reading something on a screen. Boring stuff. Incredibly boring.

 

“How’d you do that” Vivian asked. Her voice echoed a little off of nonexistent walls.

 

“ _Focus._ ” She led Vivian to another door. Kari stepped back and watched the area around them appear to dim. Echoes of laughter reverberated through the halls. Before the smaller Guardian could approach the door her head turned to one end of the area.

 

There was something there. Something was pulling Vivian. She disregarded the current door. Her focus was elsewhere.

 

“Vivian, wait.” Kari followed as the other walked to the end of the room. Here sat a door. More akin to an airlock.

 

Vivian tried to open the door. She pried it as hard as she could. Kari stepped in after a few minutes and tried to open the door as well. It was more sealed than a Vex door.

 

“There’s something here” Vivian said between heavy breaths. “I’m always trying to open this one.”

 

“I want you to focus on these doors instead.” Kari led Vivian away from the airlock-door, towards some of the other doors. “Focus on this one, instead.”

 

The area around them dimmed further. Flashes of light flitted by. The shape was recognizable: butterflies. They landed on dimly-glowing flowers in intricate stone pots that cropped up around them. There was a scent emanating from the airlock. One Kari was too familiar with.

 

Kari’s eyes opened as she shook Vivian back to reality. When she opened her eyes Vivian nearly glared up to the other Titan.

 

“Do not go near that door” the older woman warned. “I mean it. It’ll cause nothing but pain.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“Just listen to me, okay?”

 

“But-”

 

“No! No ‘but’s!” She grabbed the smaller woman by the shoulders. Nails dug through undersuit. “I mean it, Vivian.”

 

* * *

 

 

“So how was yer lil nap?” Chip showed up at the flat with a bag of food in hand. He didn’t get an answer from either Awoken sitting at opposite ends of the couch. “Food’s ready! Get yer chow!”

 

“Chip?” Kari stood up at once. She grabbed the Exo by the arm and hurried him out of the room.

 

Vivian didn’t notice. She was asleep sitting on the couch.

 

“About our newest member...”

 

“Yeah? What about?”

 

She glanced around before letting Chip’s arm go. If he had been organic she would’ve likely left a bruise the shape of her hand. Shuffling through her pocket, she removed the purple-orange badge Vivian usually kept close.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“An old officer’s badge. Corsair.”

 

“Like Awoken-Queen-Reef-Corsair Corsair?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“What’s so wrong? It’s busted to hell- does she know you even have this?” Chip took the badge. He examined it in his hands.

 

“This, too.” Kari unfolded a few of the pages from the younger Guardian’s journal. One of the pages was of a man with dark hair, orange eyes, and a woman with cold eyes. They were sitting together. The man had his arm wrapped around the woman.

 

“Wait, is that-”

 

“ _Yeah._ ”

 

“Fuck no. Get a hold of Zavala, I’m not having some Kinderguardian's baggage keep us stuck in the Tower.”

 

“We can’t, Chip.”

 

“Why the fuck not?”

 

“Because-” Kari let out a sharp huff and collected the lifted items back up. “The poor girl’s already been pushed out of one team. How would you feel if you were pushed out of two?”

 

Chip fell silent. His gaze went to the floor, head tilting a little one way, a little the other. Finally,

 

“Yeah, I’d be pretty disheartened.”

 

“So, we don’t say anything. If anything happens, it happens, yeah?”

 

His gaze returned to Kari. It wouldn’t necessarily be lying if they never told Zavala. Besides, he probably suspected something of their new team member. But still. To keep something from their boss…

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah” Chip echoed back. They were in it, together. What was the worse that could happen?

 

* * *

 

 

_Weeks passed without much incident. Without many dreams or differentiating nightmares. With daily meditation, the young Guardian's mind finally seemed to be at ease._

 

Luna. Temple of Crota.

 

If Vivian didn’t hate the Hive before, she surely did now. The intel that came out of this area spelled nothing but trouble and pain. Chip led their way to the Hive’s nest. Kari was close behind, with Vivian at the rear. They had been harried by Hive or Fallen the whole way here.

 

 _There is a ritual taking place somewhere on the Moon. We need you to stop it._ Zavala’s words echoed in Vivian’s mind.

 

How deep would they have to go? How far, how many enemies waited in their way?

 

_Why do I feel so ill?_

 

“Got some lil bastards incoming” Chip called out over their comm link. They readied their weapons as a swarm of Thrall came running over the crest of the small hill before them. As they drew closer, the trio opened fire. Bolts of energy started whizzing by their heads once most of the Thrall had been cut down. Acolytes hid behind pillars and rocks. They only poked out of cover to return fire. Chip motioned to take cover as he continued to rain bullets.

 

Vivian focused solely on taking down one of the Knights lingering in the rear of the area, near the hall they’d have to take. Before she could kill it, the creature summoned a shield of energy. Chip tossed a grenade at its feet. Upon detonation it disintegrated in fragmented chitin and dust.

 

The area now cleared, the trio continued deeper, deeper, deeper. They fought wave after wave. Chip used his Fist of Havoc on an Ogre, Vivian used her hammer to wipe out a large group of Cursed Thrall. Kari reserved her own Super for a more proper time, likely for wherever they were going to end up. That sickly feeling that had started off as merely festering in Vivian’s gut had moved through to her chest, her throat. Was it the Darkness they all felt as they descended?

 

“Do you feel that, too” she asked Kari on a private link.

 

“Feel what, cousin?”

 

“That...bad feeling.”

 

“No. How long have you had it?”

 

“Uh...a while.” Her answer to Kari clearly didn’t satisfy the more seasoned Titan. She waved for Chip to stop a moment before switching to the link they shared with him.

 

“Describe your bad feeling for us.”

 

“Uh...just feel sick. Like I’m going to throw up. Been feeling like this since we left orbit earlier.”

 

Her teammates shifted within their armor. They switched to a channel that Vivian couldn’t hear. She let out a frustrated huff and continued to move forward.

 

“Why didn’t you say anything” Chip asked, finally breaking the ice. He had to jog to catch up with Vivian. Once close enough he grabbed her shoulder and stopped her angry march.

 

“Because it’s probably just some _Dumb Awoken Thing._ ” Vivian spun on her heel. The movement was enough to pull Chip’s armored hand away from herself. She turned back around just as quick and continued forward. “Let’s just finish the damn mission and go home already.”

 

More silence. Kari and Chip were talking among each other, she concluded. Kari had told her days prior that the dreams could affect their health to one extent or the other. To continue writing down the dreams in the best detail possible. If anything bothered her, to talk to them.

 

Vivian didn’t like to share. Not since Rueben, Sparks, Cayde...they made her feel like a freak. Zavala was more of a brick wall with a scowl. In a city of millions of souls...loneliness.

 

Before Chip or Kari could tell her to stop, the trio came upon a large room. It seemed to be lit by sickly green glow. In the middle atop a dais, a rock. It glowed a sickly, rippling green.

 

What resistance occupied the room was quickly eliminated. Kari hurried up along a side ramp to a strange machine. Her Ghost appeared in her open hand before moving to the machine to scan it.

 

“You’re going to have company _very_ soon” her Ghost warned as it scanned components. Moments passed. Agonizingly quiet moments. They used it to check their weapons, ammo stocks.

 

Finally, the telltale sign of Hive: the screeching. Thrall were the first to greet them. Easy enough to mow down. Acolytes followed close behind. They hid between firing upon the Guardians.

 

Kari activated her Super below the shard. Chip and Vivian took cover as more and more Hive flooded the room.

 

“Is your super ready, Vi” Chip asked as he reloaded his rifle. Vivian shook her head as she took down a couple of glowing bastards. The subsequent explosion took out the surrounding hive.

 

“Find cover” Kari called out. Their shield was about to vanish. “Now!” The Awoken’s arms dropped. One hand found her sidearm as she dove for cover with Vivian.

 

“That feeling’s getting worse.” Vivian briefly opened a line with Kari before switching back over. Whether the woman heard her or not was unknown.

 

Chip took out half the room of enemies with two rocket blasts from behind a pillar. He glanced at his team and gave them a thumbs up. With the numbers thinned, no longer did they have to hide and take cover.

 

Before they could get comfortable, the whole temple seemed to shake with the bellow of a monster. Rock and dust fell from the ceiling. The feeling grew so bad Vivian dry heaved. Kari pushed her down the stairs behind the dais, away from the door groaning open. An Ogre, a large one, stood on the other side. A dozen Thrall ran forward, towards the Guardians. Chip took out half of them as the Ogre took aim at him.

 

Before he could dive to cover, he dropped to the ground from its void blasts. It turned to Kari now and began to shoot at her. She returned with machine gun fire into its horrid face.

 

The beast twitched. As it did, a stray void blast shot to the side.

 

The same side where Chip’s Ghost hovered, exposed, trying to bring him back. The blast found its mark. A wave of Light washed over the room.

 

“No” Kari screamed out. Vivian was only just recovering, her body still throwing itself through a loop. Against better judgment, she removed her helmet and emptied her stomach’s contents unto the floor.

 

That bad feeling was gone.

 

When Vivian finally looked up, she saw Kari charging the Ogre head on. Before she could touch it, the Ogre sent her flying with a body slam. It didn’t kill the Titan but the damage was done. The woman didn’t rise back up.

 

Why didn’t Vivian care?

 

The younger Awoken rose to her feet. She grabbed Chip’s rocket launcher, loaded it, and began to shoot rockets at it until she was depleted of ammo. By the time that was done, there was a crater where the Ogre once stood.

 

Kari pulled herself up against a pillar. Blood oozed from between plates of armor, from under her suit. Her Ghost was busy healing her.

 

“Kari, I’m...I’m sorry.”

 

“Not right now” Kari’s Ghost said on her behalf. Vivian backed away, dipped her head, retreated up to the strange machine. There were symbols glowing on it now. Ripple appeared once the coast was clear and scanned the machine.

 

“It’s a shard of the Traveler” they said in pained wonder. “They were using it...to connect to the Traveler, drain its Light. They won’t have it any more.” Her Ghost continued scanning the machine. The shard before them glimmered, the sickly glow fading moments before the shard itself seemed to vanish in a shimmer of Light.

 

Once she was healed Kari stumbled to Chip. His still form was crumpled, charred, across from where Vivian stood. She couldn’t watch as the other Awoken cradled the Exo’s still form and began to cry.

 

Ripple pressed their shell into Vivian’s neck. She felt bad...for not feeling anything. Hearing Kari sob was hurting more.

 

 _What’s wrong with me_ she questioned within her mind.

 

_You weren’t close to him. It’s...okay._

 

_Is it, really?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4! This one was a doozy to write.
> 
> Didn't want to write out the mission word for word or to a T, necessarily. 
> 
> Also when writing this I sort of forgot where the last chapter ended and the new one began? I thought I had written 2k words and instead I accidentally wrote double that sooo....
> 
> <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


	5. Part-Time Horticulturalist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivian meets a new acquaintance, moves to a new flat, and shows just how much she likes plants.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> "Suffer."-Ripple, Vivian's Ghost

 

Vivian stood before Zavala, Ikora, and Cayde. All her belongings were stuffed in a single bag at her feet, save for her armor. That was ready to transmat in a moment’s notice thanks to Ripple.

 

“I’m not going to be on any more teams” she stated in as calm and even tone as she could manage. Her eyes watched each Vanguard carefully. Zavala appeared annoyed by her announcement, Ikora seemed to be mildly concerned, and Cayde…

 

“I think it’s a good idea” the Exo announced. He made his way around Zavala, wrapped an arm around Vivian’s shoulders, and pulled her close. “Teams’re overrated. Well, except mine. Mine’s the best.”

 

“You’re inexperienced.” Zavala stood to full height before letting out a frustrated huff. “You shouldn’t have been on such a mission to begin with. You’ll be transferred to another-”

 

“No. More. Teams."

 

Kari had stopped talking to Vivian after the briefest of conversations on the way back to Earth. _I don’t hate you. But I won’t forgive you._ Those words hurt the young Titan. This last mission convinced her that working in a team would only cause pain.

 

“There’s plenty of Guardians who work better alone” Ikora added in. “Vivian may just be one of those Guardians.”

 

Zavala opened his mouth to speak. He stopped himself short and shook his head.

 

Vivian closed her eyes. She focused on the doors that occupied the inside of her mind. The noise of the Vanguards’ argument echoed quietly against the strange walls. She moved to the nearest door. It had no handle, so she pushed it to the left, to the right. With enough focus she slowly forced it open. Just a crack. Just to see whose eyes she could see through-

 

She could see herself. See Cayde holding her close, Ikora to the side. The person stepped forward, hand outstretched-

 

Back within her own mind, she could see the anger flare in Zavala’s eyes. The force of his arm grabbing her own nearly threw her back against the steps. But it was the same offending hand that kept her planted.

 

“Hey hey, big guy, relax.” Cayde had taken a step back to prevent being collateral. Now he was trying to pull Vivian away from Zavala, from the slowly simmering rage the man was building.

 

“Zavala-”

 

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?”

 

A woman stood at Vivian’s back, at the edge of the room. She turned to the questioning distraction. The first thing that caught her eye was the woman’s red hair and single, blue eye. She didn’t seem of the Tower, didn’t have the _air_ of the Tower.

 

Vivian used the moment to free herself from her Vanguard’s grasp and book out of the room. She ran past the woman as fast as possible while making a mental note to find and thank her later.

 

* * *

 

 

Well, this was an issue.

 

The young Guardian sat in the large tree that shaded part of the Tower. One of her legs dangled from the thick branch that held her weight.

 

In her haste, Vivian had forgotten her pack. The pack that held her dream-messages, knife, badge. She could pay someone to retrieve it for her. But they might steal something from her, extort for more Glimmer, or ridicule her for not wanting to face the Vanguard.

 

Her eyes caught sight of the woman from before. And she was approaching the Titan, with her bag in hand.

 

Vivian took a breath, prepared herself for criticism, extortion, or both. She had Ripple ready to transfer Glimmer from her account in a moment’s notice.

 

“You left this behind” the woman said as she handed Vivian her bag.

 

“Thank you.” Vivian slung the bag’s long strap across her body and shifted the bulk to reside against her lower back. A few moments of awkward silence befell the pair before she had the courage to speak again. “To whom do I owe this debt-”

 

“Cayde had me bring it out here for you. He said, I quote, ‘poor kid’s going to be too spooked to come back for a while.’” There was a hint of annoyance in the woman’s voice. She shifted her weight from one leg to another and crossed her arms.

 

“Uh...yeah. Uh….” She laughed at herself on the inside. Why was she stumbling over her words around this stranger?

 

Her eyes drifted down a little, and spotted the badge on the woman’s chest. Vivian’s eyes went wide.

 

“Is everything all right?” The woman’s eyes narrowed as she watched this Guardian fumble through their belongings. But they soon widened when the woman pulled out a badge of her own and showed it to her. “Where? Where did you find this?” Her tone was almost accusatory, as if the young Guardian had the _gall_ to steal it.

 

“It was with me...where I rezzed.” Vivian glanced at the other faces who were watching now. She wanted nothing more than to shirk away, return to her flat-

 

_It’s not my flat anymore. I don’t have anywhere to sleep._

 

 _You can sleep in your ship_ Ripple reassured her. _It’s an easy enough modification._

 

“Where did you...awaken at?” The woman’s voice brought Vivian out of her own mind. She blinked a few times before responding.

 

“Out in the Reef. There were lots of dead ships, dead bodies, and rocks. Lots and lots of rocks.” Come to think of it, she had a sketch of her old ship smashed against the very rock that ended her first life. Vivian swung the bag around and began to scour her journal and loose papers. She could see the stranger staring at the pages, the faces sketches and colored. She expected the hand that reached out and plucked one of the loose pages from the pile.

 

“Do you go to the Reef often?”

 

“I haven’t been since I...woke up, I guess is the term? Commander doesn’t seem keen on me being too far away like he thinks I’m going to-”

 

“Run back?” A smile flashed across the woman’s face. Her eyes followed to the offered page, to the ship sketched there. Then she blinked, looked up, offered a hand. “Petra Venj.”

 

“Vivian.” The Titan accepted Petra’s hand and shook it. It was only at this moment of studying the woman’s face that she realized that...Petra only had one eye. The other was covered with a patch bearing the same symbol as their badges. The pair shared a smile that died at the approach of the Hunter Vanguard.

 

“Hey ladies.” Cayde wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her away from Petra. The movement caused half the Guardian’s possessions to dump unto the ground out of her open bag. Vivian let out a small growl and scurried to catch the pages that threatened to blow off the Tower.

 

Petra cocked a brow, stole a glance at Cayde, then at Vivian when she returned. The scowl on Vivian's face was nearly comedic at its intensity. Blue cheeks flushed purple as she carefully returned the loose pages back to her bag. Petra included the two she had been holding and the woman’s badge. But the glimmer from the metal was enough to attract the Vanguard who snatched it from between the pair.

 

“I don’t think Zavala would be too happy that you found one to help take up your cause, Petra” Cayde warned as he examined the badge in his hands. Vivian let out an exasperated sound and tried to grab it back. “Uh uh, no, nope. Talk to Blue first, then you get it back.”

 

“It was in my ship when I was reborn, Cayde! Give it back!” Vivian’s voice traveled more than she cared for. Other Guardians were watching now. The general buzz of the Tower seemed to get lower. It only made Vivian’s cheeks turn more intensely purple, the blush extending down her exposed neck, to her ears. She could feel tears welling in her eyes as they focused on the badge. She wanted it back, away from him-

 

The badge seemed to rip itself from Cayde’s hand. He stood there a few seconds, staring at his now empty hand. The offending item found itself in Vivian’s hand now. Before the Exo could say anything, the Titan slipped the badge in her bag, summoned her Ghost, and vanished in a shimmer of Light.

 

Even Petra was stunned, and she had seen it with her own eye. The Guardians watching seemed to return to their own business, the buzz of the Tower growing once more.

 

* * *

 

Vivian stared at the Reef. Only life support was running in her ship which granted her the ability to simply float about.

 

Thus she floated cross-legged, facing a window. This was her home.

 

_Come home. We miss you here._

 

Oh how she wanted to leave the Tower behind. Forget the Last City, return to the place she belonged before.

 

It had been two days since she met Petra. The name stuck to her mind like a magnet. Now, this far from the Traveler, memories of an old life were returning easier. Vivian spent hours upon hours simply meditating, reliving her old memories. She searched for a similar name through at least three decades of broken apart thought.

 

“Message incoming” Ripple announced from the cockpit. Their voice broke her from a particularly _salacious_ memory and left Vivian feeling pent up.

 

“I’m not talking to anyone” she called back to them. Her legs were stiff from being in one position for at least the last several hours. So much so, that the Titan had to use her arms to undo them.

 

“It’s the Emissary of the Reef.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Petra.”

 

“Oh, uh...answer, I guess.” At least it wasn’t Cayde, or worse yet, _Zavala_. Hopefully it wasn’t. The comm went to static for a moment before clearing up.

 

“Vivian? Where are you?” Petra didn’t sound concerned. The sounds of the Tower weren’t playing in the background. It was as quiet her end as it was the Guardian’s. Odd.

 

“Depends who really wants to know” Vivian responded. She moved to a box of rations before removing a half-emptied tube.

 

“Cayde’s worried. He won’t leave me alone about it.”

 

“Uh...tell him I’m, uh….” Vivian squeezed a bit of the food gel into her mouth and swallowed it whole. There was so much going on within her mind that coming up with a good story was proving to be difficult. “I guess saying I’m dead-dead won’t work, uh...”

 

“ _Where_ are you?” Petra pressed the question again. “For _my_ sanity. I’ll come up with an excuse for you if you just tell-”

 

“Halfway between Mars and the Reef, just far enough out to not be in Awoken territory.” Far enough away from everything and everyone, yet close enough at once. The Cabal didn’t patrol this far out, neither did the Awoken. An absolutely perfect, quiet place to simply think.

 

The answer seemed to satisfy the woman on the other end. Petra let out a quiet sigh.

 

“Why would you care where I was, anyway?” If the Vanguard really did care they would’ve been calling to no end. But what was one Guardian to the thousands if not tens of thousands under their command? Why would Ikora or Zavala or Cayde care where she went?

 

“Cayde’s been hounding me for the last day thinking I convinced you to abandon the Tower and rejoin the Reef.”

 

“I wouldn’t need convincing, honestly.” The comm fell silent after her remark. Vivian thought she would be yelled at, get in trouble. She wanted to drop the chat, turn around, and fling herself into the Sun. Her stomach felt like it wanted to pop out her mouth and evacuate through an airlock.

 

“Come back to the Tower. I have a few bounties you can do. In exchange I’ll have your badge fixed up. Deal?”

 

Was it really Petra’s idea for her to come back? Maybe the woman was just as miserable there as Vivian was.

 

“Do you have a, uh...a flat you’re staying at?”

 

“I have a spare bed if that’s what you’re asking.”

 

“Then deal. Uh...want me to swing by the Reef for some bread or something since I’m out here?” Vivian cracked a smile as she began to start the ship’s engines back up. Ripple began floating about, helping with the process.

 

“No. If you take one step in the Reef they’ll arrest you.”

 

“Don’t tempt me with a good time, now.” The Titan couldn’t help the snort at her own joke. Petra let out a short huff. Vivian could hear her eye rolling all the way out here.

 

* * *

 

 

If there was one thing the City had, it was lots of places for good food. Well, the Last City was pretty damn big. It had to have lots of little places here and there.

 

Vivian followed Petra’s instructions to the apartment tower. It wasn’t too far from where she had stayed only a few weeks prior. At least the garden shop would remember her. That is if Petra let her fill the space with flowers like Kari did. It was certainly a better place than Chip’s and Kari’s, and bounds better than Rueben’s and Sparks’. Vivian stepped out of the elevator and walked to the last door at the end of the hall. There were only three doors this floor. It made getting back much easier.

 

Before she could knock on the door, it opened. Petra stood partially behind it, her red hair damp and draping over her shoulder.

 

“What were you doing out there” Petra asked with a narrow eye. Vivian held up her hands as she stepped inside.

 

“Got us food. Rip, ‘mat it over at the...oh, wow.” The Guardian’s eyes widened a little at the sheer size of the area. The flat was at least two stories. There were pockets of floor-to-ceiling windows here and there that let in the natural light. At the main sitting area, however, the ceiling opened up. She could see a walkway above, with doors. There had to be windows in the roof because of the sheer brightness that washed through.

 

Ripple was gone, though. They had found where the large kitchen was and had just transmatted a couple boxes of pizza unto the kitchen island. They had just started bringing in the containers of juice, tea, pop.

 

“I don’t need all this” Petra said with a wave of her hand. “Just a simple room. How much food did you get?”

 

“Enough for leftovers for tomorrow. Uh,” Vivian held unto her bag as her eyes continued to look around. The flat was decorated with plain chairs and upholstery and banners normally seen in the rest of the City. Petra tapped Vivian’s shoulder and motioned for her to follow.

 

Up the stairs, the second floor was much smaller than the first. It was also much brighter up here thanks mostly to the skylight overhead shining morning light down.

 

“Which side would you like?”

 

“Which- what? Side? I dunno. Whichever has a decent sized porch?” Might be an odd request, but if Vivian ever had a preference, that would be it.

 

Not that Petra seemed to mind. She pointed at a door and muttered to herself a little before leading Vivian to the only door on the same side as the stairs. The room itself wasn’t very big. Vertical blinds kept most of the light out. The windows were across from where the bed sat. It even had its own bathroom. As the Titan set her drawings and journal on the desk against another wall, Petra pulled the blinds open, washing the room in light.

 

The windows weren’t just windows but also a sliding glass door. Just on the other side of the glass was a large open porch. The view wasn’t the best as the balcony seemed to only overlook the wall.

 

“It wraps all around” Petra explained as she unlatched the door and slid it open. A gentle breeze drifted in. “Some of it is covered, most isn’t. You can use the whole space if you want.”

 

“Really?” Vivian’s eyes lit up as she glanced at Petra. “Um...are you okay with me, uh...making a sort of garden out there? I’ll get the pots and everything and do it myself. Just to make the place look a little less...unoccupied, you know?”

 

“Knock yourself out.” Petra couldn’t really care less. But it seemed to be something that mattered to Vivian. She would be stuck in the Tower most of the day, but the Titan’s schedule would be more varied.

 

There was a chime. It seemed to echo through the house. And it nearly caused Vivian to jump. Petra sighed and left the room to see who was at the door. The house fell quiet, and faintly could Vivian hear Petra talking.

 

“Vivian!” Someone called out her name. Not just _anyone_ , no. Someone she wanted to avoid. The door to her room closed by itself as she began to nearly panic. The last thing the Titan wanted was to be chastised, to be berated once more.

 

Minutes passed before the door cracked open. A familiar head poked through the door.

 

“Hey, kid!” Cayde smiled at her before he let himself in. Before Petra could protest, the door was closed in her face. A single loud thump reverberated off the door before the room fell to general silence.

 

Vivian couldn’t look at Cayde. She wanted to hop on her ship and go back out to the edge of the Reef again, away from everyone. Not even when he went up to get, grabbed the chair next to her, and sat down.

 

“Talk to me.”

 

“He’s still mad at me, isn’t he?”

 

“For what, trying to go through his head? Nah, he’s over that.” Cayde’s smile died. He leaned back. “We thought you left us for good.”

 

“Would it be so bad? You have so many other Guardians ready to fight-”

 

“Do you hate fighting?” He stood up, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and sat her down at the edge of her bed. He brought the chair over and sat down within arm’s length before her.

 

“It’s not that, it’s just...I let Chip die.”

 

“I'm sure you didn't _mean_ to. But...how?”

 

“I had a bad feeling the whole time. It got so bad I...got sick.” It wasn’t the gore and horror that was the Hive that caused it, either. “I had a bad dream beforehand and the closer it got to that point, it...it got worse.”

 

“Did you tell your team ‘bout it?”

 

“...No. I didn’t want them to make fun of me. But Cayde,” Vivian finally looked up. She wasn’t crying, nor angry. There seemed to be nothing in her eyes as she spoke,

 

“I don’t feel bad about it.”

 

Cayde fell quiet. He leaned back in the chair and began to balance on the back legs. He watched the Titan as she looked away, looked past him to the empty porch at his back.

 

“Do you feel anything about it? At all?"

 

“Shame. That I let it happen.” She blinked. That cold, distant look retreated. “Food’s downstairs. I’m hungry, Chief.” Vivian began to get to her feet. Cayde grabbed her and forced her to sit back down.

 

“Is that why you don’t want a team? Fly solo?”

 

“Long and short, yea.”

 

“Cause Blue ain’t backing down on you working with a team. He’s afraid if you go solo, you’re going to just up and leave.”

 

“So he doesn’t trust me.” Figures. Vivian’s brow started to furrow as she stared Cayde square in the eye.

 

 _Easy now, big guy_ Cayde thought.  _Think before you open your mouth again..._

 

“Can’t blame ‘im, can you? Walk in dressed as a spy-”

 

“I am _no_ spy!”

 

“ _I_ know that, Vi. The Vivian who sits in front of me now isn’t a spy. You’d make a really shitty spy, honestly.” He waited for the punch, or the slap. It never came. What did was a loosening of the Awoken’s brow and a snort. Safe for now. “Do you have any idea what happened before your first death yet?”

 

“I wish. I ran out of drawing stuff while I was floating out there.” Vivian got to her feet, this time uninterrupted by the Vanguard. She moved to the desk and removed the journal before returning to him and offering it to him. “I expect everyone to read it over like twice a day anymore, anyway.”

 

Cayde flipped through pages of pages of small handwriting. Front and back, in the margins, for the first half of the book. The second half was filled with words, sketches. Sketches of flowers, buildings, technology he’d never seen.

 

“I don’t think I was a soldier in my first life. At all.”

 

“What d’you think you were?”

 

“A doctor of sorts.”

 

Cayde snorted but forced his laugh down when Vivian’s scowl started again. He caught glimpses of infants, small children, chemical compounds.

 

“Vivian, Titan, actually a doctor for the Queen of the Reef.”

 

“Before she was the Queen, yes.”

 

“ _Before?_ ” See, now _that_ was interesting. “Tell me more.”

 

“It’s all there in your hands. What I know.”

 

“I don’t wanna read. Your handwriting is like a doctor’s, Vi.” Now came the punch. It wasn’t as hard as it _could’ve_ been, but nonetheless still made his shoulder sore.

 

Before Vivian could start, her door opened.

 

“I’m not eating all of this food, Guardians.” Petra pushed the door open a little more and leaned against the door frame.

 

“I would _love_ to help” Vivian called out. She danced around a reaching arm, light on her feet for a Titan. Petra let her pass without worry but stopped Cayde. Holding her hand out, the Awoken woman nodded to the book in his hand. He grumbled before handing it over.

 

By the time they made their way down the stairs, Vivian was sitting on the island with a whole box of pizza in her lap. She stopped eating, her blue eyes staring at the pair as if they’d caught her stealing out of a vault. A half-consumed slice of pizza sat in her hand, its toppings already starting to slide down unto the rest of the pizza in her lap.

 

“You’re not an animal, off the counter!” Petra swatted at Vivian. The Titan hissed as she complied and retreated to the large dining table. “Who the hell taught you any manners?”

 

Cayde started laughing. He couldn’t help it. It was like a mother correcting her child. Add in the possibility of the child being considerably  _older_ than the mother.

 

“I will get back to you when I figure that out” Vivian replied between bites of cheese and topping. She had to put up a hand as Petra tried to smack her in the head.

 

Cayde and Petra split the other box between the two of them. How odd, especially for Petra, to share...what was this, _breakfast?_ With a couple of Guardians. As they spoke to one another, she began to go through the journal once more. Extensive, detailed notes and sketches of technology the Awoken mostly kept secret to themselves alone. Technology that was largely outdated, but still...

 

“So I _have_ to work with a team?”

 

“Not exactly. Ikora and I are batting for ya with Blue. In the mean time, P’s got some stuff you can do. Ain’t that right, Petra?”

 

“Huh?” Petra glanced up to the Guardians. “Yes. Yes.”

 

“Like I said, I expect everyone to read my journals over. I should at least get paid-”

 

“No one else is allowed to see these. If the Queen saw half of this she would bar you from sharing them, period.”

 

“Doesn’t seem like a lot of harmful stuff in there” Cayde replied.

 

“It’s sensitive information that’s in a jumbled mess. From the perspective of someone who had _great_ privilege.” Petra closed the book and slid it over to Vivian. “I would highly suggest you keep your journals private from now on, Vivian. For everyone’s sake.”

 

“….Okay.” Vivian pulled the journal to her lap. That was more than fine to her. “So, I can work for Petra? That’s fine?”

 

“If you keep in contact _every_ day, yes. It’s probably the best deal we can get for you. As long as you’re fine with that?” Cayde turned his head to Petra. She nodded in reply.

 

“You can start tomorrow, if you want.”

 

* * *

 

 

After brunch, Vivian set off for the flower shop. Petra and Cayde returned to the Tower together, leaving the Titan by herself for the day. Despite Cayde’s insistence Petra had barred Vivian from helping set up her little pocket in the Tower.

 

What was Vivian going to do? Go ask _Zavala_ for work? Nah.

 

Luckily Ripple was more than willing to transmat everything right to the porch. Vivian spent what was left in her account on flowers, planters, dirt, irrigation supplies.

 

Now, she walked to Kari’s flat. Hopefully the Titan was home. Hopefully she’d be fine with Vivian taking the plants from Vivian’s old balcony.

 

Knocking on the door, Vivian felt her stomach do flips. Closing her eyes, she found her center again. And she stood there for quite a while.

 

“Vivian” Kari called out. She was alone, donned in dirty armor. The taller woman smiled and closed the gap between them, pulling Vivian into an embrace.

 

Here, Vivian thought she was going to get scowls, nasty words. Not a _hug._ It must’ve showed in her features, too.

 

“How’re you doing?”

 

“I, uh...” How best to describe it? The highlight was surely moving in with Petra. Someone who was actually _from_ the Reef. Someone close to the Queen herself. “I found a new place to live.”

 

“How’s your team?”

 

“I’m working alone now.”

 

“Oh...” Kari’s smile dropped. She moved to unlock the door and invited Vivian inside. “The Vanguard asked me yesterday if I knew where you could’ve gone. You weren’t answering comms.”

 

“I told Ripple to ignore their calls. I only came back cause-” Could she divulge? Why not? “There’s someone here from the Reef.”

 

“I saw. Petra, yeah? Cayde was talking with her.” Kari fell silent a moment before grinning at her former teammate. “Does someone have a crush?”

 

Vivian felt her cheeks heat up just a little. She narrowed her eyes.

 

“No. But she’s offered me a room at her place. I was swinging by to see if I could pick up the plants from my old balcony.”

 

“Why not take ‘em all? I don’t have time between ops to care for em, really. Plus you know more about that sort of thing.” Especially concerning the indoor plants. The plants that were scattered around the flat in different pots. Kari would hate to see them go but she’d rather Vivian happily care for them.

 

“You sure?” Vivian only wanted to ask out of politeness. If it were up to her she’d take every plant here. To have the opportunity just dropped into her lap like this? “Okay, sure.”

 

Together the Titans gathered every pot, every planter, and the irrigation channels and motors to one spot on the porch. Kari never realized just _how many_ plants Vivian had acquired in her two-month stint with their former team.

 

“So does, uh, Petra like plants” she asked once everything was together.

 

“She didn’t seem to mind.” Vivian shrugged. She was trying to hide her smile. And failing at it spectacularly. “I’m just happy she’s fine with me livening the place up. Got some stuff back at the flat but the place they gave ‘er is two stories. Lots more space, lots more bedrooms, it looked like.”

 

“So they put her over in the diplomat bloc. That’s not very far from here.”

 

“They get their own block?”

 

“We don’t get many envoys. They get some of the best flats in the entire City.”

 

 _All the better_ Vivian thought to herself. The fact she was staying in what could be the lap of City luxury dampened the blow of actually having to _come back_. Deep down, she expected to live in such luxury. Deep down, the Vivian of old _expected_ it.

 

They watched as Ripple transmatted everything. Each pot, planter, piece of pipe vanished in a shimmer of Light. Kari’s Ghost watched from her shoulder, the back of its shell rotating every minute or so.

 

“I’m sorry, K.” Vivian turned to Kari once everything was gone. She pulled the taller woman into a hug and squeezed tight. “I won’t be in your hair anymore.”

 

Kari hesitated before returning the embrace. The soft smile she had was gone. In her eyes Vivian could see the pain of losing her team.

 

“If you ever need help, please don’t hesitate to ask, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“And if you ever leave for the Reef,” that smile returned, soothing Vivian’s soul just a little, “send some souvenirs, yeah? Like a gun or somethin’. Hear the Vestian Armory makes the best guns around. Just don’t tell Banshee that.”

 

“Okay.” Vivian smiled a little. The smile didn’t meet her eyes. Kari had fished around in Vivian’s mind enough to know the woman wouldn’t stay put in the Tower forever.

 

Maybe the Vanguard had noticed it too.

 

Now Ripple trasmatted Vivian and themselves. One moment, she was smiling at Kari, the next she was back on the porch of her new flat.

 

There were other Awoken there now, too. They dropped their crates and pointed their guns at Vivian. She raised her hands.

 

“I live here, too! Petra must’ve said something, right? Right?”

 

A couple of the Awoken were staring at her like they recognized her. Yet, the only words exchanged were to lower their weapons. They kept staring.

 

Vivian ignored their stares, their small whispers among one another as she set about moving in the plants. Though her plans for the indoor pots was stalled when she walked in. Most of the furniture was gone. It was being replaced, she realized. Yet when she set the pots in different places, no one seemed to mind. A few of her- what were they going to be, flatmates?- stopped to touch them. As if they hadn’t seen real flowers before.

 

_How strange._

 

With half the indoor plants where they should be with no space left, she set about setting up the outdoor pots. A normal person wouldn’t be able to move the small trees Vivian had acquired. Yet she pushed them about with somewhat ease. There would be an outdoor area with chairs and tables (and maybe even a grill!) later, but for now the general idea of it was set up. Ferns and flowering bushes were placed against walls, in corners, some under the heavy canvas.

 

When they were done, some of the Awoken offered to help out. Vivian showed them where she wanted pots, planters, and certainly how the irrigation could be set up. Some of them seemed to bear more knowledge than others, but Vivian certainly didn’t mind.

 

By the time everyone was moved, all the furniture and pots and planters and _everything_ was done, the Titan laid down outside on the porch tile. Under the canvas it was far cooler and didn’t burn her skin through her sweat-soaked shirt. The other Awoken were sitting with her, smiling, cracking jokes with each other. Someone had gone out and brought back a cold case of beer, and a cold case of canned pop.

 

“What’s all this, then” Petra called from one of the doorways that led to the porch. “Are we slacking off, now?”

 

A chorus of ‘no, ma’ams’ echoed through the group as they rose to their feet. Vivian kept on her back, her eyes closed. A breeze drifted over them all and it felt _oh so heavenly-_

 

“Guardian.” Petra’s voice broke the beginning of a memory. Vivian opened a single eye and grinned when she saw Petra standing over her. Some of the Awoken around them were hiding their smiles as they watched.

 

“You said I could have my plants.”

 

“I didn’t expect you to go and buy a whole nursery!”

 

“It’s nice though, isn’t it? The inside plants need just a couple sprays from a bottle and you just need to press a button out here in the morning-”

 

“Enough.” Petra shook her head before using her foot to nudge Vivian’s head. The Titan let out a quiet groan before sitting up. It felt like her arms and the back of her neck were glued to the tile as she rose. “Look at you lot. You’re all sun burned. Especially you, Vivian.”

 

“We had fun” Vivian replied. “Just need some salve for them, and Ripple for me. Watch.” She raised her hand. Ripple appeared in a shimmer of Light over her hand. They scanned her face, shoulders, arms and let out a dissatisfied chirp.

 

“I should let you peel” Ripple said as they began to float off. The other Awoken broke into a collective laugh that quickly silenced at Petra’s near scowl.

 

“Rip, hey, please don’t make me look like an ass.”

 

“Suffer.”

 

“ _Please._ ” It wouldn’t hurt now, but certainly later. “I’ll paint you a new shell, promise. Once I get more Glimmer for paint.”

 

There was hesitation. Ripple spun around and instantly shot Vivian’s face with a shimmer of Light. Purple skin shifted back to blue as they continued the beam down to her neck, shoulders, arms, hands, legs.

 

“Thanks, buddy.”

 

“I want one that makes me look like a flower. One of the shiny ones from your dreams.” Once Ripple was done, they floated up to Vivian’s cheek and gently collided with the skin there before vanishing in a shimmer of Light.

 

“So, uh, we have flatmates” Vivian asked Petra. The Guardian got to her feet no issue.

 

“No, they’ll be leaving shortly.” Petra glanced at the Awoken still milling about. They were enjoying the plants, the flowers, just the general environment. “A few may swing by once in a while. Otherwise, it’s just the two of us.”

 

“That’s fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Place your bets on how long it'll take before Petra bans Vivian from purchasing any more plants.


	6. Return to the Nest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A return to form for our little Titan. She meets new people, travels to new places, has a bit of wine. 
> 
> Overall it's a questionably good time.
> 
> Until, you know, it's not.

It was different, working by oneself. Easier to get overwhelmed, ambushed, you name it. Despite the difficulty, Vivian endured. One bounty after another, after another. Eventually the Titan found her pace.

 

“I don’t have anything for you right now” Petra said to Vivian. Her eye didn’t move from the screen in her hand. “Honestly, I’ve been giving you too much work. Other Guardians are complaining that there isn’t enough bounties.”

 

“Is there _anything_ I can do? Even run supplies or something? Please.” It must’ve been her tone that made the Emissary look up. When she did, she could see the bags forming under the young Guardian’s eyes, the half-healed scars clawing their way up under her slightly damaged armor. _Please_ Vivian mouthed, her hands palm-pressed together.

 

“You know what? I do have something you can do.” Petra felt a pang of pity when her flatmate’s face lit up. She wasn’t going to like this. “Take a few days off. Get some rest.”

 

“I don’t need rest. I’ve been meditat-”

 

“Odd. I thought even Guardians needed sleep.”

 

“A lie. We choose to sleep.”

 

“No, they still need to rest” Ripple appeared in a shimmer of Light centimeters above the Titan’s shoulder. “Vivian’s been falling asleep while-”

 

“Hushhh!” Hands swatted at the poor Ghost. Ripple dodged around easily enough before hiding behind Petra’s back. Petra rolled her eye before stepping away. The Ghost merely followed, insisting on using the Emissary as some sort of shield. “Ripple, you’re a jerk. Get over here.”

 

“No. I don’t want to.”

 

“ _Children_ ” Petra let out an exasperated huff. Though calling the woman before her a _child_ likely considering her age…. “Enough. Rest can include doing things other than sleeping, you know?”

 

“I know.”

 

“So, why not...tend to the jungle you’ve decided our porch should become?”

 

Vivian fell silent. Yes, that sounded like a good idea. Her body shifted so she could glance out the glass doors that had been to her back. Two weeks of steady rain and sun and proper watering meant the plants outside had simply _exploded_ with foliage. Many had new growths and some had begun to blossom a second time in the season.

 

“I could get some chairs for out there. So we can relax.”

 

“Exactly. Find something else to do that doesn’t involve Guardian matters.”

 

“I can paint, too.”

 

Petra nodded and made a motion with her hand. She collected the tablet off the island and headed for the door. “Someone might be by with a couple of packages later. _Please_ don’t get into a fight with them?”

 

“No promises.” Vivian saw the other woman stop and turn on her heel. She didn’t even have to look up to _feel_ the glare radiating. “I’m joking! Bad joke, sorry.”

 

“Your sense of humor reminds me of someone. I wonder why.” With that, Petra hurried out the flat before Vivian could question her words. Knowing the Titan’s displeasure of being in the Tower meant a certainty that the conversation would likely be reserved for that night, or a later date.

 

But once more, Vivian was alone. Not fully alone, mind you. She had Ripple and her plants, and the birds and butterflies that graced her plants outside. And so, with nothing better to do and an account full of Glimmer, the Titan changed and set off to the local shops.

 

She returned to the flat before lunch. The air outside was just beginning to heat up and the general buzz of civilians was picking up with it. Ripple transmatted the chairs to an empty part of the porch as their Guardian moved them to where she planned to have the seating area. One of them, anyway.

 

The door leading inside opened. The first thing she could catch in the corner of her eye was the business end of a sidearm. Awoken clearly, judging by the material. Vivian raised her hands a little as Ripple vanished.

 

“I live here, too” she called out to the stranger. Her eyes shifted from the gun pointed at her to the moving curtain, to the person moving it. The man was tall, taller than other Awoken Vivian had seen. He was a sight for sore eyes. Long pale hair tied back in some manner hidden under his hood, pale purple-blue skin with striking green eyes that were only accented by red marks adorning the corners. His armor was similar to the armor she had when she first arrived: dark undersuit and cloak, and light-duty armor. There was no badge like Petra or the others.

 

“You must be the Guardian the Corsairs’re talking about.” The man holstered his gun as he took a few steps outside. His eyes glanced about. “The Jungle Woman.”

 

“Why does everyone call this a jungle- do you lot not know what one looks like?!” Vivian puffed her chest and with a huff hurried off inside. The man followed close behind, almost too close for her liking. Up the stairs, to her room, he still followed. She spun on her heel and was about to strike when she stopped. Turning once more, she moved to her desk and began to sift through pages of illustrations. These didn’t pertain to any sort of proprietary secrets or technology the Awoken had, but were simply of forests and flowers and fields that frequented her dreams.

 

The dreams that stagnated when she was here in the City, yet flourished when between Mars and the Reef. Vivian could only imagine what visions would some to her if she were actually granted admittance to her former home.

 

Finding what she was searching for, Vivian pulled the paper from the stack and handed it to the man. He stared at it with barely any trace of emotion before handing it back to her. The Titan let out a frustrated huff and set the paper back down with the others.

 

“That is no jungle out there.”

 

“It’ll turn to one before you know it.” It was evident to the man he was getting under her skin. As much as she tried to not let it be so, he was only starting to burrow deeper and deeper. Ever more tempting to punch him in his stupid, handsome nose-

 

“I’m only guessing this package is for you.” His hand slipped inside his armor before removing a box wrapped in a deep glimmering purple silk. Vivian stared at the material and felt such a sickening pang of familiarity. As she reached for it the man held the box outside of her reach. “But but but, before I just hand this off to _some Guardian_ , I need to validate your identity.”

 

“You’re shitting me. You think we carry little _cards_ or something?” Vivian grit her teeth and clenched her hands. Her blood was beginning to boil. The temptation to really sock him in the jaw was growing. Something inside her told her that hurting him would only set back her efforts to return _home_.

 

“Do you have a way to identify yourself, then?”

 

The pair stood there in silence for what seemed like ages. They were both sizing the other up. Vivian didn’t know if she had the strength or speed to outmaneuver or overpower. She didn’t fully know her own strength yet.

 

“Wait.” She raised a finger. “Petra bet me three months’ rent that I couldn’t get my old armor back. Did you know she’s bad at gambling?” The Titan turned to her bed and got down on her knees.

 

“Petra Venj? Bad at gambling?” He let out a quiet raspberry which earned a loud laugh from Vivian. “Never would’ve guessed.” The smile that was forming on his features vanished as he caught a glimpse of just what she was retrieving.

 

“Let me change. Leave. Shoo. Shoo.” Vivian set the armor down on her bed and began to motion towards the man. He seemed stunned, his eyes glued to the familiar armor. She had to physically push him out to her porch, close the door and curtains, to finally achieve privacy.

 

This porch was by far smaller than the first floor area and was only made worse by just how many plants there were. The man found a chair and sat down in it. Where it resided, a gentle breeze graced his face, the sun was just out of his eyes, yet the wall of the City loomed overhead. He pulled a rifle scope out and used it to look straight up to the Tower. He could see Petra’s ship from here, and the faintest bit of red.

 

“Hey perv.” Vivian poked her head out from the curtain and broke the man’s concentration. “Stop bein’ a perv before I gouge your eyes out.”

 

“I don’t think Petra would be too fond of you doing that” the man warned as he got to his feet. “I am no pervert, Guardian. You’ll do best to remember-” His words caught in his throat.

 

Vivian stood before him in the armor she rezzed in. It was discolored from an explosion, armor plating warped. The black feathers lining her hood were singed. Every little movement seemed to force another couple fall to the ground. Undersuit had holes, whole parts completely burned. The leg armor itself was stained with red from a wound long since healed. A losing battle was adorned in the old armor.

 

“This is what I...I rezzed in. It’s Crow. You’re Crow, too, right?”

 

“How do you know that?” He shook his head as his brows furrowed together.

 

“I asked some of the Corsairs that came by with the last supply shipment. Asked 'em bout this kit.” The Titan moved her arm but stopped. If she were to raise it any further it would expose parts of herself she’d rather some stranger _not_ see. “Don’t ask how I got it back.”

 

“How’d you get it back?”

 

“Traveler be damned- I just said _not_ to ask!” Closing the gap between them now she reached up to his hood. The man dodged her grasp only to grab her arm, spin her around, and force her on her knees. A knife she hadn’t even seen was drawn, its blade pressed hard enough against her pale blue skin to draw the smallest trail of red blood.

 

“Don’t touch me.” His words hissed above her head. Time seemed to slow, almost stop as she struggled against him. “You’re rusty. I guess... if you ever want to tips you’ll have to find me.” He finally released her, but not before catching a glimpse of the faded symbol painted on her back armor.

 

As Ripple appeared and began to heal the cut in her throat Vivian glared daggers at him. She didn’t speak until Ripple vanished once more.

 

“And what sort of nest do I find you in?”

 

“You’re a Crow, aren’t you? Do you damn job and you’ll figure it out.” Before he turned to the door he tossed the box to Vivian. “Don’t get caught again, Mou.”

 

“Mou?” She didn’t get an answer. Nor did she pursue further for one. She waited for the man to leave her room, listened for his near-silent footsteps, then for the front door to open and shut.

 

Vivian was alone again. Alone with the plants and Ripple.

 

With trembling hands she unwrapped the box. The material was soft for what it appeared to be, and incredibly thin. It felt achingly familiar yet she couldn’t place her Glimmer on exactly where she’d felt it before. Even the box seemed familiar. And when she opened it, her eyes went wide.

 

Her badge sat inside on a lavender pillow. She could smell some type of perfume or something on the pillow itself. It all felt so familiar.

 

Tears filled her eyes and began to stream down her cheeks. How much of a fool she felt! To someone who _knew_ it all had to be laughable, a joke.

 

“It’s pretty” Ripple said as they appeared over her shoulder. “Much better looking now that it’s not, well, _dented._ ”

 

“Thanks.” Vivian set the box and wrapping down on her desk and began to change out of her old armor. It was far too gone to even bother having it repaired.

 

_Keep it just in case,_ Petra had suggested. _Many will_ _know you more by your armor than your face._

 

She had been right on that, at least. Before fully disrobing, the thought that maybe her room could be bugged came to her mind. Search every corner, every leaf of every plant, spending nearly two hours simply satiating her paranoid thought. In the end, there wasn’t anything. Ripple gave the room a one over and agreed that nothing had been left behind.

 

Once changed back to a simple tunic and pants, Vivian held the box in her hand once more. It felt like there were butterflies in her stomach as her eyes examined every little detail of _her_ badge. It felt like a part of her was fixed, put back into place. Turning it over in her hands, she stared at the inscription in the gold backing.

 

_Vivian Mou._ The Crow called her Mou. That was her name, wasn’t it? Nothing wrong with going by it again.

 

“You can always go by any name you want” Ripple reminded her. Being there were no bugs nor other occupants of the flat, they elected to remain visible, floating at their Guardian’s shoulder. “You don’t have to go by your first-life name.”

 

“I want to go by my old name.”

 

Ripple let out a sigh. Breathless, as they were but a machine.

 

“Fine. Just _please_ don’t go digging into your past life.”

 

“Why not? I’ve had visions of my old life. I want to know-”

 

“You’re not _allowed_ to, Vivian. It can cause problems.”

 

Vivian glared at her little Ghost. Who had any right to tell her if she could find out the truths that led to where she was today? She could think of at least one: Zavala. The man was stubborn, a Titan trait surely. The two Awoken had equal measures of stubbornness. But Zavala had authority. Authority of the Tower.

 

Not authority in the Reef.

 

“I know what you’re thinking. No.”

 

“And just what am I thinking, Ripple?”

 

“You want to go to the Reef. Your duty remains here at the Tower.”

 

“Surrounded by people who hate me.”

 

“Not everyone hates you. Not Cayde, or Ikora, or Kari.”

 

“Okay, so three people out of...what, millions?”

 

“They couldn’t possibly all know you, Vivian.” Ripple’s shell shifted. They felt the shift in their Guardian, that aching loneliness. “I know you feel all alone out here. We just have to...find friends. Good friends.”

 

“And what of the friends I once had?”

 

“You’ve been dead for at least two centuries. Probably more. They’ve moved on. It wouldn’t be fair to come back to them after so long.” Their voice lowered once they saw Vivian’s teary eyes. “We can find friends here.”

 

That was why she wanted to keep working. She wanted to just stay away from other Guardians. Especially other Titans. Cruel irony had added her to their ranks. Seemingly thoughtless, inconsiderate, loud, boisterous, often violent types. They often poked jokes at her expense.

 

Vivian let out a sob as her hands moved the badge close to her heart. The pain was too much to just swallow now. Stepping back, the Titan flopped down unto her bed, head resting just below her pillow. The glue that held her pieces felt like it was coming undone, disintegrating, allowing her to fall apart.

 

Thoughts of Chip, his broken, melted body, came back. They came in waves. The smell of death, rot, Hive, fried circuits. Kari’s sobs, her sniffles, her quiet goodbyes.

 

It was all her fault. At first she didn’t feel a thing. Why now?

 

Ripple could only watch. They moved closer, nudging their shell into the Awoken’s exposed, crooked neck. What their Guardian felt, so did they. If they could cry, they would. Such overwhelming sadness, loneliness, grief. It almost felt too much for the two of them to handle.

 

Before she knew it, Vivian’s sobs quieted down. Drowsiness overtook her shivering frame. Ripple helped the best they could, easing the physical pains in her chest.

 

* * *

 

 

_The birds descended from the sky. A wave of energy swept through their numbers breaking wings, necks, crushing skulls._

 

_Vivian tried to scream out. Scream that they needed to stay hidden. Her words never left her throat. The white bird leading the group was nowhere to be seen._

 

_Each death dealt pain. Every one of the poor creatures that hadn’t died in the sky died from the drop. Few of the injured birds flew off, flying the opposite direction._

 

_There was one Vivian caught. She held it close to her body. Its wings were violently ripped from its body. Blood poured from its wounds. Before the creature passed it pressed its head to her chest._

 

* * *

 

 

The Titan cried out when she awoke. Petra took a few steps back as she tried to hide the worry off her face.

 

“Nightmare?” The Emissary stepped closer when Vivian didn’t reply. She could recognize that look of terror, the empty stare. Seen it in so many before. This Guardian who’d barely been alive for a year seemed to have the fears of one a hundred times her age. “Talk to me, Guardian.”

 

If what Petra heard was true, that number would technically be larger.

 

Vivian seemed to break from her daze. She blinked a few times. Tears streamed down wet cheeks. Sheets where her head had been a few minutes prior were lightly stained. Ripple appeared in their trademark shimmer. Instead of simply residing in the air, they pressed their shell to her neck.

 

“Same one as before” Ripple told Petra. “Same one as always. There was something different though.”

 

“What was different?”

 

“The thing that killed the birds...it was some kind of energy. Evil, dark. Nothing I’d ever seen or felt before. That’s the thing. It felt _real._ ”

 

“Awoken have prophetic dreams, Ghost. Some feel more real than others.”

 

Ripple didn’t know how to react. That was certainly true from what the Ghosts of other Reefborn and Earthborn Awoken said. None of them were having similar dreams, either.

 

“You need to warn the Queen, Petra.” Vivian finally spoke. Her voice was rough, deep, quiet. “Something bad’s going to happen. I don’t know when, or how, but...”

 

“I’ll speak to the Techeuns. See if any of them have been having any similar premonitions. If not,” Petra shrugged, “not much we can do.”

 

“I could talk to her myself.”

 

“No. Out of the question.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I’m not letting you cause a diplomatic emergency, Viv.”

 

Vivian puffed her cheeks out. She reached up and began to use the back of her hand to wipe them. The same hand which held her badge. Petra reached out. The Titan hesitated but for a moment before handing the badge over.

 

“I remember a few of the Paladins used to wear something similar. Back when I was younger.” Petra turned it in her hands. “Think they changed the design when Queen Mara became, well, Queen.”

 

“She was never for stuffy formalities. _That_ I remember.” Vivian’s cheeks sunk a little as she stared past Petra’s legs. “The style...it came from the Distributary. If I’m remembering right.”

 

“How much _do_ you remember, exactly?” Petra moved closer, pushing broken armor aside to sit down next to the Titan. “If you’re willing to share.”

 

“Home. Before the Reef, mostly.” It was far, far deeper than that. But Vivian struggled to put it to words. “It’s hard to...there’s so much, and just...none of it’s in order.” Out of order, and it all felt deeply personal. After Cayde’s last sudden visit Petra had helped Vivian find a proper hiding place for her journals and vowed never to touch them.

 

“Do you remember anything about the Reef at all?” The pair sat there, Petra watching Vivian as the Titan fiddled with her hands. Together they sat in silence as the Guardian struggled to recall anything. Finally opening her eyes, Vivian shook her head. “Nothing wrong with that.”

 

“I want to learn about my first life, Petra. Even if I have to use outside sources.”

 

“I can’t help you with that. Sorry Vivian.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Doesn’t your Vanguard forbid such? So does our culture. It’s old history.”

 

The Titian stood on her feet. Her legs shook but didn’t buckle as she turned to her fellow Reefborn.

 

“It’s _my_ history, Petra. _My_ memories. If you lost all your memories of your friends and family, lost your name, wouldn’t you fight to gain at least some shred of your identity back?”

 

Silence befell the pair. They stared at one another, blue eyes interlocked, searching one another’s souls.

 

Petra let out a sigh and so too stood to her feet. She crossed her arms over her chest.

 

“You’re an old Crow. Part of the job is information gathering. All I can say is,” she let out a small huff and rolled her eye, “get high enough credentials and you’ll see more than a civilian.”

 

“...Okay.” So, spying. “Just to be clear, I am no spy.”

 

“You are now, Guardian.”

 

* * *

 

 

For the first time since her resurrection, Vivian crossed the threshold between Vanguard and Awoken space. At first a pair of Awoken ships- _Galliots,_ Petra told her the term before leaving, followed until Ripple sent the credentials they got from their flatmate. Once verified, they led the Guardian deeper into the Reef.

 

Something about the space junk, the floating ships and debris and ice and rock made Vivian incredibly nervous.

 

“It’s because you died smashing nose-first into an asteroid” Ripple explained. “If the death is violent it can leave a mark on the Guardian. Just, uh...please don’t do it again, yeah?”

 

“Course. Smash into the biggest rock we can find? Got it.”

 

“No no no! Not what I meant, Vi!”

 

“Course it’s what you meant.”

 

“Vivian-!”

 

Vivian snorted and flashed a toothy grin. Ripple’s shell shifted and angled downwards in front of their optical as a sort of frown. Her smile died as they drew closer to a collection of asteroids and a large Fallen ship.

 

“Apparently there’s hundreds of habitats out here. The ones further out have been attacked by the Fallen for ages. The Reef Wars, if you remember Petra- you’re not listening. Vivian?”

 

The Titan’s attention was focused elsewhere. Her eyes were stuck facing forward, her hands white-knuckling the stick.

 

_The first time Vivian could get a break in...how long? A month at least? Waves of hysteria were hitting the Awoken all around them. It was hitting her, too, but as one of the only fully trained midwives Mara had brought along, her workload had been loaded. Birth after birth._

 

_Uldren remained close. She hadn’t seen him since they departed to their ships before they left the Distributary. He seemed concern. Was it the bags under her eyes, her hair barely pinned together, or the fact her walk was so slow he’d been gently pushing her forward by the small of her back?_

 

_No matter. They were here, together. Just them. A rarity, really. The large window before them let in light from some unknown source. It washed the deck and the pair in purple light. Asteroids and space debris floated along lazily. A few pieces here and there bounced off the hull. It reminded Vivian of a hailstorm._

 

_“There’s nothing out here” Vivian said out loud. Uldren rocked his head back in forth._

 

_“That’s what it looks like to you. Mara sees infinite potential. I see it, too.”_

 

_“I see potential in the babes I help bring to this chaos, Uldren. They’ll ride this hysteria in years they will never remember.” She used her free hand that wasn’t holding unto him to rub the bridge of her nose. Her eyes ached staring at the light._

 

_“Has it afflicted you, too, then?” The grip on her back was beginning to tighten. Yet the hand didn’t lower, but simply kept its place._

 

_“Hasn’t it you as well? What about Mara, Sjur?”_

 

_“Sjur’s been having dreams. If Mara’s having any...she’s not sharing.”_

 

_“Course not.” She shrugged before tilting her head to rest against his shoulder. “Gotta be the strongest or else this plan falls apart, yeah?”_

 

_“I didn’t bring you away from the medical ship just for discourse.” Now the hand parted from her back. The small frown on Uldren’s face was enough to cause Vivian to crack a small smile. His frown softened just a little._

 

_“Easy, Uldren. Your face’ll stick like that if you hold it long enough.” Her growing smile caused him to only roll his eyes. It was her turn to move her hand from his back to his shoulder. They stopped in place as she kissed his lips. There wasn’t enough energy in her bones for passion. Simple, lazy kisses ones would expect just waking up. By the time they pulled away from one another, her cheeks were a little blushed and a gentle smile came to his face. “There, that’s better. Now take me wherever you want before I sleep in a damn corner.”_

 

By the time reality returned, her ship was stopped in front of a large dock. It wasn’t the Hangar in the Tower, but it felt more like... _home._

 

Ripple transmatted her out of the ship. At first she panicked. Outside in space without a helmet on? It was her resurrection all over again.

 

Until recycled air hit her lungs. Not as fresh as Earth’s air but it was better than nothing. Some of the guards glanced at her, rifles in hand, as they stood at ease. Since she hadn’t drawn a gun they didn’t bother to dash her brains across the floor.

 

“Ah, there she is. The new gopher.” The man who’d visited a month prior sat on a rounded Fallen crate. A sniper nearly as long as he was tall was strapped to his back. “I see you got a, ah, demotion.”

 

“More a promotion than anything.” Vivian could only kill so many of the Reef’s enemies before others would demand a share. It had only sharpened her abilities. Just enough for Zavala to _very_ reluctantly agree to allow her to come here in the first place.

 

“Whatever you say, Guardian.” He got up and slid off the crate. Adjusting his rifle he motioned for her to follow. Together, the pair walked to one of the Fallen-styled doors that were obscured from the bright purple light of the Reef. He knocked on it a few times before it opened. “I’m only doin’ this cause you’re an old Crow, got it?”

 

“Course. And then you’ll have a Guardian who owes you. What more could anyone want?”

 

“It’ll depend when the situation rises.”

 

“Hm.” Vivian followed close as they descended down the flight of stairs. The only source of light were yellow gas lights in the walls above their heads. Once at the bottom, he knocked on another door. A minute passed before he knocked again but with more force.

 

“Your badge, Crow.”

 

“Oh, right.” She went to a pocket inside her armor she’d sewn in and pulled it out. As soon as the light hit the purple and gold hues the door opened. “Didn’t know it was a key, too. Nice.”

 

The man rolled his eyes and led her inside. There were maybe a dozen others here, too, all dressed like him. They all stared, fell silent with drinks in their hands. He grabbed her hand and forced her to follow through the crowd.

 

“Where’d you get the Guardian, Jolyon” one of the other Crows called out.

 

“Petra’s new little gopher. She wants to get back in the swing of things.”

 

“Not for the Vanguard, I hope” another shouted.

 

“If they knew I was here they’d probably kill me for good” Vivian replied. A few of the Crows began to laugh, to cheer. It seemed infectious- by the time her comrade dragged her across the room everyone was laughing and cheering. _Finally if the job was too dangerous they could pawn it off on someone else! Someone who could actually afford to die for once!_

 

The pair reached another room through yet another door. Once it closed, the joyous roar nearly deafened. He set his rifle against the wall and flopped down in the nest of cushions and pillows that took up a good portion of the room.

 

“Kick off your boots, relax a little.”

 

He didn’t think she would transmat her armor off. Vivian adjusted her dark tunic before sitting down in the corner.

 

“Tell me, tell me. Why do you trust me, Guardian?”

 

“If you try to kill me you’ll ruin all these pillows. Everyone out there will probably kick your ass and hand you in to your boss.”

 

“Do you even know who my boss is?”

 

“...No.”

 

“Of course not” he scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Petra really told you nothing, huh?”

 

“She said anything pertaining to my past is old history. That it's the sort of thing everyone sort of says shouldn’t be unearthed again.”

 

“Well, it’s current events so I don’t know- you know what,” he shifted a little before removing a tablet from some pocket. The screen lit his face up just enough. He handed the tablet to Vivian. “Here, just use this to answer all your questions. I’m getting a damn drink.”

 

“Okay.”

 

The door closed as her comrade left. She was alone save for Ripple who finally appeared in a shimmer of light.

 

First thing she searched for was her own name. The results shocked her.

 

Nothing of a soldier, but of a doctor. Surgeon, midwife, pediatrician, general doctor, a dabbler in reproductive medicine. The number saved in her years were many. Some claim that a discernible population of Reefborn wouldn’t be alive if not for her efforts.

 

When her comrade returned, he did so with two glasses. He set one down next to Vivian and then flopped down next to her. Peering over, he glanced over what she was reading.

 

“What ya learnin’ there, Mou?”

 

“I was a doctor.”

 

He burst out in laughter. She nearly slapped him with the tablet in her hand but found _just enough_ restraint not to.

 

“Oh, that’s fucking rich! Please, fucking _please_ Mou. Tell me you’re bullshitting me.”

 

“It also says I was the Queen before Mara.”

 

“Okay. Now you're just a shitty liar.” He downed half his glass before setting it down on the ledge built just above his head.

 

“Jolyon, right? That’s what one of ‘em called you out there.” She set the tablet on her lap before picking up her glass. She sniffed its contents, its fruity yet fermented smell feeling familiar. One sip was all she needed before downing the whole glass in a few gulps.

 

“Yeah. Hey- don’t drink too much or else Petra’ll fire you.”

 

Vivian waved him off as she set the glass down. She’d only have the one glass unless he was the one who’d offer her more.

 

“So you were a...doctor. What else?”

 

“There’s not much else here.” Scrolling through all the results, there was mostly gossip and rumor mill garbage. Stuff that only annoyed her. “Just, uh...useless junk.”

 

“Disappointing, huh?” Jolyon leaned back against the wall and cushions. “Figured you’d find your whole life story here, right?”

 

“Not quite, but...” she had figured there would be more to it than just a one over of her official career. Something more about her personal life. But maybe that was just it. That because of whom her relations were with that it remained a secret.

 

Her glance turned from the tablet to Jolyon as he jumped up with haste. His hand hovered above his ear as the buzz outside the door suddenly seemed to stop. He took a breath and straightened his posture.

 

“Master of Crows is here to see what has returned to us.”

 


	7. Reconciliation of Familiar Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our forlorn Titan meets old acquaintances that lead to worsened circumstances and a choice: to remain in the Tower, serve the Last City and the Traveler, or return to the Reef, to her friends? One Guardian may not be enough to tip the scales but certainly is more than enough to rock the boat.

The bar outside of the lounge room had fallen silent. The Crows all lowered their gazes, remained quiet, as their leader stepped by.

 

First it had been the report from the border, then it was the mutterings here at the Outpost.

 

“I heard we have an old member of our family back” Uldren Sov announced to the bar. A few of the Crows looked up, a few others nodded. “Tell me, did anyone catch a name?”

 

“No, sir” one of the group replied. “Just that Jolyon led her to the lounge.”

 

Ah. Of course Jolyon would have a hand in this. The poor man was terrible at keeping secrets. But to try to keep this a secret from Uldren? That wouldn’t do. They’d have to have a discussion later. Even now as the Prince stepped towards the lounge he felt his stomach twist in knots.

 

Someone dared use that name. The name of someone who’d been so close to him, to his sister, for so long. In the corners of his mind he could hear her laughter, her words. It had been hundreds of years since her sudden, violent, mysterious passing. But now those feelings of loss and pain were back tenfold.

 

The door opened before he got close enough. Jolyon stood there, his hands relaxed behind his back. The man’s rifle was nowhere to be seen. Uldren assumed it was likely nested in the corner. Before he could force the man back into the room and give him an earful, another figure stepped forward.

 

A woman, shorter than Jolyon, and maybe half a head shorter than Uldren. Her fire red hair was short, cut at the jaw. The armor she wore was certainly Crow, but beyond repair. Signs of fatal wounds were apparent across the undersuit, legs, and chest armor. Yet, there wasn’t a scratch on the pale blue skin that showed under those gaps. She had the same electric blue eyes that seemed to read his mind. But her face appeared dirty with soot. Only thing that seemed to not be burned or broken or battered was the badge adorned at the corner of her chest piece.

 

Her shoulders were slumped a little, her head tipped down but it was those eyes that stared at him. The look on her face was that of remembrance, of shock. Shock that he was still alive, perhaps?

 

She reeked of Light.

 

A Guardian now, for sure. How ironic.

 

Uldren didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he took one and let it out in a quiet sigh. The bar surrounding them were all watching, all silent. Stepping inside the room, he pushed Jolyon back until he fell into the cushions, and the door shut.

 

“How long were you going to avoid telling me” he asked the taller man as he stood over him. Jolyon didn’t seem concerned, not entirely. But it was when Uldren turned to the Guardian that he seemed nervous. “Don’t they teach you to clean your damn faces in that Tower of yours?”

 

Vivian nodded but stepped back when Uldren walked towards her. He grabbed her arm, forced her close, before licking a finger and rubbing her temple. Whatever he thought he was going to remove, it wasn’t going to work.

 

“Uh, um...it won’t come off. Trust me, I’ve tried.” She flashed the faintest of smiles up at Uldren but it vanished at his returned glare.

 

“How did this come about, then? The Vivian of old never had such markings.”

 

“Maybe from when I crashed nose-first into a ball of rock and ice?” With a shrug, Vivian flashed another nervous smile. It didn’t dissuade the Prince’s glare at her.

 

“Leave. Now.”

 

She didn’t have to be told twice. Gathering up her glass, she stole one look at Jolyon before making her way out of the room. Uldren didn’t stop glaring at her until the door closed. But now in the main body of the bar, more eyes were focused on her.

 

“Um...hi, everyone, uh...” Too many eyes. Too many looking right at her. There were a dozen different emotions within this crowd. Her eyes fluttered shut but opened when someone approached. They led her to a chair and helped ease her down in it. Someone else brought over a bottle and poured some of its contents into her glass. Another set a small plate of food down next to her.

 

Her eyes watched as one of the Crows pulled up a chair and sat down with her. He waved the others off but that didn’t stop them from continuing to stare.

 

“Don’t mind ‘em. Most of ‘em have had nothing but bad times with Guardians. First time any stepped through these doors dressed like one of us. Been through the wringer a few times, huh?”

 

“You can say that, yeah. My normal armor doesn’t...look much better.” Not that Vivian could really help it. Most of the armor she’d been finding didn’t seem to jive with her  _look_ too much. That and Petra promised that armor from the Reef would begin to be shipped out for those who worked the most with her. Just a waiting game by now.

 

“Word is you work for Petra? She’s got you just running errands?” He watched as the Titan downed the next glass of alcohol and begin to eat the food offered. “Seems like she’s starvin’ ya.”

 

“No, I didn’t think I would be gone this long and skipped breakfast.” The food wasn’t the greatest, but it was better than nutrient gel. Anything was better save from actually starving. “She told me I was going through her bounties too fast. To save some for others.”

 

The Crow slapped his knee and let out a laugh. Half the room began to nervously laugh, too. Meanwhile all the Titan could do was flash a small smile before stuffing her face full of food. Her table-mate’s laughter began to die as he extended a gloved hand.

 

“Bertok Coy. If you’ve ever a few days to spare when you’re not doing...whatever it is you Guardians do...I can give you a few bits of advice. You’re allowed that, right?”

 

“I think so.” She shook his hand. “Vivian Mou.”

 

The room fell to whispers. There was enough muttering for Vivian to not pick up on it all. Bertok turned from Vivian and pulled out his hand cannon.

 

“Ya’ll better be talkin’ nice bout our friend here. Specially if she's important enough for our boss to give us a visit.” A few of the Crows laughed as the crowd began to disperse. None of them left the vicinity but simply returned to the tables or bar. “That’s what I thought. So, Mou, any reason Uldren Sov himself would come out here to see you?”

 

“We were friends in my first life. Back before the Reef.” The revelation, as sudden as it was, caused the room to fall to silence again. Heads turned back, eyes stared at the Titan.

 

“Friends or _friends-friends_?”

 

Vivian was about to quip back when the door to the lounge opened. Uldren and Jolyon walked out together shoulder-to-shoulder. As they walked by, the Prince grabbed Vivian by the arm and forced her along.

 

“Carry on” he announced as the trio walked out. Back out to the open, the purple light. The people present stared as he continued to pull Vivian along with Jolyon moving to her opposite side.

 

“I can walk just fine- _let go of me._ ” Something had soured her mood. The twisting and flipping of her stomach was replaced with a sinking feeling of dread. An anger from somewhere she couldn’t pinpoint was beginning to boil her blood.

 

They stopped for a moment. Long enough for Uldren to slap her across the face with his hand. Jolyon caught her, his face calm but his eyes showing concern. It took every cell in Vivian’s body to _not_ return the favor.

 

“You will not have that tone of voice around me, do you understand?” Uldren’s voice was just loud enough to echo off the nearby walls. Now it felt like more faces were turned, watching the spectacle.

 

Ripple appeared and buzzed in front of her face.

 

“You don’t hit my Guardian like that-”

 

“Rip, no. It’s fine. I was out of line.” At her words, Ripple spun around. “I apologize, sir. For our outburst. It won’t happen again.”

 

“See to it that it doesn’t.”

 

Vivian could tell Ripple was fuming. They wanted to lash out, fight back. They were unaware at the game being played, the sort of dance that was taking place. She’d have to explain to them later. For now, she nodded. Ripple’s shell shifted before vanishing once more.

 

With Jolyon’s hand on her shoulder, the trio stepped up to a large Fallen-style door that soon opened for them.

 

“Thought you were gonna deck him right in the face for a moment there” Jolyon commented just loud enough for Uldren to hear.

 

“I wouldn’t dare.” Vivian was surprised how quiet her voice came out. Even she could barely hear herself. “I-I-”

 

“Silence. Both of you.” Uldren started down the hall. Jolyon and Vivian followed close behind. The guards along the walls bowed their heads as the Prince passed. Down the hall, then a right.

 

The deeper they went, the more the Guardian could smell the faintest of incense being burned. It was the same scent from the pillow her badge had been placed upon. No wonder it was so familiar then, and now. It smelled like home.

 

“Where are you taking me” she asked, louder than her previous words but only just.

 

“You’re not wearing scraps in front of the Queen. As amusing it may be.” The Prince didn’t turn to talk to her, didn’t even look at her.

 

Oh. Oh no. Her stomach wanted to jump up her throat. All this was supposed to be was a supply pickup. She needed to let Petra know, so she could in turn figure out what to tell the Vanguard. Vivian wasn’t defecting, no, no, no.

 

“I was supposed to just pick up some supplies and head back. If I take too long-”

 

Uldren stopped suddenly. Vivian was expecting another blow, another stinging cheek. A wave of sadness fell over her when he turned to look at her then Jolyon. The anger that was there minutes ago was gone. He tried to hide it but it almost looked like he was in pain.

 

“Our Queen wishes to see you. Would you really run away now?”

 

“N-no. No, my lord.” The Titan began to wring her own fingers. She hadn’t realized the habit until he glanced down, and she stopped. His lips moved as if he were about to say something. But with a shake of his head, turned back around and continued down the hall.

 

Jolyon began to follow. He stole a glance from Uldren to Vivian, brows raised, and a shrug of his shoulders. The Guardian blinked a few times and hurried up to join the pair.

 

After however much walking, Uldren stopped them at a door. He moved to a keypad and began to type something in the alien screen. There was a couple of chirps, sounds of locks disengaging before the door opened.

 

The room itself had one large window covered with a heavy curtain. Lights hung from overhead, painted in different colors that cast little beams of colored light upon the thick carpet placed in the center of the room. A desk was set to one side covered with stacks of books, papers, dead plants, dried paints, dust.

 

“I thought you said this room was off limits” Jolyon whispered to Uldren. The pair stayed just outside the room as Vivian took the first few tentative steps inside.

 

“Do you remember?” Uldren only glanced at Jolyon as he stood at the door, arms crossed. “What is this room, Guardian?”

 

She closed her eyes, took a breath, and opened her eyes.

 

“It’s...the room I had a few days before I died.” As the memories began to return Vivian stepped to a door to the side. The door itself was partially blocked by the large desk yet it opened at her approach. Inside was some type of ancient storage: crates of unpacked things, an old easel still folded up, and a rack with clothes still hanging neatly. “I never finished unpacking everything.”

 

The answer satisfied the Prince. He stepped inside to the curtain and pulled it open. Purple light washed out the smaller beams of light and lit the room in its glow. He watched as the Titan began to open crates that had been sealed for centuries, waiting for their owner to return home.

 

Every little trinket, every box held small memories. And every item she touched brought fragments of those memories back. Many of which were from their old home, before this place. Before the Reef. As much as she’d love to spend the day going through her old things, she couldn’t. Closing the ‘closet’ door from her side she began removing her old armor.

 

Ripple appeared and began to scan the crates and the items therin.

 

“Where’s all this from? It’s old. Older than The Collapse.”

 

“The Distributary. They let me bring my belongings.” Vivian turned to her Ghost. “I feel like I’m home for the first time in my...second life.”

 

“I know. But you can’t stay. We need to go...” they couldn’t say the word. Not with the tears forming in their Guardian’s eyes. This was a bad idea, the worst idea. “I could transmat everything to the flat, if you want.”

 

“No. Leave it here.” No point in avoiding the subject. Not with something that could see her thoughts. “I’ll be back soon to unpack it all.”

 

“You’re a Guardian now, Vivian. Your duty is to Humanity, the City, the Traveler.”

 

“Are the people of the Reef not part of Humanity?” The question silenced the pair of them for a while. She set her old armor aside and grabbed the skin-tight undersuit hanging on the rack. It still fit rather comfortably. More than even her Guardian undersuit. Clearly judging by its thinner material it wasn't suited for combat nor exposure to space. Now she grabbed a deep purple tunic whose length extended in the back and slipped it on. Its oversize sleeves could be tied up on the inside near her wrists. “Leave the armor here. I don’t think I’m going to need it in the foreseeable future.”

 

Well, there was one thing she’d need. She removed the badge from her old armor and set it on a patch of fabric sitting in the upper right part of her chest.

 

“They’re not going to be happy. We might be barred from the City altogether. It’ll cause relations to strain-”

 

“Then maybe they need to offer more than the whole ‘work in service for the Greater Good’ spiel.” She stepped closer to the door and watched it open. Jolyon stood with Uldren and the pair seemed to be in the middle of conversation. Uldren gave her a one over and a small nod.

 

* * *

 

 

Those butterflies returned the closer they got to the throne room. Vivian’s mouth had gone dry. Her hands wrung themselves as they approached the large door. A guard on each side of the door bowed to Uldren.

 

Before the Titan was ready, the door slid open, its halves sliding to the ceiling and floor. Jolyon gently pressed his hand to her back as the trio entered the room and approached the throne.

 

If the Queen was shocked, or surprised, or even happy, Vivian couldn’t tell. The woman held a calm face, just as she did in the Guardian's memories. Ever calm, ever cold.

 

“Is this what has had my brother in such a frenzy all afternoon?” Her eyes moved over each Crow before resting on the Guardian between them. Uldren stepped up the dais and stood next to Mara’s throne.

 

“I had to confirm the reports.”

 

“So is it our long-lost friend, dear brother?”

 

Before the Prince could speak Vivian took a step forward. Her hands were clenched together in front of her stomach.

 

“One time when we were spending the night near a lake you opted we go fishing. We didn’t have proper rods or the like, why would we? So Uldren sharpened a few branches on the ground and we used them as spears. You slipped in the mud and nearly got one through the arm. He had to hold your wound closed as I applied the bandages and cytogel. Uh...sir, you were crying the whole time worried she was going to bleed out.”

 

Mara tipped her head a little before standing on her feet. She stepped down the dais with Uldren at toe, stopping before the Guardian. The room fell to silence as she reached up and began to rub at the markings on Vivian’s face.

 

“It won’t come off, my lady. M-Mara, please...ow...” Blue eyes shut as the pressure increased on her face. As much as she wanted to slap the offending hand away she couldn’t. She also couldn’t pull the twins into an embrace without getting shot. Would it be worth it? Likely not.

 

“What was your job in your previous life?” Mara’s question threw the Guardian off for a moment. The Queen returned to her throne and sat back down in it.

 

“Surgeon, doctor, midwife. Uh...that’s bout it so far.”

 

“Do you remember your family? Your children?”

 

“I don’t remember. I’ve only recovered part of my memories.” _The simpler times,_ the Guardian thought to herself.

 

“You don’t remember your lover?”

 

At the question, Vivian felt her cheeks flush. Uldren shifted his weight from one leg to another, a frown forming on his face. The faintest of smiles crossed Mara’s lips.

 

“Well?”

 

“I do remember. Remember their kindness and patience and loyalty they showed few others.” Her eyes couldn’t stop glancing over as the Prince seemed to shift in his own skin. They probably had the similar instinct to dodge out of there and hide away. Somewhere away from prying questions, staring eyes.

 

“Will you return home. To the Reef then?”

 

“My lady...I would love to. My fear extends to how relations would strain if I decided to remain.” Searching the Queen’s face for even a scant bit of emotion, she only found the smallest bit of acceptance.

 

“Very well. When you tire of your Tower’s games, you will prove your loyalty, and should you succeed, find your place here again.” Mara nodded. Jolyon took hold of Vivian’s arm and led her out of the throne room, door closing behind the pair. She didn't speak until the Crow and Guardian were out of earshot. “How long do you think before our Vivian returns, brother?”

 

“Conservative guess would be a month. Could be next week, or three days from now.” Uldren relaxed once they left. He turned to face Mara sitting cross-legged in her throne. “Must you bring up our previous relationship?”

 

“She still wears it.” She pointed to her neck. “The poor thing hasn’t a clue what it means.”

 

“Neither does anyone else.” He crossed his arms and closed his eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

Vivian hurried on board her ship, kicked the engines on, and turned on the radio.

 

“Petra? Hey, I’m back.”

 

“Where the hell have you been?! Commander Zavala has been breathing down my neck all day asking for status updates!” Petra’s anger could be felt through the comms. It was certainly enough to make the Titan recoil towards her chair.

 

“Got caught up with old friends. And- _wait_ ,” she could hear the woman on the other end of the line take a breath. “I didn’t seek them out, Petra. It just sort of...fell in my lap.”

 

“You spoke...with the Queen, then?”

 

“Yes.”

 

An audible, almost shaky sigh passed over the comm. It was news that wouldn’t be good for any of them.

 

“Like I said, I didn’t-”

 

“Part of the terms for you going out there was to keep your head low. It’s not going to look like you kept your head low if you had a conversation with-”

 

“Uldren. He caught wind I was there. Petra, please don’t blame yourself for any of this. Please...”

 

Ripple gave a spin of their shell. Vivian moved the stick as the Vestian Outpost swung out of view. She let her Ghost control the ship through the channel. Her hands were shaking the whole time. A few smaller rocks and debris hit the ship and caused her to jump.

 

“When you get here, they want to see you.”

 

“Okay.” _And in the meat grinder I go,_ Vivian thought to herself. Closing her eyes as the channel grew smaller, she could see them again so vividly. Her chest ached, either from nervousness or homesickness.

 

* * *

 

 

The ride back to Earth got better once she was out of the Reef. Without anyone in her ear, Vivian could finally begin to relax enough to stop the shaking in her hands.

 

“Got the wheel, Rip?” Rising to her feet, she turned towards the cargo bay, and the small area where her bunk resided.

 

“Yep.”

 

“Thanks.” It wouldn’t look good to the Vanguard if she was standing there, shaking like a leaf. Luckily no one had touched her little room, especially considering the sheer amount of cargo her poor hauler carried. Inside the small excuse for a room, shecrawled up unto the bed, crossed her legs in front of herself, shut her eyes. Focusing her breath, the hum of the ship’s engines vanished. The mental doors sprang up but they too eventually melted away. There was nothing: no dreams, no memories, no worries.

 

It wasn’t until Ripple tapped their shell against her head, the sensation of the mattress beneath her, that brought her back.

 

“How do you sleep sitting up? Come on, they’re unloading the ship now.”

 

“I wasn’t sleeping.” Vivian stood on her feet, removed her badge, and hid it in her duffle bag. The last thing she needed to do was walk in with that on. No matter how much it felt like she was hiding a part of herself.

 

Waiting for her outside her ship was Cayde. He was leaning against a support beam. When he realized it was a Guardian and not a dockhand standing there staring at him, he stood up and walked over to her.

 

“You’re in trouble, young lady” he said in the most forced, serious tone he could muster. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders he led her out of the hangar. “Heard you got to talk to some friends. Was it fun?”

 

“Yeah. It was worth it.” They exchanged looks while ascending up the stairs. He let out a quiet sigh and shook his head.

 

“Vi, you’re making it hard to stand in your corner.”

 

“I don’t need protection, Chief.”

 

“Really? Then I guess you just happened to do exactly what Blue didn’t want you to, then? It just- _poof_ , happened like that?”

 

“It really did, yeah. When your name has weight like that out there people talk and-”

 

“What kind of weight? No, no. Better if you don’t tell me. I don’t wanna be complacent in your behavior.”

 

The pair moved passed the vendors to the open maw that led down to the Vanguard's shared office space. There, the sun wouldn’t feel so warm on Vivian’s skin. Once that warmth was gone it left her with the same nervous energy she had earlier. She figured silence would be best, to keep herself from digging a deeper hole than she already was in.

 

 _Breath in, breath out._ She yearned for that voice that had been with her when she first woke up. It had gone silent during her days with Kari and Chip, when her memories were beginning to return. Her mind was a chaotic mess that Ripple couldn’t even begin to organize. _Breath in...then out. Slow._

 

The room was occupied by those who manned the comms along the walls, but the large table at the center was without its normal occupants. Cayde gently took her arm and led her to one of the rooms off to the side. As soon as they stepped over the threshold Vivian could feel Zavala’s anger. Her head dipped as her gaze moved to the floor. Cayde led her to a chair where she refused to sit.

 

“Are you all right, Vivian?” Ignoring her teammate’s anger, Ikora was the first to speak up. “No one heard from you for most of the day. You were supposed to check in every few hours, you know.”

 

“I know, ma’am, I got caught up in something.” Vivian could at least look at Ikora. Not into her eyes, and the disappointment residing within, but to her face. “Something beyond my control that required-”

 

“It was a mistake letting you go out there.” Zavala stood from his chair as soon as Cayde sat down in his own. The Awoken stepped around the small table between them and stopped close enough to the smaller Titan that she had to look up at him.

 

“I apologize. But it would be an insult to the Queen to ignore her request-”

 

“No. You should’ve just stayed on your ship until they were done, then came home. No one would’ve been the wiser.”

 

“Would they, now? You underestimate Uldren’s network then.” Before she could swallow her anger it bloomed in her chest. She inhaled, puffing her chest up if only a little. “He was aware the moment I crossed the border. Would’ve been sooner rather than later that we met again.”

 

“And it won’t be again if we can help it.” Zavala’s glare softened as he turned and returned to his chair. “You are being placed on a team that will work solely in the Comsodrome. When we are done here you are to pack up your belongings and-”

 

“No!” She took a step forward. It wasn’t her foot that forced her chair against the wall to her right. “I’m doing great working with Petra. Working in the field _alone._ ”

 

“It’s the decision we came to together as your Vanguard.” At Zavala’s words, Cayde mouthed a silent _sorry_ to the lone Titan. “To remind you of your duty.”

 

“So what? Awoken aren’t considered part of Humanity, that it?” Her fingers pressed into the metal table as she leaned forward. Her blood boiled, vision was reddening. Anger radiated off her form enough for even Ikora to sense. Solar energy shifted the blue tone of her skin. “They have no other Guardians out there. What’s one out there compared to your thousands here?”

 

“That is the Queen’s choice not to welcome Guardians” Ikora interjected. “We’re following a treaty the City and Reef have. You’re very lose to shredding that very treaty with your own two hands.”

 

“No, I’m not.” Her gaze drifted to Zavala.

 

“Calm down, Vi” Cayde warned as he reached out to her. His gloved fingers grazed her arm.

 

“They’re my family and you dare keep me from them?” Vivian brushed his hand away and began to step around the table to Zavala. “For the first time in this life I felt like I _fucking_ belonged somewhere. For the first time I was spoken to like I wasn’t just some _fucking spy._ ”

 

Before the smaller Titan could think, Zavala stood up and grabbed her by the shoulder. He tried to force her to sit down but the both of them struggled. There was a pop, a crack before Vivian began to scream. The sounds echoed off the small room’s metal walls. Her shoulder burned. She stumbled away from her Vanguard, back hitting the wall, hand pressed to the injured joint. Cayde and Ikora jumped to their feet and pulled the Titan Vanguard away. Ripple appeared moments later and began healing her injuries.

 

Vivian found the door and unlocked it. Before any of the Vanguard could stop her, she slipped out of the room with Ripple hurrying close behind.

 

“I’m packing, Rip. I’m done, I’m leaving" she choked through gritted teeth and teary eyes. Her cheeks felt like they were burning more than her shoulder.

 

“No, no. Vivian, you need to calm down. Go talk to Petra, get something to drink. Hey, stop, stop.” They forgot their small size and tried to put their shell in front of their Guardian. She continued stomping through the dark hall towards fresh air, Ripple pressed between her chest and arm. It wasn’t until the pair got outside, surrounded by Guardians unaware, that she slowed down.

 

“I want to go home. To the flat, not...not the Reef. Transmat me to the nearest point. I want some ice for this shoulder, it’s still sore.”

 


	8. Data Appropriation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talk shit, get hit. 
> 
> 'I am not a spy' says Vivian Mou, an unaware spy for the Reef.

Things were quiet at the flat for a while. Like the calm before a storm of Vivian’s creation. She sat out on the porch under the shade her trees gave. Two ice packs were roughly wrapped around her shoulder.

 

There wasn’t much going for the City in her eyes. The only thing she liked was the food. Too many bad memories were souring her life outside of missions and cargo runs. But how was she going to get all her plants to the Reef? Once Petra got home they would have to have a chat.

 

“Vivian?”

 

Ah, speak of the devil. Vivian held her good arm up in the air and listened in on the footsteps approaching. More than one. Not good. She pulled her wide-brimmed hat further down and took a sip of her iced tea.

 

“Am I grounded?” The Titan couldn’t look at her flatmate, or their guest. She held her gaze forward and remained largely unmoved.

 

It wasn’t Petra that sat down at the end of her lounge chair. No, she recognized Cayde’s armor from anywhere. Of course he’d be here.

 

“How’s your shoulder doin’?”

 

“Sore. Rip can’t get rid of all the pain but they did fix the broken collar bone and ball joint.” Hell, it hurt to even hold her glass of tea. She set the glass down and relaxed against the back of the chair. As much as she could relax. “I’m not joining a team. Sorry, Chief.”

 

“Who gets custody of the children if you leave?” He motioned to the plants surrounding them. “Will they get weekend visits?”

 

“Is that how you’re going to convince me to stay, Cayde? Saying I’d have to leave my plants? You’re kidding.”

 

“Well, is Petra a good plant-parent? Will she need a plantsitter when she goes to the Tower every day?”

 

Petra snorted as she sat down on the edge of an adjacent lounger. She poured herself a small glass of tea to try and, seeing as she liked it, poured more before sitting back in it.

 

“My family had an herb garden when I was younger. I can manage.”

 

“Yeah, but these aren’t weird Awoken plants. These are nice Earth plants and trees.” Cayde stood up and reached towards one of the tree’s branches. He rubbed a leaf between gloved fingers.

 

“There is such a thing as sun lights. Just have to set some up for ‘em and bam! Organic air filtration system.” Vivian swirled her glass around and watched as the ice spun with the current. She tried to reverse the current and nearly caused some of the glass’ contents to splash on her light-colored tank top.

 

The Exo let out a breathless sigh. He pulled his hood off before moving to pull the Titan’s hat off. She swatted his hand away and let out a pained hiss. Moving her arm that fast still hurt.

 

“If you leave now kid, it’s going to be on bad terms. I can’t help you if you leave like this.”

 

“You should at least sleep on it before finalizing your choice” Petra added in. She took another sip of her tea and crossed one leg over the other. “Cooler heads always prevail.”

 

Vivian shifted the ice packs strapped to her shoulder. The pain was being replaced with a numbness only an overflow of Void energy could normally produce in her digits. She had dug her heels in the proverbial sand. But if even Petra was insisting maybe she’d been in the wrong.

 

“Will I still be in the Bad Guardian Box if I leave tomorrow?” With her good hand she lifted the hat up just a little. Just enough for Cayde to see her eyes.

 

“Listen kid,” the Exo shifted closer, “you’ve gotten yourself in one hell of a bind. I know you don’t wanna work with other Guardians. You haven’t had the best luck with others, I get it. As a Vanguard I have to tell you that you need to listen to us.”

 

“And as Chief?”

 

“Same deal. Gotta work with a team.”

 

“And if I refuse?” Vivian crossed one leg over the other. A breeze picked up and began to blow through the branches causing the shadows to dance.

 

“Cayde, a word?” Petra set her glass down and rose to her feet. Her and the Vanguard stepped inside, glass door closing behind them.

 

Vivian couldn’t see their discussion. Even when she tried to slip into her flatmate’s mind it failed. Ripple floated up from a nearby pillow over to their Guardian.

 

“You really wanna leave, huh?” The disappointment in their voice was audible. “Tell him why you hate it here. Be honest to them for once.”

 

“You know why I can’t...ugh.” She crossed her arms and groaned as a dull pang of pain ran through her shoulder.

 

“Then I’ll tell him.”

 

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

 

“I will if you don’t. I mean it, Vi. What’s the worse they’re gonna do? Throw you out? That’s what you want isn’t it?”

 

 _It’s more than that._ Vivian felt her cheeks blush as she opened her eyes. There was a flutter of wings to her side that caught her attention.

 

A strange machine, articulated and decorated to almost look as real as a large black bird, perched on a branch above her head. In its beak was a small package wrapped in purple and gold foil tied with a similarly-colored bow. When it tilted its head it scanned her, her shoulder, and Ripple. Seeing her injury it flew down unto the Guardian’s lap and set the package down on her lap.

 

Something of the small machine felt familiar. Of course she couldn’t put her finger on it. But stranger still was the gift it just set down for her. Before she could open it Petra and Cayde stepped back out. At the sight of the bird Petra stepped over and grabbed it. It struggled in her hands as she carried it over to the edge of the building. It broke free of her grip and flew off.

 

“Who’s sending you gifts now?” Cayde reached for the box but Vivian swatted his hand away with her good hand.

 

“I was going to figure that out myself.” Her frown softened as Petra returned to them, arms crossed. She too held a small frown that vanished at the sight of the box.

 

“How adorable” she said with a growing smile. “Never in my years have I ever seen him send gifts to anyone, yet alone a Guardian.”

 

Vivian let out an audible growl as her cheeks tinged purple. Whatever club the women were in was one Cayde wanted in on, too. He looked at each of them and the box several times.

 

“Who? There a name on there?” The attempt to grab it from the Titan proved to be in vain and only earned the Exo more slaps to his hand. “Let us see! Can’t be anything awful, come on. The suspense is killing me!”

 

Vivian rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the box. She carefully unwrapped the bow, then the foil, exposing a box similar to the one her badge had arrived in. When she removed the cover, a set of three gold, platinum, and almost translucent bracelets adorned with multi-colored gems sat on a pale pink silky pillow. They felt familiar, too.

 

“Jewelry? Fancy, but boring.” Cayde shrugged and sat down at the end of Vivian’s chair.

 

“I think these were mine in my last life.” Vivian carefully slipped the three bands over her hand and smiled as they found their place on her wrist. Ripple appeared and scanned them.

 

“Materials are from a mixture of Earth, Mars, the Reef...and unknown. Interesting.”

 

“They look like Token Links.” Petra sat down next to Vivian, took the Titan’s hand gently and began to examine the bands. “Most Awoken are lucky to have one full band. But three?”

 

“I wasn’t born in the Reef” Vivian replied quietly. She stared at the gems, the way the bands sparkled in the sun. “One is from home. The others are from the Reef.” Her eyes continued to watch as Petra turned the bands. If they were supposed to trigger any memories it certainly wasn’t working.

 

One of the bands had a single gem missing. Its slot was larger than the others that intricately adorned the gold material. Close to it, connected by a thin blue filament, was a black gem just smaller than the empty slot. Seeing it did bring her a feeling of hurt, of pain. Her stomach dropped and she withdrew her hand from Petra’s grasp. The Emissary complied without a complaint.

 

“So who’s the gifter?” Cayde had been bust searching the box, the pillow, foil, and ribbon for clues. It was all Awoken by design. Over the top for just some jewelry. To him at least. When Petra didn’t reply but simply looked to the Titan he narrowed his eyes. “Spill it, kid.”

 

Before Vivian could respond, the bird-yet-not-a-bird flew past his head and landed on her shoulder. Something else dropped unto her lap as it landed. It adjusted itself to face the Vanguard and Petra. Then proceeded to rub its head against the Titan’s face. Her blush only grew heavier as she smiled.

 

“They’re beautiful. Thank you.” When the machine let out a small _caw_ she looked down. Yet another box, but this one was lacking the fancier foils and was simply wrapped in a plain metallic foil. She unboxed it to reveal a bottle of pinkish-white liquid.

 

Seemingly sensing Cayde’s impending question Petra offered to take the bottle off the Titan’s hand. She passed it to her fellow Awoken and watched as she cracked the top open.

 

“A salve for muscle pains and bruising. Must’ve sensed your discomfort. My my, someone's growing soft.” She snickered when the bird let out another sound and lifted its wings. Before harming its perch, it calmed down.

 

“A Crow? One of Uldren Sov’s little goons got a soft spot for our little Titan here? Don’t let Zavala know.” Cayde kept his gaze on the bird as it too began to exchange a stare. “You hear that? Bugger off. She’s not interested in you.”

 

Petra made a hiss between her teeth. She had begun to rub some of the salve into Vivian’s bruised shoulder.

 

“I wouldn’t assume anything.”

 

“Chief, can it.” The Titan felt her still warm cheeks and knew her frown wasn’t anywhere near intimidating. She looked away when Cayde snorted before rising to his feet.

 

“Alright, alright.” His eyes didn’t leave the bird. He took careful steps backward towards the door to the interior of the flat. “Between us? I didn’t see anything. It’s the last favor I can give you, okay Vi?”

 

“Got it.” She remained silent until he was gone and some time had passed. The feeling of Petra’s hands massaging her shoulder were making her drowsy, comfortable. The pain that had started as a burning throbbing pain was waning. “Thought he’d never leave.”

 

“Me neither.” Petra sealed the salve back up and moved Vivian’s tank strap back unto her shoulder. “Are you going to think about your choice?”

 

“I have a job for her before she returns.” The bird emitted a familiar voice. One that caused both Awoken to freeze up and look at it. “Dash that stupid robot’s brains across the pavement.”

 

“No!” Vivian’s voice cracked as she moved. Too suddenly, it was, for the pain returned. She whined as Petra began to massage the joint once more. “I’m not hurting him. He’s the nicest Guardian here!”

 

“He’s an ass.”

 

“Pot calling the kettle black, Uldren.” Vivian whined more as the bird flapped its wings against her face. “Ack! Stop it, you stupid man-child!”

 

Petra watched in silent amusement. She tried to keep the Titan still to keep her shoulder from giving her more problems but the Prince’s drone continued to wreck havoc. Despite the seeming argument she couldn’t help but acknowledge Vivian’s smile and withheld laughter.

 

“Stop stop stop! You win this one! Yield...my shoulder’s killing me.”

 

“Petra, more salve. Don’t be so miserly with it.” The bird-machine stopped its assault on its perch and instead settled itself in the Guardian’s lap. Exactly where it could keep an eye on the Awoken pair. “There is something I need you to do. The gold band has a hidden compartment. Look for the empty gem slot.”

 

Vivian did as instructed, turning the band to the empty slot. Her fingers felt the metal until they ran over a crease on the inside of the band. She opened the compartment and caught the small device that fell out between her fingers.

 

“I want all the information you can get your little hands on. There’s usually one or two terminals inside the Hall of Guardians that hold swaths of information but they’re manned at all hours. With your...Vanguard usually residing there most of the day and night.”

 

“I’m having a meeting with them tomorrow. For a few hours they’ll be away. Other than that...” Petra shook her head. “I don’t know how you’re going to get past the techs.”

 

“She knows how to.”

 

“Aye.” With a little more thought put into it, the plan could come together rather simply. There was a reason he came to her with this and not Petra. There was one thing she had as an advantage over every other Crow:

 

Vivian is a Guardian. Someone who is trusted inside the Tower. Maybe not by the Vanguard, but certainly by their staff.

 

“We’ll be in touch.” Without warning, the bird-machine took off, vanishing through the heavy foliage on the porch. With Uldren’s supposed ears gone, Petra turned to Vivian with a raised brow.

 

“You two are _adorable_.” A smile grew on her face at her flatmate’s squirming and subsequent blushing. “Someone has a crush on the local Prince. Look at you.”

 

Vivian let out a quiet whine and tried to turn away from her. The Titan whined more when she put weight on her shoulder.

 

“Awfully nice of him to bring you something to help. That's not like him.”

 

“We were close back in my first life.” She stopped trying to roll around and dodge Petra’s inquiries. It would be less painful this way. “For a long time it was just Mara, Uldren, and myself. Most of my memories of us just...building a cabin in the woods or laying around in fields of flowers. Stuff like that. Back before this whole ‘Queen and Prince of the Awoken’ sort of thing.” Vivian paused, waiting for a reply from Petra before continuing.

 

“It was a simpler time. A kinder time. One without so much pain and sorrow and loss. Wish we could go back to it, honestly.”

 

“I don’t blame you.” Petra’s smile vanished. “Growing up, the Distributary was only a myth. But hearing you talk about it, seeing your drawings and paintings...it must have been paradise. Why leave it?”

 

“Dunno. Haven’t gotten to that part of my memories yet.” A breeze picked up. It chilled the pair and caused them both to inch closer to one another. Vivian’s skin was much warmer, Solar energy rippling over her skin. Petra drew even closer. “It was nice though. I miss it.”

 

“Tell me about it. As much as you can remember. The smells, the colors, the sounds. Everything.”

 

“I can tell you if we go inside and have some food and a couple pillows and blankets. Specially for this shoulder.”

 

“Deal.”

 

* * *

 

Vivian woke up in her bed the next morning. The last thought that came to her mind was her and Petra falling asleep together here in her room. Piles of her paintings were neatly stacked on the nightstand at the further side of the bed. The blankets there were neatly made. Certainly not in any shape Vivian would’ve left them in.

 

“Petra” the Titan called out as she rose to her feet. The discoloration of her flesh caught the corner of her eye and she glanced down at her bare shoulder. With a ginger touch she checked to see how painful it was and- oh, yeah, definitely still bad.

 

“You’re excused from all Guardian activities until we get that shoulder fixed” Ripple said behind her head. Their shell opened up as a beam of Light hit her shoulder. It warmed her flesh there. The bruising seemed to ease but only so much. Their shell condensed back to its ‘normal’ state as they let out a frustrated huff. “The other Ghosts said healing Reefborn can be harder. Didn’t imagine it would be _this_ hard.”

 

“What, other Ghosts told you that?” Checking the tenderness once more, she found it to be a little bit more tolerant. Still not enough to lug a rifle around, though.

 

“Yeah. I thought it was just that we don’t have a solid hold of our Light. Apparently the others think it’s just how Reefborn Awoken are. You barely age if at all, some of you have faster 'natural' healing than normal, but the Light is just...it’s hard to describe.”

 

“The Light doesn’t like us?”

 

“No. It’s like there’s something that pushes back against it.”

 

“Huh.” That would be something she could tamper with later on. Right now, she wanted to get something on that didn’t nearly expose her breast every time she moved.

 

Once showered and dressed, Vivian slipped the bands unto her wrist. Just another thing that helped her feel more like herself.

 

No doubt there’d be questions raised on their origins.

 

 _No matter_.

 

After a quick shared breakfast the Reefborn pair departed for the Tower. Ripple transmatted them up to the courtyard. Vivian wouldn’t normally step foot up here so soon after what happened. But Petra taking her hand, leading her down to the Hall of Guardians, brought her courage. She let go before the Vanguard could notice.

 

The Titan walked over to one of the consoles, fingers fidgeting with her cuffs. Once her fellow Awoken led the trio of Guardians off to another room, she cleared her throat a little and slumped her shoulders.

 

“Uh, hi...” Her voice was soft, barely audible over the general buzz the room had. The tech turned to Vivian and flashed a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

 

“What can I do for you?”

 

“I wanted to see my team roster. Commander Zavala just stepped out and I don’t want to interrupt their meeting with the Emissary.”

 

“Sure, all yours. Uh, my shift’s over soon and my relief’s not here yet. Could you just stay here until they show up?”

 

“Of course.” She smiled as the tech clasped her pained shoulder and gave it a squeeze. She could swear she felt the bone creak and muscles scream out in pain.

 

“Thanks. I owe you.”

 

“This is thanks enough.” Her smile continued as the tech hurried off. In an instant she pulled the chip from her cuff, found a port it would fit in, and inserted it. While the data copied automatically in the background she went over her own file.

 

Vivian’s stomach dropped as she read Zavala’s writing. He wasn’t happy with her, no doubt. But neither were Ikora or Cayde. They wrote how opposed to working with others she was, how much she seemed to simply fall into a daze. A recent addition from Petra was the only thing that was positive: remarks on how efficient and effective Vivian was when put to the correct task.

 

Switching off her file she switched to the team roster. She found her name, and found the team hand picked for her. No fellow Awoken, all Titans. Two Exos and a Human. Just what she wanted to deal with.

 

Before she could delve into the records of her supposed team she heard a chirp. She checked the window that Uldren’s program was running and saw that it was simply gone. She removed the chip, slipped it back in her cuff, then began to slowly delve into her team’s history.

 

_Patient. Stubborn. Loyal to the Tower and the Traveler almost to an extreme. Don’t take kindly to those with differing views-_

 

“Excuse me” a voice made Vivian nearly snap the screen in two. She turned to see another tech standing there scratching his short hair hidden under a blue-grey cap. “Where’s the other tech?”

 

“He wanted me to watch the station until his relief got here. I needed to look my new team up anyway.” Vivian flashed a smile and let go of the screen. “I’m assuming you’re his relief?”

 

The tech let out a sigh and nodded. “Kid’s always seems ready to run off somewhere. Power of youth, huh?”

 

“I guess. Been a long time since I was young.” They shared a laugh as the tech stepped closer. When he put a hand on her bad shoulder she couldn’t hide the whine that escaped her lips.

 

“Been out on the field too much, kid. Go get some rest and worry about this team shit another day, okay?”

 

“Okay. Thanks.” Her smile died as she walked away. The only thing that kept her calm was focusing on the band around her neck, and the gem that resided there. Its slow, subtle, rhythmic pulsing helped her own heart remain calm. Out past the Crucible handler, to the courtyard.

 

Running fingers through her hair, Vivian could feel the weight in her gut dissipate only so much. She quickly summoned Ripple and the pair left the Tower.

 

* * *

 

The bird-machine was waiting for her when she returned to the flat. It perched on the back of the couch.

 

“Did you get the data?” Uldren’s voice crackled through its speakers. “There’s a port on this Crow. Just insert the drive and it’ll transfer the data here.”

 

Vivian approached the bird while removing the chip from her cuff’s hidden compartment. As she did the bird’s head tilted at an unnatural angle, opening at the neck to reveal a similar port to the one found on the terminal in the Tower. She inserted the chip and sat down on the couch.

 

“Huh. Someone left their admin privileges on while you were there.” He fell silent for a minute as the data continued to transfer. “How’s the shoulder healing?”

 

His question threw Vivian for a loop. It had to be the first time it was seemingly just the two of them. Without another around, Uldren’s harsh tone was gone. It almost didn’t sound like him. But it was. His tone brought a sense of happiness to the Titan she hadn’t felt in her second life. The blush on her cheeks was impossible to control or hide.

 

“It’s still sore. I’ll ask Petra to put more salve on when she gets done with her duties in the Tower.”

 

“If you leave tonight there could be an herbal bath waiting for you.”

 

Vivian giggled. She worked her lower lip between her teeth, eyes drifting shut.

 

“You’re awful. That sounds amazing.”

 

It was Uldren’s turn to laugh. The bird’s head lowered back down. A quiet _hiss_ made the unit air-tight.

 

“You always have your ways, little Vivi. Everything I asked for and then some. Exactly what Sister wanted.”

 

“I was thinking.” Her smile died for a moment but returned when the Crow moved to perch on her good shoulder. “Why not have Mara make a formal request of my presence there? It might ease some of this tension building up between the Reef and the Tower. I don’t want to be here, clearly, and I have no value to the Vanguard. They’d do better without me being here.”

 

“It’s an idea, certainly.” The comm cut off suddenly. Silence fell unto the flat until the Crow began to twitch and shift again. “You wish to come home, then?”

 

“Yes. Also, Uldren...could I, uh...ask for something?”

 

“Depends what this _something_ is.”

 

“I don’t wanna be alone.” Vivian’s gaze turned to the cuffs adorning her wrist. She began to turn them mindlessly. “Could you leave the Crow here tonight?”

 

“I’m recalling the Crow to retrieve the data chip. I can’t guarantee one can get there before night falls.”

 

“That’s more than enough. If it’s inconvenient then don’t worry about it.” She reached out, fingers running over the machine’s realistic feathers. Were they real? Real enough, surely. Uldren put his heart and soul into building each one.

 

“We’ll speak again soon.”

 

Before she could object or say ‘bye,’ the Crow took off through the porch door, and off back to the Reef. Alone again, Vivian felt that happiness dash as tears filled her eyes.

 

“I can’t believe this.” Ripple appeared in a shimmer of Light and bumped their shell against her forehead. “You’re smitten with him. Absolutely smitten! He got you to steal Vanguard information! All for what?”

 

“Stop, Rip.” She tried to catch her Ghost, tried to protect herself from their seeming wrath. A sob rose from her chest. “Just leave me alone...”

 

“Vi...” Ripple stopped their assault when they sensed their Guardian’s distress. “He’s not a good person to be around. He’ll just use you for what he-”

 

“No. He’s not like that. Not with me.” The Uldren in her dreams was different than what she had seen, yes. But if his words today were any proof, then the man she once knew was certainly still alive, well, and kicking.


	9. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivian's gotten away with her first espionage op. Or has she? A confrontation leads to an unearthing of facts and an inevitability.

When Petra finally returned to the flat with food in hand, she found Vivian barely awake on the porch.

 

The sight of her flatmate stirred Vivian from her long wait. Her small smile was clearly forced. Her wet cheeks and reddened eyes showed a different emotion. Before Petra could hurry over, offer sympathy, the titan raised her hand.

 

“Please, I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Did you two break up?”

 

Vivian snorted. She let out a dry laugh and shook her head.

 

“What are you talking about, _break up?_ ”

 

“Jolyon asked him about it, and then told me. Inside, come on.” Petra led the Guardian inside to the couch. She offered her a container of food which Vivian took with a silent nod. They sat down together side by side, feet up on the coffee table. “What he could gather is that you two have been together for a long time. Longer than any of us have been around.”

 

“I could’ve told you that.”

 

“You two were supposed to get married but kept putting it off for when, I quote, ‘things settle down.’ Things never settled down.”

 

Vivian fell silent. Her hand went to the gem at her throat. She glanced at Petra then to the porch door. Her vision clouded with tears that she fought in vain to keep back.

 

“Vi,” Petra put a hand on the titan’s good shoulder. A sob came from the shorter woman. “It’s okay.”

 

The words couldn’t come. Vivian couldn’t help the heartache, the sorrow that rose from her gut. It constricted her throat, making each breath a struggle. Petra tried to soothe her, calm her down, calm down her breathing with gentle words, gentler pets. Nothing seemed to help.

 

“Slow breaths. You’re hyperventilating. Shh...”

 

“I-I-I...”

 

“Focus on breathing. In...out...in... _slower_.”

 

Ripple appeared in a shimmer of Light and at once began to use their shared Light to help calm her. Slowly- far slower than the Ghost would’ve preferred, her breathing slowed. By the time her breathing was back to normal her face was a purple-red, cheeks soaked with tears. Her body shivered as her Light calmed.

 

What had gotten over her? It hit suddenly, without much explanation. Her whole body ached from the episode. Especially her shoulder. She reached out for her food once more and, scared of choking, began to have small bites.

 

Together the pair ate in relative silence. Petra nearly jumped from the couch when something hit the thick curtain that was the only thing keeping the outside of the porch from the rest of the flat. One of Uldren’s machine-birds crawled its way out from under the curtain. Once freed from its grasp it flew over to them and landed on Petra’s shoulder. Its beady optics stared at both of them, then their food.

 

“Is the food so bad you’re crying over it?”

 

Vivian snorted and shook her head. But she couldn’t look into the bird’s eyes. If she did, she felt like she was going to fall apart again.

 

“Vivi. Talk to me.”

 

“Having a bad day’s all.” Her gaze shifted when the bird landed on her forearm. He was moving it so she would look it in the eyes, look at _him_ the best she could. The more she struggled the more tears began to well in her burning eyes.

 

“Petra. Leave. We need a private talk.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Petra stood up from the couch, collected her containers of food, and retreated upstairs.

 

Uldren waited until the machine’s sensors guaranteed they were alone and out of earshot.

 

“What happened?”

 

“I...” the words caught in Vivian’s throat again. She could feel that constricting again. Setting her food down, her hands held the bird close to her chest as she let the sobs roll out.

 

“Who hurt you?”

 

_“Who hurt you?” Uldren held Vivian’s bandaged hand to his mouth. His beautiful amber eyes were alit with pure rage. His hands were shaking. His face and hands still had marks of soot and ash._

 

_Vivian couldn’t talk. Her throat and lungs burned. It was a struggle just to take each breath._

 

_“She can’t talk, brother.” Mara stood over the pair, her expression calm as always. “We’re lucky she’s even awake.”_

 

_“I want to know who did this so I can dash their brains across the-”_

 

_“Uldren, calm down. We’ll find out, and they will have the gesture returned to them in no time.”_

 

“Vivi.” The bird-machine’s incessant pecking at her arm brought her back. “Talk. To. Me.”

 

“When was I in the hospital?”

 

“When was- you worked in hospitals and medical units for most of your life.”

 

“No...admitted. Something bad happened...you were mad.”

 

“Oh, that. That was a long time ago.”

 

Vivian rolled her eyes and finally looked down at the bird. Her fingers began to pet its head.

 

“What happened?”

 

“Some people hurt you. We paid them back in kind.”

 

“There’s more to it than that.”

 

“Did you have a flashback? Is that what has you upset?”

 

“No. Just...I miss you is all.” They both fell silent as she continued to hold the bird close and pet its head. The gesture was helping keep her mind calm and the ache in her chest from rising up again. But now her head was beginning to pound. The lights around them were too bright. Outside, the sound of the City was growing louder.

 

“We used to do this. When we were apart.” Uldren’s voice was soft, barely audible over the comm. “You got lonely easily, what with Sjur being around sister all the time. I always kept a spare Crow with you when I had to go somewhere, so that we could talk when you needed.”

 

“So I was clingy back then” Vivian muttered. It earned a snort over the comm which brought a smile to her face.

 

“No. You were scared of being alone.”

 

“Why?”

 

“You lived alone for a while before we met, and even when we became friends. One day some unsavory types came looking for me at your home, didn’t find what they were looking for. They took their anger out on you.”

 

“That’s what put me in the hospital.”

 

“They set your house on fire. I pulled you out of there before the smoke and flames got you.”

 

“My hero.” She giggled softly. “Thank you Uldren. For everything.”

 

“You better thank me.” The bird flapped its wings, slapping her chin, chest, arms. She let it go. It crawled up her tunic and perched itself on her bad shoulder.

 

“Have I never?”

 

“You used to do it too much. Annoying.” They shared a laugh together. Despite the growing pain in the joint, Vivian retrieved her food and resumed eating. “Nothing for me? I’m insulted.”

 

“Go take your complaints to Petra then. She got the food tonight.”

 

“Fine. I will.” Without warning, the Crow took off up the stairs. Vivian held back laughter when she heard it collide with her flatmate's door again and again.

 

“What’s wrong?” Petra’s voice was barely audible from this distance.

 

“You didn’t get me any food you wench!” Silence. “Hey! You better not close that door- Petra! Open this door at once!”

 

Vivian couldn’t help it now. She burst out in laughter on the couch. It hurt to laugh, and it hurt to shed tears. The Crow returned to her and perched on the couch next to her head.

 

“She wouldn’t give me any.”

 

“If you ask nicer than just screaming ‘wench’ at her she might offer you some. If you called me that I’d smack you.”

 

“It’s not a _bad_ word necessarily.”

 

“No, but it’s your delivery. Being a Prince has spoiled you.” She covered her head from a couple smacks from the Crow’s wings but smiled the whole time. “See? Spoiled.”

 

“Then I guess I’ll just tell Sister you don’t want to come home after all.”

 

“What? No Uldren, please...” Her smile vanished in an instant. That pain began to grip her chest again.

 

“I’m joking. She agrees that it’s doable. Expect an escort home in the next few days.”

 

“Wait...the plan from earlier?”

 

“None other. What with all the Guardians running around the Reef now,” Uldren’s tone shifted to one of disgust at the mention of other Guardians, “it would be nice to have someone around who might think like them. Helps when it’s one of our best friends.”

 

“I’m your best friend?”

 

“ _One of_. Doesn’t mean top of the list.”

 

Vivian lowered her arms before standing up. The Crow flew and landed on her good shoulder as she collected the empty food containers and made her way to the kitchen.

 

“I even spoke to her about your... _garden_. She said she’ll make arrangements for space as long as you agree to bring plants that can grow produce, too.”

 

“The trees on the porch will be growing fruit in a year as long as I keep giving them compost and plant food. What would she like, herbs? Or actual fruit and vegetable plants?”

 

“She wasn’t specific.”

 

“Or you just didn’t understand what she meant.” A wing hit the back of her head. She nearly dropped the containers in her arms unto the ground. “Stop that, you petulant man-child.”

 

“Stop calling me that and I will stop correcting you.”

 

“Man-child.” More smacks. Vivian felt a growl rise from her chest, her Light spiking. Uldren must’ve sensed it too because the Crow flew towards the kitchen ahead of her.

 

“I can let you cry yourself to sleep tonight, if you’d prefer.”

 

“Don’t hit me. All I ask.” She let out a couple deep breaths before approaching the sink. “It’s demeaning beyond measure. You seem like the person to be above such actions, Uldren.”

 

“Sorry to disappoint.”

 

“How often did you hit me in my first life, then? I can’t seem to remember a single time-”

 

“That’s different.”

 

“So it’s different now because I’m a Guardian, then?”

 

“...No.”

 

Vivian let out a huff as she rinsed the containers out. Her Light calmed its intimidating glow over her flesh. The Crow returned to perch on her shoulder.

 

“If you prefer I’ll only verbally correct you.”

 

“No, we’ll talk to one another as the mature adults we are. Especially in private. I know how to behave in public.”

 

He scoffed.

 

“Barely.”

 

She splashed the Crow with a small amount of soapy water. It flew off her shoulder and perched itself on the counter to her left. Movement caused the titan to glance over. Petra approached with containers of her own, her eye glaring daggers at the Crow simply perched next to her flatmate.

 

“Uldren, what do you say to Petra? About earlier?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“ _Uldren_ ” Vivian hissed through her teeth. _“_ Mature, remember?”

 

He let out a sigh that was audible on the comm. She could imagine him shifting in whatever chair or place he resided.

 

“I guess I’m sorry. I still expect someone to bring me food in a few days.”

 

“Apology accepted.” Petra set the containers in the sink. She turned away from the Crow to stand at the titan’s opposite shoulder. “I got Commander Zavala off your case today. As long as you maintain check-ins with me every few hours in the field he’s willing to let us continue.”

 

“Not for long.” The Crow danced around the sink and over to perch on the edge of the counter in front of Petra. “There’s going to be a change in plans. Check your manifest for the shipment inbound, expected to arrive in a few days.”

 

The Emissary let out a sigh and left for her room. The flat fell silent until she hurried down the steps, nearly slipping at the landing.

 

“You’re going to the Reef? When did this change? Does Commander Zavala or the Vanguard know?”

 

“Easy, Petra. Don’t need you cracking your head open on the stairs.” Vivian finished the last of the containers and set them on a rack to dry. “I just found out ten minutes ago. Maybe not even.”

 

“Do they know?”

 

“I believe that’s your job to tell them” Uldren replied before Vivian could. His Crow flew from the counter and landed on Petra’s shoulder. “Might want to get on that.”

 

She let out a groan, turned around, and hurried back up the stairs. Moments later the Crow returned to perch on Vivian’s good shoulder.

 

“She could tell ‘em in the morning...”

 

“It would be a better idea to tell them now rather than later.”

 

“Yes, but the poor woman’s tired, Uldren. It’s emotionally draining being up there all day.”

 

“Not my concern. You do know how she ended up in the Last City and not here in the Reef, don’t you?”

 

“From what I recall some Guardians were being, well...Guardians, and she accidentally got them killed. A whole team.” She turned the lights off in the kitchen, out on the porch, and in most of the lower floor of the flat. Light from the Traveler on one side of the room illuminated the waxed floor and made the area appear more aglow.

 

“The Vanguard wanted justice. The Queen punished her in a more than forgiving manner. She remains here until it’s deemed that her debt’s been paid.”

 

Petra hurried down the stairs past Vivian and out the door. The Guardian made her way up to her room, closing the door behind her. She opened the door to her personal porch and stood there. When the Crow didn’t move, she sighed.

 

“What, you want to watch me undress?”

 

“You used to enjoy it when I watched.”

 

She felt her cheeks flush. The Crow finally moved off her shoulder, yes, but found a perch at the foot-board of her bed. Its beady eyes stared at her as she returned the stare.

 

“Well? I’m waiting.”

 

Oh. He was serious. The realization caused the flush to extend down her neck, to her ears and chest. She swallowed hard and was about to start undressing when the Crow flew out the room to the porch. Worrying that she offended the Prince she changed to her night shorts and tank before checking on him.

 

Luckily the Crow didn’t leave, it simply perched on the railing and was staring at the curtains. Something told Vivian in her gut that he could see her through the thick material.

 

“Did I upset you” she asked him in a quiet voice. Her shoulders slumped, chin lowered. The cuffs still adorned her wrist.

 

“No. I thought you were going to scream if I didn’t give you some privacy.”

 

“Oh. Come back inside?” Vivian held her bad arm out. The Crow scanned the wound and refused to move until she offered her other arm. It perched on her arm and she carried it inside to her nest of pillows and blankets.

 

The titan found a comfortable position to lay. When she settled, the Crow laid down between two pillows close to her head. She reached out and put an arm around it. It didn’t move or try to peck her.

 

“Get some sleep. You’ll need to start packing in the morning.”

 

* * *

 

 _Vivian_ _held her arm out as Uldren finished securing the last ties to the glove he’d slipped on her arm. His bird, a larger creature adorned in black feathers that seemed to hold rainbows in their feathers when light shone upon them, was perched on a branch across from them._

 

_“He’s not the lightest thing in the world. And he’s going to fly and land right on your arm. Keep it straight, don’t drop it, and you’ll be just fine, okay?”_

 

_“Uh...yeah. So, his talons won’t go through this leather?”_

 

_“Promise.” He whistled and stepped back. The bird extended its wings and launched towards them. Vivian snapped her eyes shut as the weight of the bird suddenly collided with her arm. She kept it as straight as she could._

 

_When her eyes opened, she was greeted by a pair of beady eyes. Uldren smiled and removed a dead rodent from a nearby pack. The bird extended its wings when it saw its meal. He threw the dead rodent in the air and the pair of Awoken watched as the bird caught it right out of the air. It landed on Vivian’s arm again with the rodent nearly down its throat already._

 

_“Cool.”_

 

_“I know, right? Mother isn’t fond of them and Sister seems indifferent.”_

 

 _“Well honestly, Uldren, she seems indifferent_ _concerning_ _just about everything.”_ _Her eyes followed him as he stepped closer. His hands found her waist and he pulled her close._ _The_ _bird took off and landed on a branch overhead. “There must be others who have the same passion for it as you. You can’t be the only one here.”_

 

_“There may be,” he leaned forward and stole a quick kiss from her lips, “but I haven’t met them yet.”_

 

_Vivian smiled before shifting to her tiptoes. She pressed her lips to his and was rewarded with equal passion. Her hand found the back of his head and his found the curve of her rear end. A gasp escaped her lips when he squeezed._

 

_“Isn’t Mara coming home from the Queen’s Court today?” She pulled away from him just enough that her words breathed on his face. “Maybe we should wait a little before getting frisky.”_

 

_“We have some time.” Giving another squeeze, he started trailing kisses down her face and neck. Where he found purchase he bit down hard enough to leave marks, earning more gasps from Vivian. Her fingers tugged on his black hair and forced his head up._

 

 _“I have a feeling we don’t. I’d rather your sister not walk in on us fucking out here in_ her _garden.”_

 

 _“_ _I thought this one was yours. They look the same.” Uldren glanced around. The large backyard was utterly overrun with flowers, herbs, vegetable plants, berry bushes. You name it, it was here._

 

_“No, mine’s closer to the house. The fence between our gardens is right there.” Vivian pointed to a small fence that barely reached their knees. Small ivy-like flowering plants decorated the supports but kept most of the fence exposed. For now._

 

_“Then let’s go inside and have our fun there.”_

 

_“And if she walks in on us?” She couldn’t help but smile when he rolled his eyes. “I promise, once she’s home you can have your way with me.”_

 

_“I’m holding you to that.” He dipped his head and continued to leave marks on sensitive skin._

 

* * *

 

At first when the titan awoke she thought she was back in the Distributary. The scent of flowers wafted in her room, carried on a breeze that held the scent of food as well. It wasn’t until she actually opened her eyes that she realized her dream was but a distant memory.

 

Vivian let out a soft groan and flopped back in her bed.

 

“Uldren? I had a weird dream” she called out. There wasn’t any response. No fluttering of wings, no movement next to her. Was the Crow gone? Upon realizing that she was alone, she took a deep breath and let it out. Ripple appeared and hovered next to her head.

 

“The drone left maybe an hour ago. He probably had better things to do, Vivian. Don’t take it so personally.”

 

“But I wanted to talk about my dream” she replied quietly. Before she could wallow by herself in her own room she got up and went downstairs. The smell of breakfast and coffee hit her nose.

 

“Petra, is he down here? He wasn’t in my room when I-”

 

Her words caught in her throat as she made her way down the stairs. The Vanguard were sitting in the kitchen with Petra. They all stared at the titan as she took her last steps off the stairs.

 

“Who wasn’t in your room, Guardian” Ikora asked coolly behind a mug of coffee.

 

“Doesn’t matter.” Vivian approached the kitchen. She carried a chair from the dining table to join the other four. Instead of sitting near her Vanguard she set up her chair next to Petra. Considering the titan loved the smell of coffee, she’d try a cup out herself.

 

Ripple appeared and bolted away from their Guardian.

 

“A Crow has been in contact with her” they announced to the table. Zavala nearly did a spit take at the news and slammed the mug on the counter. The poor cup shattered and spilled its contents, causing Cayde and Petra both to collect their tablets and jump away from the island.

 

“A _what_ , Ghost?”

 

“You heard them.” Vivian spun around on her heel before taking a big swill from her own mug. The liquid was hot, utterly bitter, and tasted awful. She poured sugar and a powder into the cup and swirled it until the dark liquid turned several shades lighter. It was time to come clear since Ripple seemed to think so. “Prince Uldren himself. We used to be friends in my first life, you see.”

 

Cayde let out a sigh and buried his head in his hand. Ikora’s brows were raised and her mug was frozen mere millimeters from her lips. Petra was too busy cleaning up the Commander’s mess to really focus.

 

“Is that why Queen Mara has formally requested your relocation to the Reef?” Zavala’s tone was oddly calm. Even his face seemed more neutral. But that look of disgust was clear in his eyes.

 

“I’m of more use to Mara than I am to you.” Vivian took another long swill of her coffee. It wasn’t nearly as bitter as before. “We realized that when I was at the Reef.”

 

“Vivian.” Ikora set her mug down and folded her hands in front of her on the counter. “We don’t believe this is a coincidence. Tell us, honestly, how long you’ve been planning to leave the Tower.”

 

“I haven’t been planning anything. I didn’t plan to meet my old friends when I went to the Outpost, either. No matter what you guys might want to believe.” The titan’s hand went to her bad shoulder. It still ached, still bore the signs of horrendous trauma.

 

“How long have you wanted to leave?” The Warlock pressed the question again, brow furrowing.

 

“Since I was put on the same team as Sparks-12 and Rueben.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay-? No. No, this isn’t okay.” Cayde sat back down in his chair. “The one who sent you those little bracelets was Prince Peacock, wasn’t it? And that necklace you’re always wearing?”

 

“He gifted the cuffs to me many years ago.” Vivian raised the hand with her mug in it. The bands clinked together as they slid on her wrist. “And the necklace...I don’t remember yet. I fail to see how that has anything to do with this.”

 

“It's been a burning question. That's all.”

 

“What it does show, however, is that you’re a security threat” Zavala interjected. “You’re compromised. You could’ve divulged sensitive information to him without even realizing.”

 

“I’m not a _fucking_ spy!” Vivian set her mug down before she could slam it on the ground. Her tone grew louder as the ripples of Light shimmering on her skin grew in intensity. “Stop accusing me of such! I. Am not. A. Spy!”

 

“You’re not allowed to step foot in the Tower. Not until you can prove that you’re not.” Zavala stood up. Petra kept her eye on him, her hand moving to rest just above the hilt of her knife.

 

“That’s fine by me!” The smaller titan threw her arms in the air before letting out a small cry. The Emissary jumped to her feet and caught her before she could stumble into the cabinets. “I’ll hang around with my plants. At least they don’t throw accusations at my face!”

 

“Vivian, calm down” Petra said through gritted teeth. “Cooler heads, yes? Before you make that shoulder worse.”

 

“How is your shoulder, Vivian?” Ikora stood up and approached the pair of Awoken. She reached out and touched the mottled flesh. The titan hissed but didn’t lash out or jerk away. “Does your Ghost struggle to heal your wounds?”

 

“Yeah. Even healing salves are barely doing anything to it.”

 

“Here. Come. It’s all right, Petra.” The Warlock led Vivian over to the far end of the flat. She helped the younger Guardian sit down on a floor cushion but remained standing herself. “Close your eyes. All your thoughts, all your fears, let them go. Let everything go.”

 

Vivian nodded, relaxed, and shut her eyes. She meditated often enough. But over the past few days events have kept her from doing so. Eventually, all the worries and stressors within her mind disappeared.

 

“Ghost, try healing her shoulder again. You should see a different result now.”

 

Ripple moved to the pair and began trying to heal Vivian’s shoulder. To their surprise, the bruising was disappearing at a much faster rate than before. They continued to use their Light on her shoulder until all of the bruising was gone.

 

“Sometimes one’s own mental state can deter healing” Ikora explained in a calm tone. She still hadn’t taken her hand off Vivian’s good shoulder. “If you experience the same problem again, have her meditate, or asleep.”

 

“I will. Thank you, Ikora.” Ripple shifted once they stopped healing their Guardian. They hovered closer. “Why is she shaking?”

 

“Shaking?” Cayde stepped over and picked up Vivian’s arm. Her eyes snapped open. Luckily the Hunter Vanguard was faster than her wild swing. Now awake, however, the poor titan was beginning to tremble all over.

 

Petra said something to Zavala and excused herself. She stepped outside to the porch and closed the door after herself. This left the Vanguard to ponder the titan’s new issue.

 

“My shoulder doesn’t hurt anymore.” Vivian raised her shaky arm up and began to roll her shoulder. “I feel weird though.”

 

“Have you ever had coffee before, kid?” Cayde dared approach the titan again. He knelled down and stared her in the eyes. “Tell us how you’re feeling.”

 

“My chest feels funny.” Her hand lowered and hovered over her heart. “Like my heart’s fluttering a lot. It doesn’t feel nice.”

 

Petra pulled the door to the porch open and hurried inside. She grabbed the pitcher usually reserved for their iced tea, filled it instead with ice and water. Hurrying over to the titan she poured a glass out and handed it to her.

 

“Drink. You’re drinking all of this.”

 

“What, why?” Vivian saw the serious look on Petra’s face and decided it would be better to comply. Every time her glass went empty the Emissary filled it again.

 

“I contacted someone and inquired about your medical history from your first life. You can’t tolerate caffeine.”

 

“You’re serious? That’s why I have to drink all this? Here here, just give me the damn pitcher.” With a tenacity and stubbornness as any other Titan, Vivian took the pitcher and began to drink right out of it. She crunched on the ice in between large gulps as her shaking continued on.

 

“Five hundred Glimmer says she won’t finish it” Cayde said as he approached Petra. She glanced at him and offered her hand.

 

“Deal.”

 

“Don’t make my sorrow a betting game!” Vivian let out a whine before taking in a deep breath. She finished off the pitcher, ice and all before collapsing into the cushions scattered all over the floor. Petra smirked at Cayde as his own smile vanished.

 

“I feel like I’m going to vomit.” She turned her head and looked at one of her hands. Still shaking. “How long’s this gonna last?”

 

“A few hours at the most. Just relax right there for now.”

 

Vivian groaned quietly. Her chest felt like there was a bird flapping its wings against her rib cage trying to break out. Ripple remained close, electing to simply watch rather than take any additional action. With their Guardian too worked up to meditate there probably wasn’t anything they could do.

 

Zavala sat down on a cushion next to Vivian. She stared at him while moving her hands over her stomach.

 

“I hope you’re happy” the smaller Titan spat out. “I’m utterly miserable. Is that what you want?”

 

“No. I only hope that once you’re more settled down that you will understand where we’re coming from.”

 

“More settled down- from what I can remember, Commander, is that since we arrived in the Reef nothing’s been ‘settled down.’ Why do you think I’m not married ye-” Vivian stopped herself with a hand to her mouth. Zavala’s eyes narrowed before he shook his head.

 

“Is there something more you wish to divulge?”

 

“Nope. None of your business, seriously.”

 

The Titan Vanguard turned to Petra and raised a brow. She shrugged and shook her head. Vivian would have to thank her later for that cover.

 

“In any case,” Zavala turned back to the smaller titan, “until we can be sure that you will not leak sensitive information- willingly or not, you are not permitted to return to the Tower. Is that understood?”

 

“Yeah. Perfectly fine with me.”

 

“You will be a liaison between the Queen and Guardians who venture to the Reef and will be debriefed fully when you get there on what your full tasks pertain to.”

 

“Got that part already.”

 

“Are you taking any of this seriously?”

 

“You drink all that water while feeling like a fish is swimming in your chest and you’re keeping your hands on live wires. Go on, I’m waiting.” The pair of titans glared at each other. A flutter of wings, movement of material caused everyone to turn their attention to the porch door. A Crow stood on the floor, staring at the group. It tilted its head one way then the other before deciding to fly again. Before Petra could grab it, the Crow gently landed next to Vivian’s head and settled down.

 

The very sight of the machine made Zavala’s brow stitch together in a frown. He stood up but kept his eyes on the Crow. Vivian opened her mouth as if to say something but stopped herself. Better to remain quiet for now than have to suddenly protect one of Uldren’s bots. Especially with how uncomfortable she felt.

 

“Is it possible we could move, you know, yelling at how much of a disappointment I am to you to another day? I feel awful enough as it is and that’s just from that coffee.” Despite her jab, it must’ve been the potential for the prince himself to be listening to them that got to Zavala.

 

“We will discuss matters another time, yes.” He left the flat without another word. Ikora ignored the Crow’s existence for the most part as she departed. Cayde, on the other hand, flipped the bird-machine off before trailing after the Warlock Vanguard.

 

Now that they were gone, Petra sat down next to Vivian. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

 

“I’m sorry I’ve been a pain in the ass” Vivian muttered.

 

“You’re fine. Really.” Petra reached out and held the titan’s arm. “Just stop nearly getting in fights with the man? He nearly wiped the floor with you a few days ago.”

 

“No guarantees” Uldren’s voice crackled in from the Crow. It raised its head and looked at Petra. “She’s a glutton for punishment.”

 

The titan frowned. She had not the energy at the moment to quip back. Well she had _too much_ energy. It was doing all the worse things for her heart.

 

“Any plans other than focusing on not having cardiac distress, Vivi?”

 

“None that I can think of since I just got banned from the Tower. You think they know what I did?”

 

“Maybe. Likely not.” Petra let out a quiet sigh and rose to her feet. “Don’t get into any more trouble, okay? Your Grace, I only hope you help keep her nose clean until she returns to the Reef.”

 

“I have plenty the Guardian can assist with from here.”

 

The Awoken nodded, muttering a sort of agreement as she packed up what little she needed for the Tower. She turned and gave a pair the best warning glare she could before departing.

 

“Thank you for still being here.” Vivian turned her head towards the Crow and smiled softly. “So, a few days before I’m home again, right?”

 

“Correct.” The Crow stood up and moved to sit on her chest. “You do have some work that you can complete from here. Unless you want one of your lazy days and just lay about. Like a lazy.”

 

“How often did I have those sorts of days back then?”

 

“Not often enough to rid the bags under your eyes.” They shared a small chuckle together.

 

And for a long while, the Guardian and Crow laid among the cushions. They watched the trees, the clouds through the leaves. But after who knew how long the Guardian carefully rose to her feet and retreated to the washroom. When she returned, her shaking was at a minimal. But she had also turned off the lights to the flat on her way back.

 

“You said you had work for me today. I’m guessing it’s all stuff you don’t wanna do?”

 

“No...”

 

“Uldren, I know that tone. Don’t lie to me.” She gave him a half frown but a smile moments later. Extending her arm, the Crow flew up and perched on her shoulder. Together the pair made their way up to her room, to her desk and tablet.

 

“It’s all boring paperwork. So boring that every other Crow I ask to do it asks for more pay.”

 

Vivian let out a laugh and watched the Crow perch at the edge of the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna thank all yall for continuing to check in and read up the latest chapters <3 <3 <3 <3


	10. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the big day. Vivian departs from the Last City and returns to the Reef.
> 
> And proceeds to utterly embarrass herself. Great first impressions.

The next few days were much in the same. Paperwork, reports gathered from raw surveillance footage, and compilation and organization of those feeds. It was becoming increasingly familiar, and the prince was approving of her methods and increasing amount of detail.

 

“You’re falling into old habits” he’d comment. “Good ones.”

 

His praise made her work even harder. She couldn’t help the smile or blush when he praised her despite his teasing. They worked late into the earth-night and to the day for the first 48 hours. The Crow fell silent for a while the second night. Vivian, too, was all but asleep with her head on her desk when she heard an odd noise coming from her companion.

 

“You’re both asleep? Adorable.” Jolyon’s voice spoke through the Crow as it sat in its ‘nest’ of a single purple pillow. “Oh no, I woke one up.”

 

“Is he really asleep” Vivian asked quietly. She sat up before rubbing her face. The room was dark. Outside beyond her porch the wall protecting the city was lit with the light from the Traveler. Insects that had flashed like tiny lights flitted about in her plants. For once the City itself seemed to be sleeping. It wasn't that loud beyond her porch.

 

“Yeah. I’m getting him to bed. You should get some shut eye too, Vi. You’re coming home tomorrow.”

 

“Nah, I thought I would stay up another night, get the bags back under my eyes.” She smirked at her own joke but received silence from the other end. Her smile died in an instant. In an effort to distract herself she deactivated her tablet and stuffed it in the same bag that occupied her drawings and journals.

 

For the first time in the last few days, Vivian was alone with her thoughts. She felt energy pent up in her muscles and didn’t feel tired enough to get some sleep. Instead, the titan headed downstairs to the dark flat.

 

Except, she wasn’t alone. Petra sat at a chair, her attention occupied with whatever task was set upon her own tablet. A frown found its way in her features but softened upon realizing that she was no longer alone.

 

“How long have you been awake” she asked the Guardian. Vivian shrugged off the other’s concern as she sat down in another chair.

 

“Don’t know. Uldren passed out while we were working.” They shared small laughter as the smaller Awoken pulled her legs up and crossed them in front of herself.

 

“He’s probably been awake longer than you have” Petra replied.

 

“Probably.”

 

They let the silence occupy the room once more. The only thing that could be heard was the quiet City through the porch door. A gentle breeze picked up, blowing through the trees’ leaves. Flashes of light from the Traveler poked through and danced about on the floor, cushions, grouped up pots of plants. The flat itself felt like it had less life aside from the group of plants all gathered in one area near the porch windows. Ready to be transmatted to her ship come morning. The irrigation and sun lights were already packed in her hauler.

 

Her eyes clouded suddenly with tears. Vivian merely blinked them away, allowing them to stream down her cheeks. Petra only looked up when her flatmate took a shaky breath.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I want to go home but...don’t want to leave here, either.” The excitement that had given her energy had drained and solidified into a rock that sat in her gut. “You’re going to be alone here. That’s not fair...”

 

“I’ll manage just fine. Don’t upset yourself on my behalf.”

 

“But-”

 

“No. Don’t. I mean it.” Petra set her tablet down in her lap. She crossed her hands over the screen. “Are you getting upset because the prince isn’t here?”

 

“...No.” Vivian looked down to her lap. She fiddled with her fingers. “He said I was scared to be alone. I guess I’m just scared of others being alone, too.”

 

“Well, I’ll be fine, Vivian. Really.” A soft frown formed on Petra’s face when she didn’t receive an answer. “You’re tired. Go get some sleep.”

 

Vivian let out a sigh and nodded before rising to her feet. There was no real way to argue it. When she stretched she could feel her joints crack. Definitely too much time spent sitting. Moving everything the next few days will certainly be fun.

 

* * *

 

A knock at the door stirred the titan from her sleep. Daylight found its way through her open curtains. Birds chirped outside.

 

Again, another knock. Louder.

 

Vivian let out a grumble and hurried to the door. When she opened it a pair of Corsairs stood before her. Each of them held a box, each wrapped in purple foil.

 

“I hope you’re not expecting to return to the Reef in _that_ ” one of them commented. The trio shared a small chuckle as the titan let them in her room.

 

“I was honestly thinking of just wearing nothing. Like, nothing at all, period.”

 

“The prince asked us to bring you proper attire” the other Corsair replied. She was struggling to keep a straight face whilst the first Corsair was snickering. “We will be waiting for you downstairs when you are ready.”

 

“Ooo, more presents. Thank you, thank you. Uh….” Vivian took each box in her arms and nodded the Corsairs out. Once she was alone in her room again she opened each box.

 

Inside the first box was a set of brushes, pallets and tubes of pigments. A mirror rested beneath everything inside the box. As she removed each piece she remained perplexed to what it all was. And it wasn’t like she could ask the sender- Uldren, nor the Crow, had made a single peep all night. It was likely the poor man was still asleep.

 

The second, larger box, contained a deep green, long-sleeved dress. When she put it up against her own body, the skirt stopped at her knees. Slits along each side went up to her hip. But under the dress was an air-tight bodysuit dyed black. Underneath everything else was a box of hair pins adorned with flowers made of sparkling gems. Vivian set out each piece before heading to the washroom to shower.

 

When she returned she was still expecting nothing from the Crow. So she sat down at her desk and began to research what it was he had sent.

 

“Your only task is to get to the Reef.” Uldren’s voice nearly caused Vivian to scream and chuck her tablet at the Crow. She had elected to walk about and sit in her room without any clothing to air dry.

 

“How long have you been there?!”

 

“Stop screaming. Not like I haven’t seen you naked before, woman.”

 

“How long?!”

 

“Ten minutes tops.”

 

Vivian huffed and frowned heavily. She glanced at the pallets and brushes before her, then to the Crow.

 

“What is this stuff?”

 

“Makeup.”

 

“How do I use it?”

 

“You used it nearly every day for thousands of years. The memory hasn’t returned?”

 

“No, it hasn’t.”

 

Her frown softened as he explained what everything was. With great patience he even helped her through some of her old routine until she began to mindlessly resume her old steps.

 

“See? It’s muscle memory” Uldren commented. “I’m retrieving this Crow for now. I’ll meet you when you get here, understood?”

 

“Yessir” Vivian replied. She watched the Crow take off and arc into the sky until it was out of sight. She let out a sigh and finished up quickly. By the time she was done, and she glanced at herself in the small mirror, she could finally recognize herself. The markings that normally adorned her skin were covered up for the time being.  _Vivian Mou_ , the titan told herself. _I am her. She is me._ Before she packed the mirror away she pinned her hair back away from her face.

 

First the suit, then the dress. Both fit her yet were comfortable and easy to move in. Not like she would have to engage in combat. If that happened, she’d have Ripple swap the clothing for her armor. The last thing to be put on was her badge.

 

“Rip. Next time I find one I’ll paint you a new shell. Promise.” At their mention, Ripple appeared next to Vivian. Their shell was angled downward over their optic.

 

“I don’t like that we’re leaving.”

 

“I know, bud. We’ll be back before you know it, okay? I’ll miss the food here too much to never come back.”

 

“Promise me. That we’ll come back. Please.”

 

“Hey, hey.” She held her Ghost in her hands and pressed it to her chest. “I promise. Might not be the Tower any time soon, but we will be back. Even if to visit Petra.”

 

“Okay.” Ripple wiggled out of her hands and moved to occupy the space above her left shoulder. Vivian finished packing the last of her effects together before setting her bag on the floor. It vanished in a shimmer of Light. “I’ll go work on the plants.”

 

“Be careful with ‘em. And don’t forget the stuff outside, too.” She didn’t have to tell them twice. Already, they were working on the plants on her porch. They decided to leave the outdoor furniture for Petra if she ever wanted to use it. Since there wouldn’t be any sort of porches in the Reef.

 

Vivian headed downstairs. She caught sight of the Corsairs as they stood with Petra around the coffee brewer. They were laughing, cracking jokes together. It was her flatmate who caught sight of her first.

 

“Uh oh. Hide the coffee, ladies” Petra called out as she set her own cup down. They all laughed, Vivian included, as the Guardian approached the kitchen. Flashes of Light caught her eye as more and more of her plants were being transmatted. She never realized until now just how boring the flat was without them until now.

 

“That was one time. I’m never having any ever again.”

 

One of the Corsairs finished their cup and set it on the counter.

 

“Are we ready to move out, then?”

 

“Not yet. Once my Ghost is done transmatting the flora unto my ship and I can make sure it’s all secure, then we can head out.”

 

“I’ve gotta say” the other Corsair replied, “you’re one of the better Guardians we’ve dealt with. Most of ‘em have attitude problems.”

 

“That’s because Vivian was once close counsel of Queen Mara and Prince Uldren. Before they had those titles” Petra added in. She watched the shock pass over the two women then flashed a small smile to the shortest of the bunch.

 

“So, are you from the Distributary” the first Corsair asked. Vivian nodded, her eyes drifting to watch as her trees vanished outside. It made the light pooling from the porch that much stronger.

 

“It was a paradise. Most of my memories are of those days. Fields of flowers, beautiful forests full of life, lakes with such clear water you could see the fish swimming a dozen meters below the water surface. Water was so clean you could drink right from the source, even.” Speaking of it made her miss her old home even more. She hadn’t explored Earth much in her time here. Maybe once settled in the Reef she could be given permission to explore just a little. Find little pockets of paradise. Little places to paint.

 

Her words carried just as much weight among the Reefborn before her. Petra had heard her go on for hours about the splendor, but to the other two the Distribuary was as mythical as it was to the Emissary. What a shame, for so many of those around to not have knowledge of it.

 

Ripple appeared over her shoulder in a shimmer of Light. They allowed the Corsair still holding her cup to reach out and touch their shell. It made Vivian a little uncomfortable but if Ripple wasn’t protesting, neither would she.

 

“We’re ready to get to the hauler.” Vi turned to Petra. She closed the gap between one another and pulled the woman into a tight embrace. “Come home soon. I’ll make sure we have a little party for you.”

 

“I’m terrified of what you call a _party_ ” Petra said through the hug. She returned it in kind, though, before the two pulled away. “Stay out of trouble, or you’ll end up back here. Understood?”

 

“I’ll behave. Promise.” Vivian put a hand over her chest and raised the other. As she turned to the door, her eyes trailed around the flat one last time. Who knew how long it would be before she returned, if ever. For all she knew, Petra could return back in a matter of days or weeks.

 

Suddenly her urge to remain grew. She didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to leave Petra behind. Her bond with the woman had grown in the last several months.

 

 _You’re going home to your friends. They want you home_ Vivian reminded herself, over and over, as she and the Corsairs left the flat. Considering she was _technically_ banned from the Tower they couldn’t access the Tower’s hangar bay. Instead, she hitched a ride in one of the Corsair’s Galliots as they moved just outside of its walls. Outside of the City, life seemed to barely scrape by. The sunlight was blocked by the massive wall towering over them. Ice sat where the shadows remained while off in the distance the faintest hints of green shone where the light touched.

 

Once they found a secure location she hopped in her own ship, checked on her plants, and headed to the cockpit.

 

“Alright, everything’s green and safe and sound my end. Let’s get going” Vivian called out on their comms. Together the trio arced up into the sky, broke atmosphere, and left Earth’s orbit.

 

Whether it was a nicety or they were to be her escorts, the Galliots kept a slower pace to keep with the larger hauler. Certainly something the titan could appreciate. They also kept the comm traffic to a minimal once they passed Luna. Everything went fine until they entered the Reef itself.

 

Vivian had to give control of the ship over to Ripple. Her hands were shaking as if she had a whole pot of coffee. A Galliot moved in front of her ship and another moved behind because of the narrowing channel. Each bump and rock that bounced off the hull of her ship made her jump. It would have to be something she’d become accustomed to again and hopefully with a ship better suited for the area. 

 

They continued deeper than the Vestian Outpost. The channels grew larger here and eased much of the titan’s worries. More Galliots whizzed by donned with different colors but they all bore the same purple and gold symbol as her escorts. _All of this is Mara’s_ Vivian thought to herself.

 

Looking back, her old friend never seemed like the type to run things out in the open. Whatever happened in her absence certainly changed things. Was it because of the Reef Wars, the conflict that was beginning to escalate when Vivian died? It would make sense. She'd have to consult with other veterans for answers at another time.

 

It was the hull that they approached that was achingly familiar. Her heart started pounding out of her chest. The Guardian feared the sound of it was audible on the comms. Ripple moved next to her face and began to shine Light upon her head.

 

“You’re all right. Nothing’s going on. No need to panic.”

 

“It’s not panic.”

 

_Mara and Sjur led Vivian to the view port. Each Awoken stood on either end of the port, with Sjur raising her arms as if offering the sight as some sort of prize._

 

_“Have you ever wanted your own hospital” the taller woman inquired the shortest of the trio. “All yours to run."_

 

_“We would have to stabilize it first” Mara interjected. She didn’t smile, but the tone of her voice suggested that none of this was being forced. “Sure it up, potentially gut the interior. Do you believe it would make a good medical ship?”_

 

_“Uh...” Vivian took a breath through her teeth at the massive dead ship floating before them. It would certainly be better than the slowly failing ship the entire population had to call a medical ship. This new space would be enough to have a proper labor wing, possibly a medical school…. “Looks like a lot of work.”_

 

_Sjur stepped over to Vivian and wrapped a large arm around her before bringing her closer to the window. Moving a little over, she also managed to pull Mara close as well._

 

_“I mean, I’m really honored that anyone would want me to lead the charge, really” Vivian nearly stumbled her own words under the taller woman’s grip. “But I know nothing in terms of construction. There's sanitation standards that're in every basic textbook, yes. But there's oxygen production, recycling, waste recycling...”_

 

_“There’s a reason I offered your name in the last council meeting, Vivian.” Mara poked her head around Sjur’s chest, her cold eyes staring into Vivian’s own. “If you lead this project, you can have a space for your research.”_

 

 _“If you’re too successful we’ll have an overpopulation issue” Sjur added with a smirk. “_ _Imagine that as your legacy. Vivian Mou: The Woman Who Made it Too Easy To Have Kids.”_

 

_Vivian began to laugh. She tried to hide it behind her hand but with Sjur’s big grin it was impossible to hide it._

 

_“You know I much prefer to be the woman who made you shit your pants for two days straight. Thanks.” The smallest Awoken’s smile grew when Sjur’s smile flipped to a frown. Even Mara had to hide her laughter from her lover._

 

_“A terrible legacy. Awful” Sjur grumbled. “It was one time!”_

 

_“Sure, sure, whatever you say.” Vivian’s gaze returned to the large hull. “You know what? Yeah, I think that space’ll be perfect for medical.”_

 

“Vivian? Reef to Mou, come in.” Uldren held Vivian’s shoulders as he continued to gently shake her. He’d seen others suffer from flashbacks, suffer from wounds even the best doctors couldn’t heal. Whether the Guardian was having such traumatic memories or not, it wasn’t clear. But the glazed over look, shallow breathing, and stillness she had was equally concerning.

 

Suddenly, the Light rippling over exposed flesh blossomed. Heat radiated from under her clothes. The glow and life returned to Vivian’s face in an instant. She stared into Uldren’s eyes before giving him the warmest smile she could muster. The look eased the tension that was building in his chest.

 

“Good memories or bad” he asked her quietly. She blinked a few times and glanced around. They were attached to some sort of dock, yes. But where?

 

“Good one. What did I do to Sjur?” She chuckled when he snorted. They laughed awkwardly together and he loosened his grip on her shoulders.

 

“Sjur and I were supposed to have a duel to the death of sorts. You spiked the woman’s tea with so much laxative she was stuck in a washroom for days.”

 

“Oh. Oh wow. Uh...that’s bad.” Vivian lowered her gaze causing the prince to force down his laughter. Removing his hands from her shoulders Uldren got to his feet. As he moved to give the titan space to get up, he offered his hand to her.

 

“She never let you live it down. Neither did you to her, either. It drove sister nuts every time you two bickered over it.”

 

“But we were still friends?” She took hold of his hand and let him lead her out of her own ship. Before she could think he snagged her bag and strung it over his shoulder.

 

“Do you have any bad memories of the woman?”

 

“I’ve only had three with her in them. None of ‘em were particularly bad.” The dockhands stared at them as they stepped through the airlock. Once in a wider hall Uldren pulled her close with an arm around her shoulders. She instinctively rested her head against his shoulder and moved her own arm around his waist. “Where is she, by the way? I haven’t heard from her.”

 

“Dead. A while after your own questionable demise.”

 

“Oh.” The news hit Vivian in the chest. The excitement of seeing an old friend suddenly vanished. A piece of her heart went with it. And it took all her composure not to cry. She continued to follow him through the hallways. Guards that stood by bowed to the prince as the pair passed by. But the titan could feel the staring. Could feel their eyes watching her as they continued out of sight.

 

“Pay them no mind” Uldren muttered over her head. As much as she wanted to listen, it was a little unnerving. Of course she wouldn’t be trusted by everyone, that was to be expected. But this was her home now. They’d have to get used to her being here. Before the Guardian’s mind could wander further she was stopped at a door. The guards took her bag from Uldren’s shoulder and began to inspect its contents. Nothing more to be done than to simply watch as they went through the piles of pictures, the journals, art supplies, makeup, and half-dirty clothing. As quickly as it was sifted through the contents were returned to the bag and given to its proper owner.

 

The large door opened without much noise to a large throne room. The room itself felt mostly dark with the only sources of light coming from those in the floor and the viewports along one side of the walls. Mara sat in a throne on a dais at the far end and was surrounded by mostly other women. Everyone turned at once to stare at the intruders. Uldren quickened his pace, having since let go of Vivian as she let go of him.

 

“Ah, brother. Fashionably late as usual” Mara called out to him. A few of her council snickered and smiled but fell silent when she turned to look at them. “And you brought our old friend.”

 

 _It’s a Guardian_ Vivian could hear one of the armored women whisper. Several of their gentler faces shifted when they caught sight of the shorter Awoken woman. Uldren nudged her forward and followed as they approached the dais.

 

He was able to take the few steps and bow to Mara. But one of the armored women blocked Vivian. The woman crossed her arms and looked down with a glare.

 

“Abra, stand aside.” Mara’s voice remained level but raised from a normal volume. “Let her approach.”

 

“A Guardian, Your Grace?” Abra turned to face her Queen. Before Mara could reply Vivian ducked around the larger woman and hurried up the steps. She dodged grabbing hands and nearly slipped on the floor next to the prince.

 

“Don’t worry. She has betrayed other Guardians to prove to whom her loyalties lay.”

 

“And how will we know she won’t do such with us?” A fair accusation. One the titan could understand.

 

“Because I’ve known the Queen and Prince longer than you’ve been alive” Vivian replied. The rest of the Queen’s council fell silent. She took a deep breath and clutched her bag close to her side as she stepped toward a table with purple projections. “I remember the Distributary.”

 

The titan opened her bag and began to sort through her illustrations. Those of the flora, fauna, a cabin in the woods, gardens of foreign plants with little signs, she set out for all to see. With hesitation, she set down her first journal filled with sketches of her friends.

 

Even Mara stood up to gaze upon the illustrations. Her fingers ran over the papers and pages. The council all watched, waited to see what their leader’s reaction would be.

 

“Do you remember what made you pick up the hobby” Mara asked Vivian. Vivian shook her head. Mara gave a small nod in return and collected the illustrations up before handing them to their creator. With a wave of her hand, the projection came to life over their heads. Guardian movements, placements, team formations, profiles.

 

A hand rested in the small of the small Awoken’s back. Her eyes caught the prince stopping to stand next to her. The hand didn’t move.

 

“This is the information our Crows have acquired on our guests. They have been kind enough to compile a list of those who are actively working with our Emissary in their Tower.” Another wave, and nearly half the list vanished. “This is where our old friend comes in.”

 

At her words, Uldren led Vivian forward to stand next to Mara. She was stunned to silence when the taller woman put a hand on her shoulder. The looks she got from some made her want to combust.

 

“Vivian Mou will be our liaison between us and the Guardians here until Venj has proven she can come home” Uldren said. The looks only intensified. “Vivian and Petra worked closely in the Tower. She arrives with high praise.”

 

It didn’t seem to convince the armored ones. Vivian wanted to hide behind Uldren, away from their looks. Her stomach was tying itself up in knots. She could feel Ripple trying to soothe her inside her mind but none of their efforts worked.

 

“She was personally trained by the first Wrath” Mara added in. “Between her medical and Crow duties.”

 

Oh, _that_ got their attention. Paladin Abra stepped forward and pointed a finger right at the titan.

 

“Then I wish to see her combat prowess, then.”

 

“Okay, sure.” Vivian shrugged and tipped her head a little. The other Paladins began to mutter to one another but stopped when their Queen led the titan and paladin out of the large room. After following through a series of halls, they ended up in a slightly smaller room. Along the walls training gear was mounted and locked down in brackets. Abra moved to the far side of the room to a collection of long staffs that were nearly as tall as the Paladin.

 

Vivian carefully removed her dress and hair clips before setting them on top of her bag. Ripple appeared over her shoulder.

 

“You’re not seriously doing this, are you” they asked. The titan made a quiet noise as she too approached the long staffs. They were longer than she was tall and when she picked one up it had a good amount of weight to it.

 

“None of your Light” Abra snarled over her head. Vivian looked at her, then to Ripple, and narrowed her eyes.

 

“No, that wouldn’t be fair, would it?” As fast as they appeared Ripple vanished in a shimmer. “Lil bud’s just trying to talk me out of this.” She earned a snort from the taller woman.

 

“I thought you were trained by Sjur herself.”

 

“Most likely. But my memory’s got more holes in it than some of the hulls floating around outside.” Vivian smiled when Abra snorted. She earned a slap to the shoulder.

 

“So what _do_ you remember besides frolicking through the woods and flowers then?”

 

“Uh...it’s all jumbled.” As much as the smaller woman tried to focus and force memories forward, all it did was make her head hurt.

 

“All right, no matter. See that mark on the ground over there?” Abra turned Vivian and pointed to a white mark on the dark metal floor. “Stand there.”

 

Vivian did as she was told, all while spinning the staff around her wrist. When she got there and faced the Paladin, her vision seemed to warp.

 

And for a moment, Sjur stood where Abra did. But she was smiling, silently saying something off to the side. As fast as the vision came it vanished.

 

“Stop spacing” Abra called out. A few of the Paladins standing off to the side chuckled. Vivian nodded and took a deep breath.

 

Uldren stood next to Mara, who was sitting in a chair away from her council. While she was calm, Uldren shifted his weight from one foot to another. His arms were crossed, chin tipped toward his chest.

 

“You should’ve mentioned that Vivian was a bad fighter” he muttered just loud enough for his sister to hear. She merely glanced up at him before returning her attention to the match.

 

Abra was the first to make a move. She closed the gap between the two and aimed to dislodge the staff from Vivian’s hands. Vivian blocked the shot before taking a step back. It left her open for a sweep that nearly sent the Guardian tumbling.

 

With no grace, the smaller woman corrected herself. Just in time to get the end of the staff to her side. Another shot forced the staff from her hands. Another threw her unto her back.

 

_Sjur stood over Vivian. The taller woman hadn’t even broken a sweat yet._

 

_“Awful. Get up.” She pulled the smaller woman to her feet and handed her staff back. When her eyes caught how Vivian was holding the staff she moved to correct. “Wrong. Not so close. It’s not a sword, Vivian.”_

 

_“Swords are easier” she replied. Her whole body was sore from the top of her head to her toes._

 

_“You’re not touching a sword until you get the hang of this.”_

 

“You’re spacing again” Abra said as she nudged Vivian’s leg with her staff. Vivian blinked a few times and took a deep breath.

 

“I was getting my ass kicked there, too” Vivian replied with a smile. Abra smiled, shook her head, and offered a hand up. The smaller woman took hold. Then threw the larger woman to the ground. As quickly as she could she put the Paladin in a choke hold. Fearing killing the woman she didn’t apply enough force and was rewarded by being forced unto the ground.

 

“Sneaky little witch” Abra hissed through her teeth. She returned the choke hold but with much more force. It was getting hard for Vivian to breathe. Her vision was darkening. Her hands tried to find a staff, or the floor, or something that wasn’t connected to the larger woman. As she grew more desperate, something made contact with her hand. She gripped it and did her best to spin it around and hit Abra somewhere, anywhere.

 

Whatever it was that she used earned her freedom. When Vivian crawled away, gasping for air, vision returning, she saw it was one of the staffs. The other Paladins standing off to the side weren’t smiling anymore. Turning to Abra she gasped when she saw blood streaming down the side of the woman’s head.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” Vivian began to plea. When she drew closer, however, Abra ripped the staff from her hands and slammed the end into the smaller woman’s temple.

 

Vivian dropped to the ground. She was still, eyes open, staring forward. Abra snarled and moved her leg with the staff.

 

“Spacer. Come on.” Her glare softened and began to turn to panic as she knelt down. Uldren hurried over as well, his hand beating Abra’s to check the Guardian’s pulse. He swallowed hard and sat back.

 

“She’s dead. Congrats Paladin Zire. You killed a Guardian.”

 

“They come back. Don’t they, my liege?” Panic began to fill Abra’s voice. She moved to turn Vivian unto her back but Uldren slapped her hands away. He double checked for a pulse, then for a breath. Before he could gather her up, Ripple appeared. They moved to block both the prince's and paladin's hands.

 

“Please stand back. She may lash out when she comes back.” The Ghost hovered over their Guardian’s still body and watched as the prince and paladin both backed away.

 

Light gathered around its core as its shell expanded with the Light. In a flash, Vivian pushed her upper half up on her arms, gasping for air. She fell back down and gripped her head as a long stream of curses and expletives streamed from between her lips.

 

Uldren was the first to approach. He put a hand on her arm and tried to peer at the wound Vivian was clutching. She snarled and grew louder when she realized Abra was coming closer too.

 

“My fucking head’s killing me, Rip” Vivian snarled out. “Traveler be fucking damned it fucking hurts. Holy shit...”

 

Ripple spun around Abra’s head before turning to their Guardian. Their shell expanded a little as Light shimmered around Vivian’s head.

 

“If you don’t lighten up on the cursing we’re going to set up a swear jar” Uldren said in a quiet voice. He was the only one to laugh but finally got her to move her hand. The bruising that had started appearing was receding before his eyes.

 

Abra couldn’t believe her eyes. She heard Guardians were immortal. This was the first time one had died to her hands and came back before her very eyes. She watched the Ghost with its floral shell spin about as its Guardian stirred more. It stopped floating and examined her own wound.

 

“I’m afraid I can’t heal others. Only my Guardian” it said to her. “Apologies.”

 

“Nah, it’s fine. Don’t worry bout it lil guy.” She reached out and was surprised that the Ghost allowed her to touch it. Her hand moved away when a couple of the other paladins approached.

 

“ _Easy_ ” the prince insisted when Vivian tried to jump to her feet. She stumbled and nearly sent them both to the ground. Her vision was spinning, but gradually getting better. Her hands grasped for something to help keep her steady. Uldren pulled her close to keep her from falling over. Ripple found their way over to their Guardian. They resumed using the Light to help her concussion.

 

“Leave us, Paladin.” Mara appeared behind the Crows. Abra bowed, collected the staffs back to storage, and promptly left the room. Once the trio were alone she pointed to the chair she was sitting in earlier. Uldren helped guide Vivian to the chair with more patience than his sister thought he possessed.

 

“I got my ass handed to me.” Vivian let out a dizzy chuckle. Her head rolled back and hit the wall, inciting a pained cry. “I didn’t wanna kill ‘er.”

 

“So did you back” Mara asked.

 

“I can die a million times ‘slong as Ripple’s safe. Not so much in her case.” The lights shining above their heads were too bright. They made the titan’s head hurt more. Her eyes snapped shut as Ripple started another round of healing.

 

“Brother, return her to the Outpost. Her duties start in a few days.” Uldren nodded and watched his sister leave the training room. He let out a heavy sigh before running a hand through his black hair.

 

“Did I scare you” Vivian asked quietly. One of her eyes had drifted open just enough to catch sight of him.

 

“Were you getting memories in your fight” he asked back. She shifted a little and closed her eye.

 

“I kept seeing Sjur. She kicked my ass a lot, huh?”

 

“Yeah. For spiking her tea with laxatives.”

 

“That was one time!” Vivian gripped her head when she raised her voice. The echo the room had was awful.

 

“You also wanted to learn how to fight in case the Eliksni attacked the hospitals. Never finished your training when...”

 

“When I died” she interjected. “I’m sorry ‘bout that. The dying part, I mean.” She opened both eyes this time. The lights weren’t so bright, but her vision still felt rather off. She focused on his ember-colored eyes that seemed to make the rest of the galaxy stop spinning. There was something there that made her feel like everything would be fine.

 

“I told you to not apologize for everything.” Uldren broke his gaze from Vivian. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. She opened her mouth to speak. “ _Woman._ ”

 

Vivian smiled. She was still in too much pain to laugh. The silence that followed as Ripple started one last wave of healing Light was comfortable. Her eyes drifted shut. Drowsiness began to creep its way into her bones. The last thing she could remember was staring up at him, and that dumb little smile of his.


	11. Mediocre Intermediaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivian's first day on the job. As much as she'd enjoy having at least one day go right, something always has to throw a wrench in it all. Especially when those wrenches are ones she wished she'd never see again.

The next was waking up in bed. Judging from the lights that hung down from overhead, she was still in the Reef. She’d been changed out of her suit to her sleep clothes. Ripple rested atop a purple pillow on the nightstand next to her head. When she began to stir they woke up as well.

 

“Rip, how’d I...” Vivian’s voice drifted. She laid back down in the bed, under the thick, heavy, purple comforter. If she wasn’t stopped she’d sleep for an eternity.

 

“The prince brought you home and changed you. I told him to leave you dressed but he wouldn’t listen. I’d like to give him a piece of my mind.”

 

“Leave ‘im be, Rip. Not the first time he’s probably had to do that.” And she’d have to thank him later. Honestly she would’ve been fine being left on the floor in that training room. This bed was certainly going to be her own downfall with just how _comfortable_ it was.

 

“If he does it again I will not hesitate to-”

 

“Ripple, it’s _fine._ I don’t mind if it’s him.”

 

“I don’t want him taking advantage of you. That’s all.” Ripple’s shell shifted. It angled downward over their optical. “And before you say it, I know you wouldn’t mind that. I see your dreams and memories too, you know.”

 

Vivian puffed her cheeks. She turned away from Ripple and pulled the blanket close to her head. A warm blush found its way to her cheeks.

 

“You’ve been asleep for the better part of a day.” Ripple floated over so she could see them. “Someone will be by to check on you. They have a couple times already.”

 

“Who” Vivian asked.

 

“The man who’s always around Uldren. Jolyon, I think it was? He brought me this pillow.” At the mention of the pillow, Ripple zoomed over and rested their shell down on it.

 

“Aw, how sweet.” She rolled back over. Her eyes caught sight of the pillow and she smiled. “You could have shared mine, you know.” After all, her bed was clearly meant for two. It made her feel small. But damn, if it wasn’t comfortable!

 

Before she could stop herself, Vivian drifted back off to sleep. While her first rest was relatively dreamless, her second was not.

 

 _Vivian was on a war path. Anger boiled in her blood as she stomped to her home’s tallest bedroom. Uldren had told her of the duel he was going to have with a Paladin. One that was_ _going to be to the death._ _Her older sister Lilli had spoken of Sjur and her exploits. All the Corsairs did in the academy. She was a legend. A skilled archer who had yet to find another who_ _could best_ _her with a bow._

 

_Uldren didn’t seem concerned. Not until Vivian broke down in tears in front of him. She couldn’t lose him. No._

 

_She wouldn’t._

 

 _There was a plan. There was_ always _a plan._

 

_Sjur opened the door when Vivian knocked. The woman was tall, much taller than she. Her arms were nearly the size of Vivian’s head._

 

_“Yes” the woman asked._

 

_“I made you some tea” Vivian replied. She hefted the tray that was in her hands. There was the self-heating pot, a pair of non-matching cups, and a plate of treats. There was a slight glimmer in the larger woman’s eye, and she let the smaller inside._

 

_“I’m surprised” Sjur said out loud. “I may very well kill your lover tomorrow, and you bring me tea?”_

 

_“I’m no barbarian.” Vivian set the tray on a table. “And I only hope that my ability to heal will outweigh your ability to maim and kill.”_

 

_“So you’re watching, then? Did Mara tell you to?”_

 

 _“Mara doesn’t tell me what to do.”_ _Vivian spoke with such conviction. Yet it was true: while Mara was able to manipulate others, even her own brother, to do her bidding, she usually allowed Vivian do what she wanted._ _Everything she seemed to do benefited Mara somehow, anyway._

 

_“Then why stay around” Sjur asked. She sat down in one of the two chairs at the table and watched as the smaller woman poured the first cup of tea._

 

_“Because they’re my friends. My only friends.” Vivian handed the cup to Sjur and poured herself a cup. Before she was done pouring her first, Sjur waited for her second._

 

_“What did you put in this tea?”_

 

_“Chamomile with a hint of raspberries.” She poured the woman a second cup with a smile. “I cannot tolerate caffeine so all the tea in the house is without.”_

 

_“Yeah, I found out when I accidentally made myself a whole pot of decaf coffee this morning.” Sjur sampled one of the treats off the plate. She seemed to approve. And proceeded to try them with her drink._

 

 _“Well if you read the label it says decaffeinated right there.” Vivian finally sat down across from Sjur. She sipped some of her tea, using the cup to hide the smirk on her face._ _Especially when the taller woman glared at her. “If you’d like I can fetch for some_ _of the_ _normal caffeinated variety.”_

 

_“Don’t bother.”_

 

_Their conversation was lost to time. It was so mundane, so normal, so boring. But Vivian sat, talked, listened, had tea and treats with the woman who might very well end her closest friend's life the next day._

 

_The next morning rolled by. Vivian wanted to keep Uldren in bed, keep the day’s impending doom away. He stopped arguing when she dipped below the sheets and used her mouth as persuasion._

 

 _When a knock echoed from the door it was Vivian who answered. She slip_ _ped_ _into a robe and keep her composure easier than her lover. Instead of Sjur, she was greeted with Mara. The taller woman stood there, arms crossed, a frown set on her face._

 

_“What did you do to Sjur yesterday” was the first accusation. Uldren wrapped a sheet around himself and joined Vivian at the door._

 

 _“Why? Is she dead”_ _he questioned._

 

 _“No. She ha_ _s had_ _violent diarrhea_ _all night_ _. The first match is called off for today.”_

 

 _Uldren snorted._ _He couldn’t stop the smile that formed on his face._

 

_"What did you do, Vivi" he asked quietly._

 

_“I didn’t do anything” Vivian replied. Her expression was calm. But the weight of the whole world was off her shoulders. At least for today, Uldren’s life was spared. “Maybe it was from dinner?”_

 

_“None of us are ill.” Mara’s eyes narrowed. “You’re a terrible liar, Vivian.”_

 

_“I’m telling the truth.”_

 

_“No, you’re not. You’re going to go and-”_

 

“Vivian.” There was a firm hand on her shoulder. “Get up.”

 

When she opened her eyes it wasn’t to the sight of the prince. Jolyon let go of her shoulder and let out a sigh.

 

“How’s your head? Heard you got your clocked cleaned by a Paladin.”

 

“It’s fine.” Vivian sat up and glanced around. Sure enough, back in the Reef. Back in the Vestian Outpost, in her room. The last day was a blur. “Where’s Uldren?”

 

“Off doing...whatever he does.” He waved a hand in the air. “Asked me to keep and eye on you until you were feeling better. If that’s the case I’ve got better stuff to do.”

 

Ripple hovered above their Guardian’s shoulder, shell shifting. There was something they were seeing that she just wasn’t. But drowsiness was rearing its ugly head her way. She had to get out of bed. Vivian forced herself up and stretched. Her whole body was sore and felt slow. Blue eyes followed Jolyon as he motioned to a plain black box sitting on her desk.

 

“Your new job starts today. Petra will be on call if you need help.” The crow headed for the door but stopped just shy. “There’s something in there for your Ghost, too.” Before the titan could ask any questions he slipped out the door without another word. She watched the door close and let out a slow sigh.

 

She closed the gap between her bed and desk. _I see why I put the rug down_ Vivian thought to herself as she took a few steps unto the polished asteroid floor. It was nearly freezing to her bare feet. She’d have to remember to get some kind of slipper to wear around aside from her boots. Ripple scanned the box and let out a series of beeps as their shell shifted.

 

“I can’t scan its contents” they said in a frustrated huff.

 

“’Cause it’s presents for both of us. He probably didn’t want you to peek.” Vivian flashed a smile and opened the box. Inside was a tablet not unlike what Petra was using in the Tower, and a Ghost shell. It was a little pocketed from damage but nothing that couldn’t be filled or fixed. Its red and blue paint was chipping and would need to be primed before any new paint could be applied.

 

“Oh!” Ripple scanned the shell. “Its last owner didn’t die. Seems like they just threw the thing out. Wonder where it came from….”

 

“I need to pretty it up before you start using it” Vivian replied. She tucked the shell away in the same drawer as her paint brushes. Her eyes stared at the blank screen that seemed to stare right back. There wasn’t anything special to the tablet itself. Nothing worth noting, anyway. When she turned it on a small sensor scanned her face and logged her in immediately.

 

There was a list sitting on the screen. Cargo manifests, profiles of the Guardians tasked with moving shipments, lists and profiles of teams who have gotten clearance to work in the Reef, bounties posted, and patrol times of the Vestian Guard. And that was just some of what she had access to. Before exploring further, however, Vivian set the tablet down and explored her room. There was another door, adjacent to the storage room, that she hadn’t explored. Behind it was a washroom complete with a shower and mirror over the sink. A quick, cold shower later, and she was changing into some of her old clothes.

 

Her tablet started beeping. She hurried over and swiped the screen with her finger.

 

“Did someone sleep in” Petra asked. Her voice was like music to Vivian’s ears. Hopefully the woman couldn’t see her blush and childish grin.

 

“I slept off a concussion. I thought Ma- the Queen said I had a few days before I started?” Vivian bit her tongue as she sat down at the desk. She began carefully pinning her hair back away from her face.

 

“There has been increased activity around the Reef. Queen Mara believes we need more Guardians now rather than later.”

 

“Of course. So...I basically do what you do there, right? I just gotta handle the Guardians here?”

 

“Short explanation, yes. I want to tell you now that if they start arguing with you it’s not worth it. Just call a guard over and they’ll handle it.”

 

“That’s boring. I can take a Guardian on mano-a-mano.” Vivian used the screen’s reflection to check her hair. She took the tablet with her to her washroom to double check in the mirror. If she focused hard enough the markings on her face didn’t make her feel so...off.

 

“From what I heard you couldn’t even take on a Paladin. And your Crucible record says the same.” She could feel Petra’s smile and sass through the tablet. Word traveled fast, it seemed. Of course they’d gloat about knocking a Guardian out with one hit.

 

 _Awful. Unacceptable,_ Sjur’s voice echoed in her head. She could just picture the woman’s frown, her tapping foot.

 

“I was trying to not kill her” Vivian hissed. “It wouldn’t be a good look to kill one of Mara’s council my first day here.” The silence on the other end of the line helped cool her blood. She rose to her feet and pulled her boots on.

 

“Call me if you have an issue, okay?” There was concern in Petra’s voice. Just enough for the titan to notice. “And try not to get into any fights please.”

 

“Yes _mom_ ” Vivian replied. Petra snorted and the comms went silent. The smaller woman chuckled to herself as she hurried out the room, out to the main public walkway.

 

Already waiting were a couple teams of Guardians. Some had elected to remove their helms as they stood around a station on the walkway. Vivian straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin as she approached the station. On her approach the station's screens flickered to life.

 

“We’ve been waiting” one of the Guardians whined. “What took so long?”

 

“I apologize. May I have your team-”

 

Someone pushed forward in the group. When she cared to look up from her tablet, her pale skin turned paler.

 

“The fuck’re you doing here” Rueben asked. His helmet was stuffed under his arm. He stood close enough to Vivian to be able to breathe down on her. Sparks wasn’t too far behind. No one seemed to want to pull him away.

 

“I am the new liaison.” She kept her chin up as her eyes stared back into his. “Is there an issue?”

 

“Yeah. You’re a fucking traitor” Sparks called out from the crowd. Some of the unmasked Guardians looked to one another. Quiet words were beginning to spread.

 

“You shouldn’t have left.” Rueben leaned closer to her face. He gave her a toothy grin. “Little bitch. Too hard to be a Guardian, wasn’t it?”

 

“Get away from me” Vivian growled back. She moved to set her tablet down on a nearby table but Rueben swatted it out of her hands. The screen shattered in dozens of pieces when it landed.

 

“Is there an issue?” A couple Crows walked over. The larger one, Vivian recognized. Bartok crossed his arms and stuck his leg out a little as the Guardians began to stare at the new crowd.

 

“Oh look, the spies are covering for the spy.” Spark stepped closer to Rueben. He put a hand on his teammate’s shoulder. “How cute.”

 

“What, her? She’s no spy. She’s part of the Queen’s council” Bartok replied. His gaze went to the broken tablet on the ground. He clucked and shook his head. “Ohh, who did that?”

 

“Vivian’s clumsy.” Rueben turned his head only to glare at the shorter Awoken for a few moments. He caught sight of guards approaching now, too.

 

“Not what we saw.” Bartok’s calm expression turned. He moved to stand closer to Rueben but the other Crows held him back.

 

“Easy now.” Vivian held a hand out towards him, another towards the Guardians. At once, Bartok took a few steps back and bowed his head. When he did, the other Crows did as well. It caused her to turn and check that the prince wasn’t hiding behind her. He wasn’t, thankfully.

 

Now her attention turned to the Guardians.

 

“I’ll forgive this one transgression” she said out loud. Her chin raised back up. “Only this one. I need fireteam names, then I can send you all off with your bounties. Submission can be done via your Ghosts. No need to come back until you need more.”

 

“Yeah.” Spark stepped forward now with the closest thing to a smile she could recognize. "Fireteam Fuck Traitors." He and Rueben shared a low five when she turned to go through the computer.

 

“Huh. Funny. No team with such a name. Hey, there’s a Fireteam Dickweasels here, though.” Vivian returned a toothy grin. A couple of the Guardians snorted. Everyone but Rueben and Spark began to laugh. Before she could dismiss the pair though, a couple of guards approached. One moved to the shattered tablet while the other stopped next to the titan.

 

“Everything okay over here” she asked Vivian. Though the woman’s helm seemed to block her vision, she was still seemingly staring at the Guardians. Her hand sat on her hip. Just above her sidearm.

 

“Someone got a little pissy over here. Nothing to worry about” the smaller woman replied.

 

“Who broke the tablet” the other guard questioned. She held it out for everyone to see, like a mother about to scold her children.

 

“Those two Guardians did” Bartok replied. He pointed an accusatory finger at Rueben and Sparks. “Threatening the princess and-”

 

“I hold no such title” Vivian shot back. She could feel the blush forming on her face. “I hold no title as it stands. I’m just a liaison. Nothing more.”

 

“ _Princess_ ” Rueben and Sparks asked in unison. Rueben’s face turned to one of disgust. The guard standing next to Vivian glanced around before motioning to the bird sitting on some piping above their heads.

 

“Whose Crow is that?”

 

The trio in black glanced at one another before one hurried back to a door off in the shadows. A few minutes later they returned.

 

“No one here, ma’am.”

 

“Must be the prince’s, then” Vivian replied quietly. She raised her arm up so it was level with her shoulder. The Crow spread its wings and flew down to the group, landing on her arm. Carefully, it walked sideways up her arm to perch on her shoulder. Those lifeless, beady eyes wouldn’t keep off the pair of hunters before it. The sight of the thing made Rueben take a step back. Even when the Crow moved again, this time landing on the guard’s shoulder, he still moved as if to avoid being near the machine. This allowed Vivian to quickly send bounty information to the other teams of Guardians still standing around. The one guard holding the Crow stepped away while the other, still holding the tablet, stood behind the smaller titan. She collected up a small crate and slid the damaged tablet in before sealing it up.

 

“Will we be needed” Bartok asked the lone guard. “My drink’s getting warm in there. Wouldn’t be surprised if someone finished it off for me while I was gone.”

 

“I can take your statements now” the guard replied. She stepped away with Bartok and the other Crows. Off to the shadows. Away from prying ears. But they all seemed to keep their eye on the lone Awoken and the Guardians.

 

“You really are a little traitor, ain’t ya” Rueben muttered to Vivian. “How do you sleep at night?”

 

“Soundly in my bed. Far better than anything I had back in the City, mind you” she replied. Another group of Guardians were trickling in. For the time being, she ignored the pair of hunters and elected to strike up small conversation with the new team.

 

A small breeze, and suddenly, the Crow was back. It tipped its head one way, then another, its eyes back to staring at the Guardians.

 

“You lot, follow me” the guard called out. When the new team looked at one another than to their fellows, she pointed to the group still standing around.

 

“This is stupid. I just wanted some damn bounties” one of the Guardians whined. But they complied. Hell, they even got Rueben and Spark to follow. Now that they were gone, Vivian felt immeasurably better. Especially with the Crow sitting above now watching the other immortals milling about.

 

She could see why Uldren hated them so much. And that must’ve given him more of a reason, more of an argument, to keep them out of the Reef.

 

“So what happened” one of the Guardians, a warlock with a long pink robe, asked the Awoken.

 

“Someone knocked my tablet out of my hand. Things got a little heated from there” she replied with a small smile. “Old team, split on bad terms.”

 

“I heard they’re a pain in the ass” the group’s hunter added in. “Known as utter dicks. You were on their team?”

 

“For a bit. ‘til I found out I use a hammer and not a gun when my Light’s strong.” She laughed, awkwardly. But the group all seemed genuinely entertained. Her eyes turned to the Crow above. _Here,_ she wanted to say to him. _Not all of us are bad._

 

The group of Guardians left without much other cause. Slowly teams were starting to trickle in. Now Vivian could see why they gave her a tablet and not just the station: it wasn’t fun switching from groups of monitors and back to the teams. Lots of running around. Lots of near-trips on the metal grating. It must’ve looked ridiculous, up where the Crow sat.

 

When everything seemed to settle down, Bartok returned. He carried a tray of food and a container of some kind of liquid. He offered it to her once the last group of Guardians departed. She sat down on a crate next to him.

 

“Thanks” the titan said between bites. Sure, it wasn’t City food. But after not eating for a few days it damn well seemed to compete.

 

“Don’t sweat it. I would’ve shot those stupid Guardians if I were you” he replied. “And uh, sorry bout the whole, uh, title thing. Word’s been going around that you and the prince were married.”

 

“Oh.” She hid her smile thanks to another mouthful of food. She downed some of the contents of the bottle sitting next to her. “Not quite.”

 

“So you two were definitely a thing then? Oh, Jolyon’s gonna be jealous.”

 

“Why would he be? I’m a Guardian. Uldren hates Guardians.” She hid her face behind her bottle. But her own words had done their damage. The easy feeling in her chest had condensed, solidified, and sunk into her gut. The sensation of being hungry lessened compared to the sinking feelings washing over her.

 

“Nah, I think you’re an exception.” Bartok pointed to the Crow over their heads. The one that had been watching, likely listening this whole time. “No one else gets tailed like you do. Damn thing’s been here since Jolyon left to go on his run.”

 

Vivian glanced up at the machine. She couldn’t look it in the eyes. Her own eyes were already aching, her throat struggling to keep from constricting. Before the tears could spill the titan closed her eyes and dipped her head. Her mind drifted.

 

_The place was a seedy little bar. Not the kind of place she’d normally find herself in. But Uldren had dragged her along. It was a date. An official one. Not one just spending the night in listening to music, drinking, dancing, and passing out on the couch where Mara would find them._

 

 _Certainly a place she overdressed for. Even in a simple silver dress, her Token Link, and only some of the wearable_ _baubles she’d collected over the last few centuries._

 

_“Don’t mind the looks. It’s a quiet place” he reassured her. Vivian put her trust in him. Nonetheless she still took note of the entrances and exits._

 

 _They got a booth in the corner. The barkeep and bouncer both recognized him, greeted him. And he in kind._ _First thing she noticed was the music playing. It was certainly old. Was it from Earth? How old was it? Whatever it was, it was soothing._

 

 _“_ _The usual” the barkeep asked when she approached._ _Her smile grew when she gave Vivian a good look over. “_ _Anything for you?”_

 

_“The same” Vivian replied. She cracked a small smile and glanced to her fri- no, date. Get that right, Vivi._

 

_“Comin’ right up.”_

 

_Once they were alone again she reached out and took hold of Uldren’s hand. He sat with his back to the wall, able to see the entire space where he sat. It was unnerving unable to do the same. Her discomfort must’ve been visible on her face. He stood up and pat the cushion of the booth on his side. Without a word she got up and crammed herself in the corner. He sat down next to her and pulled her back from the corner._

 

_“You’ll be fine” he whispered into her ear. “Would I ever take you somewhere unsafe?”_

 

 _“Knowing you? Yes.” Vivian tipped her head into his shoulder. Besides the university, the woods, and home she never traveled much anymore. Living in a place with so many other Awoken just made her so nervous._ _That fear of being jumped anywhere she went never left._

 

 _“That was a mistake, Vivi._ _One mistake. I promised you I’d never make it again.”_

 

_“You made that promise while I stitched you up” she muttered. Her eyes narrowed at him, but her look only made the man laugh._

 

_A small group of men walked in. They glanced around the bar when one caught sight of the pair. He threw his hands in the air as the others turned their way._

 

_“Uldren, my man” the one with their arms in the air called out. The men invited themselves to a table next to the pair while one dared sit in the booth with them. Vivian stiffened up, tried to push herself to the corner. Uldren kept a painful grip on her shoulder which forced her to remain._

 

_“Kadir, my friend” Uldren replied with a smile. His attention turned to the squirming woman in his arm.“Hey hey, you’re okay. They’re friends.”_

 

 _“Who’s this” Kadir asked. He had grabbed a container of bar snacks from the neighboring booth and was helping himself to them as he sat in their booth. When he spoke, it was with a near-full mouth. “You don’t_ _usually_ _go for women, my man.”_

 

_“This is Vivian. I told you about her.”_

 

 _She stopped squirming. Just long enough to look into Uldren’s eyes._ _Of course their relationship was open, either partner could have as many other partners as they pleased. But to know she was the only woman…._

 

_“The med student, yea? Sweet. I hate doctors normally. See, I got this lump on my sack and-”_

 

_“Kadir” Uldren’s tone changed. He frowned heavily and pulled Vivian close to his chest. “I won’t hesitate the relieve you of the issue myself if you keep it up.”_

 

_“All right, all right. Sorry. Protective, aren’t we?” The shorter man leaned back and put his hands up behind his head. “So, Vivian, right? You got a voice?”_

 

_“I’m not on shift” she replied quietly. Swallowing back some of her anxiety she extended a hand over the table. “Vivian Mou.”_

 

_“Mou? Whole-family-murdered-in-their-home Mou?” Kadir’s eyes went wide. He looked to his other friends and they too were beginning to stare. The rest of the bar had gone relatively quiet. Only thing keeping the place from silence was sounds from the kitchen behind the bar and the music playing over speakers above their heads._

 

 _This was why she never went anywhere. The looks, the silence. Vivian wanted to cry. She retracted her arm and took a shaky breath. Her look when she_ _turned_ _to Uldren was that of a startled animal. He pulled her ever closer,_ _and glared daggers at his friends._

 

_“Hey, hey, sorry man” Kadir said quietly. He moved out of their booth, hands both raised chest-height. “I’ll let you two go on with your date. Sorry. Sorry.”_

 

_“It’s okay.” Uldren turned his attention to the smaller Awoken shaking in his grip. He let her bury her head in his shoulder and quietly cry. Their night, and his mood, were ruined. He’d have to repay his friends in due time._

 

_“Do you want to just go home” he asked her quietly. She shook her head but pressed it further into his collar bone._

 

_“We don’t go out often” she answered. Her reply came muffled from his shoulder. “I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay...”_

 

“Spacer. Outpost to Mou, come in.”

 

When Vivian came to, a group of people had surrounded her. Bartok, some Crows, guards, a couple teams of Guardians. She suddenly felt uncomfortable. Especially with the hands holding her shoulders.

 

“Hey, you’re back. They weren’t kidding with the name, holy shit-”

 

“Don’t touch me” Vivian snarled. She shook the hands free and jumped to her feet. A little too fast. Her head felt light and she nearly fell over. Those same hands reached out and grabbed her arms.

 

“Everyone, step back” Bartok bellowed. The Crow still sitting over their head let out a single _caw._ When the crowd didn’t disperse fast enough it began to swoop down after them. Bartok included.

 

Once they had stepped far enough back, the Crow settled on Vivian’s shoulder. Its head rubbed against her jaw.

 

“I’m sorry.” Vivian’s head dipped. She worked out the fireteams and sent them off with their respective bounties before sitting back down on a couple of crates, head in her hands. All the while the machine on her shoulder pressed its head in a small gap between her face and hand.

 

“Vi” Bartok sat down next to her. His arm hovered over touching her shoulder, but lowered when the machine moved its head to stare at him. “It’s been a bad day. No need to say sorry.”

 

“Sor-”

 

“No more sorrys, woman” Uldren’s voice chimed in from the Crow. It pecked the side of her head. “Get out of that habit. _Now.”_

 

She merely nodded. Pulling her hands away, she held the bird-machine close to her chest and gave it a couple kisses on top of its head. As her fingers began to run over its feathers she could feel the tightness in her chest begin to ease.

 

Behind them, a Galliot flew in. Its reverse thrusters squealed and echoed off the metal and rock walls surrounding the Outpost. Bartok groaned out loud, got to his feet, and hurried over to help out. Vivian paid them no mind. She couldn’t think of more than one thing right now. Her whole body ached.

 

So when a hand took hold of her shoulder, she nearly lashed out. Until she realized it was Uldren, his hand. He took the Crow from her arms, tucked it under his own, and pulled her to her feet. She resisted the urge to wrap her arms around him, to bury her face in his shoulder. _People are watching_ she reminded herself. Without a shred of concern for the crowd around them he led her away, back to the hull of the Outpost.

 

“What happened to Kadir” she finally asked him when they were away from the crowd. His calm demeanor didn’t change.

 

“He stayed behind. Didn’t want to leave. I’m surprised you remember- oh, right.” He chuckled, and so did she. “Spacer. We should keep that name.”

 

“No. I hate it.” She pouted and crossed her arms. Uldren rolled his eyes and shook his head. His free hand found its way to her back. The sudden appearance of Vivian’s Ghost nearly caused him to stab the damn thing. He had never been so willingly close to the little machines. Terribly annoying little gnats. And this Ghost didn’t seem to like him either. All the better.

 

Whatever the ghost was going to say, it didn’t. Its little optic glanced down at his arm and back up to him. The top part of its shell angled over its optical. As if the damn thing was _glaring_ at him. Uldren would give it a reason to glare. His hand moved lower, to the curve of Vivian’s ass, and squeezed as hard as he could. Vivian let out a yipe and actually _jumped_ at the feeling. He began to laugh at her reaction. And waited to get a punch to the gut.

 

But a violent retort never came. Instead the titan merely stood there, shaking, every bit of exposed skin a flush purple. Her expression, one of fading shock, brought another rise of laughter out.

 

“’s not funny” Vivian whined. She buried her head in her hands and let out a low groan. “Stop laughing at me!”

 

Eventually his laughter did die down. Tears blurred his vision. His stomach hurt from just how _entertaining_ that was. When he took a step closer, arm extended, his smile died when she took a step away.

 

“You’re afraid of a little grab? You used to enjoy them.”

 

A blush returned to her cheeks. Vivian broke eye contact with him when she turned her head away. Her frown softened and, eventually, she accepted the embrace.

 

“That hurt more than I remember” she muttered into his chest. Uldren snorted and shook his head. All the while the little Ghost floated there, staring at the pair. He relished in how angry the little thing looked. His hand moved down to where he had just grabbed her and began to rub the spot. The shorter woman in his arms began to stiffen.

 

“Relax.” He waited, hand slowing until it simply sat on the spot. Could feel her start to relax. Yet her breathing was beginning to grow heavier. Uldren leaned back a little to get a better look at her face. She seemed to take the hint and lifted her head to look up at him. Her blush was receding, but there was a certain, familiar darkness to those electric eyes.

 

Before either of them could take the plunge, Uldren stepped back, grabbed her wrist with his unoccupied hand, and led Vivian back to her room. When they arrived he set the Crow down on her desk and sat her down on her bed.

 

“You’re not like the Vivian of old” he stated rather matter-of-factually. The prince sat himself down in the chair at her desk and spun it around so he could face her. “She would’ve shot those Guardians for disrespecting her.”

 

“They’re my old team” Vivian replied. She couldn’t look at him, not even at her own hands. “Leagues above my skill. If I tried to they would’ve killed me and Ripple.”

 

“Ripple, being…?”

 

“My Ghost.”

 

“On top of a Paladin knocking you out in one fell swoop? Sjur would’ve chewed your ass for it.”

 

“She’d never let me live it down. I know. I know.” She shut her eyes, leaned forward, and covered her face with her hands. “I’m trying. Really. Try living in constant whiplash for once?”

 

“Excuse me?” It was his time to lean forward. “You’re the one who wanted to be here. You wanted out of that stupid City.”

 

“I know” she screamed. When her hands moved to her knees, her pale blue skin flared with what seemed like ripples of fire. Tears wet her cheeks. “I feel lost! Lost without a single fucking person to help me!”

 

“Stop yelling.” Uldren took a breath at the sudden burst of Light the smaller woman emitted. Without it, without the Ghost, he could almost picture the same soft-spoken woman who’d been ripped out of his life centuries before. He reached out, placed his hand on top of hers. Even through the undersuit her hand felt warm. “Answer me this. Did anyone train you in the Tower?”

 

“If you call ‘throw the newbie into the middle of patrols in the middle of nowhere’ training.” Her eyes focused on his hand. Without much thought she turned her hand over and wrapped her fingers around his own. She cracked a small smile when he didn’t pull away.

 

Uldren took a deep breath and let it slowly out of his nose. They might as well start from the beginning. The basics.

 

“I’ll see what everyone can do to help.”

 

“They laughed at me” she replied, quieter. “My first team. They wanted to shoot me when they found me in my old armor. But they laughed when I...see, Hunters they have this power to summon a gun, right?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve seen some use it.”

 

“I thought I’d have that, you know? Just like them. But when I feel the Light surge, and I brought it forward, it...it wasn’t that. And they laughed at me.” Vivian bit her lip as tears welled in her eyes. “I hate this, Uldren. I didn’t want to be this.”

 

“I know.” He broke his gaze from her face to steal a pointed glare at the Ghost floating above the pair of them. It inched closer to her but stopped just out of Uldren’s reach.

 

“You’re meant to do great things” Ripple replied. “It’s just that...no one’s given you much of a chance yet.”

 

“We are” Uldren replied. He raised his head a little before turning back to Vivian. “I’ll gather the Paladins and see if Jolyon will give us a hand.”

 

“For what?” She broke her stare from their hands to look up at him once more. Tears continued to streak down her cheeks. The small darkness was long gone in those eyes. He reached out with his empty hand and wiped her tears away.

 

“You’re going to make all those other Guardians look bad out there.”

 


	12. Leave no Witnesses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivian receives armor befitting her title. And her short stature. All for an op into formerly friendly territory. The Reef's Guardian is at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that there is a situation of attempted kidnapping and exploitation near the end of this chapter. It will take place shortly after the memory. If you do not wish to read it, simply stop reading at the end of the memory and go to the next chapter.

The one thing the titan couldn’t stand about herself, more than anything, were the markings on her face. She spent an hour in the morning simply staring at herself in the mirror, trying to see _Vivian Mou_ hidden underneath her face. The marking that covered her brow and forehead seemed to stretch back past her hairline. Moving her hair revealed the same black marking went back most of her head and suddenly cut off. It didn’t alter the appearance of her ears and seemed to work around them.

 

“Is there a way I can remove my markings” she asked a paladin one morning during training.

 

“Why?”

 

Vivian swallowed and dodged the punch swung at her head. She couldn’t dodge the sweep that knocked her to the ground. Her teeth clacked together in her skull. A metallic taste filled her mouth and when she spat there was blood.

 

“Stay focused.”

 

“I can’t stand looking at myself. I feel like I want to run away from my own face.” Accepting the offered hand, the titan jumped back to her feet. She took a deep breath and let it out of her nose. A scab inside of her nose felt like it shifted, and blood slowly dripped out unto her shirt. “I want it permanent.”

 

“Can’t your Ghost fix it?” The paladin grabbed the front of the titan’s tank and pulled her close. Vivian used the moment to land two solid hits into her opponent’s face. Not hard enough to break bone.

 

Should’ve been that hard. The blows didn’t phase her opponent. She returned the gesture, landing two blows unto the titan’s already injured nose. Vivian could feel the bone in her face shatter, blood begin to pool in her sinuses. Blowing her nose, blood spurt out and stained her shirt and the hand of her fellow combatant.

 

So she blew in, collected blood in her mouth, and spat it out at her opponent. It blinded the taller woman, who loosened her grip on Vivian’s shirt. Using the moment, Vivian landed blow after blow into the paladin’s gut. She didn’t relent until the taller woman collapsed. They both fell unto the thinly-matted metal floor, gasping for air.

 

Ripple appeared in a shimmer of Light. They began to heal their Guardian’s face.

 

“I asked ‘em” Vivian finally said out loud. “Rip, tell her what you told me.”

 

“It wouldn’t work” Ripple stated rather plainly. Their shell shifted as more Light focused around their core, and unto the smaller woman’s face. “I asked other Ghosts, too. Our healing reverts our Guardian to a state a few days prior. Some Guardians are unlucky enough to starve to death and revive still starving. Most of ‘em end up killing their Ghosts and then themselves.”

 

“Damn.” The paladin sat up and hissed. Her hand wrapped around her torso. “Quick advice: stop trying to go easy. I know you don’t wanna kill us but...come on. Your hits barely tickle until you actually _mean it._ ”

 

Ripple ceased healing their partner. They watched Vivian sit up, tenderly touch her nose, and sigh when it didn’t hurt. A message alert caused them to perk up a little and float closer.

 

“Vivian, word is that Petra is coming home.”

 

“Really?!” Her face warmed up. Instantly she was on her feet, grabbing her Ghost out of the air with her hands. “Oh wonderful! Absolutely wonderful! When, when?”

 

“A few days from now. But the Queen requests your presence at once.”

 

“Go get changed. Can’t show up looking like...that.” The paladin too got to her feet. She still held her stomach with her arm.

 

“Hey. Hold on.” Vivian turned around and approached the taller woman. “Let me help you to medical. I did this to you, after all.”

 

“I can handle some sore ribs. Go.” She brushed off the offered help with a small smile. “Before you piss off the Queen.”

 

“But that’s my favorite pastime” the titan whined back. The pair shared a short laugh before Vivian hurried out of the training hall. She felt bad, leaving so suddenly. Wanted to go back, help clean up the mess she caused. When she returned to her room she stripped and took a quick shower. Her only undersuit was stained with blood. It would take too long to clean it. So she searched her old clothes and finally found a tunic and pants she used to love wearing in the Distributary.

 

Aside around the upper arms they still fit, too. The blue-pastel fabric of the tunic was incredibly soft, ever light. The collar was stiff but wide, exposing her collarbones. It even still smelled faintly of the incense Vivian loved to burn. But now wasn’t the time to drift off. She pulled her boots on and hurried to the throne room.

 

Jolyon stood at the door waiting for her. He glanced her over three times before reaching out to touch the fabric of her tunic.

 

“Where’s your undersuit” he asked, withdrawing his hand.

 

“Broke my face twice this morning.” She moved a piece of hair back out of her face. It was still damp. “Ripple’s getting better at healing me. I guess being a punching bag does that, huh?”

 

The door opened. They straightened up but relaxed when they realized it was Uldren who stepped through. Jolyon reached out and grasped Uldren’s shoulder for a few moments before letting go. The prince glanced Vivian over.

 

“Where did you find those? Where’s your undersuit?”

 

“I just answered that” Vivian muttered. She frowned a little before folding her arms in front of her chest. “Cleanest clothes I got at the moment.”

 

“It is a cute shirt” Jolyon commented quietly. “Sad that style died when, well...”

 

“Regardless.” Uldren shifted his weight from one foot to another. “She wanted to talk to you in private. Head in.”

 

“O-okay.” For a moment the Guardian was taken aback. She hadn’t had a private moment with the Queen since before her first death, most likely. As she stepped through the door, her mind raced to figure out what to talk about.

 

What about having a coming home party for Petra? Maybe now that she’s coming home Vivian could go explore a little. Hopefully it wouldn’t be about the incident with Rueben and Sparks a few days prior.

 

“There you are.” Mara didn’t look up from her fingers when she spoke. Her eyes followed her own hand as she raised them up in the air. There wasn’t another soul in the room aside from the two women. Not even guards. When she did look forward, she gave the smaller woman a one over. “Weren’t you sparring earlier?”

 

“Yes. I changed into something not covered in my own blood.” Vivian sniffed a little and wiggled her nose. The natural chill one got in space was creeping in her bones, especially in her shoulders. Now she could see why the style wasn’t so popular anymore. “What did you wish to speak to me about?”

 

“Bow.”

 

Vivian tensed up. She stared into Mara’s eyes, struggling to hold back a laugh. That look in her old friend’s eyes was clear: not a lack of that subtle smile or gleam. Oh, she was serious. But there was no one around. Why bother?

 

_All games._

 

Regardless, the titan swallowed her pride. She stepped up unto the dais and bent down unto a knee before Mara. When she held her hand out, Vivian gently pressed her lips to her fingers, eyes staring into Mara’s. She didn’t react when the woman touched her jaw, ran her long fingers through her red hair. Nor did she react when those very fingers grabbed her hair and pulled her head to the side.

 

They were searching for something in the other’s eyes. Submission? Compliance? Surrender? Fear? Neither of them would bend. It wasn’t in them to bend to the other.

 

“I thought you hated the whole ‘queen’ title, Mara” Vivian hissed when the grip to her hair grew tighter. “Seems someone’s enjoying it a little much.”

 

No reaction. The titan shut her eyes, hands clenching at her sides. At once the hand released her head and smoothed her hair out.

 

“Your arrival has upset both the Techeuns and Paladins. They want you removed from the Reef entirely.” Mara leaned back in her throne. She looked so small, sitting in half the seat. Vivian couldn’t help but picture Sjur taking up the whole thing with Mara sitting in her lap. “They speak ill of your combat abilities.”

 

“Let them. I don’t care.” Vivian shrugged. She shifted her weight and flopped down on the floor. “I’m getting better. No one trained me proper back at the Tower.”

 

“Yet you don’t remember any of the training you underwent with Sjur? She spent decades working with you.”

 

“Wish I could. Most of the things I remember is her knocking me to the ground and scolding me.” She smiled when Mara shook her head. She could see the woman’s faint smile behind her hand. “I’m sorry about Sjur, Mara. If I was alive I would’ve been there with her.”

 

“Of course you would’ve.” The air around them turned. It seemed to grow colder. That smile was gone. “The Paladins call you ‘Spacer.’”

 

“Yeah...the memories come back at bad times. I need to start meditating again.” Oh, if she started using that moniker for Vivian, too…. No title nor Uldren himself would stop her from smacking Mara upside the head.

 

“Could you control them while on a mission?”

 

Oh. Oh, now that piqued Vivian’s interest. She tipped her head slightly and scooted ever closer. As casually as she could she rested her head against Mara’s leg.

 

“Go on.”

 

“Can you control your memories while on a mission” Mara asked again.

 

“Yeah. Yeah.” She could when she was alone. But with others it was easy for her mind to wander. The answer seemed to satisfy the Queen.

 

“Do you know why I have no guards at the present?”

 

“Because you wanted to catch up on the good old times?” Vivian flashed a toothy grin the promptly dropped it. “No.”

 

“Two days before you got here, my subjects rebelled.” Mara narrowed her eyes down at the titan. “Our captives from the Reef War. Subjects under the former House of Wolves.”

 

“Eliksni? From the war?” There wasn’t much in the memory bank from that period of time. Not even the events leading up to her own untimely demise. But wait, back up…. Now the titan was rising to her feet. “What do you mean, _your subjects_? Wasn’t their House wiped from the system?”

 

“Decimate one’s numbers and their lower rank-and-file will bow to you, Vivian” Mara replied in an even tone.

 

“Until they don’t, clearly” Vivian replied. “Want me to hunt ‘em down? Did some of ‘em kill some guards on their way out? I’ll do it the old fashioned way. Bring their heads so you can display them around the throne room.” _Like Sjur used to do_ she wanted to say.

 

“You’re getting ahead of yourself.” It was Mara’s turn to stand up. She walked by Vivian, with the shorter woman turning to follow close behind. “Your combat abilities leave much to be desired. Despite all the pleadings and suggestions by everyone in my council, and against my better judgment, you are to help track down some of the lower rank-and-file and eliminate them.”

 

“Would I have the Crows for intel?” The system was pretty big. For all she knew the Eliksni could be holing up on Mercury. “If we find their nest can we nuke them this time?”

 

“I doubt they will be in such a location. You’re a surgeon, Vivian. Think like a scalpel, not a hammer.”

 

“Hey. I can spawn flaming hammers in my hands now, Mara. Wouldn’t want the cancer to return a third time, either.” As the pair stepped out of the throne room, Uldren and Jolyon followed close behind. Either the pair didn’t know where they were going or were simply playing dumb. If Vivian would bet Glimmer, it would be for the latter.

 

“Regardless, a Guardian needs proper armor. Because of your stature a set had to be constructed special just for you.” When Mara turned to look down at Vivian, she had a small smile on her face. She reached out and pat the top of Vivian’s head before continuing down to a door that opened at their arrival. The boys both snickered, bumped each other with their elbows. She wanted to smack the smiles off their stupid faces.

 

Vivian was the first to walk in. As she did, the lights above flickered on, casting light upon a set of armor suspended in a gravity field. The armor was dark in color and resembled her old Crow armor, but with more...what was it? It almost seemed like it was much heavier. Heavier than Bartok’s. When she reached out and touched the feather collar, it felt like the same feathers from her old kit. She turned and noticed it was only Mara standing in the room with her.

 

“The boys figured you would like some privacy for changing” she merely commented on approach. Vivian stripped down passed her undergarments, forgoing them in place of the space-grade undersuit. It took two to put on, and would certainly require the same cooperation for removal. Piece by piece they started from the sabatons and worked their way up.

 

The titan could only imagine Mara helping Sjur with her old armor. Could only wonder the fear she felt every time the woman left for battle or patrols. That fear wasn’t evident in Mara’s features, nor her movements. The woman knew what she was doing, and for that Vivian was grateful.

 

Ripple appeared in a shimmer of Light and began to scan the armor. They made small chirps here and there but made sure to stay out of the way. Especially after they got slapped away one time by the queen.

 

“I’m going to come back” Vivian said quietly. Mara stopped in place with a pauldron in her hands. For a moment Vivian could see the pain in the woman’s eyes. Her stomach dropped and she swallowed hard. “Sjur always said that. But she was confident in herself.”

 

“Too confident sometimes.” Mara continued on after a few blinks. Vivian could swear she saw tears in the corners of the woman’s face but feared that investigation would lead to being scolded like a child. “Do you remember how often we had to patch her up?”

 

“Not yet.” Surely she would. Maybe when she returned home and could meditate she could pull memories from the deep. Out here it was like reaching into a bone-chilling sea. Back in the Tower it was like trying to punch through ice stronger than rock. “Was it often?”

 

“Often enough.” One last glance over. Mara handed Vivian her helm and took a step back. “How does it feel to have armor that isn’t for a larger frame?”

 

Vivian pulled her helm on and waited for a few seconds. Ripple disappeared as the suit ran its self-diagnosis on her HUD and blinked away. In the corner was a counter for ammo, most likely. Wait, did this stuff have shields?

 

“Utterly amazing.” She took a step towards Mara. Sure, she was still short, but now she could almost look the woman in the eyes without looking up. Almost. “How do I look?”

 

No answer. Instead the queen turned around and stepped into the shadows. Vivian’s helm adjusted, made the floor around her too bright, but she could see her friend in the darkness. But when the door opened the flash of light hurt her eyes.

 

 _I’ll get the hang of it! Promise_ Ripple echoed in the back of her mind. They were like a kid in a candy store.

 

“Whoa” she could hear Jolyon as he and Uldren approached. As they did the brightness seemed to tone down. “Looks like something I’d see when I was a kid in those big parades you guys threw.”

 

“It’s based on an older design” Uldren replied. He gave her a one-over before leaning on the titan’s shoulder. “You’re welcome, Vivian.”

 

“Thank you” she replied. The temptation to hug the man was great but she feared hurting him in this suit.

 

More lights in the room lit up, revealing racks upon racks of weapons. Every gun the Guardian could spot bore Mara’s insignia and was adorned in the purple shades the woman always seemed to prefer.

 

“Take only what you can carry” Mara called out from the doorway. Without another word, the woman vanished, the door closed. Not so much as a goodbye, but what could Vivian expect? It was probably bringing back old feelings, painful memories. Better for Mara to retreat somewhere and recollect.

 

Vivian stepped over to the racks. She found one full of scout rifles and began to check their scopes. To her, it was preferable to have one with a longer scope to work like a miniature sniper rifle. And upon finding one, she slung it to her back.

 

“Oh I like ‘er” she could hear Jolyon comment behind her back. “Not one for a full sniper, Vivi?”

 

“Not really. They’re too big. I'm too short.” Now she wanted a smaller weapon. Something that could pack a punch. A shotgun would be too much, and would lack effective range. Instead she moved over to the hand cannons and found one with iron sights. Her fingers moved the cylinder, feeling it spin. Quick enough. That one, she slipped into a holster on her right thigh.

 

Her head turned when something shimmered in the corner of her visor. When she looked down, Uldren held out a couple of thin knives to her. She accepted them, sliding them in a small holster on her left thigh. Knives were normally more for Hunters, but out here classes didn’t seem to apply. The smirk that found its way unto the prince’s features was enough to lift that pit in her gut.

 

“A Crow through and through” Uldren commented. He pat Vivian on the shoulder and adjusted the feathers there. “You’re going into one of their hideouts. It used to be Crow until these traitors broke in. Clear it out and reclaim it.”

 

“Yessir.” Vivian nodded once before taking a breath. Her helmet tilted up.

 

“We’re sending intel to your Ghost” Jolyon added in. “We sent a couple Crows to scout out and they nearly got blasted. Whatever these Eliksni got their hands on is heavy. Be careful.”

 

“I always am when I’m alone. Leave no witnesses.” At her words Uldren smiled and nodded.

 

“Leave no witnesses” he replied.

 

* * *

 

A Galliot flew very differently than a hauler. It was much faster, nimble, agile. Running through the narrow channels still gave Vivian concern but not as much as that big hulking mess of a ship she’d found on Earth.

 

Her comms were silent, and for a reason. Who knew if these little bugs could tap into their channels. If they had the ability to. Was this the beginnings of a new Reef War? Maybe that was why Mara wanted all these Guardians here: to keep that from happening.

 

The nest in question was far from the central hub of the Reef. There were no channels here, no gravity adjusters or tethers keeping the rocks from colliding. The perfect place for any Crow, or rebelling Eliksni, to hunker down for a while.

 

Vivian found a small ship graveyard and parked her ship inside of a larger, shredded hull. Leaving a transmat beacon would let her retreat in a snap if anything went downhill. With a deep breath, she pushed off the larger hull and drifted towards the location of the hideout.

 

Closer she got, the more a gravity field pulled her in. Someone was home and had the lights on. It wasn’t graceful when the titan collided with the asteroid. She would’ve bounced off if it weren’t for her trusty knife. Lucky that she had the sense to grab it before she left. Slowly, carefully, the titan made her way to the hangar.

 

No one was around. Not a single Eliksni. Rocks and space debris cluttered the floor near the open maw. Something told her it was going to turn the moment she passed through the field that kept atmosphere in.

 

 _Fallen signatures detected right inside_ Ripple chimed in inside her mind. _In the corners on your left and right. Halfway up in the gangway._

 

There was the snag. She wondered if there was anything she could do for camo. Nothing on her armor, nor in her kit. Well damn. Either she could go in guns blazing or simply try to sneak inside. Vivian pulled herself down the side of the hangar before slipping inside. Once within the field, gravity hit her in full and forced her feet to touch the ground. Her eyes went to the corners and caught a Vandal on each side.

 

Asleep. Both of em. Better than expected. With silence she never thought possible of herself she slipped up one side of the gangway and slit the alien’s throat before crossing to the other side and doing the same there. There was no point in hiding the bodies as their blood had already begun to stain the walls, grate, and floor beneath. Time was on her side.

 

She pulled up a small schematic of the base in the corner of her HUD. Ripple was able to make a small point appear on her map. At least she’d know where she was the whole time. Even made note of the vehicles stored in the hangar. Stolen Reef tech with the queen’s insignias crudely scratched off the paint.

 

Luckily the place wasn’t too big. But then, the place wasn’t too big. If she started firing off the whole hideout would be alerted. Every room she checked, the inhabitants were asleep. Easy to dispatch. Not even the babes, if any were present, were spared. There was some deep, seething hatred Vivian had for the Eliksni since she rezzed. Even before then, most likely. She’d died during the Reef Wars when her people were clawing for space after leaving the Distibutary. Whatever happened leading up to her first death had left an imprint that transcended death.

 

The Eliksni were scum that were to be cleansed from the system. Likely, it was Mara’s idea to spare the aliens and keep them as servants, slaves. A fate Vivian would’ve objected to.

 

So now, she was doing her job. Doing what the _Vivian of old_ would’ve done. Room by room, a handful at a time.

 

 _We’re doing this to protect the Awoken people, right?_ Ripple’s question bounced around in her mind. Of course, they were doing it for her people. These aliens were the ones who were willing to kill her people. It would only be just to return the favor.

 

Her streak ended when she stepped into one of the larger rooms. Whatever she walked in to certainly started the Captain and other aliens gathered around. They began to scream, clamber for weapons and pikes. She reached out her hand and focused. _You will not._

 

The weapons scattered, flew up in the air. One staff impaled its owner and dropped them to the ground.

 

Rounds whizzed by her head and bounced off her armor. She pulled out her hand cannon and began to return fire. Shooting at bare torsos, reaching hands, angry faces. The titan whirled around the door frame and reloaded before whirling back around and continuing her fire. When the bullets bouncing off her armor stopped, she stopped firing. But to make sure there would be no survivors,  _no witnesses,_ she swapped back to her knife, and severed their heads. She piled the bodies on one side of the room and the severed appendages out in front of the door.

 

A few more rooms to go. Good. She was getting tired.

 

Vivian met the rest of the Eliksni in the halls, though. But it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle. Their arms were light. Whatever had startled the Crows was either long gone, or its handlers were dead in the rooms previous.

 

The last room she checked was the communications room. There was some kind of alien tech attached to the long-range radio that she disconnected with Ripple’s help. She opened her comms and switched to the channel she remembered for the Crows.

 

“Mouse to Papa Crow. Papa Crow, come in.”

 

“Papa Crow” Ripple asked as they continued scanning the tech before them. “You’re kidding me.”

 

“What? It’s an old nickname. He always hated it.” Vivian smirked behind her visor and shrugged. Her whole body ached and felt like it was beginning to slow.

 

“So what makes you think he’s going to answer-”

 

“Out of all the callsigns you could’ve used” Uldren chimed in on the other end of the line. There was laughter muffled in the background as he spoke. “Really? Really?”

 

“What? Does someone else use it? Nest is clear. But we might get some stragglers the next few days. Those big guns you mentioned are long gone.”

 

“Your Ghost sent live feed our way.” Jolyon’s laughter was still evident in his voice when he talked. “We’ll have the Corsairs keep an eye on the sector until things die down. If anything rolls around, we’ll know. Good job, by the way. Killed a bunch of sleeping rebels.”

 

“Leave no witnesses” Vivian replied. “I’m doing a one-over. I’ll report in one last time and wait for that detachment to arrive. You’re going to need someone willing to clean up out here.”

 

“Already on their way” Jolyon replied. “ETA is two hours. They won’t approach until you give us an all-clear.”

 

“Leave no witnesses” Uldren said before cutting the line. The silence was deafening. Their conversation was too short for her taste. But it had to be. The whole hideout wasn’t completely cleared.

 

The titan patrolled the whole hideout at least three times. She checked every vent, every odd wall, every gap looking for anything hidden. But there was nothing. Her and Ripple were the only two onboard. Instead of announcing that it was clear, Vivian made two chirping noises into the channel. She waited a minute, before repeating the chirping. Satisfied, she found a spot to sit in the hangar, sat down, and waited.

 

Sure enough, a hauler and trio of Galliots approached. The hauler was the one to park closest, its cargo of cleanup crews hurrying out in space suits to step through to the hangar.

 

“Hey. It’s uh...a little messy up there” Vivian warned. She stood up as the crew seemed to ignore her. Hurrying to get to work? Maybe. Unlikely. No matter. It was something small. Something she could shrug off. The titan returned to her ship hidden inside the shredded remains of the larger ship, kicked the engines on, and headed back to the Outpost.

 

When she arrived and transmatted out of her ship, Bartok was the first to greet her. He offered her a frosty, clear bottle of clear liquid. When Vivian sniffed it to make sure it wasn’t alcohol he laughed. It wasn’t, luckily. The contents of the bottle were gone in three big gulps.

 

“Damn girl! Take your time!” He laughed and took the empty bottle from her hands. His eyes gave her a half-lidded one over and settled on her visor. “Glad you’re on our side. What’d you do, commit a massacre?”

 

“Easier than that. Most of the place was asleep.” Vivian didn’t want to take her helmet off. Something about the man’s look made her uneasy. “Left no witnesses.”

 

“Not a big fan of Eliksni?” He stepped closer, much to her dismay, and pulled her close with an arm around her shoulders. They turned together, to a single creature standing off by the door to the deeper part of the Outpost. “You’re gonna love Variks, then. He’s here on the Queen’s good graces, so hands off.”

 

Vivian could feel the hairs on her neck bristle. More of _them_ , working with her people? What, would they expect her just to idly comply and simply work together? Something about the name set off a fire deep inside her gut. But that fire extinguished as Bartok led her away from the main hum of the Outpost....

 

* * *

 

 

_Her fists banged on the table. She checked the math, the computer, over and over again. Their resources were running thin, what with this conflict with the Eliksni. They were cutting off supply routes. Destroying cargo ships full of food and medicine. Wiping out their farm settlements and more._

 

_How could Vivian tell Mara and the Council that as they currently stand they had the supplies to birth only a hundred infants in the next solar year? That was nothing compared to the hundreds being massacred at these creatures’ hands each month._

 

_“Unacceptable” she cried out. She shoved the papers on her desk and watched them scatter in the air. They fell in a mess on the floor around her._

 

_As if summoned by her distress, Uldren let himself in. He saw the papers on the floor. And he saw the smaller woman in tears, head buried in her hands. Without a word he recollected the papers in no real order and set them up on the desk once more._

 

_“It’s that bad, huh” he asked quietly. A hand found her back. He began to rub gentle circles through her shirt. “Tell me.”_

 

 _“A hundred. That’s the max. Number’s bound to go down if this keeps up.” Vivian pulled her head from her hands. Turning to him she pulled him close and just...held him. Needed something that was solid and_ real _right now. Facing down her peoples’ ending was getting to her. “We should’ve never left.”_

 

_“Now, now.” His hand pat her back. The other began to play with her long braids, poke at the gemstone flowers that glimmered in the dim office light. “That’s no way to think. We’ll make it.”_

 

_“Uldren.” Vivian sat up in her chair, her eyes searching his. “I know you love Mara. And follow her to the ends of known time and space. I fear for our people. For those who want to have families. I can maybe tell ten now that they can begin the process but who knows? Next week they could be dead, and we’ll be left with more orphans.”_

 

 _Such a term was never used back in the Distributary._ Orphan. _Children without parents or any next-of-kin to care for them. Not even the Theodicy War left this many orphans._

 

_“What time is it” she asked. Her eyes returned to the papers all stacked without a care before her. Hands worked quick to reorganize them. But his hands pulled her back, to lean back into the chair. They found her shoulders, and began to message deep circles through her shirt and undersuit._

 

_“The meeting starts in an hour” he replied, quiet. Somehow his voice drew quieter. “Vi, are we on that list?”_

 

_“I-I...Uldren. I want to care for our child. Right now, with all that’s going on...you don’t have the time, I don’t have the time. I’m not letting Mara or some nanny do my job for me-”_

 

_“Shh...” one of the hands moved over her mouth and forced her mouth shut. “After this is all over, will we be on the list?” His hand moved away from her mouth but stayed cupping her jaw. His thumb brushed_ _away tears that were streaming down her face. Were they of anger, desperation, or sadness, despair? Maybe a combination of all four._

 

_“If there is an after for us” she replied, almost a whisper. Vivian couldn’t hide the sob that forced its way from her chest. Nor did she fight her chair being pulled away from her work._

 

_Uldren kneeled down before her, his hands clasping hers. He looked into her eyes and let out a quiet sigh._

 

_“There will be. Don’t think like that, okay? When this is all over, we need to be top of that list. I don’t care about the rules, or what the Council may say. And then you can hand off this stress to someone else and be my eyes while you...you know, you’re pregnant, and stuff.”_

 

_“And stuff?” Vivian smiled and shook her head. “The stress of watching you nearly dying can cause a miscarriage too, you loser.”_

 

_“Loser? Excuse me!” He let go of her hands to fold them over his chest as he pouted at her. The pout cracked into a smile when she giggled. “Okay, so maybe being my eyes isn’t a good idea. I don’t know...painting? You haven’t painted anything in forever. Get back into doing your flowers. Just not this stuff, Vi. Not this.”_

 

_“If you can see so far into the future, dear soothsayer, how will we win this conflict?”_

 

_“_ _See now that’s what I’m presenting to the Council today.” Uldren stole a quick kiss from Vivian’s lips as he stood up. She wished it could’ve lasted forever. Before she could argue he grabbed her papers and offered out his arm...._

 

* * *

 

 

“A hundred” Vivian muttered to herself. It took her a few moments to realize her helmet was off her head, and just _gone._ “Bartok?” A few more moments to realize she wasn’t in her room, or any room she recognized. It was small, like the room of a ship-

 

Fear hit her like one of Abra’s fists. She asked Ripple to find out where they were located as she began to look around the small room. Half her armor was removed and gone, as well. The back of her undersuit felt like it had been half-opened as the cold air began to sink in the base of her neck.

 

 _I sent out a signal to Uldren_ Ripple replied inside her mind. _I tried to get you back. You wouldn’t respond._

 

Oh no. No no no no no no. She reached for her weapons and found they were gone, too. When she moved to the door the lock had been altered. It was shut, and wouldn’t budge. Vivian wanted to scream out for anyone to help. But if she made noise it might bring unwanted attention.

 

 _They’re on the way_ Ripple confirmed to her. _Just stay calm._

 

If only it were that simple. She had no clue where she was, who was with her, who had done this. Before she could get her head back on right the door opened and Bartok made his way inside. He reeked of alcohol and who knows what. Ether? Whatever it was, combined with the alcohol it was an offense to her nose.

 

“You’re awake” he said. A twisted smile formed on his face as he drifted closer to her. “Strip.”

 

“Fuck you” Vivian snarled. She spat into his face. The gesture earned her a hard slap across the face and a hand to her throat. It began to squeeze.

 

“You fucking listen when I tell you t’do something. _Strip._ ”

 

“No!” She clawed at his hand, struggling for freedom. She couldn’t breathe. Her head was beginning to spin. He tried to pull more of her armor off with his other hand but the pair of them crashed into the corner between the bed and the wall. It gave him plenty of leverage to force off more of the armor pieces and further pull her undersuit with it.

 

The ship bumped off something. Bartok must’ve assumed it was an asteroid because he didn’t stop. But the hiss of air, scream of metal being forced apart certainly startled him. With a sudden anger in his eyes he began to punch Vivian in the head as hard as he could. He pulled chunks of her hair and figured it would be easier just to smash her face against the wall.

 

Vivian screamed. She screamed as loud as she could in the disappearing atmosphere of the ship. And she fought. Her hands went to cover her face, the sides of her head. And she tried to push away from the wall with every blow. But each time a fist or the metal wall made violent contact, it set her vision spinning. There was double, triple, quadruple of everything in her vision. Then everything seemed so _flat._

 

She could hear yelling. Someone was yelling at them. The pair were both violently removed from the room. In the swirling, blackening chaos Vivian could see two figures donned in black. They tried to pry Bartok away but he kept a grip on her throat. There was a flash. The grip around her throat loosened.

 

Lights overhead moved. For a moment there was darkness, then suddenly brightness. Her back pressed against something cold. A gloved hand touched her face with a gentleness she could spot anywhere. Vivian tried to say Uldren’s name but it came out in a choked gasp.

 

“We’re going home. Where’s your Ghost?”

 

As if on command there was a shimmer of Light. Vivian could feel the warm of Light on her face. As her eyes fluttered shut she found one of Uldren’s hands and squeezed it as hard as she could. It was all she could muster before the darkness overtook her vision, and her body went limp.


	13. It's not Love Until I Say it is

“Vivian. Wake up. Vivi.” Ripple hovered over her face, their optic staring down at her. Vivian let out a small whine and closed her eyes again. _Too comfortable…._

 

“I don’t care. Wake up.” Ripple dropped out of the air. Their shell landed and hit Vivian in the nose. She let out a loud whine, grabbed their shell and nearly chucked them across the room. The smell of copper filled her nose. Sensation of wetness built up inside her nostrils and dripped down the back of her throat. Her Ghost returned moments later and enveloped her face with the warmth of Light.

 

“Everyone aims for my nose” she groaned. If her nose had stopped bleeding she couldn’t tell by the scent. It still stuck with her. Likely would too until something stronger would overpower. Her hand went to her hair-

 

Where was her hair? She couldn’t feel any. When Vivian sat up and moved to get out of bed Ripple hovered in front of her face.

 

“Bartok did a number on you. I couldn’t regrow the hair he ripped out. I’m sorry.”

 

“What do you mean, _ripped out_?” The titan had enough of a hard time trying to remember the last few days. Last thing she could recall was returning to the Outpost. Everything after that was a blur.

 

She made her way to the washroom, to the mirror there. The lights overhead flicked on upon her arrival. When she turned to the mirror she could feel the blood drain from her face.

 

Her hair. Her beautiful red hair...it was gone. Shaved off. Her marking was still there, however. Now she could see how sudden it cut off near the back of her head. If Vivian didn’t feel like herself before…. She would’ve preferred walking around with chunks of her hair missing. Not looking like a smaller version of Zavala.

 

Ripple emitted a small _ding_. Their shell shifted.

 

“The Queen wishes to see you.”

 

“No. Not like this.” Vivian had to stop looking at herself. She hurried out of the washroom, hands touching her bare scalp. Could Guardians regrow their hair? How long would it take?

 

“She wants to see you” Ripple repeated. “I’m pretty sure she’s seen you in worse situations.”

 

“You’re not helping!” As much as she’d rather retreat to her blankets and sleep this nightmare off, there would be a greater nightmare in simply ignoring Mara. Thus she had to swallow her pride, get changed, and see what the woman wanted.

 

Vivian pulled out two crates from storage and sifted through them. She found dresses of various colors, thin shorts that likely were worn under said dresses, two smaller decorative boxes of jewelry, a couple pairs of shoes that weren’t just boots, and more makeup. No hats or anything. Seeing no point in further disorganizing her room she pulled on a pair of the shorts, one of the dresses, her badge, and a pair of the shoes. Her dirty clothes pile still sat in the first crate she’d opened and was using as a laundry hamper. Would she have to do her own clothes or would someone swing by and do it for her? Certainly something to ask Mara during their talk.

 

On approach to the throne room there were Guardians. Two teams of them donned in full armor. They too were waiting at the door for admission. When Vivian approached with Ripple over her shoulder the Guardians all looked at her.

 

“The Queen wished to speak to me” Vivian asked one of the guards at the door. They gave her a one-over and nodded.

 

“Her current meeting is holding everything else up. Apologies, princess” the guard replied. The titan grumbled and let out a short breath.

 

“I am _not_ a princess.” Great. Now the Guardians at her back were whispering. Their Ghosts were talking, too, chirping, shells spinning. One of them actually broke rank from their Guardian and approached Ripple.

 

“Is she really a Guardian” the strange Ghost asked Ripple. Its shell reflected some of the overhead light with its lacquer finish. A new shell, most likely.

 

“Yes. She’s _my_ Guardian. The only Guardian that the Queen _likes_.” Ripple’s shell spun as they spoke. They pressed themselves against the crook of her neck. Vivian didn’t push them away. If anything the pressure helped keep her head in place instead of aimlessly drifting into a nest of unending muck.

 

“We were told by the Queen to address you as such” the guard replied. Her shoulders slumped a little before straightening up. “If you have concerns-”

 

“Yeah, bring it up with ‘er. I know.” Vivian’s hand went to run through her hair. They stopped just short of touching her scalp. No wonder her head was so cold, though. Seeing as how she’d have to wait the titan leaned against the wall next to the guard. She kept her eyes off the other Guardians. They spoke in loud voices, the other titans especially. Their Ghosts were all gathering together to talk. Ripple nudged their shell against her shoulder. “Go. I know you’ve been lonely too, bud.”

 

She smiled when they made a small chirp and joined the other Ghosts. It must’ve been a sight for the guards at the door, watching all these little drones gather in one spot and simply _converse_. Meanwhile the titan decided to at least try to talk to the guard next to her.

 

“Know anything ‘bout this current meeting?”

 

“It’s about the Wolves. Skolas is back and the Paladins want to handle things in-house. The Queen wants Guardians to help sort the mess out.”

 

“Ahh.” Vivian chewed on her lower lip and stole a glance of the Guardians. “I’m guessing these ones come recommended from the Tower, then?”

 

“Aye.” The guard shifted her weight from one leg to another and turned her head to look at Vivian. “We heard what happened. Are you okay?”

 

For a moment the smaller woman was taken aback. She forgot entirely the reason she woke up without her hair. It was so difficult to even remember a single thing. Something must’ve been slipped to her because the memory of it just wasn’t really _there_.

 

“I guess. Don’t remember a whole lot, though. I guess someone spiked something I ate or drank when I got back.”

 

“From what we heard” the guard’s voice lowered so the other Guardians wouldn’t hear, “Bartok, one of the Crows, slipped something to you and just carried you off. No one stopped him or anything. The prince is out for blood. Anyone who was on guard that day’s being put on leave.”

 

“Oh.” Well, there was one thing she could remember. The drink he offered her. Hell, she even sniffed it to make sure it wasn’t booze. How much of a fool Vivian felt. She shouldn’t have taken the drink at all….

 

“Don’t blame yourself, ma’am.” The guard put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. “You couldn’t have known. And you did the right thing. You fought back.”

 

“Yeah and I lost my hair” Vivian whined. The guard giggled quietly and put her hand on top of her head.

 

“I hear they sell wigs in the Last City on Earth. You could always sneak back and get a few until your hair grows back.”

 

“I don’t think I’m gonna be allowed to be by myself for a while from the sounds of things.” Especially if Mara told the guards to treat her like she was part of the family. As much as Vivian wanted to soak in the potential for privilege this could bring, it just dawned on her that it meant she wouldn’t be able to go on missions by herself in the foreseeable future. “Hey, so, do y’know when Petra’s supposed to come back?”

 

“Oh, she is back.”

 

“I thought she wasn’t supposed to return for a few more days.” It hit her then. She’d been out of it for how many hours? Whatever that bastard slipped her was strong. Realization hit her at that moment. The realization that she was lucky to have woken up when she did. That Ripple got the message out when they did. The look on Vivian’s face must’ve expressed what was on her mind. The guard let out a quiet sigh and moved her hand off of her head.

 

“Don’t blame yourself” she told the titan again, “it’s not your fault it happened. Bartok was one of the prince’s trusted. If it upsets you so, there are groups for trauma. It helps to talk it out.”

 

“How can I talk about something I barely remember?” The titan fell silent. So too did the guard. For a while they stood in silence until the door to the throne room opened.

 

Petra stepped through. She glanced at one side of the room then the other. Her eye caught Vivian and instantly filled with concern. Neither of them cared about formalities or appearances when they embraced. It took all of the titan’s restraint not to cry into the taller woman’s shoulder.

 

“There you are” Petra breathlessly exclaimed. “How’re you holding up?”

 

“I’m alive and awake, aren’t I” Vivian replied. She glanced up at Petra and forced a smile. “Can barely remember a damn thing. That’s probably gonna change, huh?”

 

“Unfortunately.” The taller woman stepped away from the titan and motioned with her head towards the larger open room. Vivian nodded and turned to Ripple.

 

“Hey bud. You can keep chatting unless we need you, kay?” Ripple turned to face her, their shell expanding out in excitement before returning to the conversation the Ghosts were having. Vivian turned back around, took a breath, and followed Petra back into the throne room.

 

The Paladins and Techeuns glanced over when Petra returned with the titan. Most of the Paladins wore looks of concern or pity at their approach. But none of them spoke up. There was another woman standing among them. She clearly wasn’t of Mara’s court. In place of her eyes was a shroud of some sort. Three glowing orbs shone through. Wait...was the woman crying? Was that blood? Vivian could’ve sworn she saw the woman before but couldn’t put her finger on where.

 

Uldren wasn’t there. He must’ve been investigating still. Or taking his anger out on the guards, the other Crows, she assumed.

 

“Leave.” Mara waved off the rest of her court. They bowed almost in unison and quietly filed out of the room, strange woman included. When Petra turned to join them Mara spoke up. “Stay, Petra.”

 

Vivian was almost surprised how well Petra listened. Once the room was just the three of them the titan walked up to Mara and bowed. She ignored the small smile on Mara’s face. It was gone fast enough to make the smaller woman think it was a hallucination.

 

“Everyone in the Reef has a right to feel safe. Lately someone has violated that right for not only my brother’s bride-to-be, but every person in my realm.” Mara moved as if to stand. She stopped when Vivian stood up and held a hand out.

 

“Enough formalities, Mara. It’s not your fault, not Uldren’s, not the guards at the Outpost.” She stole a glance of Petra, and her wide-eye expression before turning back to Mara. “Hell, I can’t remember most of it. But I’d rather it all be dropped. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I don’t want the looks like I used to get _back then_ either.”

 

“Back then” Petra asked quietly. She swallowed when Mara stood up. Before the taller woman could speak Vivian raised a finger and turned to Petra.

 

“The pity. I can’t stand it. Everyone gave me that look back in the Distributary for the longest time. Didn’t they, Mara?”

 

“It wasn’t often that a whole family was brutally murdered.” Mara narrowed her eyes and took a step closer to the titan. “Like the Eliksni were in the Crow hideout you were sent to clear out.”

 

Petra blinked a few times and lowered her head. She didn’t want to be part of the womens’ argument. It seemed like they were going to drag her right in the middle of it. And picking either side would just leave everyone upset. Luckily, whatever was simmering between the older Awoken cooled off as quickly as it heated.

 

The door to the throne room opened. Petra reached for her sidearm but stopped when she realized it was Uldren almost stomping towards Vivian and Mara.

 

“Those blasted Guardians” he muttered as he approached. Ripple was trailing close behind him, shell shifting. When Vivian turned to look at him his glare lessened. “Everyone responsible has been dealt with.”

 

“Of course, brother.” Mara turned back to her throne and sat down. She crossed one leg over the other before leaning back in the throne. “Do we have an adequate amount of guards for patrols in that sector?”

 

“Yes.” Uldren stopped between Vivian and Petra. Vivian turned to him, flashed a small smile, and stepped closer. He pulled on her dress, closing the gap between the pair. His arm snaked around her waist and held firm.

 

“So, why am I being called _princess_ by the guards outside” Vivian asked. She crossed her arms over her chest and lowered her chin. All the while electric blue eyes remained on the queen. Uldren raised a brow, stole a glance from the shorter woman in his arm, to his sister.

 

“Oh, come now Vivian.” Mara flopped back down in her throne. “How many years have the two of you been betrothed?”

 

“I-” Vivian stopped herself short. This wasn’t the place or time that she wanted to discuss semantics. Not when they haven’t been discussed with who would be her groom. Her frustration got to her face- a blush formed on her cheeks. “The other Guardians give me looks. I don’t like it.”

 

“Better part of a millennia if you take out the century or two spent taking a space nap” Uldren answered. He glanced down at Vivian, then to Mara. At once, he led the smaller woman to a side door leading to a small room. When the door closed behind them he let go of her waist and moved her to stand in front of him. “Talk.”

 

“What of?” Vivian’s eyes moved across the room around them. Just a room with a table and nearly a dozen chairs. Nothing of note, no one else was here.

 

“You’re upset. Talk.” Uldren walked past her over to one of many chairs around a table. He sat down in one and crossed a leg over the other. Vivian swallowed and turned to face him. But for the longest time, the words refuse to rise from her throat. They were restricted by  _fear_. Either one of them was going to break the silence sooner or later.

 

“You hate Guardians” she muttered. Her eyes went to the floor. She could feel his ember orbs boring holes into her head. If her eyes met his she would break down in tears.

 

“True.”

 

“Then why...with all this…?” His calm demeanor was unraveling the titan. She reached up to the necklace that had been around her neck since she resurrected and undid the clasp. It felt like the thing was attached to her skin when she pulled it away. When she held it up in her hand, her eyes dared to meet his. “I don’t deserve any of this.”

 

Vivian was startled when he stood up. In a few moments Uldren closed the gap between the pair. He swiped the necklace from her hand and moved around her. She expected him to leave, for this to be the end of her time here. _Home_. Tears formed in her eyes, blocking her vision even when they spilled over. Her heart felt like it was retching itself to pieces. Like it was being ripped apart.

 

Until the feeling of the necklace returned to her neck. With hands far gentler than expected and without a word the prince carefully clasped the necklace back in its original place around the small titan’s neck.

 

“I could never hate Vivian.” His hand went to her shoulder. She could feel him put pressure, feel his breath in her ear. “You are Vivian, correct?”

 

She nodded. Not the answer he wanted.

 

“Are you Vivian Mou, lone survivor of the Mou family?”

 

“I am.”

 

“What is your name?” His hand went to her throat. If he wanted to he could choke her out. Vivian wouldn’t fight him.

 

“Vivian Mou.” A pause. A painful, agonizing pause. The hand at her throat moved to her shoulder. She didn’t fight when he spun her around to face him. The same hand that had been at her throat wiped at the tears streaming down her cheek and jaw.

 

“Then Guardian, do I hate _you_?”

 

“N-no.” She looked up at Uldren, looked in to his eyes. The torrent in her chest began to quell, burning in her throat began to ease. _Home. Home. Home._

 

Vivian didn’t fight when he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. As sudden as it was he pulled away, hand breaking from her face to cover his mouth. At once that torrent returned and in _force_ now. Air was forced from her lungs and began to burn her throat once more.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Your _Light_ ” he hissed from behind his hand. “Felt like I was putting my face to a Warsat that just fell from orbit.”

 

She froze. The tears of sorrow stopped. The titan began to laugh. Nervously at first. But the more the prince scowled and _blushed_ the more her laughter picked up. Now tears of _joy_ welled in the corners of her eyes.

 

“Fix it, woman” Uldren growled out. But his scowl was beginning to crack. The faintest shadow of a smile was beginning to show itself. “Now.”

 

“Okay, okay! Sorry-”

 

“And enough with the ‘sorry’s.” He grabbed her face between his hands and pressed on the sides of her head. “If I broke you of the habit once I can do it again. No. More. Sorry.”

 

Vivian stuck the tip of her tongue out and made a small raspberry. She broke out in laughter again when he snorted. He pulled her close and they laughed together.

 

 _Home. I’m home. This is home._ Oh, the high the titan was beginning to feel. Her eyes fluttered shut and she focused on her Light. It wasn’t a simple task for her to shift from one form to another, but with enough patience….  _There._

 

Uldren lifted her head with his hand. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers again. This time, instead of him jumping away, he remained there. Vivian’s heart felt like it was going to burst from her chest. She returned the gesture. Her hand went to his arm to steady herself when she began to stand on her toes. Time seemed to slow to a standstill. She wished this moment could last forever….

 

When the pair pulled away, he held her close to his chest. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him. The silence they shared was comfortable.

 

“This is home” she finally whispered. Uldren lifted his head just long enough to press his other cheek against her bare scalp.

 

“What is?”

 

“Right here. Like this.”

 

“You’re so sappy.” He shifted his face again and pressed his forehead to the top of her head. 

 

“Is that so bad?” She lifted her head up and gave him a toothy grin. He smiled back and kissed her forehead.

 

“No. Come on. Before they assume we’re-”

 

“Fucking in her meeting chamber? Oh no, so bad.” Vivian rolled her eyes and giggled. Nevertheless she took his arm when he turned for the door. Together, side by side. _Home. My home._

 

Mara peaked over the side of her throne when the side door opened. Petra had moved to stand next to her. The pair seemed to have been in the middle of a conversation.

 

“Your fly is open” Mara remarked to her brother. He stopped in his place and glanced down. Seeing the clear lie he frowned heavily. Vivian snorted louder than she’d hoped and covered her mouth with her hand. Petra nearly choked on her laughter. Mara simply smiled and leaned back in her throne.

 

“Not funny, sister.” Uldren pulled Vivian closer as they approached the dais and the throne.

 

“On the contrary. Your reaction was priceless” Mara replied. The smile that crossed her features moments prior was already gone. A moment’s silence passed over the group before she spoke again. “Well…?”

 

“The wedding date is still in the works” Uldren stated. He stole a glance from the smaller woman clinging to his arm.

 

“It’s been ‘in the works’ for a thousand years. Just pick a date already” Mara groaned. She pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

“Once everything settles down” Vivian blurted out. “Just like before.”

 

“So another thousand years, then?”

 

“No” Uldren and Vivian replied. Petra bit down on her lip to suppress a giggle.

 

“In any case.” Mara waved her hand while the other still pinched her nose. “Do you have any further complaints?”

 

“My head is cold. Um...anyone make wigs out this part of the system?” Vivian took half a step forward. Yet she still held unto Uldren. And he, to her.

 

“Your head...is cold” Mara repeated, and rolled her eyes. She turned her attention to Petra. “I leave it in your hands, my Wrath.”

 

“Yes, my Queen.” Petra bowed, glanced at the pair standing across from her. She motioned and the trio moved for the main door.

 

“Uldren. Stay.” With Mara’s words, Uldren stopped mid-step. Vivian stopped as well, glancing up to his face. They shared a quick kiss before pulling apart. Vivian following Petra, Uldren returning to his sister’s side.

 

“So,” Petra said once the pair stepped over the threshold, door closing at their heels. She struggled to keep the beaming smile off her face in the wake of the Guardians still milling about. “Marriage. And to the-”

 

Vivian shushed the taller woman when the Guardians began to glance at them. Ripple found their spot in the crook of her neck once more.

 

“You’re stressed.” Damned Ghosts. Being connected to their Guardian and all that. It was sometimes annoying to have something inside your head  _all the time_.

 

“I’m fine, Rip. Uh...could we take a trip to the Last City, Petra? I can go alone.”

 

“Alone? The prince would have my head.” Petra shook her head. The pair of Awoken began down the hall, passed the quiet Guardians. Once they were out of earshot of the outsiders she spoke up. “I could go with you.”

 

“You just got back, though. Really, I’ll be fine, I promise.” Vivian pulled Ripple away from her neck and held the small drone close to her chest. Much alike a mother with an infant.

 

“No.” Petra crossed her arms over her chest before spinning to look down at the smaller woman. “Not after Bartok nearly made it to Jupiter with you.”

 

Vivian bit her lip and turned away. She didn’t want to hear the bastard’s name. Her breath caught in her throat. One after another waves of panic, despair, and vague flashes of memory hit her. Arms held Ripple closer. Ripple, however, managed to wiggle free and press against their Guardian’s cheek.

 

“Don’t stress the prince out any more than he already is” Petra pleaded, quietly. “Think of it as...a girls’ day out and about. Did you ever have those sorts of things in the Distributary?”

 

“Wh-what, with _Mara_? Stars above, _no_.” Vivian scoffed and closed her eyes. The waves were beginning to lessen. “Sjur used to drag me around cause she refused to write down whatever Mara needed and knew I could remember it better.”

 

Petra stifled a laugh behind her hand. The pair shared a quiet chuckle there in the hall before picking up the pace to get to their ship. Once they stepped out to the Outpost, Vivian could feel the eyes on her. Whatever Uldren had done certainly meant she couldn’t go unnoticed for a long, long time to come.

 

“We’ll take my ship” Petra said as she took hold of the smaller woman’s hand. Despite the amount of Guardians finding their way in and over to the poor guard put on liaison duty, even she could feel the eyes on them. It was comforting knowing that nothing would happen again in the Outpost. But they were leaving for a place so big, so _loud_ , so bright…. Suddenly feeling a tug on her arm Petra pulled Vivian ever closer and led her to one of the many hangars right off the main drag. The smaller woman’s breathing was getting more haggard, the little Ghost at her shoulder trying its best to tell her to _relax_ , that _everything is alright_ , that _there's nothing to worry about, no one will hurt you again_.

 

They transmatted unto Petra’s Galliot. She led Vivian to a room filled with screens and controls right next to the cockpit.

 

“Here. Strap in.” There wasn’t any struggle moving the Guardian where she was needed. Like toting a half-asleep child around. If only she had a snack for the woman. “We’ll get there before you know it. Don’t worry about any of these controls or anything, okay?”

 

“’kay.” Vivian leaned back into the chair and let her eyes flutter shut. Her breathing was improving now that they were out of eyesight and away from the crowds. It would be fun leading the titan around the City. When Petra left for the cockpit she noticed Ripple hovering over her shoulder.

 

“What’s wrong lil guy?”

 

“She doesn’t like everyone watching her.” Ripple’s shell shifted as they crossed the airlock into the cockpit. Petra strapped herself in the chair and began cycling her ship’s engines. Ripple helped, shooting small beams of Light into the controls. “If I tell Uldren to cut down on the guards watching her he might just crush me.”

 

“He’s not a big fan of Ghosts. Can’t blame him.” She watched as the Ghost continued cycling the ship’s systems, checking self-inspections, and finally kicking the engines on. Had to be nice having a little buddy doing all that for you on the regular. “Apparently one went after him once. He tried to kill it but the thing kept going for his head.”

 

“Serves him right” Ripple replied. They spun around in the air, shell pieces shifting away from its core. “Was its Guardian near by? Were they dead? Probably why it went after him.”

 

“Don’t know. You could ask Jolyon since he was there too. He’s where I heard about it from.” The air around them fell silent save for the rumblings of the ship itself. Ripple continued to check the ship’s condition over and over. When a small asteroid bounced off the ship’s hull they seemed to nearly jump out of their shell and hurry back to where Vivian was stationed. Petra swapped the comms for within the ship on. “Everyone good back there?”

 

“Vivian’s panicking. Nothing new.” Ripple’s voice chimed in over the comm. “She doesn’t like space travel. Especially though the Reef’s channels.”

 

She sighed and forced herself to relax into her chair. Ripple had to have it under control. They had to have calmed her down half a dozen times at least if that was the case.

 

“I can pilot. Can you come back here? She might need some physical comforting.” Before Petra could object Ripple was back in the cockpit. All she could really do was nod, unbuckle from her seat, and make her way to the comm station. She saw Vivian, clutching the straps of her harness, face and hands white as snow. Moving to unbuckle the shaking titan she kept a firm grip on her shoulders.

 

“Vi. It’s fine. It was just some debris or a rock. Nothing’s going to happen. Nothing’s going to hurt you.”

 

Vivian’s frantic eyes broke out of their trance. Her hands fell to her lap. Within a few minutes her hyperventilating all but ceased. Tears streamed down the titan’s face from reddened eyes.

 

“Are you back with me?”

 

“Y-yeah” Vivian rasped. “Sorry. Went back t-to...”

 

“Want to talk about it?” One of Petra’s hands went to Vivian’s cheek. She wiped at tears still streaming. Concern filled her eye as the titan continued to shiver in her hands.

 

“He had me in a bunk room. Th-the door was locked...I couldn’t open it. When he came in he-he-he...there was a thump and he smelled like booze and grabbed my head and started wi-with the wall and…. I’m su-supposed to be this strong p-powerful Guardian, and h-he overpowered me. I could-ouldn’t fight back.”

 

“He drugged you” Petra whispered. Her other hand left Vivian’s shoulder to clasp the woman’s hands. “Want to go home?”

 

“No.” Vivian took in a deep breath and let it out as slowly as she could. “No. I can...I can manage. Please be pa-atient with me, Petra.”

 

“I will. Promise.” They smiled at one another. Vivian pressed her forehead to Petra’s and slumped in the taller woman’s arms. She radiated heat from her solar light. In the emptiness of space such warmth was a treat.

 

They remained like that for a while. Petra was able to see flashes of the older woman’s memories. Vivid images, smells of the Distributary. Mara and Uldren in what some would call their younger years. Before they were royalty. Laughing, dancing, cooking meals, getting drunk.

 

“We’ve arrived” Ripple announced. It broke both Awokens’ concentration. Vivian withdrew from Petra with slumped shoulders and lowered her chin. Petra rubbed her forearm and flashed a smile.

 

“I won’t leave you, understand? I might not be a Crow but I’ve had my fair share of ops where I had to shadow my targets.”

 

Vivian nodded, took a deep breath, and finally rose to her feet.


	14. Out and About

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivian and Petra have a decent day away from the Reef. With minimal issues.

Seeing the Tower from below was certainly...something. Vivian couldn’t step foot in it, what with Zavala’s decree. Not that she _wanted_ to go back. Her staring was broken when Petra pulled on her arm to continue their pace.

 

“There’s a shop a few blocks from here.” So they continued on. It was midday during the week, meaning that crowds would be at a minimal. And indeed, they were. No one paid the pair of Awoken any attention, no one stared. There were other Guardians walking around, their Ghosts floating and flitting about.

 

Eventually, after a little walking, Vivian recognized the neighborhood. Without a word she motioned for Petra to follow her as they diverted from their path. A block later they stumbled unto a gardening shop. Rows upon rows of plants adorned the front of the shop behind hip-high decorative metal fencing.

 

“This is the shop I got my plants from” Vivian muttered as she walked through the open gate. Petra nodded and followed closely. There were bugs flying all around them: bees, butterflies, small buzzing insects. One nearly found itself in her eye.

 

The shopkeep glanced over at their new patrons. She blinked a few times and narrowed her eyes at the pair. Surely one of them was familiar. It wasn’t until Ripple appeared out of thin air and buzzed around the shorter woman’s head that the mortal woman recognized.

 

“Ah, my favorite customer” she called out to Vivian. “I thought you moved out of the City?”

 

“Need some stuff I can’t get out there” Vivian replied. Her hand went to her head and the tiniest of red stubble that was beginning to grow. “Want to get a few things for my future sister-in-law.”

 

“Oh, you’re getting married?” The shopkeep hurried over and gave Vivian a quick hug. She nodded and smiled at Petra. “Congratulations are in order.”

 

“Oh, uh...she’s a friend.” Vivian glanced at Petra and blushed a little. Petra was interested in the smaller plants kept in equally small multi-colored pots along one of the walls. “Fiance has other duties than just following me around.”

 

“She is beautiful, though” the keep said in a quiet voice. She clapped her hands a couple times which made both Awoken jump. “Gifts for family! Tell me, does your sister-in-law know how to tend to a plant?”

 

The pair walked off to another section of the store. Petra watched them from a distance as Ripple’s shell shifted. They elected to remain closer to her rather than Vivian.

 

“We should find her a hat” Ripple stated. “Her scalp will burn by the end of the day.”

 

“You can always heal her” Petra replied. Her gaze was caught by a small plant in a simple pot. Its leaves were green at the edges and red closer to their stems. As much as she’d like to bring something home her duties would mean the poor thing would die in her room from unintended neglect.

 

Vivian and the shopkeep returned several minutes later with a cart chock full of plants. Petra couldn’t tell how many were going to be for her queen and how many were going to be for the titan’s personal garden. But they all seemed rather...plain. No flowers, no different colors. Some of the pots contained fine-print information on the produce they would grow.

 

“...didn’t realize I forgot some.” Vivian chuckled nervously and stopped the pull cart at the counter. She turned to Petra and flashed her a small smile. Ripple scanned the plants before hovering over to their Guardian’s shoulder. “Petra, there anything you like?”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“She likes this one” Ripple commented as they hovered over to the plant the taller woman was looking at earlier. Petra narrowed her eye at the little Ghost. Little _traitor_. Vivian stepped over to the table and picked up the plant in question and, despite Petra’s insistence that _no,_ she _couldn’t, it would die_ because she’s _too busy_ , set it on the counter.

 

“These things are hardy. Only thing that’ll kill them’s if you don’t water it for a year” the shopkeep commented as their fingers danced over a screen. Once Ripple transferred the Glimmer over, they transmatted the plants off the cart.

 

“Where’s the other point” Petra asked the ghost.

 

“Vivian’s room” Ripple replied. “Her transmat beacon is in her storage room.”

 

They left the shop, Ripple trailing close behind Petra. She wanted to smack the little drone for their betrayal. It took her a minute to realize Vivian wasn’t going the right way. After a second's redirection the pair began to head the way they were originally.

 

“Most of those plants are for Mara before you ask” Vivian said as they began to walk into heavier crowds. Her hand had managed to find Petra’s and was nearly cutting her fingers' circulation with her vice grip. “I figured she wouldn’t mind a few more. Some of ‘em grow produce similar to the Distributary.”

 

Petra knew the Queen liked to garden. She heard of Uldren bringing her exotic plants from equally exotic places. Like the Black Garden that _one time_.

 

“Similar, as in…?”

 

“Their fruits’ shapes. The shapes of the leaves. Likely the ones grown there are a branch of these ones from Earth.” Vivian slowed down in the crowds. Petra had to take the lead and the smaller woman’s arm in order to not lose her to the foot traffic. They were safe here, yes. But the clear discomfort all but _radiating_ from Vivian was evident.

 

The pair nearly walked by the shop they were intending to go to. It was hidden between a food market and a bustling restaurant. The front of the building and interior were smaller than the floral shop, but brighter. On the walls and on shelves around them were bodiless mannequins donned with dozens of wigs in just as many colors.

 

“Please don’t touch the displays” a voice called out when Vivian reached up to touch one of the longer wigs. She jumped back, hands moving to her chest. An Awoken woman, almost as tall as Petra, walked between two of the rows of shelves. She gave each Awoken before her a look over before dipping her chin. “What brings two kin from the Reef? There are those who offer similar services out there.”

 

“We heard there was one better here in the City” Petra replied. She kept a hand on Vivian’s arm. Before she could speak any further the woman raised her hand and approached the small Guardian. She lifted Vivian’s chin, ran her other hand over her stubble-laden scalp, and blinked a few times.

 

“I heard there was an attack on a Guardian out in your parts.” Her hand that held Vivian’s head still delicately caressed her jaw. “My wife is a trader between the Reef and City. The Prince halted all the trading routes just to find a single abducted Guardian.”

 

“Sorry” Vivian replied. She tried to lower her head, to keep her eyes off the taller woman. But she struggled and failed to move her head more than a smidge. To know that Uldren had inconvenienced everyone else simply to find her, of all people, made her even more upset at the situation.

 

“Tell me” the shopkeep replied as she released the smaller woman’s face, “what brings Reefborn to my humble shop? Surely it isn’t to simply chat.”

 

“I want to get a, uh...something to substitute for hair until my own grows back.” Vivian ran a hand over the top of her head. “A couple, preferably.”

 

The keep nodded and led the pair down towards the back of the shop. Here there were styles more familiar to Vivian, more akin to those she’s seen in her dreams and memories. Wigs of differing pastels, all different lengths and styles. The keep ran a finger over the Guardian’s eyebrows, clicked her tongue a few times, and moved to another aisle.

 

“Not many with your hair color, dearies. Especially Reefborn.” She reached up and pulled a fire red wig from one of the mannequins and carefully put in on Vivian’s head. The ends of the hair fell past the titan’s shoulders and bordered her face. Clearly not satisfied with the result the keep set the wig back atop its mannequin and moved to another. This wig was far longer, extending past her hips. When she adjusted it on Vivian’s head she tipped her head to one side. “Long hair suits you.”

 

“My fiance prefers longer hair.” Vivian hadn’t even realized what she said until seconds later. Her cheeks flushed purple and she blinked a few times. No matter how hard she tried her words failed her, stumbling from her mouth like drunken fools. The shopkeep laughed and placed a hand on her cheek.

 

“We have someone to please, then. Now, to have a piece ready for you it might take a few hours. Do the two of you have the time to spare?”

 

“Yes” Petra replied before Vivian could.

 

“Excellent. So, one this style...you said a few, correct?”

 

“A-a few, yes. Um...” Vivian let out a slow breath in an attempt to calm her racing heart. “A shorter one for, uh...when one this length would be inappropriate, perhaps.”

 

“I wouldn’t recommend wearing any of these into combat” the keep replied. She set the long wig back atop its mannequin and glanced at the others set up before her.

 

“I wouldn’t, no. Wouldn’t want to ruin any of them. They’re too beautiful.” Vivian glanced at a small card hanging off the shelf. It had dozens of colored locks of hair with what was probably the stock numbers for the colors. So many pretty colors….

 

She jumped when the next wig was placed. But when she glanced at herself in the mirror, at its asymmetrical shoulder length….

 

_Uldren shook his head and let out a frustrated huff._

 

_“Why? Your hair was fine, Vi.”_

 

_Vivian crossed her arms over her chest and also let out a huff._

 

_“A dozen different reasons. If I’m to be going on more missions I can’t have my long hair, it’s just not a safe idea. Not all of it crams into my helmet, and it gets in my eyes when I manage to.”_

 

_“You’re not going on another of those missions” he replied. “That's why we have the Crows and the Corsairs.”_

 

_“Everyone else is scouting other trade routes, Uldren. I can pick up some of the slack. And not just sit at a desk all day every day.”_

 

_“You can barely use a gun.” He pointed to the hand cannon strapped to her hip. “Your aim is crap without a laser sight.”_

 

_“I’m not just some dainty little thing to place up in some tower while everyone else bleeds” Vivian replied. Her voice lowered but not her gaze. “Please. At least respect me enough to-”_

 

_“I’m not losing you to some Eliksni ambush.” He closed the gap between the pair. His hands clasped her arms and held firm. “Everyone sees that you want to help. But you’re not cut out for that line of work, Vivian. Who else can I send wounded Crows to and know they’ll be patched up with care and ready to get out there in no time?”_

 

 _“A dozen other doctors, not just me.” Vivian brushed aside a wandering strand of hair. She hadn’t had short hair for eons. Not since her playful youth. Her head hadn’t felt this light in so long._ _But she understood his hesitation. He just didn’t realize how much panic she had every time Uldren simply stumbled in to her office, trailing blood and cytogel, pale as a ghost._

 

_“No. You’re not going. That’s the end of it.”_

 

_Silence befell the pair. Uldren didn't let go of her arms, nor did he stop staring into her eyes._

 

_“So I guess I have to tell Mara to put someone else on this run I have in a few hours, then? Because you’re too scared to let me go beyond-”_

 

 _Vivian nearly jumped back when Uldren frowned. His grip tightened on her arms- she’d be bruised there, later._ _They stood there, staring into the other’s eyes, challenging their stubbornness on the other_ _. Stubbornness was_ _Vivian lacked._

 

_“I will tell her you’re not going, if you’re so scared to tell her" he said, barely above a whisper._

 

_“I want to go. You just don’t want me to.”_

 

_“As as a Crow, you listen to my commands. Is that understood?”_

 

_She took a breath and let it out slowly. He got her there. Shaking her head she relaxed against him, arms moving to wrap around him. As she did he seemed to relax, loosen his grip._

 

_“And as my soon to be husband?”_

 

 _“I will find someone to replace you or go myself. You’re not going.” His voice lowered as he pulled her close. “_ _We’re losing too many good people, Vivian. We can’t lose you, too.”_

 

“Vivian.” Petra was shaking her shoulder. The shopkeep was just returning, a look of concern clearly marked on her features. The Emissary turned to the woman with a nervous smile. “This happens often. No worries.” Luckily the keep left the pair alone, retreating to a back room. It left the pair alone.

 

“I’m here” Vivian said quietly. She reached up and found nothing on her head. Her heart was still racing. Ripple pressed their shell to her cheek and let out a concerned chirp.

 

“We lost you there for a few minutes” Petra said with a small smile. “Found one that looked like your style before. The wigs will be ready in a few hours. Want to go explore?”

 

“Will Uldren let her explore” Ripple asked. “Or would he rather her just stay in the Reef?”

 

“Ripple” Vivian growled. She grabbed her Ghost out of the air and shoved them down the front of her shirt. All the while they were chirping angrily, shell shifting and struggling in her hands. “Where would we go?”

 

“There’s a few shops here and there. We can just walk around.” Petra seemed to ignore Ripple’s remarks. Certainly it would be conversation when they were someplace more private.

 

The pair left the shop for the time being. The sun was bright and strong overhead but paled in size to the Traveler just off in the distance. Yet despite its size, the buildings and streets below it were as bright as the rest of the City. The crowds had died down in the time that the Awoken had been inside the shop. It was easier for them to take their time and glance at each shop.

 

Petra dragged Vivian to a stand that was selling hats. She got a wide-brim hat for the small titan and smiled when she pulled it on. Vivian wanted to argue but by the time it was paid for they were already continuing down the street.

 

“I don’t need this” the Guardian muttered. “I’ll be fine.”

 

“If I bring you back with a sunburnt scalp Uldren will kill me” Petra replied with a small smile. “It looks good on you. Stop complaining.”

 

“I’m going to complain!” Vivian puffed her cheeks and stopped walking. She crossed her arms over her chest and stuck a leg out in front of her. Petra snickered and rolled her eye.

 

“You’re throwing a fit like him. Adorable.”

 

Vivian sputtered before stomping past Petra. Petra let out a short laugh before following the shorter Awoken. The pair came to a large open-air market that was covered by dozens of different colored canopies. Stalls lined the street on both sides. The amount of civilians had picked up again. The titan had forgotten her anger and resorted to clinging to Petra once more.

 

Eventually the smaller woman drifted away. Petra followed close behind, her eye taking in as much of the area as she could. What had attracted the titan to the stand they were approaching now?

 

Birds. Dozens of birds carved out of different mediums, of different sizes. The Exo tending to the stall struck up a small conversation with Vivian. She told him how she wanted to get something for her fiance, about what she was looking for. Something simple, but elegant. He pointed out a bird carved of white polished stone clasping a blue gem in its talons, its wings fully extended, taking off for the sky. Vivian forked over the Glimmer as the Exo boxed up the bird. Upon seeing Ripple appear out of nowhere he tried to tell her that she didn’t have to pay for it.

 

“Guardians help this City enough-”

 

“I’m not of the City, but of the Reef. Nothing goes unpaid.” She set the handful of Glimmer down and took the box in her hands. It vanished in a shimmer of Light seconds later. She returned to Petra and flashed the tiniest of smiles. “It sucks being a Guardian.”

 

“Does it, now” Petra asked, brow raising. “Because people don’t want you to pay for things? One would think that was a perk of the job.”

 

“I’m no Guardian. Isn’t there another term for uh...people the Traveler brought back, that isn't Guardian?”

 

“Lightbearer is another one. I heard Risen was the old term.”

 

“I like Lightbearer” Vivian replied. She let out a sigh and glanced around at the other stalls. “I want to get something for Jolyon, too. I don’t know what he likes, though.”

 

“He modifies weapons Guardians leave around the system.” Petra shrugged. “Doesn’t seem like the one to adore getting gifts.”

 

The titan let out another sigh. She wanted to be friends with the man, really. And if he helped save her from Bartok, she certainly wanted to repay him in some way. There had to be something, anything. Besides possibly food. Something deep inside her, maybe it was the Vivian of old, scoffed at the idea of giving food.

 

_You’re telling them they need to eat more. It’s an insult._

 

It clicked.

 

She began to glance about, at the contents of each stall. Petra trailed as close as she could but in the thickening crowd it proved to be a bit of a challenge. The only thing you could use to spot the titan was the hat she wore. When the smaller woman veered off towards a more permanent stand chock full of weapons the Emissary wasn’t far behind.

 

A guard stopped Vivian and Petra before they could get to the stall. Their weapon was slung across their chest.

 

“No civilians” the guard stated simply.

 

“I’m no civilian.” Vivian lifted her hand, palm to the sky. Ripple appeared in a shimmer of Light, giving the guard a friendly chirp and shift of their shell. The guard didn’t seem too impressed, even when they spotted the badge on Petra’s chest.

 

“Guardians can get their weapons from the Tower.”

 

“I’m banned from the Tower” Vivian replied. Ripple nestled themselves against her neck, their optic staring at the guard. “I’m just looking for some tools. No guns. Got plenty.”

 

“And her” he replied, pointing to Petra. Vivian glanced at her friend before turning back to the guard.

 

“Keeping me from getting in trouble. Are we going to have trouble?”

 

“What would Reefborn need from us? Don’t you lot have more tech out there than any of us here?”

 

Vivian let out an audible sigh before crossing her arms over her chest. The guard didn’t seem they’d wanna budge. Fine. If that was the way he wanted it.

 

“Sometimes there’s stuff we need we can’t find out there. But, I guess if you don’t want Glimmer, that’s fine. I’ll spend it elsewhere.” She turned and waved the man off with a flick of her wrist. Some of the racks of weapons behind him shook. A couple of the guns flew off their holders and clattered on the ground. The guard spun around to see who was causing the commotion. By the time he turned back around the question the pair, they were gone.

 

“How did you do that” Petra asked Vivian as they blended back into the crowd.

 

“I dunno yet.” Vivian closed her eyes. "If I focus enough, it just sort of...happens?" Her head was beginning to pound. She would’ve walked into a table if it weren’t for her friend’s careful grasp.

 

“When you figure it out, tell me. Careful.” Petra led her to a quieter part of the market. They were at the other end of the commotion, the bustle of it all. There were tables here with chairs. They sat down together at a table near the exit. “Were you really expecting him to let you in cause you’re a Gu- Lightbearer?”

 

“Uh, yeah?” Vivian kept her eyes shut. She began to rub at her temples. A couple chairs rustled around them but otherwise remained still. Petra put her hands over Vivian’s and shut her eye. They remained there, silent for a few minutes. When she removed her hands the titan opened her eyes and smiled. “You made it better. How…?”

 

Petra hesitated to answer. She swallowed before speaking,

 

“Did you ever receive any implants?”

 

“I don’t remember. Why?”

 

“There’s...certain implants that can help with telekinesis. The Techeuns are ones who usually receive such implants.” Petra leaned back in her chair and began to rub her chin with her hand. “Wonder who signed off on someone outside of a Coven having such implants.”

 

“Is that a bad thing?” Vivian kept her hands over her temples. Her eyes were widening at the thought that maybe old Vivian had done something bad that no one else knew. Something she’d have to ask Uldren. Cause if anyone knew about what she did, it had to be him.

 

“Not necessarily.” Petra glanced around before leaning forward, elbows on the table between them. “You were high ranking at one point. Maybe it was done to help you with your tasks.”

 

“Like...if I were doing surgery and needed an extra hand?”

 

“Possibly.”

 

Vivian’s shoulders slumped. At least it wasn’t a _bad_ thing, what she could do. She watched as Petra pulled out her knife and held it out between the pair of them. Her eyes were glued to the blade as it levitated above its owners hand, spun around twice, and dropped out of the air.

 

“That’s cool” she replied with a smile. Petra smiled back and sheathed her knife before anyone could yell at either of them.

 

“I’d theorize your connection to the Light only intensifies your capabilities.” Petra crossed her arms over her chest. She leaned back in the chair before rocking back and forth.

 

Minutes of silence passed between the pair before she spoke up again. “There was a place next to the shop, if you want a bite to eat.”

 

“Yeah. Might be best to head back now.” Vivian stood up out of her chair, stretching her arms over her head. She joined Petra’s side and together, ventured through the crowds once more. There wasn’t much that either of them really were attracted to aside from a couple of hand-dyed scarves. The titan treated the both of them with a scarf a piece. She slipped her own thin scarf between her head and the hat and let the fabric drift down her shoulders. It was the closest to hair she’d have until her wigs were done.

 

Before they got the restaurant, a familiar voice called out.

 

“PV! Hey!”

 

Petra glanced around before spotting an equally familiar Exo waving at her. She curled her lips toward her teeth in order to hide the small smile forming on her face. Vivian tensed up, eyes widening, hands reaching to hide her face from the Vanguard.

 

It was in vain. Cayde approached the pair, arms open wide.

 

“Is that a Vivian I see hiding there?”

 

“No. It’s not.” Her shoulders arched up each side of her head as he pulled both her and Petra into an awkward hug. Before she could do anything about it he swiped the hat and scarf right off her head. “No, Cayde! Give that-”

 

“Oh. _Oh._ Uh… am I allowed to ask what happened? Lost a bet or something?” Cayde glanced at the hat and scarf in his hand before Vivian grabbed them back. She readjusted both as she put them on.

 

“There was an incident” Petra replied, her voice low. “If it weren’t for Prince Uldren she wouldn’t be here.”

 

“Incident? Someone mad that there was a Guardian out in the Reef kind of incident or…? Or is it-”

 

“I’d rather not talk about it.” Vivian grit her teeth as her arms crossed over her chest. “And not have it spoken about, either.”

 

“So wait, hold up a moment. Petra, you’re telling me that Uldren, the man who hates Guardians, _saved_ a Guardian. Not only a-”

 

“Cayde” Vivian snapped. Something brushed Cayde’s hood off his head. His hand went to his bare head then to his hood to pull it back on. Petra put a hand to Vivian’s back.

 

“If something happened Zavala’s gonna want to know. You’re still a Titan, Vivian, whether you like it or not.” Cayde tipped his head to one side. He blinked a couple of times and turned his attention to Petra. “Can you tell me without her being around? That allowed?”

 

“Yes. Only with,” Petra raised her finger before Cayde could interject, “Vivian out of earshot. Understood?”

 

“Yeah, Yeah. You ladies hungry? There’s a ramen shop nearby. My treat. They even got that sort of thing in the Reef?”

 

Vivian glanced up at Petra. She silently pleaded with the woman to please say no. She’d rather spend the day with just the two of them. But that would be rude.

 

“If you’re buying I’m sure Vivian doesn’t mind.” Petra returned the look back to the titan, but with a raised brow. “Do you, Vivian?”

 

“I do mind. Very much.” Oh, no. She wasn’t going to just lay down quietly. Vivian turned to Cayde and let out a sigh. “You two can. I want something sweet.”

 

Before Petra could truly protest, Vivian all but sprinted off toward the wig shop. As much as she regretted ditching the two of them- really, she didn’t mind that much- she’d much rather have some time alone. For the first time in forever, she wanted to just be alone. Recharge the social batteries, so to say.

 

There was a sweets shop a few buildings away from the wigs. Vivian checked that Petra and Cayde hadn’t tailed. Good. Oh how she felt like such a rebelling princess, running away from her guard. If Uldren said anything she’d put the blame on the sudden meeting with her old Vanguard. Much as she liked Cayde...well, she liked her fiance just a little more.

 

More than that. She missed Uldren terribly. Only away for half a day and yet she couldn’t stop thinking about him now that she was alone. Once she got her wigs she wanted to find Petra and hurry back home to show him. Hell, even looking at the selection of chocolates and candies and small gifts gave her an idea. She got a few sweet pastries for herself for lunch, then got a couple of gift boxes and had the shopkeep load them up with sweets. Screw what the old Vivian said.

 

_It’s cheap. It’s a cheap gift. They can’t last forever._

 

Ah, fuck that noise. Nothing wrong with some snacks!

 

Vivian sat down at a table outside. She thanked the worker who brought her warmed up pastries to her along with the gift-wrapped boxes and a cup of tea. Ripple transmatted the boxes back to her room as she leaned back, tea in hand.

 

“That wasn’t nice of you to dip like that, Vivian” Ripple said as they hovered in front of her face. “Cayde’s only worried about you. He cares despite what you think.”

 

“He seems to be the only one from here that does.” Vivian took a sip of her tea before taking a few bites of her pastry. If she didn’t know any better it almost, _almost_ , felt like she was back in the Distributary. Such peace, such calm. It wouldn’t last, no. But for now the best thing to do was to enjoy it.

 

At least, what peace there was until she caught glimpse of Cayde with Petra at his heels. She was saying something to him. Whatever it was she was clearly mad about. And Cayde was simply shrugging off her anger. He sauntered right up to Vivian’s table and flopped down in the chair next to her.

 

“I said don’t talk about it to-”

 

“Petra, I know you’re trying to be helpful and protective. Like a good mother to a, well...Vivi is older than you, right? So would that make a protective daughter-”

 

“Do I want to know what has Petra in such a tizzy?” Vivian took a sip of her tea. There goes the peace she was enjoying. Gone like the smoke from burning incense.

 

“That thing with that guy uh...what was it. Barbie? Bardock-”

 

“Bartok?” His name on her lips felt like acid. Her grip tightened around the handle of the delicate cup in her hand. “I don’t want to talk about this. Not to you, not to Mara, Petra, Zavala, Uldren. No. One. Now drop it, and let me enjoy my tea.”

 

“You’re not going to feel better keeping it to yourself.” Cayde pulled his chair closer. He ignored her glare from behind the cup in her trembling hands. Taking a breath he leaned forward towards her. “It’ll just make you feel worse the longer you hold it in.”

 

Vivian rolled her eyes and finished her tea. She took an angry bite from her pasty. Her hands were still shaking. She wished to be away from Earth, from the City, back in the Reef. If she was there and someone wanted her to talk about it, Uldren would probably strangle them for her. Maybe.

 

“You’re scared that there’s stuff out there stronger than us. That we have moments where we’re vulnerable, right? I hate to break it to ya, but we’re not top dog in the system sometimes. Things just...happen, Vi. You can’t blame yourself-”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it” Vivian interjected. “Please. If I don’t want to talk about it to my fiance then I certainly don’t want to to you.”

 

“Well, when you want to you can- wait. Wait, wait wait wait wait.” Cayde leaned back and turned to Petra. “I thought you two were related?”

 

“No, we’re not.” Petra buried her head in her hand and shook her head.

 

“Well, you look related. But wait, fiance?” Cayde turned back to Vivian now. “When’d you get hitched? You’ve barely been gone for three months and you’re getting married already? Ever heard of getting to know the person-”

 

Vivian groaned loudly. She nearly slammed her fist into the cup on the table. When her fist made contact with the metal table it rattled the cup and its dish and startled Petra and Cayde.

 

“Okay, wait, I wanna guess who it is. Ain’t the Queen. No...it’s not Petra, is it?”

 

“No, it’s not” Petra replied. The smallest hint of a soft blush developed on her cheeks.

 

“Uh...do I know them, then?” Cayde reached for the second pastry on Vivian’s plate. She slapped his hand away and snarled at him. “Going out on a limb. Uh, Prince Peacock?”

 

Vivian’s cheeks had the softest purple on her cheekbones. She finished her first pastry before grabbing her second, only to make one single lick down its length. Petra rolled her eye. The move made Cayde stop reaching for it.

 

“I’m right, aren’t I? Aren’t I, PV?”

 

“Go buy yourself a fucking pastry.” Vivian slid a few larger chunks of Glimmer to the Vanguard. “And stop calling him a peacock.”

 

“Why him” Cayde asked as he collected up the Glimmer off the table. He got to his feet and hurried inside. A few minutes later he returned with several pastries on two plates and two cups. He set a cup and plate down in front of Petra despite her objections. “What do you see in him, Vi? He hates Guardians.”

 

“I think she’s an exception to the rule” Petra replied. She took a sip of her drink, smiled, and then took another. “They were in a relationship for a long time before her first death.”

 

“Huh. And you just...picked it up again? Just like that?”

 

“I’m remembering my first life more and more every day.” Vivian pulled apart her pastry and tossed a smaller piece into her mouth. “It’s going to take a while to get everything back. Got a few thousand years to regain.”

 

“Few thousand...what, were you two a thing before the Collapse or something?”

 

“I’m not discussing further.” Of course, that was a bit of a lie. She was happy that at least Cayde didn’t outwardly hate her for her choices. “Uldren saved me from Bar...tok....”

 

_She could barely see. But the black hair, the ember glowing orbs staring down at her. There was only one person with that look that she knew._

 

 _“Ul...”_ _it was all Vivian could say. Something was beginning to choke her. The hand caressing her cheek continued as another moved to touch her head._

 

_“We’re going home. Where’s your Ghost?”_

 

_How odd for him to ask where Ripple was. She had to be hurt bad. Where his hand wandered over her head it ached to no end, though. The shimmer of Light that signaled Ripple’s appearance caused Vivian to let out a choked groan. She struggled to stay awake, to keep her gaze on his eyes. But once Ripple began to use the Light to heal her wounds, the warmth of it all seeped into her aching bones. She was safe here. With Uldren, Vivian was safe._

 

“This is why I told you not to discuss it with her- Vivian?” Petra’s hands were on her shoulders. The cup that had been at Vivian’s hand had shattered. Pieces were stuck in her shaking hand, blood oozing over the undamaged plate and cup fragments. Tears wet her cheeks.

 

Cayde reached out, pulled her injured hand close, and began to pull pieces of the cup from Vivian’s hand. She didn’t whine, nor cry out in pain. It didn’t hurt that much. Not as much as the pain throbbing in her head.

 

“I’m sorry” she muttered, barely over a breath. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry….”

 

“Don’t worry bout it, kid.” Cayde flashed her the closest thing to a smile an Exo could do and turned his attention back to her hand. “Shouldn't have brought it up. My bad.”

 

“Once we pick up your wigs, we can go right home” Petra said. Her hands moved off the smaller, slumping shoulders and clasped her uninjured hand. “I can find something for Jol at home for you, okay? Actually...Cayde. Could I ask for a favor?”

 

“What kind?” He pulled Vivian’s hand closer before letting Ripple begin to heal the cuts.

 

“Weapon repair kits.”

 

“How many?”

 

“Something for long rifles, preferably. For a friend who might not have everything.”

 

He turned his head to the side. His Ghost appeared over his shoulder. “We got anything on hand right now?” A few chirps, and his Ghost vanished. Seconds later, it returned and transmatted a canvas bag chock full of tools.

 

“Thanks, ‘dance.” He pat his Ghost’s shell and watched as it left his side to scan Vivian’s healing hand. The two Ghosts seemed to communicate to one another. Whatever was exchanged was brief. Both of them vanished at the same time with the canvas bag. “Hand feeling better?”

 

Vivian clenched her hand together. The pain was gone there, but not in her head. She nodded and figured it would be too much to ask Ripple to make that pain go away. Too demanding. Her nerves felt like they were on end, joints aching and stiffening up. Oh, how she longed to be home, under her blankets in her bed.

 

Cayde returned to his treats. It would’ve been interesting to Vivian to watch an Exo eat. But everything just felt...off. Petra could sense it, as well. Her plate was already cleared and she was finishing the last of her drink.

 

“We should get going, Vivian. Your wigs should be ready by now.”

 

“Yeah.” Vivian stuffed the rest of her pastry into her mouth and nearly choked when she tried to swallow it all. Petra made a face of disapproval and shook her head as the titan forced down the rest of the food between awful-sounding coughs. She wanted to make a comment about how her and the prince were similar in their pure stubbornness but figured it would land better when Vivian didn’t look like she was on the verge of tears.

 

“I wanna see” Cayde commented between bites of his food. He hurried inside with their dishes and returned with a small paper bag.

 

Vivian didn’t have the strength to argue. She let the Hunter Vanguard invite himself and tag along the few blocks it took to return to the shop. The shopkeep was waiting for them with a couple boxes sitting on the counter. She motioned for the titan to take a seat in a cushioned chair in front of a wall mirror.

 

The first one to try on was the shorter of the two. It was different than the light brown display Vivian had been shown earlier. The color of the hair was almost exactly like her normal hair color, much to her comfort. After a bit of adjusting, trimming of a fine mesh along the edges, she was allowed to see herself in it.

 

“How does it feel” the shopkeep asked.

 

“I feel normal” Vivian replied with a small smile. The keep smiled as well and removed the wig. The second one needed a bit of brushing once it was removed from the box. Partially with how long it was. Vivian had to stand as it was brushed. The keep even braided the sides of her hair and tied them together at the back of her head. The final touch was a couple of live flowers carefully tucked into the braided crown.

 

“Perfect for a princess, isn’t it” the taller woman asked Petra. Vivian couldn’t stop looking at herself in the mirror. The first look was her, yes. But this second one was...it was really _her_. She was still tired and sore, but at least her mood felt like it was finally on the rise. When she turned to Petra and Cayde, the Vanguard held up a piece of paper with a ‘10’ written in big numbers on it. Vivian giggled. She was unable to hide her beaming smile.

 

“It looks completely natural. You wouldn’t think it wasn’t” Petra commented. “Wonderful work. Now I see why the Corsairs I spoke to recommend you.”

 

“I only offer my best work.” The shopkeep turned to Vivian. “And that smile says it all. First time in how many years you’ve had long hair?”

 

“A couple centuries” Vivian replied. “I-I had hair this long before. But times got tough. I couldn’t just sit around waiting for injured soldiers to roll in my office.”

 

“I’m honored. Let me show you how to take care of them.” The shopkeep pulled Vivian aside. They conversed for several minutes, leaving Cayde and Petra to converse with one another.

 

“You brought her all the way out here for a couple of wigs” he asked in a hushed tone. "I mean, she needs 'em. Looks small without a little bit of something on 'er head, but still..."

 

Petra shot him a look before crossing her arms over her chest. “The Queen wanted something to distract Vivian. The Prince didn’t want her left alone. A balance had to be struck."

 

“So you got stuck with babysitting duty” Cayde replied.

 

“I wouldn’t call it that.” Her eyes moved towards the titan and civilian still conversing. Ripple remained close to Vivian’s shoulder as they spoke. “I think of it as a day off.”

 

Cayde shrugged and pulled a pastry out of the bag in his hand. Taking only a few bites to finish it off, the hunter wiped his fingers off on his gauntlet. There was a thump outside against the shop’s window. It scared Vivian and the shopkeep. The titan moved the keep to the back as Petra pulled out her sidearm. Cayde raised his hand to the Emissary before moving to the door. When he opened it, a Crow glanced up at him from the sidewalk. He frowned at it and tried to close the door but Petra caught his arm.

 

She picked up the machine-bird and that’s when she noticed the small pack strapped to its body. As soon as it was removed it stretched its wings out and flew out of the shop without a word. Cayde glared at it before turning to Petra.

 

“You send carrier birds in the Reef? Now I see why Vi left.”

 

“Ha.” Petra opened the pack and extracted a small chip sitting in form-fitting foam. She slipped the chip into a tablet she had on hand stored in a pouch on her hip and scanned it over. A few moments later she pulled the chip out and handed it to Cayde. “Reports for the Vanguard. If he didn’t hate you lot so much he would’ve delivered them right to the Tower.”

 

Cayde took the chip and slipped it into his pocket. Seemed like work always found him when he just wanted an afternoon off. He nodded to Vivian as she approached the pair, Ripple following just above her shoulder. She still wore the hip-length wig and a small smile to boot.

 

“Did I see one of Uldren’s Crows, Petra?” Vivian’s smile died a little as her eyes wandered out the window. No sight of the Crow she swore she saw in Petra’s arms. “Had to leave already?”

 

“Might not have been his. I’m sure he would’ve had something to say about Cayde being here.” Petra glanced at Cayde and flashed him a smirk when he frowned at her. “Merely a courier.”

 

“You’ll see him soon enough, kid.” Cayde pulled Vivian close with an arm around her shoulders. “Anything you wanna do before you go back? Want some actual chow? Anything?”

 

“I want to go home, chief. I had enough for today. Sorry.” She winced a little when she apologized. For a moment, she was expecting to get berated. But it never came. Cayde merely nodded and pulled her in a tight hug that nearly took the breath from the small titan’s lungs.

 

“Swing by the Tower when you’re feeling better, got it? And...behave. Oh, and when the wedding swings by I want an invite.” He stepped away from her. Together the trio left the shop. They split ways, Cayde turning to head back to the Tower, Vivian and Petra towards their transmat location.

 

The walk back was filled with silence. The sun was setting to a point where the massive walls of the City blocked its direct light but still illuminated the Traveler and the sky above. The clouds were growing heavy to one side and seemed to stretch up for miles upon miles. Vivian stopped in her tracks when they walked by an art shop. She glanced to Petra with widened eyes and an ever growing smile.

 

“Go. I’ll wait out here.” As much as Petra wanted to just go home, she couldn’t say no to that childish expression. She sat down on a bench that was facing the shop and watched Vivian as she hurried inside. The woman wasn’t in there long but the amount of stuff that acclimated on a table that Ripple transmatted away was...a little concerning.

 

 _Well, if she enjoys it so much who’s going to stop her_ Petra thought to herself. She got to her feet when the titan hurried out of the store. There was a bit of a spring back in her step. Her hands clapped together when she stopped in front of Petra.

 

“I need your counsel, Petra.” Vivian held her hands out when Petra moved to stand up. “I want to make something for Mara. But I don’t know if she’d have me killed for it or not.”

 

“Make something? What would you make?” Petra steeled her stomach and tried to relax at the same time.

 

“A portrait. Of Sjur. Do you think she’d hate me if I made it for her?”

 

Petra’s brows raised. Oh, that was certainly a sensitive topic. It was hard enough to mention the old Wrath around the Queen. And yet a Guardian with barely a fraction of their memories wanted to make something with Sjur’s likeness on it?

 

“I saw your drawing capabilities. I don’t think she’d be offended, if that’s what you’re asking.”

 

“But would she hate it if someone did something like that? If you think she would, I won't do it.” A bit of that glimmer in Vivian’s died down a little. Her fingers began to fidget together and she took her eyes off Petra. “I remember admiring Sjur in my first life. She was an amazing warrior. And she tried to teach me but I was...”

 

“You were a doctor. You saved and helped bring forth life.” Petra leaned forward and held Vivian’s fidgeting hands. They were warm. In the cool shadows the buildings overhead cast, she could see the solar Light rippling over her skin. “Gift it to the Queen in private. I don’t think you would incur any anger if done away from the Paladins and Techeuns.”

 

“Okay.” A smile crept back to Vivian’s face. She didn’t move her hands away from Petra’s. No, she rather enjoyed holding hands like this.

 

“A message from the Prince” Ripple announced. “He wants both of you back in the Reef.”

 

“Aye.” It was Petra who broke their hold. But she kept a hand in Vivian’s as they hurried to the transmat point. Every few meters she glanced back just to make sure the titan wasn’t yearning to stop elsewhere. Once at the point the pair waited only for a minute until Petra’s ship flew in and stopped above their heads.

 

They were inside before Vivian could even think. She moved to the small half closet that was the comm station as Petra hurried to the cockpit. Ripple followed along, running system checks while Petra strapped in. She really had to find a way to get one of these little guys without, you know, dying.


	15. Soured Moods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivian and Jolyon square away the relationship they have with the prince. Two dumbasses bang and end up being late the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I'm not trying to make these chapters so long.
> 
> Also yes my friends I upped the rating of this fic because of this chapter.

Being called back by Uldren himself, Petra and Vivian had expected him to be the one waiting for them back in the Outpost. When they disembarked from Petra’s ship they weren’t greeted by Uldren, but Jolyon. Upon Vivian’s approach he slid off the pile of crates he and the other Crows usually seemed to enjoy perching on.

 

“Something came up before you guys got back.” He flashed a smile before patting the small Guardian on the shoulder. “How you holding up?”

 

“Eh...” Vivian shrugged her shoulders and made a face. “If it weren’t for Petra I would probably be curled up in some alleyway crying right now.”

 

“A few hiccups here and there” Petra replied. “Nothing that couldn’t be handled.”

 

Jolyon nodded. He glanced over to the titan, to the hair that was suddenly there when...well, he was the one who had shaved her head. At the behest of Uldren. The poor woman had whole chunks of her hair and scalp missing and they had elected it would be a better look for her to go without, than to have so many missing patches.

 

He ran his fingers through the long locks and scoffed.

 

“Certainly has a type, doesn’t he?”

 

“He almost broke off the engagement when I cut my hair” Vivian explained. She moved her head just a little to keep her hair from moving around on her scalp. “But you can’t shove this much hair into a helmet and expect nothing to go wrong.”

 

“Tell me about it.” Jolyon untucked his long, lazy braid and draped it over his shoulder. “It’s why I prefer missions in the dirt. But I can give you a few pointers on how to pin it all up if you’d like.”

 

“I don’t want to ruin these wigs. They aren’t cheap.” Vivian ran her fingers through her locks and flashed a nervous smile. Her attention shifted to Petra as she passed by the pair and approached the bounty station. She turned back to him, the small smile on her face gone. “Could we speak in private?”

 

“Yeah. What’s wrong?” He motioned for her to follow him. Together the pair stepped inside the makeshift post and began to wander the halls until Jolyon found them a room. Inside there were upholstered chairs, floor cushions, blankets, and a whole shelf chock full of snacks and small drinks.

 

“I just...” she took a breath and squared her shoulders. “About Uldren and I-”

 

“I’m not jealous if that’s what you’re worried about.” Jolyon found his way over to the shelf of snacks. He grabbed a couple bags and bottles and motioned with his head for her to join him on the large couch seated in front of a window overlooking the Outpost. “If anything I’m grateful. He’s been a little...off, the last few years.”

 

“Off?” Vivian traversed the room and joined Jolyon on the couch. She pulled her legs under herself and leaned against the back of the seat.

 

“Uh...since this one op we did together. It was our last one we did as a team.” He handed her a bottle and bag and shifted his legs. He kept his knees close to his chest. “Don’t really wanna talk about it.”

 

“Oh. So, why the gratefulness?” She opened the offered bottle and sniffed its contents. For a moment she feared what could have been slipped in it. But the other part of her mind reminded her that this was the man who helped save her life. Taking a swig of the liquid she nearly spat it out at the sudden feeling of _bubbles_. Jolyon covered his nose as he nearly blew his own drink through his nose. They laughed at each other, at themselves.

 

“I-I see why he keeps us around” Jolyon said between laughs. Vivian nodded, setting her drink up on the ledge so she could open her bag of snacks. He tried to reach over and pop the bag but the titan was just a _little_ faster and opened it. Just in time to get her lap covered in half-crunched crisps.

 

“Jol!” It didn’t deter her any. She simply collected the crumbs and pieces back up and tossed them back in the bag, save for a few pieces she ate. Her face contorted as the sensation of almost burning hit her mouth. Her drink was handed back to her and she nearly downed its entire contents trying to rid of the sensation. The bag in her lap was switched with Jolyon’s.

 

“Not a salt and vinegar person, eh? We’re not entirely similar, then.” He popped a handful of crisps in his mouth and gave the titan a closed smile.

 

“That felt like too much arc Light wanting an outlet.” Hesitating with this bag in her lap, she merely ate _one half_ of a small crisp. There wasn’t any burning sensation this time. Just...salt. “But uh, why the gratefulness, Jol?”

 

“Uldren’s almost back to normal” Jolyon replied. He took a sip of his drink and set the bottle up on the ledge. “For the first time in I can’t tell you how long he wanted me with him last night.”

 

“Ah.” Vivian’s eyes went to the crisps in her lap. A small pang of sadness and jealousy rose up in her gut. Or was that the bubbles? Her fingers picked at the edges of the open bag.

 

“I’ll talk to him and see if he’ll spend the night with you.” He reached out and held one of her hands. His skin felt so cold against her own. But then, that could be thanks to the Light that the Guardian simply...couldn’t just hide. Well if she could, no one had taught her the tricks.

 

“No. No. If he wants to be with you, it’s fine.”

 

Jolyon’s hand moved from her own up to her chin. He lifted her head up and used his other hand to run careful fingers over the dark bags under her eyes. She blinked at his touch and tried to pull her head away.

 

“How much sleep do you get?”

 

“I don’t know. I sleep until the nightmares wake me up.”

 

He stopped touching the bags under her eyes. There was a look on his face. One filled with concern, worry. He took a breath and let it slowly out through his nose.

 

“Been having more lately?”

 

“...yeah.” Vivian’s eyes fluttered shut. “That same nightmare I’ve been having since I rezzed. It keeps getting worse.”

 

“How so? If you’re...if you’re fine sharing.”

 

The words nearly caught in her throat. She stammered a little and fell silent before finally taking a breath.

 

“I can almost see a face. The birds, they’re certainly Awoken. I can’t explain how I know, just that...it’s a feeling. But...this thing, it arrives on a ship. As the birds approach it expells some sort of...I can’t describe it. But it tears the birds apart now. None live. They just...fall to the ground in pieces and blood and….” Vivian buried her face in her hands. Jolyon moved their snacks to the ledge before pulling the titan close. She shivered under his touch. Yet heat radiated from her smaller form.

 

They remained like that for a while. Jolyon holding her close, Vivian trying her hardest not to break down in tears. He kept an eye out the window down on the ships coming in an out. Finally he spotted the prince’s ship. Panic hit him like a wall when it nearly crashed into the dock.

 

Sounds of yelling through the thick glass and seal caught the titan’s attention. She too glanced out the window. She blinked her reddened eyes, unable to tell whose ship it belonged to. Until Uldren appeared. There was nothing either Crow nor Guardian could do as they watched their lover point to his ship, to the damaged lines that were spitting fluid of some kind.

 

When he tried to get closer the dockhands and a couple Crows pulled him away. Petra approached followed by a small group of Guardians. He pointed in their general direction. Her calm expression turned to anger and the pair apparently began to argue. The other Crows backed away and retreated to the little bar that acted as their hangout. Eventually Uldren turned in Jol’s and Vi’s direction and stomped towards the door.

 

“He’s pissed” Jolyon whispered.

 

“Why’re you whispering? Not like he’s right here.” Vivian turned away from the window. She grabbed her bag of crisps and began to eat them by the handful. He took the bag from her, along with his own and their bottles and tossed them into a covered bin. “I wasn’t done with that, you know.”

 

“He’s not going to be in a good mood. Better to just reduce the risk of getting yelled at.”

 

“He was never like this before” she replied with a frown. No, aside from times where it was arguably reasonable, Uldren never really was loud with her. With others, certainly, but not  _her._

 

As if summoned by their conversation the door to the room opened. Uldren stomped in, avoiding the cushions on the floor, and flopped down next to Vivian. Jolyon walked over and sat at his other side. For a moment Uldren hesitated before wrapping an arm around the other man’s shoulders.

 

“Who’d you get into a fight with this time” Jolyon asked quietly. Uldren puffed up his chest but otherwise remained silent. A smile found its way to Jol’s face. “You got hit by some junk, didn’t you?”

 

“It’s all these damned Guardians. They don’t know how to pick up after themselves. Damned brainless children.”

 

“Hey. Not all of em, right Uldren?” Jol nodded his head in Vivian’s direction. She was merely sitting there, confused and a little intimidated. Her fingers were picking at the bare skin on her legs. Uldren turned his head to her. He let out the breath he’d been keeping.

 

With more patience than she thought he’d have the prince reached out and ran his fingers through her long hair. He even touched one of the flowers still carefully weaved into her braids.

 

“Just like you used to have it.” His hand moved to cup her cheek, thumb rubbing small circles against her cheekbone.

 

“I won’t wear this one all the time. They’re not the cheapest-”

 

“You can have a thousand of them if you want. Until your hair gets this long again.” Uldren smiled and pulled Vivian and Jolyon close. They both relaxed against him as the trio cuddled together on the couch. Before either of them could get comfortable Uldren stood up and turned to them. He motioned for Vivian to stand, as well. “I almost forgot. I need your necklace.”

 

“Wh-why?” Though hesitant the Guardian complied. She unclasped the necklace from her neck and handed it to him. Her eyes watched the prince as he sat down at a taller table and chairs. Jolyon got up off the couch, grabbed a couple more bottles and joined Uldren at the table.

 

Uldren didn’t reply to her. He pulled out his knife. The tip of the blade barely fit between the gem and its mount when he pushed it in. With a little shimmying the gem popped out. Jolyon caught it out of the air and held it up to the light.

 

“I’ve never seen anything like this” he commented. “It’s opaque but...is it emitting light? Someone out beyond the system?”

 

“There’s only two this side of the universe.” Uldren reached under his scarf and flashed a pendant on a silver chain. It was an enameled black bird wrapped around a gem of equal size. But instead of the brilliant ember hue Vivian’s emitted, the gem was a bright cerulean blue. He tucked it under his scarf before Jolyon could reach out to touch it.

 

Vivian sat down on the chair opposite Jolyon. She had been staring at Uldren’s pendant until he hid it once more. Seeing it, and her own gem...she was elated. More than elated. Their conversation drifted as she shut her eyes.

 

_Osana set the tray in her hands down on the coffee table. Vivian watched as the older woman poured each of them a cup and handed one to her. She took it carefully, noting the seemingly dainty material the set was made from. It was thin and light, yet sturdy. Gold leafing and hand painted flowers adorned the bright white set._

 

_“I apologize for my son’s behavior, leaving you here like this” Osana began. She took a small sip of tea before setting the cup down on its matching dish. “For both of them, truly. I’m surprised you’ve been around them as long as you have.”_

 

_“They’re my friends” Vivian replied. She took a sizable sip of her own tea and noted the berry flavor. “Uldren, um...more than that.”_

 

_“_ _The less time he spends with Mara, the more I can be sure he won’t end up getting hurt.” The older Awoken smiled before setting her cup and dish on the coffee table. “One moment. Something I had hoped to give to Uldren but he ran off too fast for me to stop him.”_

 

_Vivian nodded and watched Osana as she left the room. She turned her attention to the windows to her side. Small birds danced around on the thin, decorative metal sculptures decorating the lush flower-heavy garden just outside. She wished she was half as good a gardener, had the time to have something so beautiful._

 

_“Someone out by the mines gave me these as a token of their appreciation” Osana explained as she returned to the room. In her hands was a plain dark box that she handed to Vivian. The younger woman opened the box to a pair of gems. One was a rich ember, the other an equally rich cerulean blue. They seemed to glow against the black velveteen_ _cushion_ _that the gems rested upon._

 

_“They’re beautiful” Vivian muttered. She picked up the ember gem first and held it to the light. It blocked out the light and continued to emit its faint glow._

 

_“They can be the centerpieces of whatever wedding jewelry you two will have.” Osana smiled when Vivian glanced up and blushed. And when the smaller woman began to stammer, to try to dismiss such talk, she lifted her hand to silence her. “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought of such things.”_

 

_It was much of what Vivian thought of, though. She thought of the place, the kind of gown she’d wear, the gems and gold and platinum she’d don,_ _the flowers_ _. None of it could be discussed with Uldren. He didn’t seem like the type to just...do any of that._

 

_“I don’t want to weigh him down.”_ _She set the gems back in their box and closed it._

 

_“If not for you he might’ve died on more than one_ _occasion._ _” Osana’s smile died. She picked up her cup and dish before taking another sip of her tea. “He’s not a complete fool. One day he will wake up and realize how important you have become to him.”_

 

_Vivian let out a quiet sigh. She finished her cup of tea and poured herself another before refilling Osana’s._

 

_“I don’t feel like I deserve it” Vivian admitted. Her eyes lowered, shoulders slumped._

 

_“Who said you don’t? Your dead abusive parents? You’re free of them, Vivian.” Osana stood up and joined her on the small couch. She put a hand on the younger woman’s knee. “_ _Look at me, child.”_

 

_Vivian glanced up, tears welling in her eyes._

 

_“Who else will keep my son from getting himself killed because of his sister, hm? Surely not the flings he has every few months. None of whom are renown surgeons who work a clinic for the underprivileged.” Osana wiped a few stray tears from Vivian’s face. “Hush now, dear. It is the truth.”_

 

_“I think I love him.” Vivian forced a small, nervous smile. “I don’t know. I think i-it’s love.”_

 

_“_ _If you think you love him, then you do.” Osana smiled at Vivian and pulled her close. “When you two announce your engagement I want to go dress shopping with you.”_

 

_“Would Mara and Sjur be there too?”_

 

_“As long as you want them there. Sjur...I don’t think the woman would appreciate anything you pick out, though.” They laughed together, Osana keeping Vivian close. “If you put her in a dress she might just catch fire.”_

 

_Vivian snorted and covered her mouth. She looked up at Osana and began to laugh._

 

“See why they call her Spacer” Jolyon asked Uldren. Vivian opened her eyes and glanced at both him and Uldren. They still sat at the table together. In Uldren’s hands was another necklace. The black band and mount still sat on the table.

 

But this new one was a brilliant silver. The band wasn’t a solid piece of material, either. It seemed like multiple chains carefully weaved together with smaller gems of different colors carefully woven in as well. Even the mount her gem sat in was a similar metal.

 

“Back in the land of the present are we” Uldren asked. He held out the band for her to see. “Something more akin to your tastes.”

 

“It’s beautiful.” She smiled and tried to reach for it. Uldren pulled his hand away and all but jumped to his feet. Waling around her chair he carefully slipped the necklace around her neck, adjusted it just a little, and clasped it shut. Her eyes went to Jol, who was simply watching. “Does it look okay?”

 

“Yeah, it does.” Jolyon grabbed Uldren’s bottle and finished it off. He turned and tossed it in an open bin next to the door. It missed the bin and clattered unto the floor.

 

“Jol” Uldren growled. Jolyon raised his hands and got up to properly throw the bottle away.

 

“Hey, I thought there was a law you couldn’t be better dressed than the Queen. At this rate people will think Vivian’s replacing your sister or something.” He spoke as he grabbed a bag of crisps and a box from the snack shelf.

 

“You thought I was serious” Uldren questioned. Jol turned and pouted at him which only earned a snicker from the prince. “No. I was just messing with you when I said that.”

 

“Oh.” Jolyon frowned as he sat down in his chair. He set the bag of crisps in Uldren’s spot. Once he opened the box he split half of the cookies and slid them over to Vivian.

 

“Sounds like something Mara would do” Vivian muttered. Uldren squeezed her shoulder hard enough to make the titan shift in her chair. “You know I’m telling the truth!”

 

“Well, maybe this new band was a bad idea.” He moved to unclasp and remove the necklace. Vivian whined and put her hand up to the clasp to stop him.

 

“No! No no, please...please...” She craned her head back when he managed to get his fingers under her own. As she did he pressed a quick kiss to her lips. She could feel him smile and saw it as he pulled away.

 

“Relax. You’re too easy to upset.”

 

“I don’t blame her. You’re hard for me to even read sometimes, Crow.” Jolyon opened the bag of crisps and set them down close to Uldren’s chair. “Especially when you stomp in here in a bad mood.”

 

“Neither of you know how to take a joke. It’s something I have to work on with the both of you.” Uldren smiled and shrugged his shoulders. He removed his hands from Vivian and returned to his chair.

 

Vivian returned to the small pack of cookies still sitting in front of her. The band around her throat felt different. It wasn’t itchy. Nor was it entirely comfortable yet. Just something she’d have to get used to.

 

“Jol, you’re going to be helping out with her training tomorrow.” Jolyon looked up from his own cookies, half gone, looking at his lover with a mouth covered in crumbs. Uldren smiled at the ever souring look Jolyon gave him. “It’ll be fun. She’s only been awful in all the exercises we’ve put her through.”

 

“So what’s tomorrow supposed to be” Vivian asked. She didn’t mind Uldren talking poor of her performance. It’d been the same in her first life. She hadn’t been meant for combat then...really, without her Light, she wasn’t that great a fighter.

 

“Long range. Snipers and bows, mostly.” Uldren glanced her way, a sideways smirk on his face. “You remember how many years Sjur spent teaching you how to use a longbow?”

 

“No. Considering you used the word _years_ concerns me greatly considering how much I seemed to have angered her in other trainings.” Vivian narrowed her eyes at him in return. “I do recall a couple times when she’d go on long rants about Corsairs using compound bows, though.”

 

“You mean the rants she would have every day? Why do you think-” Uldren turned to Jolyon for a moment. The taller man ran two fingers over his mouth. “Why do you think I had us stay in the city while her and sister moved back out to the woods?”

 

“So we could have our space, and them theirs?” She shrugged and slid Uldren a cookie. He picked it up, sniffed it, and returned it back to her. She pouted a little before tossing it into her mouth.

 

“You’ll remember one day.” Uldren tossed back a couple crisps and began to rock his chair back and forth. He nearly fell when the table they sat around moved when he put too much weight against one of its legs.

 

“You’re going to end up a Guardian yourself if you’re not careful” Jolyon reprimanded. “Be careful. Can’t believe I have to tell you that.”

 

“You don’t have to tell me anything” Uldren replied. “Vi can just heal me with her Light and all will be good in the-”

 

“That’s not how a Guardian’s Light works” Ripple interrupted. They appeared in a glimmer of Light and began to buzz around the room before stopping between the trio. “Warlocks can barely heal other Guardians as it stands. Your Light needs to be compatible with theirs. Even then, Vivian is a Titan-”

 

“I was _joking_ you gnat.”

 

“Don’t be mean to Ripple” Vivian whined as she pulled her Ghost close. “They’ve been really nice to me since I rezzed. Please treat them kindly.”

 

“You know Uldren got chased by a couple’a Ghosts a few years back-” Jolyon began to retell the story until the prince grabbed his arm and squeezed. The message got across. Ripple wiggled out of their Guardian’s hand and flew over to him. They stopped mere inches from his face.

 

“Serves you right! You probably did something to their Guardians, didn’t you?! Serves you right, you big jerk-”

 

“Ripple!” Vivian grabbed for her Ghost. But Uldren was faster. He swiped the Ghost out of the sky and held it between his hands. “Uldren, let them go. Ripple’s just protective-”

 

“No. No one, _nothing_ , disrespects me, do you understand you little ball?” Uldren put his face close to the Ghost’s optic. “The only reason you’re not being crushed is because you’re Vivian’s. Watch your tone if you don’t want that to change.”

 

“You’re mean! I don’t know what my Guardian sees in you!” Ripple vanished in a shimmer of Light. Uldren’s hands clapped together once the Ghost dematerialized. He turned his glare to Vivian, who was nearly a the verge of tears. His glare broke in an instant and he got up to close the gap between them. Before he could reach out to her, Vivian ducked around him and hurried out of the room.

 

“You were being mean” Jolyon muttered. He nearly fell out of his chair when Uldren grabbed the table they had been sitting at, and flipped it up in the air. He stomped out of the room after the titan, leaving the lone Crow alone to clean up the mess.

 

* * *

 

Vivian didn’t show up for dinner. Uldren ordered the guards to search for her. Petra chipped in when the prince simply remained with his sister.

 

Luckily the titan wasn’t hard to find. The door to her room was left unlocked and opened when Petra stepped close enough. She found Vivian sitting in front of the window overlooking the Reef. Her easel was set up with a canvas on it. The woman was sketching something out. Something Petra couldn’t see.

 

Ripple was resting on their pillow on the nightstand next to her bed. When it was Petra who walked in, not the prince, they rose up and floated lazily over to her.

 

“Vivian is very upset with Uldren right now. She doesn’t want to talk to anyone.”

 

“She skipped dinner. He has the whole place out looking for her.” Petra put a finger up and quickly stepped out of the room. She radioed in to the other guards that _the princess_ was in her room safe and secure and returned back inside. The Emissary sat down at the end of Vivian’s bed and glanced over towards the window.

 

“Did you get in a fight?”

 

“He threatened to destroy my Ghost.” Vivian’s voice was hushed. She didn’t turn to face Petra. Instead the titan brought the canvas to her lap and continued to draw on it.

 

“Oh.” Certainly explained the bad mood he had been in. Could explain why he wasn’t out helping look for her. But Petra knew he would poke his head around these parts sooner or later. She would rather be here as a median to keep either party from harm. Be it from one another or themselves. Ripple settled back on their pillow. It was only then that Petra could tell that the Ghost was angled so they could watch Vivian.

 

But sure enough, the door to the hall opened. Uldren stood there, hands on his hips. His armor was gone and he was only in a simple long-sleeve shirt and pants. The anger that had been all but seeping out of his ears was gone, too. Ripple caught sight of him and vanished in an instant.

 

“Leave. This is a private discussion” he told Petra as he stepped inside. When she didn’t move he turned to her, hands going back to his hips. “Petra. Her and I need to talk-”

 

“Apologize to her Ghost and I’ll leave.” She had no leverage. None but this. And by the frown starting to appear on his face that leverage was slowly sliding out of her favor.

 

“I don’t owe the gnat a single word” Uldren replied. When he turned around he and Petra were both surprised that Ripple rested in the crook of the titan’s neck. She hadn’t even turned around to either of them, just continued sketching on the canvas.

 

“I’m sorry for being rude earlier” Ripple said as they began to float ever cautiously yet hopeful towards the Prince. “I don’t like you, Uldren Sov. But my Guardian, she...she doesn’t like the word, but...I think she feels _that_ towards you. You know the word, right? And if she cares for you I can’t _hate_ you.”

 

Uldren stood there, staring as the Ghost floated closer. Even when they dared rest against his shoulder he didn’t move. He could feel Vivian’s Light emanating from Ripple’s shell. The coldness of the void. His eyes turned to Vivian’s back. She still seemed focused entirely on the work placed before her. Eventually he dared pat the thing on top of its shell. It beeped thrice and vanished in a shimmer of Light. The shimmer rolled off his shoulder and down his chest and back, chilling his ribs and collar bones.

 

Petra got up and left the pair in the room. The door closed after her.

 

“Vivian?” Uldren’s voice was quiet in the quieter room. He padded his way over to her and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. It’d been so long since he’s had to be so delicate with anyone. Since he had to be with Vivian, of all people.

 

“Uldren.” There was a crack in Vivian’s voice. Uldren moved around her, moving the easel out of his way. She handed him the canvas and charcoal in her hand and he set them up on the easel, canvas facing away from them. It was only then that he could see the wet cheeks, the still-flowing tears that ran down her face.

 

“Hey. No crying now.” He reached up and began wiping the tears from her face. There was pain in her eyes. Every time her cheek was dry more tears would replace those collected up. “Talk to me.”

 

“You threatened to kill my Ghost.” Vivian looked away from Uldren. He grabbed her chin and turned her head so she was back to looking at him.

 

“It means that much to you?”

 

“ _Yes,_ Uldren. Without them I would still be a burnt corpse floating out in that broken Galliot in that graveyard.” Vivian leaned closer to him. He barely nodded his head.

 

“I’m happy you’re back.” Vivian almost, _almost_ couldn’t hear him. She sniffled, blinked a few times, stared at him. Uldren let out a sigh before letting go of her face, resting his head in her lap. “You’re a Guardian now. Just have to...get used to it.”

 

There was a shimmer in the corner of her eye. Ripple moved closer to Uldren’s head, shell shifting. She waved her Ghost away and let out a quiet sigh. Her fingers began to run through his soft black hair. He didn’t swat her hand away nor make a sound of disapproval. If anything he seemed to almost melt into her lap.

 

“I’m happy you’re in my life, Uldren. I don’t feel so...lost now.” She smiled and slid off her chair, electing instead to sit on the floor with him. He pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She kissed his jaw up to his ear, back down his jaw to his neck, back up his jaw to his lips.

 

“I’ll follow you through known space and beyond” she whispered against his lips. Vivian shifted her legs so she was straddling his lap. Uldren put a hand on her hip as he bit her lower lip. Her eyes fluttered as he trailed kisses down her jaw to her neck. When he bit into the soft skin there she let out a quiet moan. Her hips ground against his.

 

The motion seemed to set him off. Uldren pushed her to the stone ground and began biting her more and more, his hand sliding under her shirt. He ran his hand over her breast before giving it a ginger squeeze. She moaned against his lips and gasped when his tongue slipped inside her mouth. Her hand went to his when he began to pinch and twist her nipple, earning him breathless moans.

 

When Uldren broke from their kiss Vivian let out a small whine. He chuckled and smirked down at her. Her hand kept his own up her shirt. His other hand began to move down her pants toward her core. She watched as her eyes went wide and snapped shut. Her hips pressed against his hand as his fingers danced over her clit. He rubbed small, rough circles against it, watching with darkening eyes as Vivian moaned and continued to press her hips toward his hand.

 

“So easy to please.” He lowered his head and kissed her lips again. She bit his lower lip this time, running her tongue against it. He pulled away again, returning to watch her face. His other hand let go of her breast and pulled one of her hands to the bulge in his pants. Either she was running on muscle memory or simply _remembered_ her hand quickly unfastened his pants and snaked down. Uldren bit back a moan as her fingers ran over the head of his cock.

 

How long had it been since anyone, even Jolyon, had touched him? Too long. He couldn’t remember the last time. It would be best to play dumb the next time he and Jolyon had time together and he was asked.

 

“U-Uldren” Vivian whined out. “More. More...please...”

 

“You want more?” Uldren smiled down at her. He groaned as her hand began to pump his cock. The friction alone nearly sent him over the edge. His hand pulled away from her clit as he quickly stood up. “Strip and lay down on the bed.”

 

Vivian sat up. Instead of pulling her clothes off, she inched closer. He wanted to pull her away, knew what she was going to do. If any of their past encounters so many years ago were to go by, he knew exactly what she was going to do.

 

She kissed the tip of his cock before taking it in her mouth. Uldren nearly jumped at the slightest feeling of teeth, had to remind himself that it was Vivian’s first time...well, not first-first time, giving him head. His hand moved to the back of her head and pushed her closer. Her hands clenched in her lap as she took his full length. Those electric blue eyes stared up at him, full of anxiety, dark with arousal. His other hand moved to the side of her head and he began to move his hips.

 

For her part, Vivian kept pretty still. When tears welled at her eyes he pulled back just enough so she could breathe. They’d have to do this more, get back into their old rhythms.

 

As he got back to fucking her mouth she began to moan. He groaned softly and thrusted faster. It only dawned on him the closer his release came, that a Guardian was sucking him off and enjoying it. That thought filled him with pride that pooled in his lower stomach.

 

“Ready, my little light?” He didn’t wait for a response. Three more thrusts later and he buried himself to the hilt into her mouth. Vivian remained silent as he spent his load down her throat. She didn’t choke, didn’t gag on him. He let go of her head and took a step back from her. “On your feet.”

 

Vivian complied. She stood up and closed the gap between them. Uldren pulled her in for a kiss, slamming his lips into hers. Vivian moaned against his lips and pressed her hips against his. He held the back of her head as he pressed his tongue into her mouth, tasting himself every place his tongue explored. When she pressed harder against him he broke the kiss and laughed.

 

“You ache, don’t you?”

 

“Yes” she replied, breathless. He ran fingers over her flushed cheeks, down to the marks he had left on one side of her neck. He pressed a finger against one of the larger marks. “Uldren, _please_.”

 

“Strip. And lay down on the bed” He whispered into her ear. This time, she pulled her shirt, pants, and panties off before flopping back unto the bed. Uldren looked down at Vivian, at the small scars here and there. There were a few nastier-looking scars and burn marks he couldn’t place. Were they from her first death or just wounds from the missions she'd been sent on? Before he joined her he went to the door, locked it, and shut off the overhead lights. The only light that illuminated the room was the light of the Reef pouring in from the window.

 

Uldren stripped off his own clothing. He tossed it on the chair Vivian had been sitting in near the window. He saw Vivian watching him through dark, hooded eyes.

 

“Spread your legs” he ordered. She complied, opening her legs as he approached the bed. As he crawled up the bed, between her legs, his hand dipped down to her folds, the other up to fondle her breast. She shivered against him and let out a long moan. His fingers rubbed the outside of her entrance as he watched her eyes flutter shut. “Tell me what you want.”

 

“I-I want you” Vivian gasped out. Uldren smiled down at her and pressed two fingers inside of her. She opened her mouth and let out a breathless, quiet moan. When his fingers crooked up, her back arched. As his fingers slid in and out of her, pressing against the same sweet spots he remembered, his thumb rubbed rhythmic circles against her clit.

 

“Is this all you want?”

 

“N-no...no...oh, Uldren...Uldren...”

 

“Tell me what you want, Vivian. Tell me.”

 

Before she could reply he pressed his lips to hers. He felt her hand ghost over his cock and he grinned against her lips. His fingers pulled out of her, stopped toying with her breast. Vivian let out a quiet moan and looked up at him.

 

Carefully Uldren flipped the pair of them. He relaxed against the bed, staring up at the titan as she straddled his hips. Whether she really intended to or not, she rubbed herself against him.

 

“Do you remember this” he asked. Vivian nodded. One of the flowers in her hair began to fall out of its spot. Uldren reached for it, carefully pulling it from her braid and tucking the stem behind his ear. She smiled down at him and rubbed herself against him.

 

“Up. Up.” Uldren’s hand went to her hip as she sat up just enough so he could position himself. Before she began to lower herself down, her rubbed the head of his cock between her folds, grinning up as she moaned. “When you’re ready.”

 

Ready, she was. After he told her she lowered herself unto his cock. Vivian gasped, her eyes going wide as her fingers gripped the bedsheets on either side of them. Uldren shushed her as he pushed her down fully unto him. He let out a quiet groan and threw his head back into the pillows. Before he could really stop her she lifted her hips up, then back down.

 

He wasn’t ready for her to start moving so soon. But then it wasn’t an unwelcome feeling, either.

 

Vivian’s moans quickly fizzled out to strained breaths. She’d never been loud in bed much to his pleasure. Uldren stared up at her as she began to bounce on him, her breasts rising and falling with her. His fingers found hers and she moved from clenching the sheets in one hand to folding her fingers with his own.

 

She moaned out his name. Breathless, hushed moans. Every time she did it egged him on more and more. And the more she egged him on, the more he pushed his hips in synch with hers to get himself just a little deeper, just a little harder.

 

Her movements began to speed up. Uldren kept his other hand on her hip as a guide. She was quickly losing her pace, eyes struggling to stay open. He wasn’t near his next release but he could tell she was close. All the same old mannerisms she had in her previous life, the clenching of any and everything, the way her hips began to move, even how the muscles in her legs were tightening up. All the old signs that she was ever close to falling over the edge.

 

Vivian called his name when she orgasmed. Uldren nearly panicked as he felt the coldness of the void light wash over the both of them. He kept her upright and continued to thrust his hips up. The tightening sensation as her climax rolled on brought his second release quicker than he expected. He gripped her hips as his second release hit. His hands pushed her down on him as he felt his seed release inside of her. She let out a low moan through her open lips.

 

They stayed like that for a while. Even when he felt himself soften inside of her. She didn’t seem willing to move though her own climax had come and gone.

 

“Can Guardians get pregnant” he asked her once the haze of his orgasm began to clear. Maybe he should’ve asked before they got into this. Not just maybe. But if this was the same woman he’d been with before, she would’ve been mad if he had pulled out.

 

When Vivian couldn’t answer Ripple appeared. The Ghost was like a floating buzzkill but the prince put up with its presence and voice. It was amusing how it laid down on the pillow on the table next to his head. Facing away from them.

 

“It’s possible. But us Ghosts usually take care of things before they become issues.”

 

“If they had issues conceiving in their first life” Uldren added on. Vivian collapsed unto the bed next to him, her hands pulling herself closer to him. One of his arms instinctually wrapped itself around her waist and kept her close.

 

“When our Guardian is reborn all their previous health issues are healed.”

 

Oh. Uldren turned away from the Ghost and over to Vivian. She had been placing lazy kisses against the side of his chest. When she saw him looking at her she smiled up at him. That same, gentle smile she always had before.

 

“I’ll carry your child to term, Uldren” Vivian replied. She sat up just enough to steal a few kisses from his open lips. “With pride.”

 

He should tell her. He really, really should. But she seemed to still be in that daze. This was the same woman he’d always kept around. In her beaming smiles he could see that now. The same memories that they shared weren’t all back yet. And the only difference between old and new Vivian was the light gently rippling over her skin.

 

And that annoying ball she called a friend.

 

Uldren wasn’t tired in the slightest. Quite the opposite. He could feel himself getting hard again as the pair kissed. He rolled her unto her stomach and pulled her hips off the bed.

 

“Stay awake.”

 

“I am” Vivian muttered through the pillow.

 

* * *

 

Uldren woke up first. It wasn’t on his own, willingly. Instead it was to someone pounding on the door. He grumbled and got to his feet. When he moved it seemed to cause Vivian to stir out of her sleep.

 

The titan moved to pull him back in bed but the prince pushed her back into bed and covered up her bare breasts. The marks there would upset anyone if they saw them. As much as he’d enjoy otherwise he hoped she would be smart enough to wear a supportive bra today for-

 

What time was it?

 

Uldren pulled on pants and nothing more and opened the door. Jolyon gave him a one over and frowned heavily. For a moment Uldren thought he was going to strangle him out of pure jealousy.

 

“You’re the one who said she has training. Now you’re both sleeping in? Come on Uldren!”

 

“I’m never late” Uldren replied. He turned around and jumped when he saw Vivian sitting up in bed. She glanced over to the pair of them, her bare chest out for the Crows to see. Jolyon’s jaw dropped a little and he pulled Uldren close.

 

“Get her dressed and to the training room if you want me to help.” The taller man gave Uldren a quick kiss to the lips before stepping away. “Mara’s going to be watching. Don’t make her wait.”

 

As the door closed Uldren turned back around towards the bed. Vivian was already up on her feet, heading to the washroom. He followed close behind and joined her in the spacious shower.

 

They almost fought over the temperature of the water. She wanted it cold, he wanted it to not freeze his skin off. Finally they both relented to keeping it lukewarm when he pressed her against the wall.

 

“Won’t we be late-” Vivian tried to ask as he pressed his lips to hers. Her eyes fluttered shut as she returned with equal passion. A gasp escaped her when he hefted her up. She wrapped her legs around his hips.

 

Uldren broke the kiss and began to leave a trail of kisses down her jaw to the side of neck that had a few marks present already. As he bit down for the first mark, his cock pressed into her core. Vivian moaned against him. Her fingers pressed into his back when he began to move. Achingly slow, he wanted to see who would bend and beg for more.

 

Vivian tried to speed things along. She tried to press her hips down when his moved up. Uldren pressed her harder against the wall and began to pick up the pace.

 

“We’ll be late” she muttered into his ear. “ _Fuck_ , Uldren...”

 

“No such thing as _late._ ” Whatever argument the titan was going to raise stumbled out in breathless curses, mutterings of his name. They were going to enjoy this, and then it’d be off for business.

 

He chuckled when she began trying to move her hips again. It merely meant he’d quicken his pace if ever slight. She whined against him, fingers digging into his skin enough to leave marks of their own.

 

“Together, little light.” He kissed her on the lips. He was still getting used to the coolness of her light and thanked her internally that she was smart enough to switch it when they got physical. But telling by the sheer coolness all over her skin and the soft, desperate moans, the titan was getting close to her climax. He only quickened his pace when he felt himself at the edge.

 

“Don’t pull. Don’t pull” Vivian pleaded to him. Her legs tightened around him and almost hurt with how constricting they were.

 

She was the first over that edge. A string of jumbled curses, _Uldren_ s, and pleadings escaped her lips. The tightening walls around his cock helped tip him over. Uldren thrusted a few more times before burying himself deep inside of her. He let out a satisfied groan and captured her lips up into his. She moaned into him. Her fingers moved from his back up to his hair, holding his head still. Whatever sense of time had escaped her, much to his satisfaction.

 

They finished showering together. Uldren helped unbraid Vivian’s hair and wash it as she rambled on about how to take care of it.

 

“Just like real hair” he concluded. “Got it.”

 

“But no heat products! That can shorten its lifespan.”

 

“Drip dry, then.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Vivian took the wig off once they stepped out of the shower. She set it up on a strange round mount in her room that he hadn’t quite seen before. He made a note to speak to Petra about acquiring more for the titan, of any colors she wanted.

 

Uldren also noticed the pile of clothes accumulating in a corner near the door. He frowned and pointed to it before Vivian could retreat to her closet. She lowered her head a little and her smile vanished.

 

“What is that?”

 

“Dirty clothes. Why?”

 

“No one’s been around to collect them up? How long has this been happening?” He checked the front of his pants for any recognizable stains. Seeing none he slipped his underwear and pants on together.

 

“No one’s been around since I got here. Was going to talk to you about it but-”

 

“I’ll talk to the one responsible.”

 

Vivian fell silent as she retreated to her closet and returned with a crate. She opened it on the unmade bed and sifted through the clothing. If they had the time he’d sit down with her and tell her every time and place she acquired each article of clothing. Each one that he had gifted her which was, really, most of her wardrobe and belongings.

 

Was the woman a demanding person? Not exactly. She got sad often and the best way to start getting her out of that slump was with a gift of some kind. Clothes, jewelry, plants, paints.

 

Uldren watched as Vivian pulled on an exercise bra. He silently remarked at the marks that he’d left on her breasts with a quick brow raise. Before she could grab it he tossed her a matching form-fitting shirt and knee-length shorts.

 

“Do you remember getting these” he asked as she dressed.

 

“Nope.”

 

“Sjur yelled at us when you showed up in a tunic and shorts underneath.” Uldren chuckled as he leaned back on the bed. “Didn’t yell at you so much as me.”

 

“Why?” Vivian rolled her shoulders, her eyes on him.

 

“Because Mara told her how I essentially got everything you wore. She expected me to have gotten you something more athletic when she started working with you.”

 

“Oh.” She hurried to the door and motioned for him to join. As he walked out to the hall she stopped to put on a pair of shoes. “Have I ever told you you're a good man, Uldren? I'm lucky to be with you.”

 

Uldren smiled. He extended his arm and she quickly fell into step with him towards the training hall.

 


	16. In Her Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard for Vivian to be known for more than being trained by Sjur Eido herself. Especially when it seems like everyone thinks that's the most interesting thing about the Guardian.
> 
> As always Uldren turns the opportunity to his benefit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates! I got back from Canada, went to Halo Outpost the same week I got home, then got a pretty bad infection. No need to worry though! I'm on the mend thanks to some antibiotics and now I've got enough energy to get some writing done.

They collected gear from the training room before heading out to a much larger area. There were large windows lining the longer walls. Despite the larger size it felt like there were many, many more people than before. Vivian could see Petra standing next to Mara, who was sitting in a throne, along one of the longer walls.

 

“Lots of people” the titan muttered to Jolyon. He carried a couple of standard-issue standard rifles that he set down on a weapon stand to their side. She noticed the compound bow that sat there and almost smiled.

 

_“_ _What the hell are you doing with that” Sjur called out as Vivian approached. She carried a bow in her hand unlike the one the larger woman usually wielded._

 

_“I got myself a bow” Vivian replied. Sjur grabbed the bow out of her hand and chucked it into the treeline. The poor bow was caught in a branch too tall to easily reach. “Hey! What the hell?!”_

 

_“You’re learning how to use a real bow, little woman.”_

 

_“But it hurts my arms after drawing it all day.”_

 

_"It means you're building muscle."_

 

Vivian’s eyes passed over the compound bow. She frowned when that was the only option there was.

 

“Is there any long bows?”

 

“They want to make sure you can even aim first” Jolyon replied. He glanced over to the still-accumulating crowd and swallowed. “Was these events usually so, uh...packed? Seems like a whole lotta people t see you mess up.”

 

“Hey!” Vivian puffed her cheeks out at the Crow. “I won’t screw up.”

 

“Have you used a sniper rifle? It’s not like a scout rifle where you just point and shoot.”

 

Vivian let out a frustrated breath. The crowd was getting to her. She jumped when she felt fingers dance over the marks on her neck. When she turned around Uldren stood there with an unstrung longbow. He handed the bow and its string to her.

 

“Figured Abra wouldn’t have one laying around.” He pecked her cheek before turning to pat the top of Jolyon’s head. Before the taller man could get out a word the prince hurried off to join his sister.

 

Paladin Abra Zire joined Vivian and Jolyon. She set down a thermal container and let out a sigh.

 

“We’re starting slow, Vivian. Longbow waits.”

 

“I learned mostly on a longbow. If I used a compound bow I think Sjur would rise from the dead and strangle me.” Vivian checked the string and then the bow. She looped one end of the string in a notch at her feet.

 

_“Here, let me.” Sjur huffed and took the bow from Vivian’s hands. Using only her arms she bent the mighty composite bow and stung it. It seemed so easy. Yet here Vivian was, wasting half an hour trying to string it herself._

 

_Uldren snickered off under the shade. He sat with Mara on a thick blanket draped over the dew-soaked grass. Mara stared at Sjur with pure wonder in her eyes. The slightest blush was forming on her cheeks._

 

“Spacer, you have that?” Abra had a hand on the bow. Vivian grunted her response. The titan took a breath and began to carefully bend the bow. She managed to loop the string around the top loop. In the corner of her eye she could see Mara sit up straighter in her seat. Uldren chanced a toothy grin her way.

 

A set of targets appeared at the far end of the room. Digital renditions of minor enemies with circles of different colors. Abra explained that red meant it would be a one-shot kill, orange two, yellow for three. She then handed a quiver of arrows to the titan and a glove. Vivian waved the glove off before slipping the quiver over her right shoulder.

 

“To the line.” Abra and Jolyon took a few steps back as Vivian stepped forward. The crowd fell silent as the titan put her left foot to the line. Energy fields rolled up in front of the crowd on each side of the room.

 

“When you are ready, nock the arrow and fire at the highlighted target.” A field of blue appeared around a Dreg. Vivian pulled an arrow from the quiver and nocked it into place on the string. Worry filled her stomach as she pulled the arrow back with three fingers. She had to adjust the arrow after a moment, but finally raised the bow at the target.

 

One breath in, then out. The arrow flew free, soaring across the room. The arrow found its mark in the digital dreg’s head. It blinked a few times, then vanished.

 

“Lucky shot” she could hear someone call out from behind the barrier. Vivian snarled and waited for the next target to highlight. A harder one, an Acolyte readying its weapon atop a perch, was highlighted. She readied another arrow quicker and watched as it found its spot in the alien's head, closer to the throat. Another target, a Knight, was highlighted.

 

With a small grin she readied an arrow. Nothing from her would down a Knight in one blow. She let loose the first arrow and then another seconds later. The first arrow found its mark, changing the color of the circles. The second hit the Knight’s throat, downing the creature.

 

“Disarm.” Abra and Jolyon stood at attention as the field to one side lowered. Mara stood up and walked across the open room with Uldren in toe. Vivian set the bow down on the stand to her side and watched as the twins examined the shots. Mara even reached up to one. When the pair glanced back at her, there was a sort of bewilderment in Mara’s eyes. Uldren was grinning from ear to ear. She said something to him which dashed that smile in an instant. He moved to the side of the room as Mara approached the Crow, Paladin, and Guardian.

 

“Impeccable aim. As always.” Mara looked Vivian over before reaching up to touch the marks her brother had left on the woman’s neck. “Better not miss this time, sister.”

 

“May I ask why?” Vivian shivered at Mara’s touch. The marks were still a little sore. She didn’t need an answer when Uldren returned to the far end of the room and placed a single fruit on top of his head. He nodded to her before standing straight against the wall.

 

“Don’t miss.” Mara flashed her a small smile before returning to her chair. The field rose back up as she sat down. Jolyon stepped forward, worry visible on his face.

 

“You’re not gonna miss, right?”

 

“No. I won’t.” Vivian took a deep breath and called out to Uldren. “What happens if I don’t miss?”

 

“A date for our wedding. Promise.”

 

“And if I miss?”

 

“You _better_ not.” Uldren snarled for a moment and let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He watched with steeled resolve as Vivian pulled an arrow from her quiver and notched it in the bowstring. He closed his eyes when she raised the bow, heard the sound of the arrow released from the other end of the room-

 

Wet. Something wet splashed his scalp. Uldren dipped down for a moment. He could still hear his heart beat in his ears. Nothing hurt. When he reached up and felt the liquid that had hit his head, his fingers returned with juice. He glanced up and saw the fruit pieced clean through with the arrow.

 

Jolyon let out a sigh before running his hands over his face. Vivian flopped down unto the padded floor. Her bow rested on the ground beside her. The room was silent save for the generators that powered the protective fields. Uldren made his way across the room and kneeled down in front of Vivian.

 

“Well? Give me a date.” Vivian looked up to him. She blinked a few times. Her mind was still working on potentially losing her lover, by her own hand. It hadn’t gotten past that fact, that he was still very much alive and sitting before her.

 

“Six months from now?” Could be enough time, she figured. Enough time to get everything planned. And it finally hit her what was going to happen. The happiness returned to her eyes, her face. She grinned at the prince and leaned forward to embrace him. “Is it really going to happen? Really?”

 

“Just have to announce it.” Uldren kissed her on the lips before standing up. Vivian grinned up at him with a blush on her cheeks as he turned around to rejoin his sister along the sidelines. The field opened then closed at his approach. She couldn’t hear him, nor Mara, but with how Mara said something that seemed to make both sides start to chatter and glance around…

 

“Jolyon, you think she’s going to need work on a sniper” Abra asked the taller man. Jolyon walked over to Vivian and helped her up on the feet. He was careful to remove the quiver and bow from her possession.

 

“Just want to see what I’m working with. Spacer, you with us?”

 

“Yes” Vivian replied. She stood in place, a little aimless. Her mind was off on other subjects. Shaking her head to clear her mind she joined the Crow as he handed her a sniper rifle.

 

“Like I said before there’s more to it than just pointing and shooting. You have to incorporate wind speeds and gravity on certain planets and moons.” Jolyon pressed a few buttons on the display across the way. The arrows left there earlier dropped from the wall as the display shifted. Suddenly there was a Eliksni camp, likely on Earth. The view was from atop a cliffside. There was an ocean to one side. A breeze began to pick up in the room along with sounds of waves and Eliksni speaking to one another.

 

Vivian crouched down on the ground. Jolyon joined her. Ripple appeared just over her shoulder. The Ghost kept close to her head, its optic set on the targets before them. There was a scope in his hand that hadn’t been there before. He watched her though, not the targets on the screen. Watched her load a magazine into the rifle, switch the safety off. Didn’t say a word as she aimed down the sights at the Captain walking by. Targets appeared all over each of the aliens walking around.

 

First shot shattered the Captain’s shields. Second left its brains across the shore. She moved to a sniper that was just starting to aim their way and silenced it before it could return fire. Fourth shot detonated an explosive most of the cannon fodder had been standing around. It went off and sent most of the camp through a chain reaction that wiped out the other hostiles.

 

Jolyon opened his mouth as if to speak. He smacked his lips together and pressed them to a firm, straight line. When he glanced at Uldren he caught the man laughing. People around him were frowning and exchanging money.

 

* * *

 

“Why didn’t you say anything” Jolyon questioned Uldren. The pair of them sat together in Uldren’s room, on his bed.

 

“You’re bad at acting” Uldren replied. He flopped back against the mattress and let out a calm breath. His hair was still damp from their shared shower. “It’s better to just keep you out of the loop for maximum-”

 

“This isn’t the time for your jokes Uldren.” Jolyon frowned at his lover. It wasn’t just him who had been thoroughly embarrassed, but Paladin Abra as well. Poor woman looked like she was ready to wring the prince’s neck when she left the training room. “So why? Why go through all of that and for what?”

 

“A theory.” Uldren sat up. His smile was gone. He had to brush away a couple strands of hair from his eye. “Sister wanted to see if these memories were just that, or if muscle memory was returning as well.”

 

“And? Did that require you humiliating me in front of everyone?”

 

“Come now, Jol. You weren’t as humiliated as much as Zire was.” The prince flashed a small, toothy grin. “No one could blame you cause you’re, well, you. Everyone likes you. Not as much as _I_ do, mind you, but-”

 

“ _Uldren_.” Jolyon inched closer. He narrowed his eyes and stared the other man square in the eyes. “You need to at least level your little schemes with me once in a while. Just...keep me in the loop.” This was leading nowhere. Instead of just spending the night together, enjoying it, Jolyon was just getting upset. He wanted to take his towel and hit Uldren in the nose. The man’s grin didn’t help any as it grew.

 

Before either of them could start the shouting match the door to the room opened. Vivian stood in a Queensguard uniform with a satchel strapped around her chest. A set of lockpicks were still in her hand. Jolyon stammered and pulled his towel over himself as he felt his blood go to his cheeks.

 

“Well come in. Don’t let all the warm air out.” Uldren waved the titan in. She complied and sat down in the chair where he’d normally work on his guns. “Where do you think you’re going?”

 

“Need to relay information to the Tower for the Queen.” Vivian rolled her shoulder. The strap for the bag rolled in the small space between her shoulder pad and neck. “Then I have a few things to do in the City. Just figured you’d like to know in person rather than a note on my door or something.”

 

“Oh? Take Jol with you, then.” Uldren pointed to Jolyon with his thumb before standing up.

 

“Uldren, put something on” Jolyon hiss through his teeth. Unlike himself, the prince waltzed around his room buck naked.

 

“Nothing either of you haven’t seen before” the prince shot back with a sly smile. Vivian nodded and shrugged in aggreement, clearly unfazed by all of this. Uldren’s smirk turned to a toothy grin as he approached her. He smacked her bare shoulder with his hand. “This is the old Vivian I’ve been talking about! But still, take him with you.”

 

“Why can’t I go alone anywhere?” Vivian frowned and looked up at Uldren. “I’ll be fine. Just keep a Crow on me and-”

 

“No. You’re not going anywhere alone for a while, little light.” He turned from the Guardian and hurried to a door off to the side. “Not until we get get a tracker implanted in your arm or something.”

 

“Or something” Jolyon mockingly echoed as he rolled his eyes. He sure as hell didn’t want to go anywhere now. Especially the City. “I think you’ve punished her for long enough.”

 

“It’s not punishment. It’s insurance.” Uldren reemerged from the door with an armful of clothes. He walked over to the bed and unceremoniously flopped the bundle unto Jolyon’s lap. “Petra is swamped with work right now. You can go with her.”

 

“Why not you” Jolyon asked. He set the clothes off next to him before crossing his arms over his chest. From behind the prince he could see the titan was simply sitting in the chair. She could’ve made a break for it, be out of the Reef before Uldren had the decency to put on a _pair of pants_ and chase her down. Course that would incur the man’s wrath. “Since you don’t want anything to happen to her so damn bad?”

 

“I’m looking for a wedding dress” Vivian blurted out. “It’s an old superstition that your marriage will end in tragedy if the other half sees your dress before the ceremony. So no, he can’t go.”

 

“See? Can’t go” Uldren echoed back with a small, forced smile. “Go with her. Help her pick out something I’ll like. You know my taste.”

 

Jolyon scoffed and rolled his eyes again. There was no winning this. But, if he could get something out of it…

 

“You’re going on an op with me after this then, Uldren. Just the two of us.”

 

“Sure. Just the three of u-”

 

“ _Two_ , Uldren Sov.” Jolyon stopped reaching for the pile of clothes next to him. “You. And me. And all the Fallen we can shoot. Deal?” He held his other hand out for his lover to shake.

 

“Hm...a tough proposal- deal.” Before Jolyon could stop him, Uldren spat in his own hand and used it to shake Jolyon’s.

 

“Oh, so you’re still going by the old boys’ club shake are you” Vivian commented off to the side. “I was hoping to make the Tower before, you know, the Vanguard left for the day yeah? At this rate when we get there no food market’s going to be open.”

 

Uldren looked down at Jolyon and smiled as they let go of each other’s hand. Jolyon didn’t say another word until he was dressed, armed, away from the prince, and on the titan’s Galliot. As soon as he sat down in the passenger compartment he slammed his head against the headrest and let out a long, pitiful groan.

 

He didn’t worry when Vivian joined him in said passenger compartment. He had heard the wonder of a Guardian’s Ghost from others. Of course piloting a ship would be simple for the little thing.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“For what” Jolyon asked. He spun his chair so he was facing her. “You wanted to come out here alone. I’m sorry you’re gonna have to drag my ass around the City and-”

 

“It’s not for a dress.” She didn’t smile. Instead her fingers began to fidget together in her lap. “I’ve been consulting with a cosmetic surgeon. I’m having these markings removed and then going home.”

 

He blinked a couple of times. It took a minute to process her words. “So wait, uh...what about the wedding? Is it uh...”

 

“Oh we’re still getting married. Um...I went through the rest of the clothes since my laundry got done. I have a dress already.”

 

“Can you fit in it just fine?”

 

“Yeah. Plus it’s the one I got when their mom dragged me around the city eons ago that I promised her I’d wear. Just don’t tell him though, okay?” Vivian flashed a small smile and let out a sigh. One she hadn’t realized she was holding. Jolyon chuckled and shook his head.

 

“I won’t tell him, promise.”

 

“No spit-shake or I swear on the _stars…_.”

 

“Ew, gosh no.” He made a face and crossed his arms. Uldren was the only one who could do that with him. Anyone else would just get a slobber-covered palm to the face. Or a bullet in the brain. “Without your markings people are going to say you and Petra look related. Just a warning.”

 

“Well I’m the prettier one, aren’t I?” The way Vivian asked him, Jolyon didn’t know if she was being serious, or joking. The question stunned him to silence. One thing his mom had always told him was to _never compare a woman’s beauty to another._ That’s how fights started.

 

“I think Uldren would be the better person to ask.”

 

“Bah.” She waved him off before standing up. “If you want to you can stay on the ship the whole time we’re there.”

 

“He’ll want an update every few hours. Same as when you and Petra came out here.” Jolyon sat forward, his hands resting against his legs. “I can see where he’s coming from. Someone he trusted to help keep an eye on you almost took you away. He was scared proper, Vi. I hadn’t seem him so worried in…ever, really.”

 

“What did you guys...do to him?” It was a sickening curiosity that had attached itself to her. One that had been there since she woke up without any hair. Flashes of the incident played out in the back of her mind. She did her best to push them into her mind’s fog.

 

“Uldren slit Bartok’s throat and dumped his body out an airlock. We gathered you and any critical intel his ship and Crows had and then set his ship to self destruct.” Jolyon looked up at Vivian. He sighed and shook his head. “Bartok was a good Crow. But there had always been something weird about him. There are a few female Crows you should meet and they always complained that he was a boor to them. The Guards were never real keen on the man, either. Especially when he drank.”

 

Vivian swallowed and shook her head. She didn’t care much for the man before. It felt like he had been trying to get on to her before...well. It was all said and done. Nothing anyone could do now. She could only hope she’d never see the man back as a Guardian. For the better of her people.

 

“Approaching the Last City” Ripple announced over the ship’s inner comms. “Guardian, please return to the cockpit.”

 

“Aye.” Vivian took a deep breath. Her shoulder squared, back straightened. Any fear in her eyes had vanished in an instant. She nodded to her fellow Crow before dipping back towards the front of the ship.

 

Before he could get comfortable he felt the telltale shift in his stomach. Jolyon transmatted out of the ship shoulder-to-shoulder with the titan. She glanced up at him with the same satchel as before tucked under her arm.

 

It was only then that he noticed he was standing in the Tower. Some Guardians glanced over to them. On one side of the Tower across from them a group were dancing together. There was another group bouncing a giant purple ball between themselves. One he could identify as a hunter jumped on top of it only to slip and land head-first into the tile floor. Their Ghost appeared over their still body. The other Guardians surrounding all began to laugh.

 

“Hey, Jol.” Vivian’s voice brought him back to their current situation. She held his hand and he could feel the solar Light radiating from her skin. It was easy to forget the smaller woman before him was a Guardian. Usually until her Ghost appeared or she dropped dead in training. He’d never get used to that. Neither to the thought of seeing death as bearing so little weight. A thousand questions flowed through his mind every time he really began to think about it-

 

Vivian carefully led her fellow Crow through throngs of Guardians. Some turned to look at the pair. Mostly hunters, she could tell. Some gave them glares. It all bounced off their armor. They kept walking through the dimly-lit hall until they came across a Guardian taller than even Jolyon. The man was built like a fortress.

 

“Guardian” the man shouted at the titan. Vivian nearly jumped out of her suit and turned to him. “Tell me when you have time for more training.”

 

“Hey Shaxx. I’m actually getting squared away out in the Reef.” She shrugged her shoulders and forced a small smile. Her hand raised Jolyon’s just a little. “This here’s the best shot we’ve got. Pretty sure he’d put half the Guardians here to shame.”

 

“What-wait, Vi...” Jolyon pulled his hand away and puffed his chest out a little. “Against mortals, sure. But Guardians…?”

 

“No need to be humble. I’m ashamed to say it’s true.” Shaxx’s voice dropped just a little. But nothing seemed to deter his demeanor. “They just need to train more!”

 

“Yeah yeah, I got the hint. When I’ve got time, ‘right?” Vivian patted the satchel under her arm. “Gotta get these to the Vanguard. Be seeing you round.”

 

The Crows left while Shaxx asked out loud if it _really_ took two people to deliver documents. Another battle, another day Vivian reassured herself. Honestly the less time she spent with the man, the better. He intimidated her to no end. Probably did with almost every Guardian.

 

Even from the doorway she could feel Zavala’s eyes on her. Vivian held Jolyon’s hand for a few moments before taking a step forward. He followed close behind and stopped with her at the far end of the table. They both spotted Eris Morn, another Guardian working closely with Queen Mara, standing on the other side of Ikora. From the way the Warlock and Hunter Vanguards huffed they just ended some kind of argument.

 

“Commander” Vivian spoke up. Ikora and Cayde turned to the pair of Awoken at the end of the table. Ikora stood up straighter. Cayde clapped his hands together and approached the Crows.

 

“Look at you! Spiffy in that uniform. Really. Not...hurt or anything. Not at all.” Cayde clapped her shoulder and sniffled. He tried to slip his other hand into her bag only to get his hand crushed between Vivian’s side and arm. And she didn’t seem content to let him go until he cried out. “Yield! Yield!”

 

She set the bag down once Cayde stopped trying to pilfer its contents. The titan handed the set of tablets to the exo who was quick to begin scrolling through them. His Ghost even appeared and scanned each tablet.

 

“Perfect. Just what we needed. Good job, kid.” Cayde clapped her shoulder again before returning to his spot at the table. He handed the tablets over to Zavala, who only glanced at them before handing them off to Ikora.

 

“I’m only the messenger. You can send compliments to my fellow Crows.” Vivian let out a calm breath. She gathered up the satchel and slung it over her shoulder. “Still getting the hang of everything out there.”

 

“Why did it take two to deliver this information” Zavala asked. His eyes narrowed at Jolyon. Jolyon, for his credit, stood firm right behind Vivian.

 

“There was an incident. I’m not to be left alone.” She broke eye contact with the Titan Vanguard. He seized the opportunity to lean forward and move his stone-cold gaze to the younger titan before him.

 

“And what incident was this? Why wasn’t there any report?”

 

“It’s Reef business. You needn’t be involved-”

 

“You are a Guardian of the City, Vivian-”

 

Vivian smashed her fists into the table. It jumped a little under the sudden force and startled Ikora and Eris.

 

“ _Stars above_ I said it doesn’t involve the Vanguard! It’s handled, settled, put to rest. _Leave it there_.” She didn’t mean to yell. Nor did she mean to snap as much as she did. But her blood was boiling. She was seeing red.

 

Jolyon could tell, too. He carefully pulled Vivian’s arms away from the table, spun her around to him.

 

“Calm down. Flared tempers get one nowhere.”

 

“I’m-”

 

“Hush.”

 

Vivian huffed a breath through her nose. She chewed on the inside of her cheek in an effort to keep herself from really blowing up.

 

“What happened” Zavala asked again. This time, the sharp accusatory tone to his voice was gone. Now instead, there seemed to be concern. “If you’re willing to share.”

 

“You alright with me…?” Jolyon leaned his face closer to the smaller titan’s face. She nodded and shut her eyes. He swallowed and turned his gaze towards the Vanguard. “Someone attempted to abduct Vivian. The Prince and I thwarted the abductor’s plan and neutralized the hostile. Since then Prince Uldren has insisted on her having someone at her side whenever she leaves the Reef.”

 

“Are we done?” Vivian opened her eyes and dared look at the Vanguard before her. The pity she could feel from them only served to set her blood back to simmer. “If we are, I will be in the City for a few days for personal matters.”

 

“You’re dismissed.” Zavala swallowed when the smaller titan spun on her heel and began to march out of the room with the taller Crow in toe. He wanted to tall her that she could talk to him if there was anything wrong. But saying something like that to her seemed...like it would be a bad idea. Better to let Ikora or Cayde speak to her.

 

And judging by the seemingly calm demeanor Cayde had, he heard the news before. Whatever the reason there was to not bring it up to him, he’d have to let it slide for now. Because for now, they were planning for war.

 


	17. Saving Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vivian wakes up with a new, yet not new, face. And with new and old horrors. She tries to confront Mara with the horrors of the future, and questions those of the past with Uldren.

_The impact was hard enough to hurt. A woman about Vivian’s height with pale blue flesh and red hair hit her again across the face. Vivian moved to block her face which seemed to enrage the woman._

 

_“Worthless! Worthless child!” The woman grabbed her by the collar of her dress. She began to smack the younger woman in the ear, the temple, the side of her face. “I should have terminated you when I had the chance!”_

 

_What were Vivian’s crimes? She tried to search her younger self for answers. But there was nothing to be found. Just emptiness. Emptiness as the physical assault continued, and words sharp as knives kept coming from the older woman._

 

_Suddenly, Vivian grabbed the woman by the wrist. She stopped hiding her face. There was rage. Indelible rage. Pulling out a large knife from her apron-_

 

“Vivian? You good?” Jolyon’s voice was the first thing that brought her back. Vivian couldn’t see, what with the bandages covering her eyes. But she could feel his hand holding her own. Could feel her own body shaking. The sound of a heart monitor beeping rapidly echoed through the room.

 

Some door off to the side opened. Delicate hands grabbed her arm….

 

“No” Vivian screamed out. “Don’t hurt me! Don’t touch me!” She tried to break out of the grip on her arm. But there was a second. Jolyon’s hand left hers. She could hear shoes shuffling against the floor.

 

“Stop! You’re scaring her. Stop!” Jolyon tried to pry the nurses off of his charge. Whatever had happened in the titan’s sleep… he’d have to let Uldren know when they got back. If Vivian didn’t murder these poor mortals first. “Vivian, calm down. They’re here to help...”

 

“Don’t hurt me” Vivian cried out again. She moved to bite the nearest hand or arm to her but snapped only at air. Ripple appeared in a shimmer of Light and nudged their shell between their Guardian and the nurse that had arrived on-scene first.

 

“She had a nightmare. Let go of her. She thinks you’re going to hit her. Please” Ripple pleaded. “She will hurt you if you don’t stop. Please let go of her.”

 

“It wasn’t a nightmare” Vivian sobbed out. “It was real...it was real...”

 

“It wasn’t real” Jolyon replied. He made it back to Vivian’s bedside and took up her arm. At first she tensed but relaxed when he began to run the backs of his fingers down her arm. The nurses quietly stepped back from the titan. “Hey. It wasn’t real, Vi. It-”

 

“It was real” Vivian replied. She couldn’t cry. Her throat burned as another dry sob bounced through her lungs. “She was hitting me. She was hurting me. I was going to kill her.”

 

“Who, Vi?”

 

“Mother.”

 

Jolyon fell silent for a few minutes. He glanced at the other nurses, who glanced at him in return. He merely took a breath before clasping her hand again.

 

“It might’ve felt real. Some of it might’ve been real at one point. But it’s the past. Let those bad memories stay there.” He turned to one of the nurses. “Can you bring the doctor? It might be best to have her tended to back home.”

 

Ripple’s shell shifted as they let out quiet, sad beeps. They moved closer to their Guardian and nudged into the crook of her neck.

 

The room fell silent save for the slowing heart monitor and her heavy breathing. Vivian was able to collect herself, strength sapped, limp against the bed and Jolyon’s arm. A knock at the door startled both Crows. Jolyon turned and saw a man in teal scrubs and a pale blue coat as he walked in. A couple nurses followed close behind.

 

“I heard from one of my assistants that there was an incident” the doctor noted. He looked up and glanced at Vivian before setting his eyes on the other Awoken. “Did you know she’s prone to such violent nightmares?”

 

“No.” Jolyon breathed in, squared his shoulders a little. “I would like to have her discharged back to a private doctor in the Reef.”

 

“What is your relation to Miss Mou?”

 

“My husband put me under his care” Vivian replied. Her voice was low, pained. “I want to go home to my husband."

 

“I don’t believe having you travel all the way to the Reef will be the best for your recovery.” The doctor set the tablet in his hand down on a table before moving to his patient. He carefully removed the wraps, the bloodied gauze, the tape from her head. “You haven’t really begun to heal. Travel through space isn’t recommended when you’re this fresh from surgery.”

 

Vivian blinked a few times. The lights in the room weren’t as bright as she feared. Her eyelids were sore, though. The skin over her head felt like it was going to rip apart. She reached up and touched the stitches on her cheeks, her scalp. Her fingers danced over the smaller sutures around her lips. A nurse brought her a mirror so she could see….

 

Clear. Her skin looked clear save for the reddened line where old flesh met new, and the dark stitches. Her lips were a slightly darker purple-blue than the rest of her face, with smaller dark stitches surrounding them. At once Ripple moved away from her neck. They began casting Light over the sutures. Under the Light they visibly closed up, scarred, and the scars faded. For several long, silent minutes, her Ghost carefully healed her face. As it did, the doctor scrambled to remove the stitches so those small incisions could heal as well.

 

By the time they were done, it was as if Vivian never had any surgery, any stitches, or any markings. Her face was still sore, she still felt lethargic, but the stitches were gone. Jolyon smirked at the doctor as the man leaned back on the rolling stool a nurse had provided.

 

“So, she good enough to be discharged?”

 

“I will ready the paperwork and medication. Does she have a doctor she can see when she gets home?”

 

“Yes.”

 

With that, the doctor let out a quiet sigh. He stood up and, flanked by the nurses, left the room without another word. Jolyon let out a breath he never realized he held before turning to look at the titan.

 

“You sure you wanna just head home? We still have a few days before anyone’s expecting us back.”

 

“I want to ask them something about my past.” Vivian glanced at him before looking to her hands. “About my family.”

 

“Tell me what happened.” He moved closer, took hold of one of her hands, and squeezed it. “If you want.”

 

And she did. She told him how the woman whom she assumed was her mother beat her, slapped her, screamed in her face. How at first she felt nothing, then felt the rage. And how familiar it felt. As she described it, the faint amber rippling of her Light grew as it danced over her exposed skin. Her flesh grew warm, almost hot to the touch. Jolyon held firm, keeping his grip on her hand. Even when he felt like his own flesh would blister if he continued.

 

He didn’t comment. He merely watched as emotion washed over Vivian’s features. Watched the Light ripple over her flesh. Despite her growing warmth he pulled her in for an awkward embrace when she began to cry. It wouldn’t be good to bring her home crying like this. Uldren would have a fit. He’d retaliate against anyone who’d make _his Guardian_ so upset.

 

But could you really punish shadows?

 

“I want to go home” Vivian whispered. “I want to go home.”

 

“I know. Need help getting dressed?” He let her go long enough to grab a set of clothes from a bag next to his chair. Ripple had been wise to swap her Queensguard uniform for something more...inconspicuous. Jolyon set the clothes aside as he helped the lethargic titan to her feet. It took some time to get her out of the medical gown to a knee-length black and gold dress. The doctor returned with a stack of papers and a folded paper bag while Jolyon was helping Vivian with her boots.

 

“Miss Mou, I need you to sign these papers acknowledging that you wish to be discharged despite medical-”

 

“Yeah yeah. Rules are basically same here as they were back in...” Vivian took the papers and pen and began to sign. Her hands were still a little shaky. Her signature came out shaky. It was the medication she was still under. If it ran out she would probably want to blow her brains out with how much she’d _hurt_.

 

“I have included a 60-day supply of medication in here in case you experience any additional pain. There is also a seven-day supply of anti-inflammatories I still want you to take. Despite you being a Guardian.”

 

“Understood.” Vivian handed the papers back and took the bag of medicines. Ripple transmatted them back to her ship. She tried to stand on her own but needed Jolyon to catch her from landing face-first into the floor. “Get me home, Jol.”

 

Jolyon nodded. He all but carried the titan to the roof of the hospital, to their waiting ship. He nearly lost her when they transmatted in. Luckily he was faster than gravity and caught her before she could fall into the wall. Once she was settled in to the passenger seat he hurried to the cockpit and high-tailed them out of the City. Ripple joined him within the minute of their departure. They floated over lazily before nestling against the Crow’s shoulder. Jolyon had since stopped being disgusted by the little drone. He would dare say they were friends.

 

“She’s asleep” Ripple confirmed. Their voice held a tinge of sorrow. “Hopefully she doesn’t have another nightmare when we get back.”

 

“Yeah.” Jolyon settled in the chair before pulling out a small scope. He turned it over in his hands and began to play with the smaller dial on the top of the scope. “What should we tell Uldren?”

 

“Vi was thinking that she’d tell him there wasn’t anything she liked.” Ripple’s shell shifted a little. “We did pass by that one bridal shop. She hated the dresses in the window.”

 

“So it won’t be a complete lie, then.” He chuckled and put the scope to his eye. Carefully he adjusted the small dial. “What about how drugged up she is?”

 

“I haven’t figured that out yet.” Ripple made a quiet, dejected set of beeps. “If I clear her system of the medicine she’ll be really, really sore. Maybe we can let her sleep it off?”

 

“Maybe. But if he wants to see her right away? What if the Queen needs her for something? She can’t walk.”

 

“Well, we...” Ripple let out a sigh. It sounded so artificial to Jolyon's ears. “We should be able to get away with just having her rest for a day or two. I can let Petra know what’s up. She can help keep us in the loop.”

 

“Guess that’s what we’re gonna have to do then.” Jolyon glanced at Ripple. “Say, can people have Ghosts and, you know, not die? Does that happen?”

 

“Such things are from folk tales in the City. That there was one who had the gift of Light before their Ghost found them.” Ripple’s shell shifted. “I’ve never seen anyone without Light have a Ghost, though. Not unless they’re just friends. Why?”

 

“Ah. Just wondering.”

 

* * *

 

“Jol! You’re back early.” Uldren stopped Jolyon in the hall. His eyes narrowed as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. He put his hands on his hips. “Don’t tell me it was that much of a failure.”

 

“Sad to say it was.” Uldren’s gesturing didn’t phase him. Jolyon closed the gap between the pair and kissed the shorter man on the lips. “Vi’s resting in her room. She’s all tuckered out.”

 

“Nothing. Not a single one?” Uldren returned the gesture before crossing his arms. He still wore a small frown. “She is aware that Glimmer isn’t an issue, correct?”

 

“Yes, she is” Jolyon exasperated. “Said your mother got her a dress a long time ago. I think she really likes it.”

 

“You don’t know how bad my mother’s sense of style was.” Uldren took the taller man by the hand and led him down the hall towards his room. “We’ll find something better that-”

 

A scream. Albeit muffled, it still echoed down the hall, from Vivian’s room. Uldren paled, let go of Jolyon, and began to sprint towards the sound. Jolyon followed close behind. His stomach felt like it had fallen right to the floor. Already he was beginning to think of how to tell Uldren about the titan's condition....

 

Uldren plugged in an override code in the pad lock. The small screen flashed red, then green. The door hissed open. What was waiting for them inside wasn’t what Jolyon thought.

 

Vivian was at her desk. She was frantically writing, or drawing something, on a scrap piece of paper. On the back of her medical discharge paperwork.

 

Uldren was the first to approach. He glanced down at what she was working on. “Stars above what is that, Vivian?”

 

She didn’t reply. She finished up the last bit of details and spun around. She nearly smashed her head into his nose. Both Uldren and Jolyon grabbed her and forced her to sit.

 

“Another nightmare” Jolyon asked. He took the paper from her hands and stared at the image. Whatever it was, it sent a pang of primal fear through his spine. Like he’d seen the beast before. “Vi?”

 

Vivian jumped when Uldren’s fingers dug into her shoulder. She turned her gaze to him. Tears welled in her eyes.

 

“Where is Mara?”

 

“You just got back. Tell me what kind of dresses-”

 

“Uldren, this is more important. Where. Is. Your. Sister?” Vivian’s hands moved to hold Uldren’s shoulders. There was fear in her eyes. “I need to know.”

 

“Slow down. Stop. You’re shaking.” Uldren pulled her hands off his shoulders and held them together in one hand, the other reaching out to wipe her wetted cheeks. He wiped a bit more when what he thought was makeup didn’t rub off unto his fingers. “What did you do?”

 

“She had her markings removed” Jolyon confessed. “She did it because you didn’t like them.” He turned the paper so the monster’s face would stop looking at him. So those beady eyes would stop staring into his soul.

 

“What?” Uldren let out a nervous laugh. He turned to Jolyon with an awkward half-smile that died when his lover didn’t laugh. He turned to the paper in his hand. “And what’s that, then?”

 

“Our people’s death.” Vivian sniffled. She blinked a few times as the last of her tears streamed down her cheeks. “I need to talk to Mara, Uldren. Please.”

 

Uldren held the titan in his hands. He glanced between her, Jolyon, and the paper. His gaze turned to Vivian. “You lied to me about what you were going to do in the City.”

 

“I looked at dresses. I already have one. Your mother got it for me back ho- in the Distributary.” She stared at the prince as he contemplated what to do. She flashed a small smile and kissed his forehead. “Let me speak to Mara. Please. To ease the worry in my soul.”

 

Uldren let out a forced breath. He let go of her hands before standing up. Jolyon moved to help Vivian up but she rose to her feet with minimal issue. But it was the prince who stopped her from leaving once more.

 

“Before you go...your markings.”

 

“I had them removed. Just like Jol said.” Vivian grabbed one of Uldren’s hands and put it to the side of her face. “I don’t look so much like a Guardian now. Do I?”

 

“No” Uldren confessed. “You don’t.” He pressed his fingers to her skin but stopped when she winced. For a moment he could forget that she had ever died, ever became a Guardian. He leaned forward and pressed a short kiss to her forehead. His voice dropped almost to a whisper against her soft skin. “My little Vivian.”

 

She smiled up at him. Her heart wasn’t pounding so loud in her ears now. But her chest still hurt. As well as her face. “I’ll always be yours. But I want to talk to Mara about...”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” His hand moved to cup her cheek before he turned to the door. Jolyon and Vivian followed close behind. He led them down the hall to his sister’s room and knocked on the door. For a minute the trio stood in awkward silence to not one, but two voices on the other side of the door. And when it opened, Petra poked half her face through the door.

 

“What’s wrong, Uldren?”

 

“Vivian wants to talk to Mara” Uldren replied. He raised his voice loud enough that the other occupant of the room could hear. “She saw something that’s got her frightened.”

 

“I thought she wasn’t supposed to be back for a few days.” Petra pulled a robe, clearly too big for her frame, over herself as she slipped out through the door and left it open just enough to get a hand through it. She turned to Vivian and stopped in place. “What happened to your face?”

 

“Didn’t like my markings anymore. I got rid of ‘em.” Vivian flashed a forced, toothy grin. “Gotta let her dress, huh? She used to walk in on Uldren and I without a care but _now_ _we_ have to wait-”

 

“You two look related, honestly” Jolyon commented. A smile was forming on his face. “Just put a wig on Vi and you could be twins, yourselves.”

 

“Speaking of relations,” Vivian turned to Uldren. “Did my parents used to beat me?”

 

Petra made a face and turned from Jolyon to Uldren.

 

Uldren blinked a few times before nodding. “You told me about how they used to hit you. Did you have a bad dream about them?”

 

“My mother. She was hitting my face, and-”

 

“Petra, send her in.” Mara’s voice was faint through the gap in the doorway.

 

“Yes, ma’am.” Petra turned to Vivian and motioned her inside. Vivian nodded, slipped through the open door, and closed it after herself.

 

Despite the mess of bedsheets, clothes strewn across the floor, the empty bottle of wine with accompanying glasses on a side table, the room was as immaculate as Vivian would assume. She dared steal a glance at Mara, who was in her own robe, sitting in a nook, surrounded by books.

 

“Apologies for the interruption.” Vivian approached, paper in hand. Mara looked up from the book that was in her lap, her eyes piercing. The woman was outwardly calm, but there was a subtle anger in her eyes.

 

“I was under the assumption you were going to be gone for a few days” Mara remarked. She set the book down and stood up. As she approached, her eyes examined Vivian’s face. When the taller woman was close enough, she reached out to touch the titan’s cheek. Her fingers moved from her cheek to her lips, to her forehead, to her scalp. “What did...you do, Little Light?”

 

“Uldren didn’t like my markings. I had them removed.” Vivian tried to brush Mara’s fingers off her face. She earned a pinch to the cheek and let out a sharp cry. “Stop! It still hurts!”

 

“Don’t lie to us again.” Mara let go of her cheek before taking the paper out of Vivian’s hand. She read over the text printed on the one side. “This is discharge information.”

 

“It’s on the back. The vision came in my dream.” Vivian began to pace back and forth as Mara flipped the paper over. “Remember that nightmare I’ve had since I rezzed? It’s getting worse. It’s getting descriptive. I saw that _thing_ before everyone died. Whatever you’re planning, call it off and-”

 

“Slow down.” Mara sat down in a plush chair and stared at the creature sketched on it. It didn’t outwardly phase her in any way Vivian could tell. “Come, sit. You’re nervous.”

 

“I’m gonna be nervous, Mara. Whatever this thing is, it’s capable of wiping our people out in a single flash.” Vivian stepped closer. She leaned closer to Mara, hand on each arm of the chair. “If you don’t call off whatever you’re planning, you’re going to kill our people. You’re going to kill Uldren. I can’t let that happen.”

 

“You have no authority, Vivian.” Mara flipped the paper over and turned her gaze to the titan before her. “We must make sacrifices. It's a risk with the plan.”

 

“What plan? You, Petra, Jolyon, Uldren. You’ve all kept me out of the loop. Like-like-like I’m just some drone you just use to have things shot. Or deliver information.” Vivian stood up straight and let out a shaky sigh before pacing. “I’m not like other Guardians, Mara. I remember where I came from. I’m remembering. I just...want to be respected, that’s all. And yet all my fears, you just toss to the wind, say ‘it’s nothing to worry about.’ Yet why am I still having this nightmare? What else does it mean? What is that thing I saw? Why does it make me so _scared?_ ”

 

Mara watched Vivian pace and rant. Her eyes went to the paper under her fingers for a moment but turned to the titan when she fell silent.

 

“You fear losing my brother.”

 

“ _My husband_ , Mara. He’s not just yours. Not anymore.” Vivian turned towards Mara and crossed her arms. “And yes, I do. I would give up my Light if it meant securing his safety.”

 

“Then why not take his place at my side when the time comes? Or will your fear of the future render you motionless as it did last time?”

 

_Last time. The Moon. The Ogre that took Chip from Kari. The way Vivian’s body just...stopped. How violent the reaction was._

 

“How did you know about…?”

 

“I had Commander Zavala send me your file. You let another Guardian die because of your own fear.” Mara stood up, closed the gap between the two of them. She pulled Vivian down to her knees and grabbed hold of her jaw. “What makes you think you have the strength to save anyone, Little Light?”

 

Vivian stared up at Mara, at the anger forming on the woman’s features. Ripples of solar Light began to burn brighter in intensity as rage boiled the titan’s blood. Tears of anger stung at her eyes, at the scars just-healed, and felt like ice as they streaked down her cheeks.

 

“Because I died for Uldren once before, didn’t I? I’d do it a thousand times more if I must.” The heat of her flesh grew. Mara let go of Vivian’s jaw. “I would have hoped you cared for him half as much as I do.”

 

Mara’s face contorted into hatred for a moment. The same hand that had held Vivian’s jaw slapped across the titan’s face. In an instant, Vivian’s hatred came to a head, then drained away. A hand went to cover the purple mark forming on her cheek as she looked up at Mara.

 

“You speak of him as if you _care”_ Mara spat. “You only see one life. I see the millions others that we can lose. Not just my citizens, Vivian. Would you really throw Humanity away for one man?”

 

“Would you throw your people away just to prove how much of a leader you are?” Vivian narrowed her eyes and squared her shoulders.

 

She wasn’t expecting Mara to jump her. She wasn’t expecting the taller woman to have her hands around her throat, to have her full weight in the movement. Vivian could fight back and hurt her. That wasn't acceptable. But, she could let Mara kill her.

 

Mara was expecting a violent reaction. She watched as Vivian did nothing to the hands around her neck. She watched as the glow of Vivian’s eyes dimmed, as they stared up into her own. As they rolled back, how she took her last breath, and stilled. And yet, for a while after the body under her stilled, she still kept her fingers clenched around her throat.

 

Ripple appearing out of nowhere made Mara jump. She nearly smacked the poor Ghost as it tried to get closer to its Guardian. But the Ghost was just a little bit faster. It ducked her hand and hovered near its Guardian’s lifeless face.

 

“She cares” it told Mara. “She cares so much. I think it's love, really. She sees you like a sister. It’s just that...she doesn’t want to lose you, or Uldren. She’s scared of that.”

 

“Just bring her to life, little ball.” Mara moved away from Vivian, back to her chair. She sat down and watched as Ripple’s shell expanded with Light. An instant later the titan sat up, gasping for air, reaching for her throat. Her neck was bruising. The light from the window made the markings look sicklier than they would normally appear. The band of her choker shimmered, the gem seemingly glowing.

 

“Did that let your anger out” Vivian coughed. “Keep that picture. Do whatever you want with it. The image is stuck in my head anyway.” She struggled to get up. Slipping on the floor, she stumbled to the ground before finally finding her footing. Vivian rubbed at her throat and turned to leave the room.

 

“You think you’re the only one afraid, Little Light” Mara called out. Vivian stopped in her tracks, turning to look at Mara with wide eyes. She turned and left the room without another word. Mara could just hear Petra’s gasp as the door opened.

 

Petra gasped when Vivian stepped through the door. The titan’s cheek was a discolored purple, her neck was bruising in splotches of purple, red, black. Uldren reached out, tried to pull the titan close. Vivian winced away from his touch. She pressed her back to the wall next to the door. Her reddened eyes were set to the floor.

 

“Petra, to bed” Mara called out from the room. Petra took a breath, her concern ebbed away as she stepped back inside Mara’s bedroom and closed the door.

 

“Vi, what happened” Jolyon asked above a whisper. He took a step closer to her, only for her to take two steps away. Her back was still to the wall, hands going up to her throat to cover the more obvious wounds.

 

“Jol, stop.” Uldren raised his hand to his fellow Crow. He turned his attention back to the titan. “Come here, Vi.”

 

Vivian glanced at Uldren, at Jolyon, then to Uldren’s hand. Her brows were furrowed together, eyes wide. Before anyone could stop her, she bounded down the hall back towards her bedroom.

 

Jolyon opened his mouth as if to speak. But Uldren’s raised hand stopped him. He looked so tired all of a sudden. All of this concerned the taller Crow.

 

“She going to be okay?”

 

“She’ll be skittish for a few hours then come back around. It’ll be fine, Jol.” Uldren started padding down the hall. When he noticed the taller man wasn’t following he turned to him again. “This isn’t the best place for this conversation.”

 

* * *

 

They stayed up most of the night. Uldren told Jolyon what he knew about Vivian’s life before they met: youngest of three daughters, her older sisters always picked on her, parents were harsh and often resorted to violence and screaming at the younger Vivian.

 

“Whatever happened between Mara and her was bad, then” Jolyon commented. “Do you think your sister’s fine?”

 

“She’s fine.” Uldren shifted under the plush comforter. He adjusted a pillow so it could keep his head angled in such a way he could see the door open. “Vivian would never hurt Mara intentionally. If she had she would’ve told us back in the hall.”

 

“So, you think...she let Mara do that to her?”

 

“I don’t know. We can ask when Little Light finally joins us.”

 

Jolyon sat up and yawned. He still wanted to get some sleep at least. Even if their schedules were looking pretty empty the next day or so.

 

“Will she really come by?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They fell silent as Uldren watched the door. When the knock came, both of them had almost been asleep. Jolyon scrambled for the door and opened it to see none other than Vivian standing there.

 

“We’ve been waiting for...Vi, what did you do-”

 

“Please don’t yell. I...”

 

Uldren nearly jumped out of bed. He ran to the door and peered out from behind Jolyon’s shoulder. His eyes went wide at the sight he saw.

 

The mark on Vivian’s cheek was gone. The bruising on her neck was receding. But the shoulders of her night shirt were drenched in blood. It seemed to drip down her shoulders, down her chest and likely her back. One side had it worse than the other.

 

The prince didn’t say a word when he pulled Vivian over the threshold. Didn’t say a word when he led her to the attached bathroom instead of the bed. He sat the titan down on the edge of the tub and began to run the water in the accompanying sink. She was shaking, tears welling up in her eyes.

 

“Don’t apologize. I’m not mad” Uldren told her as his back was turned to her. Vivian let out a soft whimper and lowered her head. “Talk. Just talk.”

 

“I don’t want to lose you. Not after getting you back so soon. Not ever.” She didn’t raise her head until he pulled her head up and began to wipe drying blood off her scalp with a soapy hand towel. “I told her that. She got upset.”

 

“A bit more you said, then.”

 

“I said she doesn’t care. Doesn’t care if she loses you, or her people. That’s what it feels like.” She grit her teeth then slacked her jaw as his fingers pressed into her jaw. He was silent as he turned her head the other way and wiped up blood and a few pieces of brain matter off her scalp.

 

“Did you let her take her anger out of you?” Uldren pulled on her bloodied, ruined shirt. She raised her arms enough for him to pull the garment off and toss it in the tub. He sighed, squeezed the bloodied rag in the sink and ran more water and soap through.

 

“Yeah. I didn’t want to hurt her. Just let her...you know.”

 

“The hit to the face wasn’t in the plan, was it?” He began to wipe drying, caked blood off her shoulders. He slowly moved down her back. “I could feel her anger, Vivian. She wasn’t holding back.”

 

“Do you think she wants me to leave the Reef now? Where would I go? I’m not welcomed in the Tower.” Tears welling began to stream down her cheeks. Uldren let out a sigh and wiped the tears away with the back of his pinky.

 

“You’re not going anywhere. Just behave until the big day, understood?”

 

“Yeah." She lowered her eyes and allowed him to keep wiping up the blood. Minutes passed before she spoke again. "Um...can I bunk with you tonight?”

 

“Sure. Jol doesn’t mind.” Uldren flashed a small smile as he moved to rinse out the washcloth again. “You don’t mind either, do you?”

 

“No. So long as there’s enough room.” Vivian watched him as he returned. She bit the inside of her lip as he began to wipe the drying blood off her breasts. Her cheeks tinged with purple and she had to look away when he grinned up at her. 

 

He finished up bathing her. When he toweled her off he pulled off his own shirt and pulled it over the smaller titan. Uldren squeezed what bloodied water he could out of the towel and tossed it in a small bundle of clothes in the corner.

 

“Promise me you’ll never do that again, yeah?” He stopped her at the door and pointed to the side of her head. “If you feel that distraught come talk to me. I don’t want to know how bad your bathroom looks.”

 

“It’s uh...bad.” Vivian walked into his bare chest when she accidentally bumped into him. Uldren’s smile dropped as he leaned closer. “Promise. Even if you and Jol are in the middle of the most passionate pounding. Understood.”

 

“N-no Vi, hey. See, that’s not- _Vi_ I swear...” his smile returned as she began to giggle. The pair exchanged a quick kiss before ducking out of the bathroom together. They caught Jolyon laying down in the middle of the bed, hands up behind his head.

 

“Sorry Crow, looks like ya gotta sleep on the floor tonight.” Jol smiled and shrugged as the pair approached the bed. He motioned to the pillow on the ground. “There ya go.”

 

“If he’s sleeping on the floor I will, too” Vivian replied with an empty smile. She moved to sit down on the floor but Uldren grabbed her arm and made her sit down on the edge of the mattress.

 

“Move.” Uldren jumped up into bed, under the blankets, forcing Jolyon to move over. Vivian blinked a few times before joining the pair. She laid on her side, nestled up against Uldren under the heavy blankets. Her eyes followed the prince’s hand as he reached up for a button on the headboard. With it, the flicked the lights off. A set of blinds rolled down over the large floor to ceiling windows on Jolyon’s side, darkening the room even further.

 

“So...no head” Jolyon asked once the silence had begun to settle. Vivian snorted and Uldren groaned out loud. A pillow moved out from under Vivian’s head and the sound of it impacting made the titan giggle again. She yipped when it was lashed at Uldren and accidentally got her right in the face.

 

“Easy Jol. Collateral damage.” Uldren took and pillow and carefully stuffed it under the titan’s head again. She felt his arm snake around her shoulders and pull her closer.

 

Vivian smiled against the side of his chest. Her hand rested on his chest. The conversation Uldren and Jolyon were having was quickly lost as she fell asleep to Uldren’s heartbeat and steady breath.


End file.
